If you read the title of this and were like, “Damn sis, we’re not even officially into spring yet” — yes, you would be correct. Actually what inspired this piece has nothing to do with bikini weather but a conversation I was having with a woman about how she’s super subconscious about oral action with her boo and it’s mostly because she doesn’t like how her bikini line looks.
Our day-one readers and supporters know that we do our best to cover as many “It’s not talked about publicly, so let’s talk about it” topics as possible. Plus, in the spirit of wanting as many women as possible to enjoy cunnilingus fully (just sayin’) while also getting their line right for the summer season, here are 12 things that you can do yourself to get your bikini line exactly how you want it to be.
1. Buy Panties That Actually Fit
It’s wild how we’re always talking about how many women wear bras that don’t fit them properly (which is reportedly STILL holding at 80 percent; I know that I thought I was a DDD for years and I’m actually an H) yet it never seems to come up, just how many of us don’t want panties that fit as well as they should too.
Case in point, when I went for my latest waxing, I asked my waxer if a bump that I could feel right in the crease of one of my butt cheeks was an ingrown hair. She told me that it looked like a build-up of keratin from the elastic of my panties. She also said it happens often, especially if our panties are too tight or we sleep in them.
Welp, that is definitely a sign to keep sleeping naked (more on that later).
As far as knowing if your panties are too snug for your own good — if they leave marks; if they cause the skin around your hips to bulge out; if you’re getting wedgies often — you need to go up a size. For the sake of your bikini line and comfort, make sure that you do.
2. Exfoliate That Area
Ever since I’ve been going to either waxing or sugaring appointments, shaving is a thing of the past. However, my waxer (and when I go, sugar-er) tells me that I still need to exfoliate my bikini line after my appointment with her; then at least 3-4 times in between our next appointment. After the appointment, so that I can remove any tiny bits of wax that might be left behind that could potentially clog up my pores/hair follicles. In between appointments, in order to remove dead skin that could result in tiny bumps and ingrown hairs, if I’m not careful.
So, whether you are a shaver and need to do this in order to prep your skin for removing hair or you need to do it for the reasons I just said, make exfoliating your bikini line an absolute must. As far as what you should exfoliate with, a homemade sugar scrub like the ones YouTuber Whole Elise features in this video here should suit you just fine.
3. Attempt Some DIY Sugaring
Speaking of sugaring, I’m actually a big fan of it (I just go to my waxer more because she’s more…accurate in removing all of the hair that I want to get rid of than my particular sugar-er is; plus, sugaring is oftentimes more expensive). Since the paste is made up of (usually) nothing other than sugar, lemon juice, and water, it contains no chemicals. It’s easier to make at home. And, since sugaring “sticks” to the hair and dead skin cells alone, it tends to be less painful than waxing (and leaves less skin irritation). Finally, a real plus is, if you’re looking for a method that leads to permanent hair removal over time, sugaring is that one.
4. Never Shave Against the Grain
Back in my shaving days, no matter how much I heard that I wasn’t supposed to cut against the grain of how my hair naturally grew, I stayed being hard-headed because I liked how close the shave was whenever I did it that way. When it comes to my legs (because I still shave those), ingrown hairs have never been an issue — oh, but when it comes to my bikini line? Yeah, that was a hot ass mess.
So, even if you know this rule already, because it is one of the greatest causes of razor-related mayhem, it really is a good idea to remember the cut in the direction that your hair actually grows. Also, as far as your razor itself goes, believe it or not, you are supposed to replace it with another one no less than every seven shaves. So yeah, the one that’s been holding on for dear life in your shower? I’ve got a really strong feeling that it’s beyond time to give that up — stat.
5. Use Deodorant After Shaving
Hmm. Now here’s something that might be your “something new” for the day. Were you aware of the fact that deodorant can be an awesome addition to shaving your bikini line? How in the world does that work? Good question. The aluminum that’s in deodorant contains astringent, antibacterial, and anti-sweating properties. So, if you swipe some deodorant onto freshly-shaven skin, it can help to keep the bacteria from your razor and the irritation that your bikini line might experience down to a minimum.
6. Put Witch Hazel on Razor Burns or Razor Bumps
If there’s one thing that I think everyone should have at least two bottles of, it’s witch hazel. It’s cheap (you should be able to easily find a bottle for under five bucks). It’s easy to find (local drug and grocery stores carry it). And the skin benefits are totally off the charts! The properties in witch hazel are potent when it comes to reducing inflammation, soothing skin irritation, providing the top layers of your skin with antioxidants, and, thanks to the tannins that are in witch hazel, it can help to protect your skin from long-term surface-related damage too. All of this is why witch hazel is top-tier when it comes to using it as a skin astringent should you happen to notice any razor burns or razor bumps.
7. Soak in Some Apple Cider Vinegar Bathwater
Okay, so there are powerful antimicrobial properties in apple cider vinegar that make it ideal if you’re looking for a way to bring relief to irritated skin or to restore the pH balance of your skin. This is why apple cider vinegar bath soaks are ideal if you’re fighting a yeast infection and why it’s also ideal if you want to speed up the healing process of razor burns or bumps that are around your bikini line. As a bonus, apple cider vinegar serves as a pretty effective exfoliant that’s able to remove the dead skin that may be clogging up your hair follicles; this too can also keep razor bumps from forming.
All you need to do is fill up your bath with really warm (but not super-hot) water. Pour in two cups of apple cider vinegar and soak for 20-30 minutes. A word of caution, though — if you’re tempted to dab some onto a cotton ball and apply it directly to your skin, words cannot express the kind of stinging that you’re in for. Moral of the story: apple cider vinegar should ALWAYS be diluted before applying it.
8. Try Silicone Gel Sheets on Other Scars
If you’re not familiar with what a silicone gel sheet is, probably the best way to explain it is it’s an adhesive, made out of silicone, that you can apply directly to any scars that you have. Over time, the silicone will remove much of the irritation that’s associated with the scar as well as soften its appearance.
9. Add Onion Extract Gel to Keloid Scars
Something else that has been getting a lot of thumbs up lately, as far as scars are concerned, is onion extract gel. From what I’ve read and researched, the properties in onions help to kill bacteria, reduce inflammation and even lighten dark marks over time. All of this is why some experts say that it’s an effectively all-natural way to treat keloid scars if you’ve got any around your bikini line region.
For the record, it won’t happen overnight (some keloids can take years to fully heal, if they ever do at all) but it is something to keep in mind if you’d prefer to take a holistic approach to them.
10. Apply a Combo of Shea Butter and Tea Tree Oil Every Night
Whether you’re looking to heal razor bumps, even out the skin tone of your bikini line, or just keep that part of your body smooth and youthful-looking, I can personally vouch for the fact that a mixture of shea butter and tea tree oil will get you what you need.
The fatty acids, vitamins A, E, and F, antioxidants, and emollient (moisturizers that deeply hydrate your skin) properties of shea butter are great at soothing your skin as well as healing it and improving the appearance of your bikini line’s complexion.
As far as tea tree oil goes, the properties in it help to soothe inflammation (it’s pretty much an overnight solution for reducing the appearance of zits), kill bacteria, and help to heal dry skin and eczema-related symptoms.
I tend to mix a half teaspoon of shea butter with 1-2 drops of tea tree oil (a little goes a long way) and rub it on my bikini line. It’s been keeping it looking amazing ever since.
11. Get a Professional Vajacial
Even with all of the at-home tips that I provided, I ain’t gonna lie to you — there is nothing like having a professional tend to your lady parts and this includes treating it to a facial (which is commonly called a “vajacial”) about once a season.
Typically what happens with a vajacial is an esthetician will apply a cleanser that’s specifically made for that area of your body. Then they will deeply exfoliate, remove any ingrown hairs, apply a mask that will help to tighten up the pores, and do a treatment that will help to even out your skin tone. Sometimes, they may recommend a chemical peel too.
My two cents? Take a picture of “her” before a vajacial and then take another one after it’s been done. When I tell you that it’s damn near like a day and night difference? I am absolutely NOT exaggerating.
12. Sleep Naked
We touched on this earlier but just because repetition can always be beneficial for memory’s sake — please sleep naked. Not only will your nether regions be thankful for a break from the underwear that you have on for hours on end, but there are also a bunch of other health-related benefits that come from doing it too including a regulation of hormones, a stabilization of body temperature, and a reduction of stress.
Do all of this and you’ll be well on your way to a fabulous bikini line — whatever you, umm, want/need it for. #wink
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Featured image by Jon Feingersh Photography Inc./Getty Images
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at email@example.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
Featured image by Giphy