10 Candles That Radiate The Calming Vibes We Deserve
2020 will high-key be its own history book but it has also provided many opportunities to be more still, intentional and truly value time and healing. I don't know about you but as a Cancer and an empath, self-care manifests as lighting candles. My relationship with myself has never been more important. I owe it to myself to give the same compassionate energy to Joce as I do to my loved ones.
Finding candles that radiate self-love is one way to do that. As the seasons change, we want to be prepared for Seasonal Affective Disorder and general happiness. We have found that creating rituals and including candles makes for positive effects on your mood. Take a look at some uplifting scents that will empower you to devote more time to yourself!
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
Ryan Porter Candle - Calm Down
Urban Outfitters
With scents that range from watermelon and champagne, to floral and teak, Ryan Porter offers a collection of pink 100 percent soy wax candles that come in sleek glasses with labels that feature bold lettering where attitude and ambience meet. This one in particular is the "Girl, You Need To Calm The F Down" candle and features Japanese cherry blossom and teak scents. The candle itself is as calming as it is aesthetically pleasing.
P.F. Candle Co. Amber Jar 12 oz Soy Candle - Amber + Moss
P.F. Candle Co.
With calming woodsy musk, sage, lavender, amber, and citrus notes, you are sure to feel elevated and rejuvenated after adding this candle to your self-care ritual. Be it daily or weekly, we believe you'll feel centered after burning this candle and setting your intentions.
ScentualGoddess Handmade Intention Candle - SELF CARE
ScentualGoddess/Etsy
What better way to practice self-care than with a candle that has affirmations plastered on top? It reads:
- I tune into my soul and ask what I need to feel nourished
- I treat myself with love, kindness and compassion
- I set healthy boundaries
- I allow myself to rest and rejuvenate for my well-being
Madewell - Rosewood Cassis Candle
Madewell
Speaking of intentions, lighting up this Madewell best-seller might just be what the universe ordered. The soy candle has the reminiscent indulgence of "a sunny afternoon in a French garden" with notes of rose, pear, green ivy, and cassis lulling you into instant calm. Let the pampering begin!
True North Navigation - RENEW Candle
True North Navigation/Etsy
Remember when Whitley Gilbert taught us how to "relax, relate, release"? Now it's time to Refresh, Renew and Revive. The eucalyptus refreshes your mood, the bamboo renews your mind, and the peppermint revives your body. Best of all, you can save the planet by reusing the tin as a jewelry holder or office supply container. Each candle in the collection costs $9.
Cancelled Plans Candle - Student Loans
Urban Outfitters
Looking to immerse yourself in calm and peaceful vibes? Cop this candle! A soothing blend of apricot wax and coconut wax, this relatable candle by Cancelled Plans is the perfect addition to your self-care day. Bask in the luxurious aroma of vanilla, citrus, coconut, sea salt, cardamom, dark musk, and plum.
Uncommon Goods - Sunday Morning Candle
Uncommon Goods
If you're looking for a lazy Sunday with a wick, prepare to burn some inner zen in your life with the help of this Sunday Morning Candle. The handmade vegetable wax candle consists of floral and fruity notes like pear, amber woods, bergamot, gardenia, and jasmine.
WildflowerByAna Aromatherapy Candle - Tranquility
WildflowerByAna/Etsy
Burn one of these for bath time or meditation or just because you feel like it. Created to invigorate feelings of tranquility with the help of its hypnotic blend of lavender, clary sage, and lemon, this candle is perfect for aromatherapy. WildflowerByAna also offers an array of other candles that meet additional desires like Focus, Motivation, Sensuality, and Happiness.
Crate and Barrel - Empower Scented Candle
Crate and Barrel
With their Empower scented candle, Crate and Barrel has managed to craft a fragrant masterpiece. The candle, made of essential oils and soy wax, has notes of orange, grapefruit, sage, lavender, oak moss, and amber. The fruity, sweet-smelling candle is the perfect way to bring in calming vibes. Plus, for every purchase, Crate and Barrel makes a $10 donation to VOW to End Child Marriage.
The Spa Girl Life - Glow From Within Inspiration Candle with Two Citrine Crystals
The Spa Girl Life
If you haven't noticed yet, candles and crystals go together like peanut butter and jelly. The Spa Girl Life designed the Glow From Within Candle to help you release anger with the soothing scents of ylang-ylang flower and the power of the citrine crystal. The woes of the world may have you down, in order for you to take care of you, you need to release it back into the universe. Try saying this mantra when igniting the flame, "I allow the fire within me to shine brightly, I happily and easily continue on my path."
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Exclusive: Spice Opens Up About Life Behind The Scenes And Reflects On 25-Year Career
Grace "Spice" Hamilton is a Grammy-nominated artist who has been dubbed “The Queen of Dancehall.” She’s also the first Jamaican female dancehall artist in her genre to reach one billion views on YouTube collectively. Her 25-year-long career encompasses many milestones, and she continues to work daily to grow and diversify her legacy. Whether you love her for the bold personality that she shows as a castmate on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, her feel-good party music, or her beauty and fashion influence – she’s someone whose presence is magnetic.
But Spice the person is very different from what fans and supporters experience. When asked what readers may be surprised to learn about her she said: that she’s a homebody, likes to throw down in the kitchen, and that she’s a Christian who takes her worship seriously. During this convo, she gave us a glimpse into her life and background in her career journey that audiences may not always get to see on TV or on social media. Check out the exclusive conversation with xoNecole below.
xoNecole: When you’re not on-camera or performing, what does your life look like?
Spice: When I do get a few days off, it normally goes to my kids. I try to dedicate all my free time to being a mother, which is me taking the wigs off, pulling out my natural hair, cooking, and being with them – just having regular days. The days I can be Grace Hamilton are my best and most fun times. That’s also what I love about my artistry. My fans know when I have blue hair, I'm being Spice. But when they see the black hair, they know I probably just want to be a mother and be alone.
xoN: Balance is important, especially for a twenty-five-year career. Can you talk to me about your evolution as an artist? What lessons have you learned?
Spice: I’ve learned that consistency is the key to success. I feel like that’s why I’m relevant to this day. Being in a male-dominated business from 1999 to now is nothing but consistency and hard work. Also, just having faith in God and knowing that He will deliver me. I’ve learned that losses are lessons. Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more. So when I look in the mirror, I definitely do a lot of self-reflection and self-healing. Twenty-five years hasn’t been a walk in the park, and now I have a lot to celebrate.
"Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more."
xoN: During that self-reflection period is there anything new you’ve learned about yourself, negative or positive? Would you mind sharing those reflections?
Spice: The good thing I’ve learned is that I’m a warrior. I feel like I’m very strong – it doesn’t matter what’s going on. I defeated a lot of naysayers who didn’t think I’d make it this far. The bad thing I’ve learned is that I allow myself to be caught in the trap of the naysayers. Sometimes, people will literally come up to provoke you, and I’ve always been the one to fall in the trap. It’s like people say something, and I just have to defend myself. I need to realize that with fame, that just comes with it.
Photo by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography
xoN: Also, I wanna address one of the issues you touched on earlier. You mentioned colorism. I’m in my 30s, and I still meet women my age who feel uncomfortable with their skin complexion. If you could give a piece of advice to women like that who struggle with self-confidence due to colorism, what would you say?
Spice: I’d say, if I can make it, so can you. I remember when people would make me feel like I had to bleach my skin to appear to be lighter and have a certain image. When I did "Colorism" back in 2018 and appeared to be lighter, it was because of conversations like this. I wanted to remind girls that look like me that they too can make it big in Hollywood.
xoN: Okay, let’s get a bit into the new project. How do you hope this album makes women feel?
Spice: I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun.
"I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun."
xoN: There’s a lot of vulnerability on this album. What were your emotions like when you put everything out?
Spice: I had mixed feelings because I’ve been in the business for 25 years. I know how people receive certain things, but I also didn’t want the controversy to overshadow the message. In the "2085 Tea," I dressed like an older person talking to my younger self. Even though the song is controversial, it’s real-life experiences. These are things that happened to me and I overcame, and I know there's a lot of women that go through similar stuff, and I wanted to remind them that we’re all human. But people who were parts of my past are gonna come out and vocally express I didn't have to reflect on that, but who are they to reflect on my past?
xoN: Generally, is it important to you to set the record straight on conversations related to yourself or do you prefer to just let people think whatever they want?
Spice: I’m my own voice. A lot of times, fans feel like I’m bigger than answering. But I don’t feel that way. I’m a human first, and if someone paints a picture of me that’s not true, then I need to be open and honest with my fans so they hear my side of my story. I’ve worked hard for 25 years to build a brand, and I can’t just allow someone to tarnish my reputation. So unfortunately, I’m someone who will come out and voice my opinion on things that aren’t true.
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Feature image by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography