

It really is kind of wild for me to sit back and realize that I have a whopping 14 piercings. Although most of them are in my ear (the others are my nose and belly button) because I didn’t start getting pierced at all until I was well into my 20s…I guess that I just up and decided to make up for lost time.
For many of my later-in-life piercings, I’ve always gone to the same tattoo shop (it’s so much better than using a piercing gun at a place like Claire’s). Listen, when folks are putting holes into your body, it tends to be a pretty intimate experience, which is why, when the guy who hooked me up once asked me, “Have you ever thought about getting a nipple or below-the-belt piercing?”, it didn’t bother me in the least (he’s happily committed and very cool people). When I asked him why he wanted to know, he said that, for one thing, he knew that I wrote about sex a lot (he’s right); also, many of his clients have professed that getting one was well worth the few moments of pain that they had to go through; especially when it comes to feeling intense sexual pleasure.
Listen, the quality of orgasms that I have experienced over the years — I’m good on those. And so, for me personally, I am totally fine with leaving this life with no nipple or clit piercings to speak of. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t curious about what he had to say, though; especially after checking out the Janet Jackson clip that you’re about to watch. So, I did a bit of digging around, along with some impromptu interviewing with a couple of people. If you keep reading, you’ll find out if clit piercings (specifically) are truly able to take your sex-related experiences up a few notches — or not.
The Clit. Briefly Revisited.
I’ve written on the clitoris for this platform on more than one occasion (check out “10 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Clitoris” and “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood”). One of the main reasons why I find it to be so fascinating is it’s a little thing that can pack a truly powerful punch when it comes to women and sexual satisfaction. In fact, study after study has come to the conclusion that the sole purpose for us having a clitoris at all is so we will be able to experience sexual pleasure and orgasms — and shoot, that reason alone should make us want to know as much about our clitoris as possible, including how to properly care for it.
For instance, were you aware of the fact that the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings inside of it while the penis merely has 4,000? So yeah, if there is one part of your body that is hella sensitive to any type of stimuli, your clitoris would definitely be the one.
So, with that being the case, what role does piercing it actually play if you’re someone who wants to get as much out of your clit as absolutely possible? Good question.
Clit Piercing. Explored.
Okay, it’s not like I think that you don’t get the overall concept of what a clit piercing is — clearly, it’s when you pierce your clitoris with a piece of jewelry. However, believe it or not, it’s actually a bit more layered and involved than that.
For instance, did you know that there are multiple types of clit piercings that you can get? You can click here to read up on the specifics; for now, I’ll just say that some go directly through your clitoris (the glans piercing) while others go through the base (HCH) or underneath its shaft (triangle). Coming to the conclusion of which one you want has a lot to do with how you want your clit piercing to look and the type of stimulation that you are after.
Like if you want to get as much sexual stimulation as possible, the VCH, Princess Diana, or triangle piercings, reportedly, are gonna be your best bet. Mostly because the first two move up and down on the clitoris during sexual activity while the triangle piercing has the ability to stimulate your clitoris, vaginal opening, and even a part of your anus as well (hence the word “triangle”). At the same time, while you are “getting yours,” your partner is also able to benefit because clit piercings are able to pleasure him during penetration too.
As far as the type of jewelry that is typically used for a clit piercing, a circular barbell (like the one in the feature pic for this article), a bead ring, or a curved barbell are the standards. Material-wise, you should always opt for surgical steel because it’s durable, super hygienic, really easy to clean, hypoallergenic, and doesn’t corrode over time. Now, for the record, titanium and 14K gold are options too; surgical steel is still gonna (probably) be what your piercer starts out with and, as an additional bonus, surgical steel is the most affordable of the three.
Aside from if a clit piercing is truly all that it is cracked up to be (we’ll get into that in just a moment), I’m pretty sure the next thing that you want to know is how painful is it to get one of those bad boys. I mean, let’s not go into denial mode, right? Piercing any part of your body is going to have some level of discomfort. The main thing to keep in mind with this particular part of your body is, that if you pierce the part of your genitalia that has more fat and fewer nerves, it’s going to hurt much less than the reverse. You also need to keep in mind that if that part of your body has a whopping 8,000 nerve endings in it and you decide to pierce through some of them with a super sharp instrument — yeah…that part. However, it the piercing process is rather quick and the healing process is somewhere between 4-8 weeks.
Oh, and so long as there isn’t an allergic reaction or infection (and if you go to a reputable tattoo parlor and they open a fresh pack of piercing tools), you should be fine. Just make sure that while your clit piercing is healing — you keep it clean; apply saline solution; incorporate some water-based lube during sex, and that you use some form of barrier protection — meaning a condom — so that semen/sperm doesn’t irritate it and/or so that you can be fully protected in case your partner happens to have an STI/STD.
Okay, so now that I’ve given you a quickie review of what a clit piercing is all about, let’s circle back around to what you really want to know: are the brief moments of pure piercing pain worth it when it comes to the potential moments of pleasure that you can experience, for years to come, on the back end.
Three Women Tell Me How They Feel About Their Own Clit Piercings
You know, there used to be a time when folks (especially in our community) would’ve chalked clit piercings up to something that very few people would ever consider doing. These days? I thought it was very interesting that back before the shutdown, clit piercings were not in the top 10 of most popular and requested ones; after the shutdown, though? It has cracked into the top 10 (I guess all of that time at home gave people the opportunity to do some more-than-usual exploring, huh?).
Three of the Black women I spoke to about her own clit piercing — one has had it for years while the other two got one after we went “back outside.” I asked them, specifically, what they thought about them, sexually; here is what they had to say (middle names were used, so that folks won’t be all up in their business).
1. Stacee. 32. Clit has been pierced for seven years.
“I actually got my clit pierced on a bet. My bestie and I at the time were both going through a breakup and when I told her that nothing could be more painful, she said, ‘I bet a clit piercing would be’. We got hella drunk and I got what’s called a Venus piercing [which is actually right above the clitoris]. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t super painful either. As far as the sex goes, yeah — it helps out because the type of earring that’s in it, it hits on my clitoris during sex. I had solid orgasms before my piercing but getting that extra sensation, especially when I’m on top or he’s hitting from the back? It’s better than just about any sex toy that I own!”
2. Iris. 29. Clit has been pierced for two years.
“Let me put it to you this way: you couldn’t pay me to get my clit pierced again and you also couldn’t pay me to ever take mine out. The pain that I had? I ain’t gonna lie; it was a lot like when you get that shot to numb your mouth before a root canal. It’s quick but lawd is it mind-numbing. I have the triangle, though, and whether ‘he’s’ going down on me or it’s intercourse, my orgasms have never been the same; especially when I put my ring in the freezer right before sex. Whew-wheeee. Clit piercings aren’t for everyone but if you’re someone who wants to get the most out of orgasms, it’s a great investment.”
3. Lina. 40. Clit has been pierced for three years.
“I had never had an orgasm before getting my clitoris pierced. Since getting it, most of the time, I don’t have sex without having at least a couple of them! I think it’s a plus to have something extra that is always stimulating that part of your body while you’re having sex. It keeps me from focusing so much on having an orgasm and keeps my partner from having to worry so much about if it’s touching the exact spot. The pain of the piercing was worth it. It was short. Just smoke some weed first. That’s what I did.”
___
Between these three women raving about their clit piercings and Janet’s throwback of liking her nipple one — there must be something to piercing erogenous zones, no doubt. So, if a part of you has always been curious and you didn’t know who to ask, I hope this “scratched that itch.”
Is it painful to get? Yes.
Is the pleasure worth risking it all? Apparently so — and then some.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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