I've heard people talk about Spanx. I've also read articles explaining that shapewear is the key to slimming and perfect looks we see on the red carpet, yet I still wasn't moved to purchase a pair. But, a little pink sequin dress from Zara changed that. When I opened the brown box and took the dress out, I thought, "There's no way I can fit into this." I gave it a try sans shapewear and saw my belly poking out. Since I was going to an event where the invite requested we wear pink and I hadn't ordered a backup, I went to Amazon and ordered Robert Matthew Women's Shapewear High-Waist Shapers.
The black shorts came the next day. I tried them on with my dress, and the rest is history. Shapewear changed the entire fit of the dress and gave me the confidence to wear it to a beauty launch party (where I got many compliments). Mission accomplished.
I am now a shapewear stan.
Shapewear isn't an item you only wear for special occasions. You can wear it daily to help smooth places you might not be fond of. For me, that's my stomach. Thanks to my fibroids, I seem to always have a bit of bulge which I'm learning to love and accept. If you're a first time shapewear-wearer, buying online might present a challenge. I was lucky my choice fit perfectly. I looked at a lot of reviews to try to make sure I was purchasing the right size, which was extremely helpful.
Here, I've added items you can buy online and in-store at local retailers like Nordstrom, Macy's, and Neiman Marcus. I have always had good experiences being fitted for bras at these stores, so I'd imagine shapewear would be similar.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
Best Shapewear Options For Women
HoneyLove SuperPower Brief
HoneyLove
Having a brief that can be worn with everything from denim to dresses will help you get the most bang for your buck. HoneyLove says their shapewear won't move even if you're bending or reaching which is important for comfort. What I also like about this brand is their sizing goes up to a 3x.
Robert Matthew Brilliance High-Waist Shaper Panty
Amazon
This was the brand I went for at the 11th hour, and it came through. One thing I will note is that it didn't stay put, which wasn't really an issue for me since my dress was so short. But, if I were wearing a midi dress, I probably would have found the rolling of the fabric on my thighs to be a bit annoying, but for $20 and not having to leave my house, that issue was minor.
Yummie Cooling FX® High Waist Shaping Thong
Sometimes briefs just won't cut it, and you have to wear a thong no matter how uncomfortable they are. Made with Lightweight NILIT® Breeze material, this body-shaping thong will keep you cool, too.
Leonisa Power Body Shaper with Thighs Slimmer and Side Zippers
A jumpsuit option is versatile and would be worth splurging on. Leonisa's shaper sculpts the waist, butt, and thighs. I'd imagine you're wondering how on earth would you be able to take a restroom break in this, well they thought of everything because the suit has side zippers. Talk about a high achiever.
Secret Fit Shaping Panty
I couldn't leave the mamas-to-be off this list. This Motherhood Maternity find has over three hundred reviews and a 4.5-star rating. Reviewers said they help prevent their thighs from rubbing together and "it smoothed out some problem areas and was supportive."
TC Shapewear Sheer Bodybriefer Strapless Shaping Bodysuit
Neiman Marcus
The strapless dress always presents the issue finding the right bra to hold the girls up and keep them in. Well, this strapless shaper does double duty, by giving the bust a push-up and support with underwire while smoothing the waist, tummy, and back.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
