A couple of months ago, while having a conversation with one of the former virgins-now wives who happens to be featured in this article (who also happens to read a good amount of my content), something that she brought up is why don’t I mention virgins more in my content: “It’s not like we ain’t out here, Shellie,” she said — and she is exactly right.
Honestly, I didn’t have a real reason to give her because it’s not like I don’t know my fair share of them. Yeah, contrary to what social media wants folks to think, there are individuals who make it out of both high school and college without having sex (some, any form of sex, and some even well into their 20s and on) and really contrary to what social media says, research continues to share benefits that can come from waiting until marriage to copulate.
For instance, people who have only had sex with their spouse reportedly have a 45 percent greater chance of having a really stable marriage. Another study says that 71 percent of men who have only had one partner are very happy in their marriage as opposed to 65 percent of men who’ve had two or more partners. And still, another report has stated that women with 10 or more partners are most likely to divorce while women with only one partner are the least likely to.
It's another article for another time about why this all may be the case. For now, I just thought it was important to remind cyberspace that virgins are not obsolete (check out Newsweek’s “Number of Virgins in America Hits Record High” that came out just this past January) and there are some former virgins in this world who not only waited until their wedding night — but, for their own special reasons, are oh so very glad that they did.
Giphy1. Lynn. 28. Married for Three Years.
“I come from a generation of virgins and I’m proud of that. My mom was a virgin when she got married. So was my grandmother. I was raised that my body is a wedding present and so I’ve always seen myself that way. I’m officially out of my newlywed years and while it took about a year for me to really get the hang of things, I like that my husband is the only man that I’ve known. I don’t have anyone to compare him to. I’m not wondering if I’m missing out. He was a virgin too, so we’re not worried about mystery babies or incubated diseases. Sex is peaceful in my home. I’m glad that I waited.”
2. Adina. 35. Married for Eight Years.
“I’ll be real — I was a virgin on a technicality. I think a lot of virgins are because I didn’t have intercourse until marriage — but there was some oral action going on up in here for years. That’s just the truth! It’s not that I don’t think that oral sex is sex — I just liked that I could have the pleasure without worrying about pregnancy…and yes, not wanting to get pregnant is the main reason why I waited until marriage. I will say that giving my husband something that no other man had before did make the wedding night special — awkward, kind of uncomfortable and funny as hell at times but really special. I don’t regret it.”
Giphy3. Marie. 29. Married for Two Years.
“I didn’t plan on being a virgin until marriage. My goal was just to not give it up unless I loved someone — and that didn’t happen until my husband. When he found out that I was a virgin, he didn’t want to risk us dating, having sex, and breaking up. He said that it would have been on his conscience for the rest of his life. So…we waited. I didn’t expect that to make me love and trust him more but it did. If he could guard my heart while dating me, I’m sure he can protect me well now that we’re married. Waiting made me feel safer in my relationship. That is probably the best thing about it.”
4. Eliana. 30. Married for Six Years.
“People like to act like sex isn’t a big deal and that’s a damn lie. Anything that can give you a child or a disease that could end your life isn’t something that you should not care about. It’s not that I wasn’t curious or tempted or that there weren’t times when I didn’t come close, but so many of my friends had regrets about…not really the sex but who they chose to have sex with that I didn’t think it was worth the stress. I do think that if you are going to wait until your wedding night that you should find some wives to talk to because, baby, I was not prepared. I think that is a part of what marriage is about, though — having some things that you learn about, only with your spouse, knowing that it’s not a performance but an experience and since you’re married, you have all of the time in the world. There was a learning curve but we’ve got it down now, ma’am. Thank you very much.”
Giphy5. Krystal. 27. Married for Four Years.
“I’ve always thought it was weird that people think that virginity is only tied to religion. I’m agnostic and I was a virgin until I was 23 because I watched how the college years went for most of my friends and I decided to pass on STIs, unwanted pregnancies, and being caught up in guys who I didn’t see a future with. Life was easier for me not having sex and now I can enjoy my husband without the drama that my friends went through. You don’t need religion to use discernment.”
6. Michelle. 24. Married for One Year.
“I don’t know why people think that being a virgin means that you don’t think a lot about sex or have valid things to say about sex. For me, staying a virgin was hard but the reason was simple: I have a vivid imagination and I didn’t feel like having to think about what I should try or hold back from when it came time to do it. I know women who are like, ‘I’ll have sex with you but won’t suck your d-ck’ or ‘I’ll have sex with you but not in these positions.’ Girl, that man is in your body. What are all of these rules about? If your first time is something that you will never forget, I wanted mine to be no rules, no boundaries — we in this bitch! And that’s just how my wedding night was. I love him. He loves me. We’re gonna do whatever, whenever, however, for the rest of our lives. To me, that’s how sex should be.”
Giphy7. Francine. 33. Married for Four Years.
“I was too busy for sex. Call it strange but I just had too much on my plate. I think some people go to college and lose it because they didn’t have a real plan. College is something you do and so you go — and then you get distracted. That wasn’t me. I knew what I wanted to do, so, as fine as some of the men were, I wasn’t going to waste my time or my scholarship. Then, once I got my master’s, I was focused on getting a job and buying a house, so I didn’t do a lot of dating then either. I guess the universe didn’t want me out in these streets for too long because once I was ready to have a dating life, after three flop dates, thanks to a set-up, I met my husband, we dated for six months, and got married. It’s weird because I didn’t put much thought into being a virgin until my wedding night while I was living my life but now that you ask, I’m glad that I waited because, since I am such a planner, it’s nice that I don’t see sex as something that wrecked, ruined or even delayed all of the other things that I wanted to do. I never want to see sex as problematic. I think that waiting kept that from happening.”
8. Nya. 31. Married for Six Years.
“I’ll never forget you telling me about that husband who said that the thing that he loved the most about his wife’s body is he believed that when God made her, he had her in mind. When you told me that she wasn’t a Coke bottle shape, that made me feel like I didn’t need to change who I was while waiting for the right man. In all honesty, a part of the reason why I was a virgin for so long is because I had body image issues that I was dealing with. In college, I learned that men talk just as much as women when it comes to stuff like that and I didn’t want different guys ‘sizing me up.’ When I met my husband, he always made me feel not just like I was attractive but that my body was stunning to him — and that made me want to share myself with him. Honestly, the only reason why we waited until our wedding was because we were in a long-distance relationship and didn’t date for long, but it did feel good to know that he didn’t want to ‘test anything out’ before to make sure that he would be happy in that way. He was satisfied with me without sex and that made the wedding night pretty incredible."
Giphy9. Berry. 38. Married for 20 Years.
“It might be weird to hear that, although I was a virgin on my wedding night, I was also ‘abstinent’ when I dated my husband. What I’m saying is that no man had penetrated me before him, but I did mess around quite a bit with guys and it always made things messy — one way or another. When my husband came along, he wasn’t a virgin by any stretch, but he had been abstinent too for a few months. When we saw that this was going somewhere, we made the decision to not do anything sexual until we got engaged and then to not have actual sex until our wedding night. It gave us time to learn intimacy in other ways. It also helped out our relationship because we both travel for work. People think that you don’t need self-control sometimes after marriage and that’s just not true. Anyway, something that I respect about waiting is it ‘programmed’ me to see sex as something that is only for marriage — not due to religion but because I don’t know what intercourse is like without having a husband. I kinda like it.”
10. Chadae. 43. Married for 18 Years.
“It might sound crazy but one of my favorite celebrities has always been Lisa Bonet. I thought she was so pretty on The Cosby Show and I remembered watching a rerun of when Cliff asked her husband if they had sex before marriage and he said that Denise was a virgin on their wedding day. Even though a lot of my friends were having sex, something about that stood out to me — that you can be a beautiful woman, go on dates, have a full life and there doesn’t have to be sex on the table. I also liked how proud Cliff was as a father because, when my husband asked for permission to marry me, my dad didn’t ask if I was still a virgin, but I told him and my mom that I was and he teared up. He said it was because he wanted a man to value me enough to vow himself to me before I gave him my body — and he trusted my husband because he did. It might sound old-fashioned but some things that are ‘old-school’ prevent you from learning things the hard way.”
____
Two of my favorite married couples have been together for over 20 years and the thing that they have in common is both the husbands and wives were virgins on their wedding day. Something that one of the wives has told me is she likes that all she knows is her husband and something that one of the husbands has said is he’s never wondered if he’s missing out on anything because he’s never had anyone to compare his wife to. How sweet is that?
If you are a virgin who is reading this, all of these resolves can definitely provide you with some food for thought before making any decisions about what to do about your own sex life. Because while the power of your sexuality is certainly your choice, should you want to wait — not only should you not feel bad, embarrassed, or even hesitant about that, there are benefits that can come with making such a sober-minded decision.
Virgins still exist. And, like most things in life, virginity has its own rewards. Salute.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Viral Voices.
Content Creator Eni Popoola
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Eni Popoola
Her Handle: @enipopoola
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Eni Popoola is the visionary creative behind beautifully cinematic content that fuses fashion and feeling. We love her for proving that elegance and emotion can exist in every frame.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm not afraid to pivot and the best is still yet to come."
Content Creator Jessie Woo
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Jessie Woo
Her Handle: @thejessiewoo
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jessie Woo is joy personified, a multi-talented entertainer and fearless truth-teller. We celebrate her for using humor, music, and faith to create content that heals through laughter.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes. I’m a force — and that’s why I create my own lanes instead of waiting for one to open."
Media Personality, Founder and Host Kayla Nicole
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Kayla Nicole
Her Handle: @kaylanicole
Her Title: Media Personality; Founder, Tribe Therepē; Host, Welcome to the Pre-Game
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Nicole merges style, storytelling, and self-awareness like no other. We celebrate her for being the friend in our feeds who reminds us to show up fully, flaws, fire, and all.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē."
Creator and Entrepreneur Simi Muhumuza
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Simi Muhumuza
Her Handle: @simimoonlight
Her Title: Creator and Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Simi is a writer, and creative based in Brooklyn, NY. She focuses on style, lifestyle and wellness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I’m reaching even higher."
Creator Kiera Please
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Kiera Please
Her Handle: @kieraplease
Her Title: Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kiera Please is a creator, voice actress, and artist whose creativity knows no bounds. With her unique mix of style, cosplay, and storytelling, she’s built a global fan base that celebrates self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m just weird girl and I’ll just keep getting weirder."
Content Creator Zaynah Bear
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Zaynah Bear
Her Handle: @madame_zay
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Zaynah Bear is a social media content creator known for her cartoon-style comedic storytelling that blends humor with everyday relatability. Her unique approach to creating content builds strong audience connections and keeps her community coming back for more laughs.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm boldly Black and beautifully quirky, owning every shade of my uniqueness."
Social Media Consultant and Creative Candace Marie
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Candace Marie
Her Handle: @marie_mag_
Her Title: Social Media Consultant and Creative
Who's That It Girl: Candace Marie is a luxury social-media strategist and founder of Black In Corporate. A former Parsons professor, she’s worked with fashion powerhouses like PRADA and Victoria Beckham, helping shape a more inclusive industry.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m grounded in strategy & storytelling—and I’m creating pathways for the future of influence."
Model and Content Creator Quenlin Blackwell
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Quenlin Blackwell
Her Handle: @quenblackwell
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Quenlin Blackwell is digital dynamite, witty, unfiltered, and wildly creative. We celebrate her for turning chaos into comedy and self-expression into art that connects millions.
Content Creator and TV Host Kamie Crawford
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Kamie Crawford
Her Handle: @kamiecrawford
Her Title: Content Creator and TV Host
Who's That It Girl: Kamie Crawford’s presence is as commanding as her compassion. We love her for being a media personality who advocates for confidence, self-worth, and love rooted in realness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and I’ve had to heal parts of me to become her."
Author and Podcaster Sesali Bowen
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Sesali Bowen
Her Handle: @badfatblackgirl
Her Title: Author and Podcaster
Who's That It Girl: Sesali was born and raised on the Southside of Chicago and coined trap feminism. During her time as an entertainment writer for Refinery29 she was one of the architects of Unbothered, their sub brand for Black women. As a brand strategist and copywriter she’s worked with Netflix, Onyx Collective, and more.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I said it and I’m standing on it."
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Drea Nicole
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Drea Nicole
Her Handle: @dreanicoleee
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: As one-half of the hit podcast Pour Minds, Drea Nicole brings real talk with humor and heart. We celebrate her for creating spaces where women can laugh, learn, and live out loud.
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Lex P
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Lex P
Her Handle: @lex_p_
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: Lex P’s voice is bold, funny, and deeply authentic. We love her for turning the mic into a movement through Pour Minds, proving that humor and healing can thrive side by side.
Content Creator Jeannette Reyes
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Jeannette Reyes
Her Handle: @msnewslady
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jeannette Reyes, known online as @msnewslady, went from the newsroom to building her own media brand. She’s a creator, speaker, and author using her platform to help women show up confidently on and off camera.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I take up space and I make room for others."
Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics Akilah Releford
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Akilah Releford
Her Handle: @akilahreleford
Her Title: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics
Who's That It Girl: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics, Akilah merges skincare and sisterhood with intention. We celebrate her for turning DIY passion into a thriving brand rooted in empowerment and care.
Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert Kayla Greaves
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Kayla Greaves
Her Handle: @kaylaagreaves
Her Title: Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Greaves is a journalist and on-camera expert who’s spent more than a decade telling stories that matter. From interviewing icons like Naomi Campbell to consulting for major brands, she continues to redefine beauty and culture.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm bold and I make no qualms about it."
Digital Creator Lauren W.
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Lauren W.
Her Handle: @laurenthelolife
Her Title: Digital Creator, Lifestyle and Beauty
Who's That It Girl: Lauren W. brings a breath of honesty to lifestyle content. We celebrate her for creating digital spaces that feel like safe havens for self-discovery, growth, and grace.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I'll do it solo!"
Host of 'She's So Lucky' Podcast Les Alfred
Les Alfred
Her Handle: @lesalfred
Her Title: Host of She's So Lucky podcast
Who's That It Girl: Les Alfred is a media entrepreneur and cultural storyteller shaping the future of women-centered narratives. As the creator and host of She’s So Lucky (formerly Balanced Black Girl), an NAACP Image Award-nominated podcast, she has built a thriving media ecosystem that explores wellness and self-discovery through the lens of trail-blazing women.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm strong and I lead with softness."
Influencer, Rapper and Actress Aliyah's Interlude
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Aliyah's Interlude
Her Handle: @aliyahsinterlude
Her Title: Influencer, Rapper and Actress
Who's That It Girl: Aliyah's Interlude brings softness and soul to the internet’s boldest spaces. We honor her for creating artful, introspective content that reminds us to slow down, reflect, and dream louder.
Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator Clarke Peoples
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Clarke Peoples
Her Handle: @clarkepeoples
Her Title: Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator
Who's That It Girl: Clarke Peoples creates content that feels like a warm conversation. We love her for her authenticity and for showing that influence grounded in truth never goes out of style.
Model and Content Creator Kamrin White
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Kamrin White
Her Handle: @kamrinwhite
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Kamrin White for transforming her lifestyle lens into something real and radiant. A proud Afro-Latina creator and entrepreneur, she weaves wellness, fashion, and authenticity into her content, inviting her audience to live boldly and vulnerably in their own stories.
Lifestyle and Beauty Creator Jayla Brenae
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Jayla Brenae
Her Handle: @jaylabrenae
Her Title: Lifestyle and Beauty Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jayla Brenae inspires through her transparency and storytelling. We honor her for blending wellness, confidence, and community into content that uplifts and empowers women of all walks.
Journalist and Content Creator Casey Winbush
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Casey Winbush
Her Handle: @caseywinbush
Her Title: Journalist and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: With humor and heart, Casey Winbush is the voice of digital relatability. We celebrate her for blending vulnerability with wit, turning everyday stories into shared laughter and healing.
Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME Kendra Austin
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Kendra Austin
Her Handle: @kendramorous
Her Title: Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME
Who's That It Girl: Kendra Austin is poetry in motion, writer, model, and muse. We honor her for redefining softness as strength and for giving women permission to rest, feel, and reclaim joy.
Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur Shema Love
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Shema Love
Her Handle: @shemalove
Her Title: Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Shema Love is a Brooklyn-based artist and designer turning art into healing. Her bold visuals and apparel celebrate Black joy, creativity, and self-expression, featured by Vogue, Nike, Netflix, and the WNBA.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I save lives and art saved me."
Content Creator Kristine Thompson
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Kristine Thompson
Her Handle: @mskristine
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kristine Thompson is a fashion and lifestyle creator passionate about redefining style standards for plus-size women. Through her platforms, she shares inspiring fashion, beauty, and travel content that empowers her community to feel confident at any size.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I celebrate style and I challenge the idea that beauty comes in one size."
Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator Crystal Nicole
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Crystal Nicole
Her Handle: @iamcrystalnicolee
Her Title: Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator
Who's That It Girl: Crystal Nicole’s storytelling moves between vulnerability and victory. We honor her for her ability to inspire others to be unapologetically themselves despite the pressures of social media and for crafting narratives that empower women to rewrite their own anthems.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff