'These Pink Lips' Founder Iris Bonner Built A Brand That's Provocatively Empowering
Upon graduating from Arcadia University with a Bachelor's in graphic design and taking on a job in her rightful field, Iris "Barbee" Bonner felt creatively stifled by the restraints and rules that are attached to the 9-5 life. With full faith in her path and the willingness to manifest her destiny, she knew a "normal" career path wasn't for her, and called her corporate lifestyle quits in pursuit of her passion. Later, Iris became known as the artist behind the vivacious brand, These Pink Lips.
These Pink Lips has been worn by a number of celebrities including but not limited to Mary J. Blige and Cardi B., whose large personalities complement the brand and their shared mission to empower women. As I walk the halls ready to enter this palace of pussy that I've stalked via Barbee's Instagram account, I'm almost immediately greeted by the provocative writing on the wall that screams, "pussy garden," confirming one thing, and one thing only: We. Had. Arrived.
The brand made its debut in 2012 at the Black Light District Showcase, but the concept was born long before then.
Iris told xoNecole that her artistry dates back all the way back to kindergarten. The young creative went on record in her 8th grade yearbook saying she would be fashion designer and artist, proving that even during childhood, she was hip to the power of manifestation. She later began sketching voluptuous women in skin-clad clothes who are otherwise hypersexualized by society, which would turn out to be the foundation for her business.
Some of the brand's mantras include: "Pussy not war," "pussy power," "goaldigger," and many more proclamations from the soft-spoken Bonner, which all aim to prove that our sexuality cannot be characterized by an outward appearance or persona. Through the brand, she hopes to evoke confidence in women and men alike without regard to societal rules.
Warned against naming her brand 'Pussy' during its inception, Iris displays the type of faith that affirms she would've been successful regardless of her company name.
Through the pursuit of her passion, one thing is undeniable: Iris has built a brand with her identity at its core and little regard to the opinion of naysayers or conformist.
She and her body of pussy prints march to the beat of their own drum.
Despite her normally reserved nature, having an edgy, provocative brand has helped nudge her extroverted side to the forefront a bit more as she navigates press, networking, and growing interest in her art and fashion. However, that doesn't stop people from drawing their own conclusions on who and what Iris and her work represents.
"People look at my work and they're like 'oh this girl is crazy.' And, I am ... a little bit, but you have to get to know me. I go out and people expect this 'AHH!' and I'll be like 'I'm still a little shy.'"
Being the only black woman in many places, Iris cites judgment as one of the most challenging parts of her work -- finding that, "People [are] judging or people [are] not really paying attention to the work. They're only looking at one word or one painting without knowing. I don't expect everyone to get it. I just let my work speak for itself."
"This art is supposed to be a way of me expressing myself, so if I'm not even able to express myself and do the things I like then what's the point?"
Certainly you, my fellow girl bosses, have heard "your vibe attracts your tribe" before and this seems to be a philosophy that Iris effortlessly lives by. This is only made more evident as she recalls the excitement she felt garnering celebrity attention, and the day Cardi B. chose These Pink Lips to pull her wardrobe from. She exclaims how perfect she feels the femme-c was and still is for a brand that shamelessly embodies feminism at its finest.
"It feels good, but most of those relationships happened so organically. Like, Cardi B. I think she's the perfect person for the brand."
Other notable entertainers being draped in pussy power include everyone from Amber Rose, Remy Ma, and Missy Elliot, to PINK!.
Despite the obvious excitement that comes with gaining celebrity attention, Iris modestly explains that while celebrity recognition is great, the "everyday people" who have been "rockin'" with her are equally appreciated and thrilling. She maintains a humbleness that is critical to maintaining momentum and success, yet a quality that is frequently M.I.A. as she thoughtfully acknowledges, "They really believe in me." And, that we do!
In addition to believing in the vision, the goal, and the brand, there's also so much we can take away from Iris Bonner and her ever-growing movement. The young creative had this message for budding girl bosses:
"Before Instagram, before any of that, I'm Iris and I would still be doing this. You gotta be passionate, original, and true to yourself."
Hold onto that with your faith in tact and a desire to manifest all that's yours and you shall receive it.
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- Iris Bonner's Favorite Things – Philadelphia Magazine ›
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- IRIS BARBEE BONNER (@thesepinklips) • Instagram photos and ... ›
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images