If you enjoy drinking tea, simply for the pleasure of doing so, there's no way around the fact that it's an absolute must that you have green tea in your tea collection. From a health standpoint, it's got some benefits that are nothing short of impressive. Off the cuff, green tea is able to fight off free radicals, improve brain function, burn fat, lower cancer risks, get rid of bad breath, help to prevent the risk of type 2 diabetes—whew—and that is just the tip of the iceberg!
I've been a fan—and consumer—of green tea for quite some time now. What I really like about it is, not only does this tea help to maintain my insides but, from a beauty standpoint, it is able to do some pretty impressive things for the outside of me as well. So, if you've got some green tea somewhere in your kitchen and you want to treat your skin (or hair) this weekend without spending a ton of cash, I've got 10 green tea beauty hacks that will have you glowing from head to toe—literally.
1. Acne Wash
Did you know that if you drink green tea 2-3 times a week, it can reduce the amount of sebum that your body produces which, in turn, can minimize your breakouts? Three other benefits that come from consuming the tea is it can reduce internal bodily inflammation, regulate your blood sugar levels and boost your immune system. At the same time, due to all of the antioxidants that are in green tea, it's also a super effective acne wash if you're looking for something natural that will cleanse your skin, dry out your pores and reduce the appearance of any pimples you might have. All you need to do is steep a green tea bag for 20 minutes, let it cool and then wash your face with the tea. You can also dip cotton balls into the tea and apply it directly onto your pimples, if you'd prefer.
2. Anti-Aging Serum
Something that green tea has a good amount of is Epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). It's a plant compound that has a pretty impressive resume when it comes to maintaining our health. EGCG reduces skin inflammation, helps to prevent heart and brain disease, and can assist with weight loss too.
Because EGCG also has the ability to reactivate dying skin cells (which ultimately can reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles and age spots), that's why it can be a great anti-aging remedy.
To get the most out of green tea in this way, it's probably best to turn it into a skin serum. One of the best recipes I've seen is found here.
3. Eye Treatment
Whether your eyes are puffy or you've got dark circles that you're trying to get to fade away, this is just one more way that green tea has your back. That's thanks to its combination of the antioxidants and caffeine that is able to reduce your inflammation and irritation. An easy way to use green tea in this case is to soak two tea bags in warm water (no need to boil them), gently squeeze the bags to remove any excess water and then place them directly onto both of your eyes. If you leave them there for 15 minutes, you should see results once you remove them.
4. Skin Exfoliant
To make the most powerful kind of green tea exfoliant, it's best to use dried green tea leaves. Mix a tablespoon of dried leaves with ½ cup of olive oil (it contains vitamins A, D, E, and K; it can also deeply moisturize your skin), two tablespoons of water, a teaspoon of honey (it balances bacteria) and three drops of lavender oil (it has antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties). After washing your face, apply the exfoliant and gently massage your face with it. Then rinse your skin with cool water. Your skin will feel soft and smooth.
5. Skin Toner
Is your skin naturally oily but you want to find a toner than has no alcohol in it? If so, green tea is the answer. The tannins that are naturally found in this tea makes it a powerful astringent. As a bonus, something else that tannins do is reduce the amount of sebum production that happens within your skin's pores. If you want to use green tea in this way, mix a half cup of cooled green tea with a tablespoon of witch hazel (it's also an astringent), a teaspoon of honey and three drops of tea tree oil (it contains anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties). Soak a cotton ball into the toner and rub the solution all over your face after you wash it. Do this once a day for the best results.
6. Acne Scar Lightener
If you've got surface or even stubborn acne scars, green tea extract is wonderful way to fade them. Something that antioxidants are able to do is brighten skin while fighting off free radicals at the same time. Plus, since green tea also deeply penetrates skin, it is able to soothe inflamed and damaged skin while it lightens up acne-related blemishes you might have. Steep two bags of green tea into a cup of water, along with two teaspoons of honey. Allow the solution to cool and then add two tablespoons of pure Aloe Vera gel. Let the mask sit on your freshly washed face for 20 minutes. Then rinse with cool water. Try and do this once a week for optimal results.
7. Hair Strengthener
Since green tea contains nutrients, antioxidants and phytochemicals (compounds that are found in plants), it makes total sense that it's also a tea that would be good for your hair.
And, since one of the vitamins that green tea contains a lot of is Vitamin B (which is a vitamin that strengthens hair roots and helps to prevent split ends), you can't go wrong by adding green tea to your hair care regimen.
Probably the best way to get the most out of green tea in this way is to put two teaspoons of green tea extract into your shampoo and wash your hair as normal. Noticeable results tend to occur within a couple of months.
8. Dandruff Remover
The root cause of dandruff is fungus and not dry skin. This means that the best way to combat dandruff is to apply a remedy that kills fungus while exfoliating the scalp and removing dead skin cells all at once. One way to accomplish this is to create a dandruff rinse out of green tea (it will exfoliate), lemon juice (it contains anti-fungal properties) and coconut oil (it's an anti-bacterial oil and a moisturizer too). If you put two tea bags, one lemon peel, a cup of water and one tablespoon of coconut oil into a small saucepan, let solution boil, steep for 10 minutes and then cool completely, you'll have an ideal hair rinse that will help to remove dandruff quickly and effectively. Apply the rinse after you shampoo your hair and before you condition it. Make sure to allow the rinse to sit on your scalp for 15 minutes in order to get the best results.
9. Skin Moisturizer
Something else that green tea happens to have in it is Vitamin E. The cool thing about this particular vitamin is it does everything from boost immunity and reduce UV skin damage to renew skin cells and deeply moisturize the skin. That's why green tea makes the list for being an effective moisturizer. If you combine two teaspoons of sweet almond oil (it improves skin tone), a teaspoon of rosewater (it maintains skin's pH balance) and a teaspoon of organic green tea powder, you've got the kind of moisturizer that will have your skin feeling super soft and smooth from head to toe.
10. Psoriasis Reliever
If you've got psoriasis and you're self-conscious about it, don't be. Reportedly, eight million Americans have this skin disorder that leads to symptoms like red scaly patches of skin, skin plaques, itching and burning around the skin patches, swollen joints and severely dry skin. If you have these symptoms, while it's important to get officially diagnosed by a medical professional, green tea is something that can help to make the symptoms more bearable. In fact, one study revealed that applying green tea extract can significantly reduce the psoriasis symptoms and heal the skin overall. Hmph. And you thought that green tea was only good for sipping on (wink).
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The Ugly Truth: Here's What Detox Teas Are Really Doing To Your Body
Here Are Some All-Natural Ways To Achieve Flawless Skin
10 Breakfast Foods That Are Good For Your Hair & Skin
Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 10 Best Herbal Teas For Wellness - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Aloe Vera Plant Uses & Benefits, Self-Care - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- All-Natural Fall Prep Beauty Hacks - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Best Teas For Beauty, Healthy Glowing Skin, Aging - xoNecole ›
RELATED
As I quickly ran down my “Christmas list” of desires, as I came towards the end and then looked him in the eyes (because we were walking), he calmly and simply said, “I can be that.” Chile…CHILE. It took me close to a year of discovering so many cryptic things about him for me to realize that there is a really big difference between what someone “can be” vs. who they actually are — and that oversharing can set you up for dating a character more than a genuine individual. Lesson learned. Lesson freakin’ learned.
I can’t lie, though — when I recently read about a current dating trend known as “floodlighting,” from my own personal experience, that’s probably the closest that I’ve ever come to it. I think it’s because, since I’m so open with damn near everyone and also, since my past pattern has mostly consisted of taking friendships into something more (as opposed to dating people who I barely know), I’ve never really taken the classic floodlighting approach to try and connect with someone else.
I do have clients who have, though — and the trend is concerning enough that I definitely thought that it was worth writing about; mostly as a PSA to not floodlight and also to be cautious if you sense that someone is currently in the process of trying to floodlight you.
And just what do I mean when I say that? Read on, sis. Read on.
Floodlighting. According to Author Brené Brown.
GiphyBest-selling author, podcaster, and professor Brené Brown is a pretty popular person. Since quotes are my thing, that’s probably how I “connect” with her most because I like things that she has been credited for saying like “Maybe stories are just data with a soul,” “The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it” and “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
And since self-reflection is such a big part of her platform, it didn’t really surprise me when I found out that she is actually credited for coming up with the term “floodlighting.” It would seem that in her audiobook, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections, and Courage, she stated this:
“Oversharing? Not vulnerability; I call it floodlighting. ... A lot of times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability, and here's why.
I'm scared to let you know that I just wrote this article and I'm under total fire for it and people are making fun of me and I'm feeling hurt — the same thing that I told someone in an intimate conversation. So what I do is I floodlight you with it — I don't know you very well or I'm in front of a big group, or it's a story that I haven't processed enough to be sharing with other people — and you immediately respond ‘hands up; push me away’ and I go, ‘See? No one cares about me. No one gives a s*** that I'm hurting. I knew it.'
It's how we protect ourselves from vulnerability. We just engage in a behavior that confirms our fear.”
If that was a bit challenging to follow, what Brené is basically saying is…well, you know how sometimes you will watch a post on social media by someone you don’t know, your first reaction is something like “Ugh. TMI.” and then you may actually say some form of that in their comment section? If others join in with your sentiment, the poster may follow up with a second video about that being why they don’t share their lives — it’s because people only take shots at them for doing so. Yeah, social media? Oh, there is PLENTY of floodlighting that goes on up in there, chile.
Okay, but what would be the strategy for floodlighting if it proves to be such a risky approach to connecting with other people? According to Brené, by sharing too much information about ourselves only to then receive some level of rejection for it — it’s kind of a “hurt you before you hurt me” kind of thing.
Meaning, “I’m not the best at cultivating intimacy and so, if I overshare and you pull back, I can make you be the ‘bad guy’ for rejecting me which makes all of this a test that you failed instead of my choosing to create an authentic connection and owning my part if things don’t end up working out.”
And yes, many people do this because, at the end of the day, they aren’t very comfortable with genuine intimacy. They also do it because they don’t really get that, when it comes to intimacy, another word should be the goal instead of vulnerability anyway.
I’ll explain.
It’s Important to Remember What Vulnerability Means
GiphyAsk pretty much any of my clients about what I think about the word “vulnerable” when it comes to marriage and they’ll tell you that I am not a fan. That’s because I lean into being pretty word-literal (as far as original definitions go) and I am aware that vulnerable means things like “capable of or susceptible to being attacked, damaged, or hurt,” “open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.”
And y’all, for the life of me, I don’t know why anyone would choose to vow to spend their lives with an individual who they would need to be vulnerable with because, if your partner is susceptible to damaging you or they leave you open to attack or temptation — does that sound healthy to you? Yeah, me neither.
So, what word do I prefer then? Dependent. And what’s so wild to me is the fact that our culture is so used to the word “vulnerable” that many, even when it comes to their close connections, are far more uncomfortable with the word “dependent” — and boy, ain’t that a damn shame. Dependent is all that I want to be with my intimate dynamics because that’s all about “relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc.” — and that is what you should do with your closest friends and definitely who you are in a romantic relationship with.
In fact, if the relationship is solid, it should be interdependent: “mutually dependent; depending on each other.” However, the thing to keep in mind with getting to the point where you can rely on someone is it takes time. While vulnerability, on some levels, can be rushed and semi-forced, dependency is an organic experience that occurs from life simply…happening.
Now keep all of this in mind as we explore how floodlighting reveals itself in a dating situation.
Floodlighting. When It Comes to Dating.
GiphyOnce I processed floodlighting, as far as dating is concerned, it actually made me think of people who have sex very quickly in the beginning of a relationship. I’m pretty sure that at least 70 percent of us know of someone who has raved about a person who they’ve only gone out on a couple of dates with. However, because they’ve already had sex with them and it was really good, suddenly, they believe that they’ve met the one.
Y’all, it truly can’t be said enough that “an oxytocin high” does not true intimacy make — oh, but because it feels amazing, it can have you out here thinking that something lasting and real has transpired when really, there hasn’t been enough moments shared or experiences had to know that for sure. However, since the sex was rushed, it can cause you to want to speed up the relationship too. It can tempt you to be like, “I mean, if we’re great in bed, surely we will be amazing in other rooms of the house too.” Floodlighting is a lot like this.
If you meet someone and you like the potential of what it could be, you might be tempted to want to, like Brené said in her book: OVERSHARE. It could be oversharing as it relates to some personal traumas that you’ve experienced. It could be oversharing as it relates to intimate details about your past relationships. It could be oversharing as it relates to your mistakes and flaws. It could be oversharing as it relates to your sex life. It could be oversharing as it relates to all of the expectations and demands (along with why) that you have.
The reason for doing this? It could be that you’re hoping the person will take it all in without any pushback which will cause you to believe that you both are immediately on the same page or it could be that you are attempting to fast-track the relationship by believing that if you share all of who you are during date one or two (or even four), they will do the same and — ding — an instant relationship.
See, more than anything else, floodlighting is a test. It’s a bit manipulative. It’s potentially stressful. And, more times than not, it ends up backfiring. And then, if it backfires, because it was a test, you can blame them for not rising up to the occasion.
Please tell me that you get how toxic this all is. For one thing, no one wants to be tested like this. Secondly, it’s unfair to expect someone to be “all in” with a person who they are just getting to know. Third, you have layers to you — all of us do — and it can be overwhelming for someone to be expected to learn, retain, and even accept all of the layers at once. Yeah, one thing that I like about the term floodlighting is it has the word “flood” in it. Water? We’re made up of mostly water, so of course, it’s good for us. Being flooded by water, though? That could harm or even destroy us.
In many ways, trying to force intimacy onto another person…it manifests in a similar way. Of course, you should share what makes you…you. A bit at a time, though, while letting time do its thing. Too much too soon is…exactly that.
How to Cultivate Healthy Intimacy in the Beginning Stages of a Relationship
GiphySo, what are some things that you can do to avoid being a floodlighter?
See your intel as privileged information.
Everything about you is special and special things should be earned. That said, as you get to know someone, OVER TIME, you’ll be able to see if they can be trusted with your thoughts, feelings and ultimately your heart — and no, that can’t happen on the first couple of dates. Y’all, it really can’t be said enough that instant chemistry doesn’t mean that intimacy should be expected to happen overnight.
In other words, just because you see the potential for something awesome with another person, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wait to see if the individual’s words and actions, consistently so, can complement the elation that you feel. Share a little. See how they respond. At another time, share a little bit more. See how they react. Rinse and repeat. Patiently and intentionally so.
Stop trying to pull stuff out of people.
There are all kinds of ways to be manipulating and controlling — and deciding that someone should move at your pace in a relationship is a way to be both things. In other words, not everyone is emotionally unavailable or immature simply because they don’t want to share every childhood experience or their relationship stories with you by date three.
No doubt, a lot of people self-sabotage something that could’ve been good because they were rushing someone to move outside of their comfort zone — knowing damn well that they would’ve had a problem with that if the shoe was on the other foot. Chill…what someone wants to tell you, they will. If they don’t? All you can — and should — do is decide if you want to move forward or not. That doesn’t require force on your part to come to that conclusion.
Nervousness is one thing. Being fearful is something else.
If the reason why you’re floodlighting is because you’re scared that people will not accept you or that they will abandon you, it really is best to put dating aside for a season and get into some therapy. Because, while being nervous about a potentially new relationship is completely understandable, being afraid of organic intimacy and then doing things that can hinder or prevent it is something completely different.
Put the tests away.
Listen, if you recall the tests that you took back in school, I have no clue why you’d want to put others through tests now that you’re a big-time adult. Tests are stressful, pressuring and sometimes, no matter how smart you are, you’re not going to perform well on them because you’re simply not a good test-taker (some of y’all will catch that later). There’s no need to “test” someone to see if they can take all of who you are. Again, time will reveal that on its own.
___
Personally, I think that floodlighting is so common that folks don’t even realize that they’re doing it or how problematic it actually is. Hopefully, this helps to shed some light.
Vulnerability tests? Uh-uh.
Seeing if someone can be depended on to care for you as you are? Relax. Time. Will. Reveal.
Now go on your date(s) and have fun. Damn. #winkLet’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images