While we wait out this whole corona-thing, I'm doing my part to save the world by social distancing with my snacky snacks and catching up on Insecure's season 4. So far we're only two episodes into the long-awaited new season and Issa has already found herself in a situation.
awkward issa rae GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
Here's the rundown, filled with spoilers if you're already not caught up…
Issa unknowingly befriended Lawrence's new girlfriend, Condola and they started working closely together. Eventually, they realized that Issa's ex bae and Condola's new bae are the same bae, but they forge on with their work friendship sans the initial awkwardness. After addressing the elephant in the room aka cracking a few light-hearted jokes about Lawrence, it now seems like the two ladies may be forming a real friendship. Issa even goes as far to say, "I LOVE Condola!"
SN: Issa's bestie Molly made it clear that she thinks their "friendship" is a very bad idea.
Like I said, a situation. Since the relationship themes in the cult-show reflect our real-lives (you know, outside of quarantine) all too well, I wondered how I would handle this, well, situation. I hold my female friendships near and dear. Lucky for me, I tend to befriend folks easily, and often approach possible friendship matches like a pro Pokémon player—gotta catch 'em all. So, I'd try my best to not let a little thing like a guy get in the way. After all, one woman's ex is another woman's husband. But not all exes are the same. There's one very important factor to remember here: Issa and Lawrence were together for FIVE YEARS.
They lived together, experienced growth together and were (maybe still are) in love with each other. I was in a roller coaster of a relationship for seven years, and while I may have never accidentally befriended my ex's girlfriend, I would not knowingly venture down that road for sanity's sake. Put in Issa's shoes, I would keep the working relationship with Condola since it seems to be going well, but keep it moving in the other direction when it came to anything personal. I don't need a constant reminder of a relationship I said "thank you, next" to and unfortunately my new gal pal is too deeply intertwined with someone who was meant to stay in my past.
But that's just me! I avoid anything that has even the potential of drama to develop. However, I love to watch the messiness play out on-screen and will definitely pull up seat to hear juicy real-life tales that mimic Issa's. So, I reached out to Insecure fans to ask them:
Could you be friends with your ex's new bae?
"I’m Mature Enough To Handle It"
"I would def be friends with my ex's new bae. I think once you are a woman of a particular age, we don't have time for the childish games. Adults should be able to get along, be cordial and especially get money. My motto would be money over everything because the men will come and go. Also, he is an ex for a reason so sis HAVE AT HIM! That connection could be a divine one and letting ego and pettiness get in the way could burn the bridge. At the end of the day this all boils down to maturity. How mature are you to handle this? And as for me I believe I'm mature enough to handle it." –LaToya Newton, 40, TheAnalogGirl.com
"Don't Force It."
"If I meet a smart, kind woman and we get along, I consider that a win. If I come to find out she's my old bae's new bae, I still would be friendly, but the extent of our friendship will differ based on my comfort and friendship level with old bae. Sometimes relationships end and that's OK, but I don't want to be forced to hang out with someone I no longer want in my life." –Brittiany Cierra, 33, Founder, Cur8ted Media
"Possibly. Maybe. But I Need Boundaries."
"I guess it depends on how the relationship ended. If it was an amicable break-up, then I would consider, but there would be boundaries on how we conduct our friendship." –Kateri Fischer, On-Air Scheduling Coordinator
"We Could Be Friends. I Just Doubt We Would Be Friends."
"I could definitely be friends with my ex's new girlfriend. I haven't met an ex that I want back yet. Maybe some love lost, but never any hate gained. I honestly do come out of every relationship feeling as though I gave it my best, so I have zero regrets and few reservations in the end.
"Now, realistically, could my ex be friends with me? Let alone, could his new girl be friends with me? Doubt it. It's as simple as this. While I may have far fewer desire to have that old thang back, I can't say the same for all of my exes. That's not to boast or brag, that's just my truth. But I've noticed that, while I have a bit more control over my feelings (or lack thereof) post-breakup, that hasn't always been the case for my exes.
"With that said, there are way too many emotional factors on all ends to consider. The chances of everyone being on the same page, are slim to none." –Soraya "Sojo," Digital Director + Personality
"God Is Still Working On Me."
"I've never had a situation like this happen to me (thank God), but I'm pretty sure I would not be able to befriend my ex's new boo. Especially, if the ex and I were together for a significant amount of time (like Issa and Lawrence were). Truthfully, I'd have a hard-enough time getting to a place where l was cool with my ex again, so the new boo is a no-go. Kudos to the folks that are mature enough to handle something like this, because I most certainly am not. God is still working on me. (Laughs)" – Tiffany, 29, Fine Artist
"It Would Never Go Beyond A Surface Relationship."
"Honestly speaking, a friendship with my ex's new girlfriend would never be something I could start. The friendship wouldn't be genuine because I wouldn't want to discuss her relationship and she wouldn't feel comfortable confiding in me like she would with a friend. It would be a surface relationship, and those aren't worth even having if you can avoid them." –Kim C., 30, Marketing Manager
"Not Accepting Additional Soul Ties."
"...another woman's treasure right! (Laughs) I couldn't be friends. However, I would be super cordial. If I found out she was dating my ex like Issa did, I would make it work for the duration of the project; especially if she's a sweet person. However, my ex is my ex for a reason, and I don't need any additional soul ties." –Marie Lewis, Social Media Manager
"Wondering About Their Pillow Talk Would Drive Me Crazy."
"For me, it's a no. Not that we couldn't be cordial, but I don't want to consume my life with wondering what is being talked about during their pillow talk. Who wants to build a relationship with someone whose bae has a playbook to your love life? Just saying." –Tweety E., 20-Something, Writer
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Featured image via Insecure/HBO
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Pattern is my daily go-to, so when Tracee expanded into body, I wanted to see if the same love affair I have with Pattern Beauty would carry over to Pattern Body.
The last body care launch that truly spoke to me was Taraji P. Henson’s Body by TPH, with its distinct daytime and nighttime routines—it pulled me into body care in a way I hadn’t felt in a while. Another product I’ve loved is OUI the People’s Clean Slate Lactic Acid Body Wash, a formula that exfoliates gently while leaving my skin soft.
Pattern Body feels similarly intentional but distinctly Tracee—rooted in the rituals we’ve seen her share for years. This launch feels like her way of ensuring that our bodies can finally get the same level of care she’s modeled all along.
Courtesy of Pattern Body
My Relationship With Body Care Rituals
Body care is where I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be when it comes to self-care. I dry brush daily, I’m particular about the body washes I use, and I’m intentional about organic feminine products. But when it comes to moisturizing, I’ll be honest: I usually just slap on whatever lotion is nearby or a body butter when I remember. What I want is to be more intentional—not just moisturize, but actually lean into rituals.
I want to use my bath salts more, soak with scrubs, and treat body care as something to luxuriate in, not rush through. Pattern Body felt like a call inward to take that next step.
Even the bold orange packaging felt joyful and unapologetic—a reminder that prioritizing yourself can be fun.
The Ingredients That Set Pattern Body Apart
Pattern Body isn’t just about the ritual—it’s about what’s inside the bottles. When I connected with someone from Pattern’s team, I asked how they envisioned the body line fitting into Tracee’s larger ritual. For them, it wasn’t just about moisture; it was about creating a layering experience that mirrors the way Tracee cares for herself daily—step by step, from exfoliation to oil to cream.
The line is built with nourishing ingredients that make sense for long-term care, like:
- Dead Sea Salt — natural exfoliation and mineral-rich polish
- Aloe Vera — hydration and soothing
- Baobab and Sunflower Oils — deep moisture and skin barrier support
- Cedarwood, Musk, and Midnight Amber — warm, grounding fragrance notes
- Shea Butter & Hyaluronic Acid — for softness, bounce, and lasting hydration
And according to a third-party study shared by Pattern, 100% of users experienced an immediate boost in hydration, luminosity, and the silkiness of their skin texture. As someone who always asks questions before folding new products into my routine, seeing both the story and the science behind the line mattered to me.
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I followed Tracee’s recommended Pattern Body ritual:
- Prepare Dry Exfoliating Body Scrub (pre-shower to buff away dullness, unclog pores, and smooth skin)
- Cleanse Moisturizing Body Wash (a gentle lather that cleans without stripping, leaving skin refreshed)
- Protect Nourishing Body Oil (applied on damp skin to lock in moisture and add a silky finish)
- Hydrate Hydrating Body Lotion (lightweight hydration layered on top of oil for all-over softness)
- Nourish Moisture Rich Body Cream (thick, buttery cream for elbows, knees, and areas needing extra TLC)
The Products I’d Actually Repurchase
I tried the full line, but these are the three I’d keep stocked and repurchase:
- Dry Exfoliating Scrub — I’ve been looking for an exfoliant that’s effective without being harsh; I could see the scrub being a regular for me.
- Nourishing Body Oil — I love how it sealed the moisture in post-shower. It’s lightweight, smells heavenly, and I’ll keep this one in the rotation for sure.
- Moisture Rich Body Cream — I prefer a thicker moisturizer over lotion; this one delivers deep, buttery hydration that actually sinks in.
Pattern Body is consistent with Tracee’s legacy of care: bold, joyful, intentional. And while I won’t reach for every product daily, the ones I do remind me that tending to my body isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Because if Tracee Ellis Ross looks this good at 50 and says something is good for your body? I’m taking notes.
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Featured image courtesy of Pattern Body