When it comes to the fashion world, there's no denying the direct influence and contribution of Black women.
Although recognition and credit tend to go unsaid, the simple truth is: Black women are the blueprint. As the tides shift within the industry, the true measure of sustainable progress will be weighed by how well the new class of designers and emerging brands are embraced and amplified. However, it's important to note that this isn't a request for permission: this is an announcement. Black designers aren't waiting for a chance for their stories to be told, they're letting their brands speak for themselves. And if you truly want to know where the future of fashion is headed, you must first tap into the rising voices who are creating history today.
Meet Sadé Lewis and Shaniya Charles, the design duo behind the self-titled fashion and lifestyle brand, Sadé + Shaniya. When the two Brooklynites met in their high school English class, their bond was formed over their shared interest in extracurricular activities, like Modeling Club and their desire to dissect the ambiguity of the industry they aspired to break into. As Sadé shares, "I feel like we align on things that we didn't like about the fashion industry and how it real mysterious and superficial, as well as not really seeing people that looked like us at the forefront."
Shaniya Charles, left. Sadé Lewis, right.
Photo Credit: Pia Fergus
As graduates of the prestigious Fashion Institute of Technology, FIT, the pair have been able to combine their talents beyond the textbooks, weaving their story into the fabric of their take on accessible high fashion and ready-to-wear pieces. Drawing inspiration from their personal journey, Black culture, and womanhood, the complex and nuanced experience that Black women share serves as a natural muse for everything they put their hands to.
Their signature design, the Mora Bag, tells a story of the duality of Black womanhood that serves as a stylish and metaphorical reminder to pack light and be light. "The color palettes that we looking into were [colors] that would trigger us to be soft and more vulnerable. There's always the notion that the Black woman is hard, she's strong, and she can do all these things. And she can, but she also has to step into the power of being vulnerable, being open, and being able to feel like you can release," Shaniya shares.
When the innovation of two Black women joins forces, there's no limit to the possibilities that they can unleash. Luckily, xoNecole has a front-row seat to the beginning stages of these dynamic designers, destined to dominate the fashion world on their own terms.
xoNecole: As Black women, sometimes we don't always have control over our narratives. With storytelling being such a huge part of you all’s design process, how does Black womanhood play the role of muse for you two?
Sadé Lewis: The origin of our collections, everything is based off a real story or feeling. For example, The Looking Glass [collection] was very much about looking yourself in the mirror and seeing this multifaceted person. You don't have to fit into one version of yourself, or one version of what people think you should be, you are many things. So that was our individual journey during that time. Literally, accepting us being women who can be everything at once, you know? It definitely always comes from something that we're going through. We don't try to pressure ourselves to create timing. It just comes when it comes. And yeah, it's always from within us, navigating our own lives, then figuring out how can we make a physical manifestation of how we feel.
Shaniya Charles: We also grab inspiration from the woman that we talk to, the people that we deal with on an everyday basis, and the majority of them are Black women. We try to make sure that we're telling their stories as well. Although it's our narrative, we want to make sure that our consumers are connecting to what we're putting out and feel or see themselves in what we are creating.
Sadé Lewis: As Black women, we want to be safe, we want to be able to control our narratives and our lives. This brand for us isn't just popularity. It's so we can have the freedom to be our absolute selves and create how we want to create, tell our story how we want to tell our story, and live how we want to live - and be an avenue for other people to do the same. The overall goal is to be able to support other women and other creatives in their endeavors.
"As Black women, we want to be safe, we want to be able to control our narratives and our lives. This brand for us isn't just popularity. It's so we can have the freedom to be our absolute selves and create how we want to create, tell our story how we want to tell our story, and live how we want to live - and be an avenue for other people to do the same. The overall goal is to be able to support other women and other creatives in their endeavors."
Photo Credit: Pia Fergus
Let’s get into your short film which premiered on the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA)! That was you all’s first short film too. What was the inspiration behind the 'Green Eyes'' story?
Shaniya: First and foremost, we both love Erykah Badu! Green Eyes is one of our favorite songs. Sadé was listening to the song in the shower. And she came out and she was like, "I have an idea. We're going to create a visual fashion show based on this!" From there, we just started planning out what we wanted the story to be, the garments we would create for it, and how that would be an introduction to our actual collection that was coming up. We partnered with a Black woman to create the film; we wanted to make sure that although it's our story, that the people involved in it were also authentic and Black.
Sadé: That shower moment was literally me listening to the song. It almost felt like I was in a trance. There's no visual for that song, so it was just me envisioning alone and in a way pleading to this man. When it comes to communication between a man and a woman, sometimes it's just not there. We have egos and pride. The story that Erykah was telling was a matter of pride. It's not time to put your pride out there when you really feel this is your person. This is your soulmate, but your pride is literally ruining everything.
It was really cool to work with the director, Kyra Andrews. She has a theme about her work where she does love stories and Black romance shorts. It was really cool to tell her about our ideas and how we connect to the song and see how she could visually support that the film. It was very hands-on for all of us, even the actors in the film. We did it in one day, in the middle of a snowstorm, but it was really fun. Seeing the end result was like, wow.
As two Black women and emerging designers, I’m sure there have been obstacles that you’ve had to overcome through your trajectory. What are some of the challenges that you all experienced starting out?
Sadé: This is an industry that in all honesty, a lot of the cultural, creative, and artistic design aspects do come from Black people - we are at the forefront of a lot of those things. It's also hard as women to be respected and to be taken seriously. I don't know when those challenges will ever end for our people. So when things get hard and we might feel like our message is not getting across or things didn't perform as well as we want it to, we do have each other to remind us why we're here and that we're in it for the long run; we're not in it to be a quick trend.
You both have been friends for over a decade. How has it been working together while maintaining your friendship? How do you all make it work?
Shaniya: Our communication has always been at the forefront. From high school, we've always been very honest with each other. We make sure that we are each others' open and safe space. Even if something's bothering me, or something's bothering her, we try our best to communicate that. And I think the communication aspect and comfortability that we both have in each other allows us to explore different avenues of friendship and business partnership.
Sadé: We don't really have much of a system in place because I know it's important to separate business from friendship; it's not much a strict structure. But I think the both of us know when it's time to talk business and just time to just be friends. We have a good sense of understanding each other's needs. Just having that grace for each other and knowing when to read the room.
"I think the both of us know when it's time to talk business and just time to just be friends. We have a good sense of understanding each other's needs. Just having that grace for each other and knowing when to read the room."
Photo Credit: Pia Fergus
The whole “networking across” concept that Issa Rae famously coined has really become a collective mindset for many creatives. For those who are looking for their creative partner-in-crime, what are some tips that you would give to finding one successfully?
Sadé: I would say, be open and honest about your needs. I think a lot of times when people are doing something creative, or looking for a service, they go to Google and type in, "Photographers. NYC." And it's like, you might know someone from your high school or your college who's into photography. I think we have to have more of a mindset of working together. If we all came together with our respective interests, we could be so powerful.
It's not necessarily always about looking up to these big names. Because a lot of the time, they're not going to have the same respect. Or uphold your ideas and your project to the same reverence as someone who is grinding just like you. And then you'll learn who you can really build with. Just be open to the people around you and what they can offer.
Shaniya: Be authentic to who you are. It's a lot of pressure and there's a lot coming at you at once in terms of being creative, but I feel like you should just be authentic to who you are. If you like photography or design, you'll align with the people that you're supposed to align with. We have so much pressure around us now from social media and a whole bunch of different outlets saying, you should do this, you should do that. But just be authentic and true to who you are as a person. And whatever is supposed to align with you and the people that you are supposed to meet will come your way and those relationships will foster and grow to be what you need them to be.
"It's not necessarily always about looking up to these big names. Because a lot of the time, they're not going to have the same respect. Or uphold your ideas and your project to the same reverence as someone who is grinding just like you. And then you'll learn who you can really build with. Just be open to the people around you and what they can offer."
Photo Credit: Pia Fergus
It’s really encouraging to hear that you all are able to lean on each other through the ups and the downs of your journey. Is there anything that you all tell each other to keep each other motivated?
Sadé: We have these little moments where we'll just go to each other and we'll be like, "Girl, you the sh*t." Or, "Wow, you really my best friend, you a bad b*tch." Stuff like that. Also, because we put a lot of storytelling and meaning behind our collection, we use that to align ourselves. This work comes from a place within.
It's always from a place based on the story that we're telling and our experiences together. I feel like that is our anchor; reminding each other that you're creating from a real place. And also, we both come from the fashion industry. We studied it in college and we also work in it. It's like, you really know what you're doing. Just trust yourself and keep going.
To stay connected to Shaniya and Sadé's upcoming collection, and cop a Mora Bag of your own, click here.
Featured image courtesy of Sadé + Shaniya
RELATED
I’ve got to admit that before I actually researched the term, I thought, “Good Lord. As if we need something else to encourage entitlement, selfishness, and unrealistic expectations.” Oh, but after I dived in, I realized that not only is prioridating something that I can get behind, it’s something that I think works for what happens outside of the house — and inside of the bedroom as well.
If you’re curious about what I mean, take a few moments out of your day to see why prioridating is something that you should consider doing if you’re looking for a genuine romantic connection with someone else (again, both in and out of the bedroom).
What Does It Mean to Prioritize Something or Someone?
GiphyI’m pretty sure it’s fairly easy to see that the root of the made-up word “prioridating” is prioritize — and in a moment, I’ll get into why it’s an essential thing to consider when it comes to romantic relationships. First, though, let’s talk about what it truly means to prioritize something or someone in your life.
Personally, whenever I think about the word “prioritize,” the first thing that comes to my mind is a quote that I used to have featured in one of my email accounts: “Boundaries are what you say 'no' to. Priorities are what you say 'yes' to.” An author by the name of Nick Chellsen once said that and it’s fitting here because, at the end of the day, a priority is simply something that is very important to you to the point where it tends to take precedence over something else; it’s something that you will agree to doing because it means just that much.
Unfortunately, a lot of people actually suck at prioritizing because they don’t really put much thought into what is more essential than other things on a day-to-day basis. For instance, if you want to better prioritize your time, each evening, you should think about the things that need to be done the following day. Then, after doing that, be honest with yourself about what needs your immediate attention vs. what can wait until after those tasks are done. Like, if you’ve got a deadline at work, I’m pretty sure that scrolling through Instagram can wait.
Or how about your budget? It really does seem like right after we pay one month’s mortgage or rent, here comes another. Meanwhile, those shoes that you really want? I mean, is it more important to keep a roof over your head or to adorn your feet with a new pair of pumps? Don’t go by how you feel; go by the actual facts.
And to me, that’s why I think that the word “sacrifice” fits in really well with the word “prioritize.” I say that because, one of the best definitions that I’ve ever heard when it comes to making sacrifices is that it’s all about “giving up something good for something greater.” You see, when it comes to prioritizing things, when it comes to determining what you should say “yes” or “no” to, sometimes it will require you to assess what is better than what is just merely good.
And boy, is that not quite the layup (if I do say so myself — LOL) for what prioridating is truly all about.
What Is Prioridating, Exactly?
Why Prioridating Is Something to Literally Prioritize in Your Romantic Relationships
GiphyOkay, so keeping in line with the whole quote-thing, when I think about prioritizing as it relates to dating, there is a Maya Angelou quote that fits in oh so very well: “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” In other words, don’t allow someone to take precedence when it comes to your schedule, heart, or energy when they aren’t even considering doing the same thing when it comes to you. And how do you know for sure when you aren’t someone’s priority?
Well, an author by the name of Irini Zoica once said, “Being someone’s ‘sometimes’ is not enough” — and when you are only an option (which is basically being one person on a list of several other choices) in another person’s eyes, that’s typically how it plays out; you are their “sometimes”…maybe.
Now, to be fair, when a relationship is just starting out, everyone really does need to relax — and by “relax,” I mean be hella realistic. And what I mean by that is, just because someone may find you attractive or appealing after an initial meeting and a few conversations, that doesn’t automatically mean that you should expect or even require immediate or automatic exclusivity (which, in dating, I prefer over the word “monogamy” — check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”) or that you even should take up most of their day with lots of calls and texts.
Yeah, one day I’m gonna write about how so many women claim to want a “high value man” without really thinking about how many priorities those guys have throughout the day in order to be one (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”). At the same time, though, when you’re wanting to see if someone’s words can be trusted, look at their actions because, if they are telling you that they want to get to know you better, that they are interested in seeing where things will go and that they really want to spend more time with you — they will most definitely, without question, prioritize it. Because it is important to them to do so.
Okay, but is that what prioridating means? Eh, not quite. The backstory of the term is that a relationship coach (who also contributes to the dating app eHarmony) by the name of Laurel House came up with something that reminds people of the benefits that come from dating with a purpose in mind (as opposed to casual dating, which is the literal opposite approach).
Come to think of it, according to her, it even goes beyond that; prioridating is about assessing what your most important need is in a relationship and then choosing to date someone who checks that particular box.
When I checked out Lauren’s PrioriDating site, there is something else that she said (beyond some of the interviews that I also read) about what prioridating is: It’s “about you — your life, your experience of life, based on your perspective, created by your past experiences, that shaped who you are and what you need moving forward...Once you define and align with your priority, you have a better chance at discovering and fulfilling your needs—first (and most importantly) within yourself and then within a partner. Win-win-win.”
Now let’s piece all of this together. If you’re someone who is truly interested in prioridating, you first need to reflect and ponder over who you are, currently, as an individual. Then you need to figure out what YOU need (I’d personally say what your top three needs are) when it comes to dating and then commit to yourself that you aren’t going to waver from those needs — that you are going to prioritize those above all else because they are what’s most important to you…they are what takes precedence above everything else when it comes to making you feel relationally satisfied, safe and heard.
What all of this (hopefully) does when it comes to dating is help you to be more intentional about who you choose to spend time with. Not only that but, since you are clear about what your essential needs are, the moment that you articulate them, give the person time to process them and then see those going unmet, you can have a better understanding about how to move forward — if you are to move forward with that particular individual at all.
And if you are to move without them, you can feel good about your decision because, by prioritizing your own needs, you prioritize yourself and, in doing that, you tend to be more focused than ever on finding someone who will do the same thing for you…as you do for them. And where reciprocity is, fulfillment follows.
How Prioridating Can Seriously Improve Your Sex Life As Well
GiphyAs I thought about prioridating and what it requires in romantic connections, it caused me to think about how that mindset can — and should — transfer into the bedroom. And that brings me to one more quote on priorities; one that, interestingly enough, comes from a religious leader by the name of Dallin H. Oaks once said, “Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.”
Desire. We all have sexual desires. Thing is, when it comes to what desire means, it’s not black and white. A desire can be something that you want. A desire can be something that you crave. A desire can be something that you request. Some synonyms for desire include lust, passion, and, yes, need. For the sake of the (main) point that I want to make here, let’s go with “request” and “need.”
Okay, so Mr. Oaks said that desires dictate our priorities, and we already discussed that a priority is something that is important, essential…something that we need. If you connect this to the rest of the quote, what we need determines our choices, and our choices then determine our actions.
Since “need” also means desire, when it comes to sex, what do you need? Here, please don’t confuse this with what you want because, although that too is relevant, the reality is that wants can change at the drop of a dime; however, core needs? They oftentimes are rooted in who we are as individuals — and to be honest, I have worked with enough couples for a long enough amount of time to come to the conclusion that, the reason why a lot of people’s sex lives go left is because folks are too caught up in wants instead of needs.
Here's what I mean by that — say that you need to be held after sex because it makes you feel comforted and adored, while you want spontaneity. No one is saying that you should have to give up one for the other YET if you really need to be held close and that doesn’t happen, can you see how, after a while, all of the random sex in the world will still cause you to feel resentful because your true needs aren’t being met? I’ll give you another example: something that husbands say to me often is that they need their wives to initiate more; it actually makes them feel wanted and like they aren’t having to beg for intimacy. Some may want longer fellatio or a dirtier talker; however, if they can get that need met, the wants semi pale in comparison.
It makes sense too, because needs are a lot like the meal, while wants are the dessert. Dessert is delicious, yet when we’re already filled up from dinner, sometimes we can take or leave dessert. On the other hand, when all we had was dessert, it usually feels like something is…missing. And it is because you didn’t get what you actually needed.
Thing is, when it comes to sex, people rarely think about what they actually need — and that’s why I thought that the whole prioridating thing was a great tie-in because, just like you should think about what you need and hold yourself to that standard while you are dating, you should also strongly consider what your true sexual needs are (also a top three thing), MAKE YOUR REQUESTS KNOWN, and not waver on those either.
Because when a partner truly cares about you and your pleasure, your needs are going to matter. Yes, your wants will too, yet those needs? Those will be prioritized every time coitus transpires — and when someone feels like their sexual needs are super important to someone else? How can that not lead to true sexual satisfaction and fulfillment (especially when reciprocity is taking place)…because as the quote goes: priorities/needs determine choices and choices determine actions.
Have a need, choose to prioritize the need, and then…act upon it. Prioridate as you mate.
____
Dating trends. Lord knows there are tons of them — some good, some ho-hum. Prioridating is something that I can get behind, though. Because anything that encourages you to act with purpose and intention and to make needs essential — good comes from that. Outside of the bedroom and in.
Prioridate, mutually, as you mate. It truly can’t be said enough, y’all.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy