

Your February Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Connection
February invites us to restore our hope for a better future for all of Earth's inhabitants. Over the weeks to come, your unique mission becomes all the more clear as well as the people you'll need to help you accomplish your vision. Even though the Rona has restricted the way we connect with others, we're being challenged to find innovative ways to maintain a sense of community and connection. Check out the horoscopes to see what's in store for your zodiac sign in the month ahead!
Aries
The month kicks off with Venus moving into Aquarius which has you wanting to spend some quality time with your friends. The New Moon on the 11th is a supportive time for collaborating with like-minded folks that are equally as passionate as changing the world for the better, just as you are. Be mindful of your triggers around the 17th, particularly when it comes to outdated patterns of relating to others. You're naturally competitive which can sometimes rear its ugly head in your relationships. There's enough room for everyone to shine.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces, you're invited to lay low in preparation for your birthday season. Once Mercury goes direct on the 20th, you're crystal clear about who is #TeamAries and who isn't. On the 25th, Venus enters Pisces, encouraging you to unplug from the chaos of the world to reconnect with Spirit to receive instructions for your steps in this next year around the Sun. You're making a big impact through your social media presence when Jupiter trines the North Node. Consider how you want to influence people that look up to you. February wraps up with a Full Moon helping you resolve bad habits that interfere with the lifestyle you want to experience.
Taurus
February is a busy month for you particularly surrounding your career development. With Venus and the New Moon in this part of your chart, you're encouraged to think beyond your material desires. How can you be of service to others through the work that you do? You have the ability to influence others in a major way so make sure you lead with integrity instead of force. Tensions may be high around the 17th as you try to find a middle ground between working your ass off and finding some time for you. Rome wasn't built overnight so take a break to avoid burnout. The Sun shifts into Pisces on the 18th, lighting up your social life. Make the extra effort to connect with others whether that be through social media or planning a girls' night.
On the 20th, Mercury goes direct, helping you clear up any miscommunications with an authority figure. If you've been wanting to talk about a promotion, the weeks ahead are more supportive of your efforts. When Venus shifts into Pisces, you're encouraged to dream a little more. What does your "Heaven on Earth" look like? It's time to invest in your talents when Jupiter meets up with the North Node. A possible shift in career is likely if you're out of alignment with your destiny. The month ends with a Full Moon encouraging you to explore a creative outlet to restore your peace of mind.
Gemini
The month ahead invites you to expand beyond your comfort zone with Venus transiting through Aquarius. When the planet of love meets up with the New Moon on the 11th, you're ready to commit to a path that will elevate your mind and spirit, making this a good time to go back to school, sign up for that workshop, or read up on a topic of interest. When Saturn squares Uranus on the 17th, be mindful of how others impose their truth upon you. As free-spirited as you are, you must learn to trust your path. There is no guru outside of you. When the Sun shifts into Pisces, do your best to stay grounded when it comes to your career goals. You've got some lofty goals. A little strategy and a whole lot of discipline will take you far.
Your ruling planet goes direct on the 20th, helping you move stuck travel plans forward. If you've been waiting on that visa or passport, it's on the way sooner than you think. On the 25th, Venus shifts into Pisces to miraculously clear up any stuck energy related to your career progression. Your faith is necessary in receiving creative solutions for any challenges you're facing. A much-needed shift in your life path could be up for review when Jupiter meets up with the North Node. By the end of the month, matters of home and family take precedence. Give yourself a chance to recharge so you can be more productive with your work.
Cancer
The beginning of the month is a bit more introspective for you as you sift through rigid thought patterns that are stifling your growth. When Venus and the New Moon meet up in Aquarius, there's a deep desire for freedom to express yourself uninhibitedly. It's time to come out of your shell, babe. Be mindful of inner conflict that you're feeling around the 17th. You've got some big dreams in mind but your inner critic may be louder than your faith. Try not to feed into any self-deprecating thoughts and get into your affirmations to create a more empowering narrative that will help you align with your goals. When the Sun shifts into Pisces, you may find it difficult to stay focused as you daydream about your next vacay.
Mercury Retrograde wraps up on the 20th, making it a good time to start planning for that international getaway. If you've recently applied for a loan or grant, you'll likely receive news about an approval in the weeks to come. On the 25th, Venus enters Pisces, inviting you to merge with the Divine. Spend time meditating, read your favorite spiritual books, or attend a workshop for developing your intuitive gifts. When Jupiter and the North Node meet up on the 26th, you are deeply tuned into your Higher Power which may provide you with instructions for you next steps through your dreams. The Full Moon at the end of the month invites you to get organized. You can't put off your to-do list any longer. Create a reward system for yourself to motivate you to follow through with your responsibilities.
Leo
Boundaries are your best friend this month. When Venus enters Aquarius, you're ready to get serious when it comes to matters of love. Get clear about your expectations and your vision so you don't waste time on someone who is all talk but no action. The New Moon on the 11th could have you starting a new business partnership. Triple check the terms of agreement since we're still navigating Mercury Retrograde. Frustrations may be at a high when Saturn squares Uranus on the 17th. If someone in the workplace has been a little too pushy with you, calmly assert yourself or step away from the situation to give yourself some breathing room.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces, it's time to get real about some emotional hang-ups that you've been avoiding. On the 20th, Mercury goes direct, granting you clarity on the direction that a commitment is going in. You'll have a chance to take this connection deeper when Venus shifts into Pisces on the 25th. If you desire more intimacy, you have to be willing to show someone all of you—not just the pretty, shiny parts that the world adores you for. A game-changing collaboration starts coming together around the 25th, helping you move closer towards your dreams and the end of the month affirms that when you let go of your insecurities, anything is possible.
Virgo
The beginning of the month invites you to get your practical affairs in order. Life has been hectic but try not to forget that self-care is just as integral to your routine as handling your tasks at work. The New Moon on the 11th is the perfect time to create a new routine that reflects a better work-life balance. You may be feeling restless around the 17th if you've been drowning in responsibility. If you're not able to take a vacay at the moment, create a vision board on Pinterest to kickstart the manifestation process.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces, your relationships take center stage. Reassess the balance of give and take in your partnerships and contractual agreements. On the 20th, Mercury finally goes direct, clearing up any confusion and disorganization in your life. When Venus shifts into Pisces on the 25th, it's important that you're seeing your relationships clearly and not just projecting your fantasy onto other people. You may find yourself making some changes in your career when Jupiter and the North Node meet up. Keep in mind that the work that you're doing now is simply a stepping stone to where you want to be. The month wraps up with a Full Moon in your sign, encouraging you to retire the martyrdom act and finally put yourself first.
Libra
The beginning of the month invites you to explore you to put your to-do list to the side to nurture your inner child. With Venus transiting through Aquarius, you're encouraged to explore your creativity. The New Moon on the 11th is a good time for starting a new hobby or project. When it comes to matters of love, you're looking to partner up with someone that you can make a difference in the world with. On the 17th, be mindful of how your fears stifle your creative expression. In more simple terms, stop overthinking it and allow the flow of inspiration to be channeled through you.
The Sun shifts into Pisces on the 18th, bringing your focus to your health and routines. Try to work in a little exercise routine while you binge watch your fave Netflix series. Once Mercury goes direct, you're more clear on where a casual relationship is headed. When Venus enters Pisces, you'll be challenged to stick to those lifestyle changes you're making. Aligning yourself with someone who shares a similar approach to life will keep you on track with your fitness goals. When Jupiter trines the North Node, your spirit is calling you to level up by embracing a leadership role. The Full Moon helps clear out past life energy that inhibits you from believing in your skills and abilities. Get into those affirmations to boost your confidence!
Scorpio
The first part of February invites you to tend to matters of family and home with Venus transiting through Aquarius. The New Moon on the 11th could have you considering your next move. Be mindful of signing a new lease or closing on a house until Mercury goes direct later this month. If you're on a tight deadline, triple check the terms of agreement. When Saturn squares off with Uranus, it could result in some tension in your living environment. A desire for freedom may clash with existing obligations whether it be your job or relationship.
When the Sun enters Pisces, exploring your creative side may be the break that you need from the monotony of your routine. On the 20th, Mercury goes direct, giving you the green light to renovate, relocate, or invest in property. The planet of love enters Pisces on the 25th, sweeping you right off your feet. Surrender to the magic of romance without getting caught up in the long-term. Around the 25th, you'll need to be flexible, particularly regarding shared resources with a partner. The two of you have the ability to be successful in whatever venture you set your sights on but it will require compromise. The month wraps up with a Full Moon reminding you just how important you are to your tribe.
Sagittarius
February kicks off with you focused on the mundane tasks on your to-do list. With Mercury Retrograde in this part of your chart, you may find yourself revisiting some unfinished business. When Venus and the New Moon meet up in this part of your chart, you're curious about a new topic of interest, making this a good time to take a course, buy some books, or do some research online. You may be conflicted around the 17th when Saturn squares off with Uranus. Life has gotten extremely busy lately, making it important for you sustain your work-life balance.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces, your focus is on family, home, and emotional security. This is a more sensitive time for you. Surround yourself with nurturing people and do your part in taking care of your beautiful heart. Mercury finally goes direct on the 20th, helping you get more clear about a message that you need to communicate to someone that has you fixated. On the 25th, Venus joins the Sun, inviting you to spend a little more time at home to rest and recharge. A relationship matter changes for the better when Jupiter trines the North Node. Miraculous turnarounds and breakthroughs reflect the fated nature of this connection. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon, offering you a chance to step into the limelight. Stay ready so you don't have to get ready!
Capricorn
Money matters are your priority in the beginning of the month but what's new with the boss b*tch of the zodiac? When Venus meets up with the New Moon on the 11th, be mindful of emotional spending. Put yourself on a strict budget to stay on track with your financial goals. A new opportunity could present itself around this time but keep in mind that Mercury is still retrograde. If you must accept this offer, triple check the contractual agreement before making a commitment. If you're feeling frustrated around the 17th, that's just your inner child throwing a tantrum. You can only work so much. Gift yourself the freedom of doing something just for fun.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces, handling your daily obligations is a little more difficult. Create a reward system for handling your business so you can stay focused. Mercury finally goes direct on the 20th, giving you the green light for a new job opportunity. On the 25th, Venus enters Pisces which has you feeling super romantic. Write some poetry or jam out to your favorite ballads to channel your feels. A change in your lifestyle or work is likely due to an "aha" moment you're having on the 26th. The month comes to a close with a Full Moon encouraging you to take a leap of faith to bring about the change you desire.
Aquarius
All eyes are on you with Venus transiting through your sign. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to plant the seeds for what you'd like to accomplish in the year ahead as you establish a new set of rules for how you want to live your life. On the 17th, Saturn squares off with Uranus which could have you feeling pulled between your needs and those of your family. When it comes down to it, choosing yourself is what's best for everyone involved. A growing need to create an identity separate from your family can no longer be ignored.
On the 18th, the Sun shifts into Pisces, bringing your focus to money, material assets, and your values. Miraculous financial breakthroughs are possible as well as deep healing related to self-esteem issues. Mercury finally goes direct on the 20th, lifting the fog of confusion and clearing your path of any delays. When Venus shifts into Pisces, be mindful of emotional spending habits. Although you're tapped into the abundance of the Universe, try not to abuse your power by being superficial. On the 26th, you're ready to tap into your creative potential. Stop over-identifying with the old you to embrace the upgraded version that wants to express itself. The month winds down with a Full Moon, helping you settle imbalances with your finances and within your closest relationships.
Pisces
The beginning of the month is more introspective for you with Venus transiting through Aquarius. As introverted as you already are, there will be an increased desire for privacy as you reconnect with your Higher Power for some spiritual medicine. The New Moon serves as a catalyst for phasing out old cycles and habits that you've been stuck in for quite some time (maybe even for lifetimes). Clear out your karma so you can enter into your new solar year light as a feather. If you're feeling overwhelmed around the 17th, schedule a little time in your day to do what you do best—daydream. You're not the biggest fan on the mundane tasks so it's important that you cultivate a little magic in your life on a daily basis.
When the Sun shifts into Pisces on the 18th, all eyes are on you in celebration of your birthday season. Your vitality is at its peak during this time of year so make the most of it. Mercury finally goes direct on the 20th, helping you make sense out of all of the spiritual downloads you've been receiving over the past few weeks. On the 25th, Venus shifts into your sign and the blessings are pouring in. This is also a supportive time for revamping your appearance to match the new and improved you. Your ancestors are surrounding you closer than ever when Jupiter trines the North Node. You can't hold back anymore. Your destiny is calling. The month closes with a Full Moon encouraging you to compromise within a significant partnership or choose to amicably part ways.
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The Unhealthy 'Unconscious Contracts' We Make With Our Parents (And How To Break Them)
I’m a quotes kind of girl. Unapologetically so. I think I like them so much because they’re a way of packing in a lot of wisdom and insight without giving an entire speech (or writing an entire article). And if there’s one quote that I know I use at least three times a week, it’s “Adulthood is surviving childhood.”
It’s not a good thing either because, basically, what the quote is saying is a lot of us experience so much trauma as children that many of our adult years are actually spent trying to figure out how to survive it all. In fact, I recently read a Guardian article entitled, “Survivors of childhood trauma often grow up believing they are unworthy,” which had a line in it that summarizes a lot of why I do what I do for a living: “Jane now understands that she was conditioned as a child to see toxic relationships as almost normal.” I’m here to reprogram a lot of counterproductive stuff that a lot of us don’t realize we are doing…as best as I possibly can.
And yes, believe it or not, a part of the reason why we get into then tolerate then endure the oftentimes pure suffering of unhealthy relationships with other people — personal and professional, romantic, platonic and familial — is due to something known as unconscious contracts. Boy, when I first learned about unconscious contracts and what they entail, it was like I had a new way of helping to free up so many people from their hamster wheels of dysfunction with other individuals.
Okay, but I’m getting a little ahead of myself. If you already feel drawn to or even triggered by the intro of this article alone, please set aside some time tonight or this weekend to dive into what it means to sign an unconscious contract, how it typically ends up working against you, and what you can do to change it ASAP.
What Is an Unconscious Contract?
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I like giving credit where credit's due, and when it comes to the entire concept of unconscious contracts, one of my instructors taught it to me. She said she learned it from a neuroscience educator by the name of Sarah Peyton.
The gist of an "unconscious contract" is it's an agreement that you made, oftentimes in order to get through living with your toxic parent (or parents), that ended up being an unhealthy habit or approach to dealing with other people as you grow and develop into adulthood (you can watch an intro video about it here that is pretty damn enlightening if I do say so myself).
According to Sarah and her findings, a lot of our full dependence on our parents (especially our mother since she's usually the primary caregiver), as far as communication goes, happens around four months of age and, without us even noticing it, we find ourselves figuring out what needs to be done in order to get along with them — even if it's ultimately to our detriment.
An article that dives deeper into all of this is "When Relationships Fall Apart: Conscious and Unconscious Agreements in Relationship." The authors speak on the fact that a conscious contract is an agreement where both parties know the commitment that they are getting into, while an unconscious contract is usually unspoken, although what transpires is one person decides to suppress their thoughts, feelings, and needs in order to make another person happy (or it at least makes getting along with them easier to do).
Now I'll already tell you that if you read this and thought, "Isn't that just compromising?" you just revealed that you are someone who definitely needs to continue on with this piece because, no, suppression is not compromise; suppression is you denying a part of who you are in order to keep the peace — or avoid abuse — and there is nothing compromising about that. It is destructive and definitely the kind of "unconscious contract" that you need to break…immediately if you can.
Before I break down how to do that, let's go a bit deeper into all of this.
How an Unconscious Contract Affected Your Childhood Development
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Last fall, Newsweek published an article entitled "Why Adult Children Are Cutting Off Their Parents More Than Ever." Now for the record, no parent is perfect, and since some people like to throw around words like "toxic" as if they are confetti, let's look into some signs that you definitely had a toxic parent as a child/teenager — and that you may still have one now:
- They didn't respect your privacy/boundaries
- They pressured you to agree with them even when you didn't
- They were harder on you than they were on other children (especially outside of the home)
- They found a way to make everything about them
- They wouldn't let you ask questions for clarity (and/or they lashed out when you did)
- They were controlling
- They didn't shield you from trauma (and they oftentimes caused it)
- They used religion to justify their toxic behavior
- They used you as a makeshift therapist/counselor (told you too much information)
- They were verbally and/or emotionally and/or physically and/or sexually abusive
- They were emotionally unpredictable
- They weren't supportive (or you felt like they were competing with you)
- They kept you walking on eggshells
- They deflected from taking accountability for their mistakes (or poor choices)
- They either used guilt or withheld love in order to get their way
If any of this resonated with you, yes, on some level, you are a survivor of a toxic parent — again, not an imperfect parent; more like someone who put you in a position where you dealt with some level of trauma on a consistent basis. And because it's a parent's job to help you to become a holistically healthy individual, when the opposite happens, it can stifle you on some level.
For instance, I grew up with parents who didn't know how to respect a boundary or take accountability if it hit them square in the face. I don't even have the time to get into how deep it all went. For now, I'll just give one example of how it played out in my adult years — recent ones. One parent was so toxic that they really should be in prison. Because they're not, they had the nerve to email me acting like they were doing me some favor by leaving me alone…like I had told them to do for almost two decades now, that they still had moments when they would disrespect the boundary. And where did they get my contact information? From the other parent. WILD. Not you out here enabling my abuser.
Boundaries are limits, and limits (when they are not used to weaponize or manipulate) are put into place to keep us safe. People who don't respect your boundaries are unsafe individuals.
When I think about how my boundaries were constantly being dishonored as I was growing up affected me all through those years. One way is I didn't know how to set healthy boundaries with other people. As a result, I had some of the most toxic female friendships known to man (no joke). Another result is I had a tendency to be controlling to certain other people too. Control is what was modeled to me (suffocatingly so), all the while being told that it was love, and so… that's what I thought it was.
I had written an "unconscious contract" with my parents that allowed them to railroad my space, my body, and my feelings. My needs were basically the "rent" that I had to pay to live in their home and have my basic material needs met. And so, I thought that's what relationships looked like — that I had to go above and beyond while overlooking what I deserved in order to keep people around, OR I had to control the narrative in some way as a way of expressing my "love" to them. And I lived just like this for many years.
How an Unconscious Contract Affects Your Relationships Now
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Before the end of the year is out, I'll be finishing my third book. One of the things that it's going to touch on is just how emotionally abusive one dynamic with a certain guy was. I'll give you an example. One time, I helped him put on an event. I got him the venue for free. I made the programs. I set up the slideshow. I ran the slideshow. He didn't pay me a dime. Because the venue was about an hour away and we left unbelievably late (in separate cars), I asked him if he would stay on the phone with me because I was sleepy. He yelled at me, told me that I needed to find someone else, and hung up. And the next day, what did I do? I texted him to make sure that he was okay. AMAZING. He never apologized, even when I brought it up. Instead, he deflected and justified his behavior. Also AMAZING.
In hindsight, I know this is the fallout from unconscious contracts that I had "signed" with my parents, several of them. Something in me thought that if I just loved that man enough, eventually, he would stop mistreating me. Yet, I know him well enough to know that he has his own unconscious contracts that need to be broken, so while I was over-giving, he was over-hustling. He also was being ungrateful and narcissistic (and narcissism is also oftentimes the result of a traumatic childhood; it's a cryptic way of protecting oneself). Yeah, because I still had some "live contracts" going on, folks were able to get away with all kinds of stuff.
I'll give you another example. I have a girlfriend who keeps picking materialistic and shallow women as friends (check out "7 Signs Your Friendship...Actually Isn't One"). Her mother was exactly that way. It's wearing her out now because she feels like all she has in common with her circle is shopping and, inconsequentially, debt. Yet, until I introduced the concept of unconscious contracts to her, she didn't realize that all she really had in common with her mom — and the only time her mom ever really spent quality time with her — was when money was involved (including her mom feeling entitled to her money in present time).
Again, adulthood is surviving childhood. So, take a moment and think about the list that I provided as it relates to whether or not you had a toxic parent. Where the points apply, ponder what your adult relationships look like these days. Where are there patterns? Where are there mirror reflections of the relationship that you had with your mother and/or father and/or caregiver? Where do you see the same kind of unhealthiness…even now?
When we're children, we are innocent and a blank slate. We rely on our parents to show us how we are to see ourselves, along with how we are to live out our lives. So yeah, without some serious inner work (and oftentimes therapy), the contracts that we became a part of as children will continue in our adult world — that is, until we break them.
What Can You Do to Break an Unconscious Contact
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I already know — this is some pretty heavy stuff (which is why I implied at the beginning that it's not exactly lunchtime reading). Yet you know how the saying goes, knowledge is power, and if you could relate to any of this, how freeing is it to get to some of the roots, to receive confirmation that you're not crazy (sis, you're not) and then be provided with tips on how to get up out of these, what seem like lifelong binding agreements, that are not serving you (and never really were)?
Okay, so now that you know what an unconscious contract is, how you found yourself being a part of one, and how much damage they ended up doing, what can be done to break the contract? Good question.
A PDF that I was given (via Sarah Peyton's site) is what my instructor shared with me. I have edited it a bit so that it can make a bit more sense (if this is your first time hearing about unconscious contracts):
Step 1. Determine what the contract initially was.
“I (your name), ________________ , solemnly swear to you (parent/caregiver),___________________
to (whatever the self-defeating behavior was) ________________________ in order to protect you/honor you/survive, no matter the cost to myself. “
Step 2. Was the vow heard? (In order to feel validated in this exercise, you should get someone you trust to serve as a representative to act as the parent/caregiver you are speaking to.)
“Parent or caregiver, did you hear this vow?”
“Parent or caregiver, do you like this vow?”
Step 3. Can the vow be released? If so, release it.
If yes, the representative says, “I release you from this vow and I revoke this contract.”
(If the vow cannot be released, like your parent lives with you and they are still doing the behavior, you may want to seek therapy to figure out what boundaries need to be set up, especially if your parent tends to go full gaslight or full denial whenever you bring trauma or their past mistakes up.)
Step 4. Create a blessing to break the unconscious contract.
The representative says, “And instead of this vow, I give you my blessing to...(create the blessing)”
In a perfect world, you could talk to your parent about all of this, and no representative would be needed — yet honestly if that were the case and your parent was truly self-aware, apologetic, and willing to make amends, they would probably approach you first about the harm that they caused. That's why a representative can be helpful. They are symbolic, and while you may never get this kind of release from your actual parent, the validation and affirmation that comes from the exercise may be enough for you to fast-track your way to healing and to feel stronger in saying "no," setting limits and requiring that your needs be met from your parents — and to offer up consequences when that is not the case.
This is an exercise that can reduce fear and stagnation so that you can start to get on with how to have healthier relationships with others moving forward.
The Benefits of Ending Unconscious Contracts…and Creating New Ones
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A wise man once said, "My word is my bond." That said, to tell you the truth, the only way that breaking an unconscious contract is going to work is if there is integrity behind your words. You need to identify them, vocally acknowledge them, and have your representative acknowledge you/them. You need to receive the blessing, and then, what I recommend is setting up a new contract — this time between you and yourself.
For instance, if your childhood unconscious contract was all about you walking on eggshells, the new contract needs to say something along the lines of, "I will no longer put my own feelings and needs aside whenever I feel bullied or even dismissed. My voice matters, especially when it comes to what directly affects me, so I will speak up when necessary." Whew. Can you see how empowering that is?
It can't be said enough that there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that at the age we are traumatized, oftentimes we remain right there emotionally until we heal — and healing can include breaking our unconscious contracts. Only, in my opinion, it's not enough to break one…you need to then replace it with another; otherwise, you could find yourself slipping back into what's familiar…even if you know it's not what's better/best for you.
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This really is something that I could go on for days about because it’s the kind of topic that is so freeing once people are able to apply it in their own world. For now, I’ll just say that contracts are binding agreements. Yet, the good thing about unconscious contracts is you can let yourself off of the hook, knowing that you, as an adult, now have the space to live as you wish. You don’t have to “go along to get along” in the midst of super crazy, super counterproductive, super toxic ways.
You can write new contracts — ones that will strengthen you, validate you, and give you the kind of life that YOU want to live. Not the one that your toxic parent(s) made you think you had to settle for.
So, what unconscious contracts are you going to break today?
What new ones are you going to put into motion?
There’s no time like the present to start fully living YOUR life.
Amen? Hallelujah. For real.
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