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Heal Your Feminine Energy To Reveal The Divine Being Within You
In westernized society, we have rejected so many aspects of the divine feminine and feminine energy. At this moment, women are being criminalized by their own reproductive system and women fighting for their rights are seen as vulgar, unattractive, and undesirable. We blame Jezebel without acknowledging Ahab's responsibility. The features of Black women are desirable, while actual Black women as a whole are given a hard time, and then people wonder why we are sometimes defensive. Women empowerment has been a marketable business for women who behave like mean girls in real life *sips tea*. But as you heal your feminine energy and accept your feminine power as an individual, you create healing all around you.
Everyone has divinity within them because we were made by the divine source, God.
Some of us walk in it, and some of us simply do not know how to. We try to suppress our feminine energy, thinking if we think like a man, we will get ahead in life, especially in dating; but the truth is God made women and men differently for a reason and it isn't punishment. Some of us don't really know how to honor our femininity, nonetheless, let it empower us and bring us together as Black women and embrace the fact that our femininity is unique.
We suppress our true selves and resist our true desires and measure our ability to endure pain as strength.
Despite the negativity we were taught about femininity throughout history, it actually represents abundance, growth, creativity, fertility, expansion, connection, flow, and joy. We never stop to think about the reason why the Earth is referred to as "Mother Earth" and nature as "Mother Nature", and here is a hint: it's not because she plays small. To truly unlock your power, keep reading.
How You Can Start Healing Your Wounded Feminine Energy
Identify where you are wounded because there is most likely a broken little girl inside of you.
This step is the hardest because you have to address when, how, and why you were wounded. For example, is your self-esteem wounded? If so, investigate how it got there. Were you teased by other girls because of your unique look, and now as an adult, you don't trust other women? In instances like these, or any example where other people are involved, remember that whatever pain or insecurities they incite are reflections of them, not you. Forgive them, let it go, and stop wounding yourself and others by carrying that burden with you. It's not yours to carry.
As a grown woman, you have just validated your pain while reworking your inner narrative to better serve your higher purpose. A lot of us are stuck in the heart of a little girl who may have been molested, raped, raised in an invalidating and strict household or one of neglect, etc and it shows. It is not your fault what happened to you but it's time to choose your beliefs because until you do, that little girl is going to keep on picking broken people to love, and repeating broken unhealthy patterns. Therapy, prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations do wonders at this point in the healing process.
Make taking care of yourself inside and out as essential as the air that you breathe.
Your self-care has to be as automatic as making your morning tea with a face mask on after prayer and reciting your affirmations. Your pores must ooze "I love me" and this is internal work, not external. You must eat as if you love yourself, talk as if you love yourself, love others as if you give a damn about yourself, and even if you lack in this area, you will start to vibrate higher. Love yours, all of yours, especially you in your natural state.
Make a conscious effort to find new ways to be comfortable in your skin. If you are a woman who depends on makeup and weaves to the point that you feel like a complete mess if you miss your hair appointment or leave the house bare-faced, learn how to love and take care of your hair the way it grows naturally out of your scalp and your skin without makeup. Letting your hair, your skin, and the rest of yourself breathe is essential for growth and healing. This is an act of resistance; you were divinely made and while society may want you to think you are missing something to sell you products, you have all that you need to be beautiful already Ms. Melanin. Let it pop sis!
Surround yourself with other women who have a high vibration, and other sources of feminine energy.
Hanging around dope women is how you recharge your feminine battery. The competition between women is because of the illusion of scarcity. The sooner you realize other women are not your competition, the better because we can all shine. Start surrounding yourself with women who you admire, who light up a room, and who are comfortable in their skin. When you see a woman who hates on other women and/or has little compassion for women but sings men's praise all day, pray for her and stay away from her, she is wounded.
Most of the negative feelings you may have about other women stem from a place where you are wounded and what you say about other women in malice speaks more about you than them.
Every bomb woman you run into is not going to be your friend, and that's okay. Every woman interprets their femininity differently and there is no use in policing them; instead embrace them and let them empower you to embrace yours. It helps to turn off the trap music on the way to work and listen to some female rappers/singers to help you connect with yourself. Don't you remember that vibe of making a playlist of your favorite music to listen to on your CD/cassette player? Get back to that place where you were belting out " Weak" by SWV, and vibing to "That's the Way Love Goes" by Janet Jackson and trying to repeat the tongue-twister in Missy Elliott's "Work It" while doing your cleaning in the house. Art by black women, including music and literature, were created while she was flexing her divine feminine energy in the form of creativity. Soak that up, she left it for you.
Make pleasure a core principle.
Close your eyes and masturbate to your imagination sometimes. Buy something made with your favorite textured fabric because you love how it feels against your skin. Stop by Lush or Whole Foods to splurge on some high-quality moisturizing soap. Cook a meal that is both rich and flavorful and healthy for you so you can close your eyes and really enjoy the taste. Pamper yourself at least once a week! Enjoy life and connect to your positive feelings and the glow will come from within. These types of activities help you connect back to your senses and feelings, which are some of your biggest assets.
Express yourself creatively.
This is major because as women we are natural creators, not only from the womb but from the mind. Fashion, cosmetics, hair, music, art, literature and many more forms of creativity help you express yourself and connect with others. If you usually rock your own hair, experiment with some extensions every now and then to create a new look. Add some pieces to your wardrobe that challenge your usual vibe. Be playful with your appearance sometimes! Dive back into a creative outlet that you enjoy, and you will see yourself looking to it as catharsis instead of letting frustration build inside of you. The great part is, the way you express yourself creatively most likely can convert into profit.
Abundance honey, abundance.
Learn how to get comfortable receiving.
Many of us have a hard time taking something as minute as a compliment, and then wonder why we aren't manifesting the way we want. We need to start not only being okay with receiving but to actually start expecting miracles in our lives. Women were built to receive! So many of us operate solely from our masculine energy out of necessity because we feel like we have to. In order to survive, some of us have to be aggressive, constantly on the move, highly analytical and logical.
Give yourself permission to lean back and surrender to this beautiful thing called life every once in a while because you have survived your worst days and it is time to thrive. It's time to restore balance. Get in touch with your God-given intuition and let it guide you sometimes because that's how you strengthen it. Learn how to surround yourself with people you can submit to. Be vulnerable every once in a while and show your underbelly so the people close to your heart will show you theirs.
By taking steps and educating yourself on feminine energy and how to heal yours, you will love yourself deeper, radiate love, and invite more divine masculine energy into your life. Let it flow, let it glow, and lastly thank God you're a woman!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
In Order To Evolve, I Had To Break Up With The Word 'Healing'
Looking Over My Life, I Realized I Need A Do-Over Of My Single Days
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Featured image by GIPHY
Originally published on August 18, 2019
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New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
These Tips Will Keep Foreplay From Becoming Boring AF (No Pun Intended)
As a writer, I happen to like quotes A LOT. When it comes to the topic of sex, specifically, there used to be a page on Twitter (it’s always gonna be Twitter to me, chile) calledKinky Quotes that I would enjoy checking out from time to time. The reason why is it was good forshowcasing content like “Foreplay. Don’t rush it. Enjoy it.”
INDEED.
Okay, but what if you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and although the foreplay is still pretty good, the real issue is that it’s also become a bit, well, boring? What do you do? First, don’t overthink it; you’re not in a position that is strange, rare, or anything to be overly concerned about. Second, there are a few things that you and your partner can do to bring a bit more spice back into the foreplay aspect of your sex life.
1. Build Up Anticipation
I’ve been working with long-term couples for a really long time now — and if there’s one thing that can tank the sex life of people who’ve been having sex for years, it’s not doing what builds up anticipation. At the end of the day, anticipation is all about giving your partner something to look forward to. Sexting does this. Sending your partner an email with a hotel reservation or some out-of-the-blue sexcation plans does this. Calling them to share something that you want to check off of your sex-themed bucket list does this.
Pretty much doing anything that lets them know that you want them to get into the headspace of getting super excited about what you have in store for them, on the sexual tip — that is some of the best foreplay that there is, y’all. So, when’s the last time that you gave your man a preview of what is to come? Hmm…
2. Get Creative with Your Nudity
Unfortunately, our culture can be so…imbalanced (let’s go with that word) when it comes to sex that many people think it’s impossible to engage in intimacy with someone for years (even decades) on end and still find it to be an absolutely wonderful and fulfilling experience. Meanwhile, there areplenty of studies to support that sex actually gets better, the longer that you are with someone (one study says that it’s around the 15-year mark when things really start to soar!). The thing that you should avoid is falling into a rut — being lazy about intimacy, looking crazy while going to bed (y’all know what I am talking about), and not “dressing up” the gift sometimes.
I can’t tell you how many husbands I have worked with who have told me that they never get tired of their wife’s body (like…ever); what they do get sick of is no lingerie or creativity when it comes to her “sexual presentation.” Date night with no drawers on. Watching television in a sheer baby doll get-up. Celebrating a goal that he’s reached with nothing but a bow on when you come to bed. You get what I mean, right? He chose you. He wants you. Get creative with your body when it comes to intimacy sometimes, though. That way, he’ll never see you coming (well…until…you know. LOL!).
3. Leave Touch Out of It (Initially)
While once reading an article on Bustle’s site about where the term “blow job” came from (it’s a semi-long explanation; you can check it outhere), there’s a sentence that says, “The roots of the term ‘blow job’ began a bit earlier than this, however — in the 17th century, to be exact, when to ‘blow’ meant to bring someone to orgasm.” One definition of blow speaks to what we do with our breath whether it’s whistling, breathing hard, or creating a steady stream of air out of our mouth.
If you do this on your partner’s erogenous zones, it can provide a very flirty yet arousing level of stimulation to where they will want you to touch them as soon as possible. Oh, and if you add some dirty words into the mix, they will damn near be ready to climax the moment even your finger touches their body. Hey, try it. I’m absolutely not exaggerating.
4. Kiss Everywhere…BUT the Mouth (Again, Initially)
Even though some people don’t like to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), the rest of us? We want it as much as possible! There isa scientific reason for why that is the case too. When you kiss someone (especially in the mouth), it releases feel-good and bonding hormones and chemicals including dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin; not to mention the fact that it can also help to reduce stress. And while kissing does feel absolutely amazing, remember that the focus here is to “pregame” stimulation.
So, if you really want to get your man riled up, avoid his mouth (at first) and even his penis and opt for turn-on spots instead.The wetness of your mouth, the softness of your lips, and the texture of your tongue along his neck, around his ears or gently grazing his back? Girl, I’m getting a little hot ‘n bothered just talking — well, writing — about it.
5. Stay Out of the Bed
If there are two things that couples can find themselves getting really lazy about (if they’re not careful), it’s when they have sex and where. As far as the “when” goes,although reportedly, guys tend to prefer it in the morning (I mean, morning wood…makes sense) and women do late at night, most couples will admit that there is usually a time when they have it the most (especially if they’ve got young children — check out “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids”) as a way of “meeting in the middle.” For example, if for you and your man,that’s 10 p.m. and it’s pretty much that way, every time, that can get to become boring, simply because no anticipation is necessary; you know what’s coming.
Same thing goes for always having sex in the bed. Even though it’s comfortable and accommodating to most sex positions, trying other places (at least for foreplay) can cultivate a feeling of newness and excitement. Whether it’s on the kitchen floor, in your car (when it’s in the garage), in the shower (check out “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better”), in your closet (some people really like the closeness of it) or, what appears to be most folks’ favorite spot,the living room sofa (go figure, chile) — get out of the bed sometimes. The bed is comfy, no doubt. It’s also predictable as hell.
6. Have a Foreplay Staycation
It honestly floors me, just how many married couples I know who either haven’t taken a romantic vacation in years or (what in the world?!) haven’t done it since their honeymoon. To that, I’ll just say this: there was once a study conducted of 2,000 couples. It was revealed that of those who felt like their relationship had lost its spark, 42 percent of them were able to get it back by spending some quality time together while taking a leisure trip (without the kids). To me, this makes all of the sense in the world because romantic vacations are designed to “get off of the grid” and focus, solely, on you and your partner’s needs.
So, if you are one of those couples who doesn’t have a trip, just for you and your man, on the docket for some time this year, here’s your sign that you need to figure something out — ASAP. And what if your money is tight? What should you do in the meantime? How about a foreplay staycation? Plan 24-48 hours where you and your man do nothing but kiss, lick, and touch without any penetration involved. Play sex games. Dance naked. Come up with (new) safe words. After a day or two of nothing but this, you will be ready to explode once it’s time to actually have sex with each other!
7. Play Your Own Version of “Hot, Warm, Cold”
Temperature play plays a solid role in sexual pleasure; that’s why I’ve written articles like “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom” for the platform. Anyway, aside from the fact thatit’s pretty damn hilarious that 69 degrees is the ideal room temperature for intimacy (umm, if you catch my drift), a big part of the reason why playing around with hot, warm, and cold temps is so effective is because your nerves respond,sometimes drastically so, to variations in them.
I mean, when you stop to consider that there are8,000 nerves in a clitoris and 4,000 in a penis, imagine what some ice would do during oral sex. Or, how about heating up a sex toy that’s made out of glass or metal in some boiling water, letting it cool just a bit, and running that up and down each other’s erogenous zones? If you do this while being blindfolded, there really is no telling where the peak levels of stimulation could take you!
8. Focus on Upping the Ante on Your Partner’s Stimulation (As They Do the Same for You)
I’ve already referenced the word “stimulation” a few times. To stimulate is “to rouse to action or effort, as by encouragement or pressure; incite.” Some synonyms include arouse, inspire, spark, activate, energize, enflame, support, urge — and motivate (cue Kelly Rowland’s song, "Motivation"). And so, keeping all of this in mind, when it comes to foreplay with your partner, how much effort do you put into stimulating him — into inspiring him, energizing him, motivating him…yes, sexually?
Something that I am a big-time believer of is, it’s hard to fall into a sexual rut, if the goal that BOTH PEOPLE have is to always outdo themselves, damn near every time that they come together. That said, how can you “out-inspire” him with your compliments? How can you “out-energize” him with a creative meal that’sfilled with aphrodisiacs? How can you “out-motivate” him with some new ideas that you’ve researched while you were at work?
When it comes to both foreplay and sex, “applying pressure” can be a ton of fun — when you see yourself as your own competition as far as taking your partner to new heights in the stimulation department.
9. Be Unpredictable
Unpredictable can go a lot of ways. In the context of what I’m referring to, I’m not talking about being fickle, erratic, and unreliable. Nah, what I mean is, be intentional about having a few tricks up your sleeve that your partner would never see coming.
An example of this comes from a song from a local legend here, Shannon Sanders (if you know, you know). He once wrote a song entitled “Interstate” and the intro starts off with him saying, “What you doin’? Not you. Didn’t think you were the type.” Yeah, you can read between the lines (or click on the hyperlink to the title) to get what he’s talking about yet I’m pretty sure that what made the experience, 50 times greater, is she did something that was outside of the norm. When it comes to foreplay and sex — that is typically the case. #wink
10. Switch the Energy Up
Foreplay can — and should — have different themes from time to time. One time, focus on being romantic (rose petals and toasting each other). Another time, lean into being kinky (where are your handcuffs and bondage rope?). Still, another time, discuss a fantasy that you each want to fulfill. Then play dress-up as you role play. Record (the audio) of yourselves having sex one day; then play it another day — during foreplay.
Spoon naked and talk about all of the things that you adore about each other’s bodies. Get some oral sex dice (like thesehere) and see where throwing the dice will take you. Y’all, energy is such a big part of foreplay and sex, and the more you master switching it up, the more you and your partner will look forward to coming — and cumming — together for years to come. No doubt about it, sis.
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