
While we solemnly vow to get the bag by any means necessary (hustle, save, bargain, invest, and so on), a lot of other areas in your life can suffer in the process. In fact, if you're really after the bag, you'll know that getting money sometimes means adding the actual bag we've been coveting to a wishlist instead of to our shopping cart.
Unfortunately for many of us, that goes double to our routine Sephora hauls, hair appointments, and nail fill-ins. Trust me, playing the "Which One Can You Live Without?" game is only fun when it's hypothetical. Nonetheless, that's the big question that requires the big girl panties when being realistic about your money goals at times.
Although it might not seem like anything short of being a responsible adult, it actually is for a lot of us. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the way we carry ourselves has a great impact on our esteem, and hate it or love it, these luxuries (or what I prefer to see as "self-care habits") have the ability to make or break us if they aren't consistently taken care of -- ultimately leaving us feeling as though we're not our best selves.
But if there's one thing I've learned since joining the money budgeting/financial support group, "The Broke Black Girl," founded by Dasha Kennedy, it's that getting the bag doesn't have to mean sacrificing your beautification process... Not completely. And certainly not with a little creativity and resourcefulness.
That said, I'd like to believe that these 12 alternatives won't feel as sacrificial, allowing us to tend to our business with all our confidence intact to go out and get money. Click through the gallery below!
1.Prime Nails
pink, red, and white nail polish bottlesPhoto by Element5 Digital on UnsplashI'm sure you've heard time and time again to do your own nails instead of going to the salon. However, for those of us who prefer acrylics, it can be difficult or limiting trying to achieve that look at home. Difficult because the stick on nails that are typically recommended don't hold, and limiting because the colors and designs are minimal depending on your preferences.
However, through BBG, I unburied this hidden treasure--$8 press on nails that come in fabulous shapes (stiletto, ballerina, and coffin)! The ladies of BBG recommend taping the nails to popsicle sticks to paint them and then gluing them on.
2.Makeup Mashup
Some of my most crushing moments have been those when my makeup self-destructs, mostly because it typically happens when I'm working to achieve a certain look. That time my Ruby Woo decided to fall off as if it were suffering from gangrene; or when I struggled to get the lid of my eyeshadow open and instead it fell to the ground, instantly shattering (and still unopened, by the way) -- soul crushing. In the moment of panic, I thoughtlessly tossed these products out but little did I know there were alternatives. Don't be like me, instead, take your broken makeup and repurpose them.
You can do so with broken lipstick by placing a chunk of the lipstick in a spoon, and hovering it over a lit candle. Afterwards, you can store it in a lip gloss container. If you have multiple broken sticks and are in the mood for something new, try a mashup by mixing the colors.
Have any crumbled eye shadows? You can create a lip gloss by adding a little Vaseline to the mix. Simply, add the two ingredients into a dish so that you can mix it in and then transfer to a gloss container. You can use this hack when you're craving a new color as well by scaping a little shadow off of the palette.
3.Off The Scent
clear glass perfume bottle on brown wooden tablePhoto by deanna alys on UnsplashIt's hard to find a perfume that isn't overkill and even more difficult to skimp on your scent once you have finally found one that compliments your fly. But perfume is not cheap, which is why I have personally stuck with the nice fragrance of whatever bar soap I'm in the mood for that week.
However, for those of you not feeling my admission of basic-ness and believe it's simply not an option, I have a sweet-smelling hack for you. Once you're running dangerously low on your favorite perfume, grab a bottle of unscented lotion and dump the rest in there to make it last longer. That way when you moisturize, you take your a bit of your signature scent with you.
4.Beauty School Bargain
Go to your local cosmetology school for discounted salon services. The caveat is that your service will be conducted by a trained student. The idea of being a guinea pig may seem less than appealing if you're used to professionals, so maybe start by just walking in and getting a feel for the employees before allowing them to tamper with the hair that sits on your crown. If you're not sure what beauty school schools are in your community, Empire Beauty School covers a lot of territory in the United States.
5.Make Room For The New
one cowboy hat and five jackets hanged on clothes rackPhoto by Amanda Vick on UnsplashIf you absolutely have your heart set on being able to go shopping (maybe it's your therapy), then I would suggest clearing out the old to make room in your budget and closet for the new. You can do this by selling clothes you want to get rid of.
If you haven't heard by now, you can always opt to sell your gently used and fashionably relevant clothes on sites such as Poshmark, or going into stores such as Plato's Closet, or Buffalo Exchange. Use the money you make here as your shopping budget and treat yourself.
6.Spring To Life
There are ways to create a serene element in your home pedicure that can make it more enjoyable than a regular schemegular experience at your salon. Try soaking your feet in a citrus milk bath with all the fixings (lemon and orange zest and slice, mint sprig, etc) and Epsom salt for a different type of experience. If citrus is not your thing, then Pinterest has a world full of milk baths and all you really need is your base -- a box of powdered whole milk and any essential oil you'd like. Furthermore, consider the other elements you enjoy about having your pedicure done in the shop (hot towels, anyone?) and look to Pinterest to help you recreate that. Voila, a spa day from the comforts of your home.
7.On Sleek
woman standing near white wallPhoto by Leighann Blackwood on UnsplashThe price you pay to have natural hair gets pricey at times -- natural stylist, natural products, etcetera, etcetera. And still, you can't be positive that what you're putting in your head is all that good for it. You can cut down on the steep price of beauty by trying out a recipe for DIY flaxseed gel/edge control. YouTuber, The Test Diva delivers a basic recipe for beginners that yields a Gorilla Glue texture. The resources and tutorials are endless.
8.Pearly Whites
In the age of Instagram, we're all double checking up on our dental hygiene. The bigger picture is ensuring that our pictures aren't standing out because of our stained teeth, but realistically teeth whiteners can be expensive. No worries though, you can hack it with a little hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Colgate recommends using less baking soda than peroxide, mixing up two tablespoons of peroxide and one tablespoon of baking soda to achieve a paste-like texture.
9.Sugar, Sugar
person holding white and gray concrete wallPhoto by The Creative Exchange on UnsplashAfter #NoShaveNovember, I pretty much keep the ball rolling and don't shave anything that isn't visible until it's absolutely necessary. Basically when wearing long sleeves outside becomes unbearable. Furthermore, razors are a damn luxury and most days, I'd prefer spending the money on a meal. And truthfully, if you've had any taste of the wax life (also hard on your coin), you know how hard it can be to go back to shaving after venturing out.
However, with ingredients from your kitchen pantry, you can create your own sugar wax to make staying silky smooth easier than ever. You will need fabric strips, 1 cup sugar, 1/4 cup lemon juice, and 1/4 cup water for a soft wax or two cups of sugar if you prefer hard wax. Lastly, you'll need YouTuber Katrinosity to give you the play-by-play (be sure to see her Q&A in the description). Oh and don't forget to breathe.
10. Silky Smooth
There's nothing cute about dead skin, but it certainly doesn't cease to exist because of its faux pas nature. Keep it fresh and make an exfoliator with a little lemon juice, olive oil, honey, and brown sugar or white granulated sugar. Stir and add more or less of the desired ingredients until you achieve the desired exfoliating texture. Exfoliating also helps prevent ingrown hairs after shaving or waxing.
11.Lip Service
selective focus photography of a brown powderPhoto by Luísa Schetinger on UnsplashIt's been said that peppermint oil can naturally plump your lips, but you may also want to try mixing up this little concoction:
- ⅓ teaspoon ginger powder
- ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ⅓ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 drop peppermint oil
- 1 teaspoon of vitamin oil
Rub the mixture into your lips for 30 seconds and leave it on for 3-5 minutes for the best results.
12. Puff Be Gone
As a child, I always wondered what was relaxing about wearing cucumbers over your eyes, now I realize it has nothing at all to do with relaxation and everything to do with losing those puffy bags under your eyes that are proof that you're anything but relaxed (unfortunately many of us busy girls are low on sleep).
Another solution to getting rid of these bags are actual bags -- well caffeinated green tea bags, specifically. You can do this by steeping two tea bags in warm water for no longer than five minutes, placing the bags on a plate, and refrigerating them for 20 minutes. Once you remove the cool bags from the fridge, cut off the tags, squeeze out excess water, and place on your eyes for 15 minutes.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
I Tried 9 Budget-Friendly Drugstore Mascaras And Here's My Review
6 Life Hacks To Feel Like Money While You Save It
5 Drugstore Cleansers Your Skin Will Love You For
I Tried 10 Budget-Friendly Drugstore Lipsticks And Here's My Review
Featured image by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash
- Awesome beauty, hair, makeup and style hacks by Chasing Foxes ›
- 11 Best Beauty Hacks you NEED in your Life! - Fun Cheap or Free ›
- 12 cheap beauty hacks every make-up addict should know - BT ›
- Travel Beauty Hacks for Every Budget • The Blonde Abroad ›
- Six Amazingly Easy and Cheap Beauty Hacks ›
- Inexpensive Beauty Hacks Everyone Should Know | GOBankingRates ›
- 10 Money-Saving Makeup Hacks for Any Budget - Cosmetology ... ›
This article is in partnership with Lexus.
Luxury is often defined by someone else’s standards. But what if the finer things in life looked different through the lens of those crafting and shaping Black culture?
In Redefining Excellence, a two-episode short-form video series presented by Will Packer Media in collaboration with Lexus, we dare to broaden how we think about luxury. Here, it’s not just about the price tag. Luxury is a practice.
At its core, Redefining Excellence is a celebration of intention woven into every detail of how we live: our joy, our spaces, our craft, but also our rituals of care. These are the Black creators who not only give the best to themselves in what they build, but also pay it forward to the communities around them.
Through their vision, they embody the same precision and artistry that Lexus embraces when in pursuit of a higher standard, the Standard of Amazing.
In Episode 1, “Ingredients of Success,” the series follows chef, restaurateur, and Lexus Culinary Master Kwame Onwuachi, whose artistry is imbued with rich cultural storytelling. We see him wander purposefully through a garden, gently testing the ripeness of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Luxury isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about being intentional with your choices and craft,” he says.
The article continues after the video.
“Now, because of my work and the ingredients I use, luxury means something different. I am boldly setting a new standard of amazing and innovation.”
As he chops vegetables, plates vibrant dishes, and loads the finished product into the sleek Lexus LC Convertible, he continues, “For me, luxury means ingredients that carry memory… dining experiences and locations that honor the stories that raised me and feel like us.”
In Episode 2, “The Texture of Luxury,” the lens turns to founder and CEO of CurlyCon LA Ava Pearl, whose ingredients take a different form. As the trunk of her Lexus LX 700h lifts, she says, “When I think of luxury, it isn’t expensive, it’s expansive.” The scene shifts, and we watch Ava lay down a bouquet of fresh flowers upon entering her home before using aloe vera leaves to prepare gel by hand.
The article continues after the video.
“When I was younger, I thought luxury was something you bought. Now I know it’s about living up to a higher standard… Black women have always defined what’s next, setting the standard for beauty, luxury, and excellence.”
Like Kwame, she builds with intention, pouring care into the details, believing, like Lexus, that “luxury isn’t just a finish, it’s a standard. One that’s built to amaze.”
Through these stories, Redefining Excellence serves as a reminder that the journey is not just about the destination, but also the ingredients you choose along the way.
Watch both episodes now and learn more about how Kwame and Ava set their own standard of amazing.
Featured image by xoNecole/Will Packer Media
Closure From A Cheating Ex Was The Catalyst To Healing I Needed
I'll never forget the moment I found out my ex cheated. Knowing another woman lingered in our home while I was committed to our relationship was the most violated I have ever felt. All I could think about was "her." How her lips touched our wine glasses. Her body slept in the bed we shared. Her moans echoed in the home where we once said, "I love you." I could almost smell her perfume.
It was the perfect formula to make any woman see red. My anger took over our once-happy home.
You can imagine my dismay when my ex reached out years later. Turns out, HE needed closure. Yeah, you read that correctly. Every part of me wanted to "boy-bye!" his ass up out of my phone, but I didn't. I had so many unanswered questions that lingered in my mind for years. I knew it was time to put my pain to rest. I texted him back, and we had one of the hardest conversations of my life. Healing is not always sunshine and rainbows.
It's also not as colorful as the wellness pages on social media. We all process pain differently; therefore, we all heal differently.
Sometimes the process of healing looks like emotional breakdowns in your car or regular dates with your therapist. Overall, healing is difficult for everyone, and we will all face hardships along the way. Here are some hard truths I've run into during my healing process.
It Happened, Period.

I found the moment I accepted things for what they were, the easier it was to move forward.
He cheated, it happened, and there was no changing it. I could yell all I wanted, but the fact is the deed was already done. I had to accept that there was a woman who was important enough to sacrifice our relationship for, period. Me staying angry forever or justifying his actions to give him a second chance won't change the past. This is no shade to those who have gone back after cheating. I'm just speaking from my own experience.
Whatever hurt you, happened. I know this may sound a little forward to most people, but we keep it real at xoNecole. In my experience, it was easy to get wrapped up in the whole, "Is this happening to me? Nah, this can't be happening to me."
I learned denying that it happened or justifying the action to make it less painful, doesn't mean it just goes away. Denial or justifying is just an excuse to suppress your emotions or not face the reality of the situation. This can only lead to prolonging your healing process.
To start our healing journey, we must accept what happened and that we are hurt. We live in a society where we are encouraged to "look at the positive" or ask yourself, "What did we learn from this?" three days after it happened. You are allowed to admit a situation sucks and feel those emotions for what they are. It is okay to validate our pain if it means moving forward.
Sometimes You Have To Call Yourself Out On Your Toxic Traits
If you think you don't have any toxic traits, you're lying. Yes, sis, you have a toxic trait and so do I. We all have a toxic trait or two. Although my relationship ended due to cheating, that doesn't mean I was exactly perfect either. I had a few toxic traits that didn't help my relationship thrive. I had the classic "daddy issues" which made me extremely codependent. I also suffered from a strong case of "hood mentality" due to my upbringing.
I didn't know how to talk about my problems. I just knew how to fight about them. This was a huge issue in our relationship.
It's hard to admit that we have toxic traits because no one likes to feel "wrong." Confessing our toxic traits also means "showcasing" our weaknesses. Letting others in on our weaknesses is an extremely vulnerable place to be in. Admitting we have a toxic trait may take time, but it can make us aware of it. Becoming more self-aware with our whole being will only make us better in the toughest of situations.
We will be able to detect our toxic traits when they arise and have more self-control.
You Owe It To Yourself To Heal
Unfortunately, it's not the job of the person who "hurt us" to heal us. In fact, I have a confession to make. There was a period in time where I felt my cheating ex should've made up for what he did. Crazy, right? As if a Michael Kors bag (don't judge, they were popping back then!) was the answer to all of our underlying issues. What I was subconsciously doing was placing MY healing in HIS hands.
My healing is my responsibility, just like it is yours.
You owe it to yourself to heal. If you rely on those who hurt you to heal you, you might be hurting for a while. Taking charge of our healing is taking back our power.
Closure & Forgiveness Are For You. Read That Again.

When I agreed to meet up with my ex after some time, it was because I needed closure too. As selfish as it may sound, I decided to embrace closure and forgiveness for me, not for him. I spent years being angry and labeling all men as "ain't shit" because of what another man did. All I accomplished by choosing to "stay mad" was block other relationships that could have been great for me. I was tired of being a "bitter woman."
I was ready to forgive and release all of the pain I found comfort in.
Closure and forgiveness don't always require a meet up at Starbucks. It can consist of your journaling or organically coming to terms with how things ended. If you do choose the Starbucks route though, make sure to prep before going. Write down a list of key points you would like to mention and do your best to be in a good headspace. Remember, holding on to situations that no longer serve us is holding us back from our higher purpose.
Toxic Relationships Shouldn’t Be Turned Into Friendships
This may be an unpopular opinion, but trust me sis, I'm trying to save you. If your situation was toxic, give him back to Jesus, and move forward with grace. Turning any toxic relationship into a friendship is still holding onto the toxicity; it means we're not ready to let go. The point is to let toxicity go so we can thrive into who we're meant to be.
My ex and I tried to have a friendship after we broke up and it got messy. The issues we had in our relationship began to roll into our friendship. Arguments about people we were dating, mixed signals, and old wounds from the past began to come up again.
The friendship felt more stressful than the actual relationship itself. I realized If I wanted to move forward with my life, I had to let him go completely. I gracefully gave him back to Jesus.
Letting go of my ex and the grudge I had against him has helped me find peace. I truly feel happier, free, and more aligned with myself than I ever have before. I've learned to fall in love with the woman I am today and embrace all of me. I love my independence, peace of mind, and the beauty marks I have gained along the way. I wish my ex well and I truly hope he has also healed from this experience.
I hope these hard truths are a benefit to your healing journey. These truths have helped me find acceptance in many ways. The hurt you are going through now is molding you into a strong phenomenal human for the future. I promise it does get better. If you need someone to talk to during this time, please reach out to me on Instagram. Happy healing.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on January 9, 2021









