The bedroom can bore you quickly if you’re someone who lives for change and resents routine. However, new positions aren’t always the way to switch things up, especially because they’re typically unrealistic unless you have a certain level of flexibility and youth on your side. They simply aren’t for everybody. It literally becomes a case of “if it ain’t broke” because no one wants to be caught up in an episode of Sex Brought Me to the ER with broken genitals (penis, pubic bone, etc).
But the one thing you can switch up that makes a helluva difference is the location! As realtors say (I think) location, location, location. It makes all the difference. The same studio apartment in a better area will change your f*cking world. This is a much more simple fix to break up routine in the bedroom if you ask me! But, there are some things to keep in mind for sure. You want to make sure that you know the laws in your area or know that there’s a chance that getting caught could potentially lead to some cuffs (and not the fun ones). Personally, I hate researching so it’s just going to be a “YOLO” mindset.
The other thing is that you want to ensure that both you and your partner are relaxed and comfortable. With consideration of those two points above, I really tried to make a list that was realistic and yet still bold enough to shake things up.
Here are 8 places for you to try having sex that give the “any time, any place” vibes you’re looking for.
1. The Club
Though I only recommend having sex at a traditional club in a VIP section or the restroom (unless you can fathom a sneakier way to keep out of jail), I think either can still be just the right amount of adventure to spice things up. On the flip side, you can go to a swinger’s club in your area or out of town. While you may think this is a downgrade, it actually allows you to upgrade your experience as you’re able to take on voyeurs, and if you feel comfortable, add some extra hands to the body party.
2. Beach Cabana
It’s a bed, so let's start there! Additionally, you get the calmness of the water surrounding you, be it the pool, the ocean, or wherever. Just be sure to put something down because I know with little to no doubt that others have the same thought. With that in mind, I really don’t think they sanitize those things even remotely close enough.
3. Hood of Car
Not just any ol’ where in the car but specifically on the hood or even the roof of the car. You can pull off to a nice little park or a drive-in movie if your city is still fortunate enough to have one. But, the best part about the hood is that you’re not crammed into the back of the car like a Vienna sausage.
4. Balcony
Buck naked with a balcony view has become the new airplane bathroom fantasy. Honestly, I prefer it! Far more space and a much better view for those of us that are a) claustrophobic b) germaphobes or c) all of the above. If you’re at home, the view may not be as luxurious but you are able to add privacy panels to your balcony to make for a more private show. On vacation, where no one knows you, you may want to go crazy – show ‘em what you got!
5. Ferris Wheel
Hear me out! While the scene in Insecure really had me intrigued – you know the one where Issa and Nathan had sex on the Ferris wheel, in my experience the ride is far too quick for even the quickest of quickies. Now, if you can make that work, by all means, do your thing! But, I think oral sex on a Ferris wheel would be spectacular. Consider the Ferris wheel your foreplay.
6. The Office/Workspace
You don’t have to have a private office for this, just a lot of nerve! I, personally have tried this in an open workspace, and though my partner at the time couldn’t stay hard because he was too afraid of getting caught, I did get some good head out of the deal. Nevertheless, keep in mind that open spaces in offices do have cameras in use at times, so proceed with caution or get a private room in your office space.
7. Boat
Summer is near and here in some places, which means boats have been unparked! If you have access to a boat this seems like a 10 out of 10 experience no matter how you cut it – I really wouldn’t care if it were in a rowboat. Rock it.
8. Movie in a Park
On one of the cooler nights, bring out the blankets and find a space in the cut but still with a reasonable view of the movie because we’re setting the mood here! Unlike the regular movie theater, this allows for adventure and romance.
And if you’re into it, you can even add other elements such as role-play – meeting your partner at a bar with a planned scenario or impromptu. Either way, you’re fully prepared to go out into the world because it’s your oyster and your bedroom.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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