

Lip gloss. Jewelry. Panties. Pumas. T-shirts. If someone were to ask me what I have an abundance of, things that I'm basically addicted to, it would be those five things; especially T-shirts.
No doubt, I am a self-professed walking human billboard. In fact, I love tees so much that a few years back, I attempted to start my own T-shirt line. I must say that the concepts were super dope; so was the name of the line. So, why is it on indefinite hiatus? Because I'll also admit that when I started out, I bit off a lot more than I could chew. For example, T-shirt lines are EX-PEN-SIVE. Because I was ill-prepared, I was spending more to print them than I was making selling them.
Still, I know that one day I'll want to resurrect my line. I'm also pretty sure that some of y'all have considered doing one of your own, but you weren't sure how to make your own vision come together.
Although there are some pretty informative YouTube videos that you could check out (like here and here), I decided to take things up a notch by featuring some of my absolute favorite Black female-owned T-shirt lines on the 'net!
I can personally vouch for each one because I either own some of their shirts or I've bought them as gifts for others. And trust me, after checking out these women's expertise, if having a T-shirt line in 2019 is one of your goals, you will feel more confident than ever that you can pull it off!
Thank you, ladies for your pearls of wisdom. It's like getting access to a free online business seminar and that is priceless!
Tees in the Trap
Courtesy of Tees in the Trap
Arsha Jones, Owner and Founder
What inspired you to come up with a T-shirt line and what inspired the name? Also, how do you select your specialty lines?
I didn't see a reflection of my own experiences, likes, humor, and personality represented online. I wanted to purchase products that represented me — a Black girl who is a little hood, with a touch of bougie. The name came from the Nicki Minaj song "Beez in the Trap". I thought it had a nice ring to it.
How much money do you need to start a line?
That's relative. It could be a low as $20. With the emergence of drop shipping, if you have a domain, Shopify, and an idea, you can be up and running in hours.
Feminine Funk
Courtesy of Feminine Funk
Nicole Grier, Owner, and Creative Director
What is something that you wish you had done differently within the first year of having your line?
When I started Feminine Funk, we had very humble beginnings. Money was very limited, so I didn't factor in a bookkeeper or an accountant to take care of our finances. The truth is, if you are going to have any kind of business, you need someone handling the books. It will give you peace of mind and make tax time so much easier.
What's the biggest mistake a Black female can make in the T-shirt business?
The biggest mistake a Black female can make is to not protect their designs and artwork. I have been guilty of this myself. We are smart and talented and because of this, we are getting knocked off all of the time. Talk to a trademark lawyer and find out your rights and what you can do to protect yourself.
Mess in a Bottle
Courtesy of Mess in a Bottle
Kaliah Wright, Founder and CEO
What do you love most about your T-shirt line and what, quite frankly, is the most challenging about it?
I love the unique concept of receiving a MESSage in a Bottle. This idea stems from the 310 B.C. concept of receiving a message that was dropped into the ocean and then found washed up onto the shore. We are the 21st-century version of that, in which you select the MESSage, it is printed on a premium cotton t-shirt, packaged in a reusable bottle and then dropped into the ocean (i.e. shipped) for yourself or your recipient.
The most challenging part is growing so rapidly with the business. We have exploded in the last three years. We started in my small row home in Baltimore, MD and the brand quickly expanded beyond my reach. We have graced celebrities such as Serena Williams, Lena Waithe and Bozoma Saint John to name a few and featured in publications such as Harper's Bazaar and Cosmopolitan Magazine. The demand for a MESSage in a Bottle has significantly increased and it has been difficult to keep up with as we print and manufacture most of its products in-house.
I'm a walking human billboard, so I'm a snob when it comes to T-shirt quality. If someone wants to start a T-shirt line, how do they make sure their tees are up to par?
A couple of easy things. If you are not a designer, I would try to work closely with a graphic designer to be sure you have a well-designed T-shirt. In addition, I would obtain sample prints of different print methods to be sure you choose the best quality print for your designs on your T-shirt. Lastly, don't be afraid to get a sample of different T-shirts as well to be sure using cotton vs. poly-cotton or polyester is the right fit for your brand. Attending T-shirt print trade shows are a great way to quickly get answers to these questions.
Fab Fly Fancy
Courtesy of FAB FLY FANCY
Tierra McKnight, CEO
How old is your line and what was the inspiration behind it?
Fab Fly Fancy started on Etsy and it has only been in existence for 16 months. In addition to Etsy, we now have our own domain, sell on We Buy Black, and vend at a variety of events. However, most of the revenue is generated from Etsy.
As a full-time educator with a new baby, I was constantly buying items from Etsy. I researched via YouTube and realized that it would be relatively simple to start my own T-shirt line and it would also be the perfect way to generate an extra source of income from home. The inspiration behind my line is a celebration of today's culture with expressive, thought-provoking, and sometimes humorous messages.
In your opinion, is it a good idea to learn how to print yourself or hire a printing company to do the printing for you?
In my opinion, I think it is a good idea to print for yourself because you are in control and your profit margin is typically larger. However, you also need to consider time and the amount of space needed when printing yourself…
I would suggest [buying] a vinyl cutter which is around $200 and a heat press, which would start around $100. Then you would also need to get T-shirts, vinyl, and some type of electronic device (computer, tablet) to create your designs. I started with a small heat press from Amazon, my work laptop, and a Cricut.
Habitually Fly
Courtesy of Habitually Fly
Traci Blanco, Founding Creative
When someone is just starting out, what are three essential things that they need?
Three essential components are 1) a clear niche because it will tell you who your ideal client is and where to find them; 2) a marketing budget because without marketing you don't have a business and 3) an e-commerce website because [putting on your socials] "DM to purchase" is ineffective.
How do you select price points in order to make a profit?
Price points are chosen based on the wholesale costs of all the T-shirt components and the profit margin you're shooting for. This formula can be used to help: Retail Price = [(cost to produce) ÷ (100-profit %)] x 100.
Izzy & Liv
Courtesy of Izzy & Liv
Nicole W. Brown, CEO
I checked out your backstory; it's super-inspiring. What has been the challenges with balancing running a brand and having a family?
The biggest challenge is the fact there really is no such thing as "balance". You cannot give 100 percent to multiple interests because there is only one of you. So even if you are giving 50/50, while that may be an equitable "balance" in the true sense of the word, that still leaves you with the guilt of feeling like you have fallen short, which is a struggle.
For me, it's more a question of how can I "juggle" it all? How can I keep all of these balls in the air and not drop any of them? Also, accepting the fact that I can only have one or two balls in my hand at any given moment, but as long as the other balls are still thriving in the air, all is good. I have four children and there are days where one child may need more attention and focus than another. Being aware of that and giving each child the individualized attention that they need, when they need it, is "balance" for me. And, as an entrepreneur, in some ways, my business is my fifth child. Both my business and my children require constant nurturing and attention to grow and be successful. I do my best to juggle them all and make sure that no ball is dropped.
However, at the end of the day, no matter what, my children and my family come first. So, if I have the business ball in my hand but one of my children need me, that business ball goes right back up in the air, no question.
T-shirt lines are super expensive. What's your advice when it comes to running one without breaking the bank?
I'm a fan of starting out with drop-shipping/print on demand, especially if your budget is limited. This allows you to sell your designs without having to invest in inventory and with little upfront cost of goods. You pay for what you sell as you go and it allows you to see what designs are a hit and what designs are a miss (proof of concept).
From there, you can focus on improving your margins by transitioning your best-selling designs to an inventory model where you produce more in bulk, which costs you less per unit. You can also look into learning how to print your own t-shirts. However, be prepared to be able to scale that operation as your sales increase.
Pink Grey NYC
Courtesy of Pink Grey NYC
Cici, Owner
What are the pros and cons of having an Etsy store?
A major pro of having an Etsy store is the direct marketing Etsy provides [such as] emailing customers on your behalf and directing customers to your shop. A major con is the fees…I would say for an Etsy shop, the cost may be around $500. Having your own stand-alone website will ensure that all profits go to you…but, in my experience, you'll always end up spending more than whatever [is in] your budget.
What, in your opinion, are the keys to success in running a Black female-owned T-shirt business?
Not being afraid to ask for help is the key to doing anything successfully. While it can be rewarding to do everything on your own, it can also be really difficult and maybe even a little unrealistic. So, make sure you have a good support system, whether its friends, family, or members of your church. Utilize those relationships, and never hesitate to ask for help, whether it be connections for discounts on supplies or just for words of encouragement when running your business gets stressful. Having a circle of people who support you and who are there for you can be a lifesaver!
Feature image by Habitually Fly.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Sometimes I get asked the same question, often enough, that I’m like, “It’s time to address this on a larger platform,” — and for, whatever the reason, as of late, folks have been asking me what different sex acts mean.
No, not from the perspective of positions or techniques. What they’ve basically wanted to know is if making love, having sex, and f-cking are simply different words to describe the same thing or if there truly is something deeper with each one.
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
Back when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
A few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
And finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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Featured image by Giphy