

Moms Who Inspire: Ashley Sirah Nicole Chea
xoNecole's Moms Who Inspire series highlights modern day moms mastering all the tasks on their plate, from day to day responsibilities to ensuring their children are kind, educated and well-rounded human beings. Each mother describes their inspiration, what motherhood means to them, and how they maintain their sense of selves while being the superwoman we all know and love.
For Ashley Sirah Nicole Chea, being a modern mom is anything but playing it by the book.
In fact, the author, writer, mother, and all-around creative being chooses to honor motherhood for what it is: a woman who happens to be a mom. Her identity isn't eclipsed by her being a mother, instead it is an extension of who she is and who she is becoming everyday.
Abby Walters
The blogger behind Watermeloneggrolls was first introduced to the xoNecole audience when she shared her proposal to husband Chea in a love story that proved love has no color. "I was set on marrying a black man that burned incense and listened to Lauryn Hill and Dwele in the late hours of the night like myself. Instead, Chea came into my life with every topical difference possible," she revealed. "Our souls have always been aligned and that is what spoke to our hearts when we met."
Her multicultural marriage to her husband would later be featured on Black Love, OWN's groundbreaking docuseries highlighting love stories from the African-American community. And although the focus is often placed on her epic love with her husband Chea, Ashley is also the co-creator of two other love stories (and one in progress) in the form of her beautiful children.
@watermeloneggrolls
Ashley's first pregnancy at 23 was anything but planned, but she knew she'd be great at it regardless. After experiencing loss when her sister died a year prior, her oldest daughter AmirahLee was a vessel for restored faith she didn't know she needed. Motherhood would be transformative for Ashley, but also whatever she wanted it to be.
As a Mom Who Inspires us, Ashley shares how her faith, her family and her upbringing continually inspire her to thrive as a wife, mother and creator.
@watermeloneggrolls
On what motherhood means to her:
For me, it's a chance to show God's grace.
I believe it's the greatest responsibility in the world. It's my chance to show how great a human can be if you cultivate them with love and respect.
On the three words that represent her approach to motherhood:
Create. Love. Empower. I live by this motto I created for my life, motherhood, and business. If you do all things with this in mind, you will be fine. When I think about their future careers, I want my children to learn from me to do things that make them happy and contribute to this world in a positive way.
On what a typical day in her household looks like:
I make breakfast, homeschool my eldest daughter, play with and help my 19-month-old learn. Work on writing and run around like a chicken with their head cut off. I'm also pregnant [with our third daughter] so I take naps when my husband gets home (laughs).
@watermeloneggrolls
On how she balances work and home life:
There is no such thing. Some days, you are better in one area than you are another. It will always be that way. Accept it and move on.
On what she believes to be true about herself:
I believe that God speaks to me and I always listen. So when I have a deep feeling, desire, dream that shakes my core I act on it. I dreamed about my children's book, woke up in the middle of the night wrote it and it ended up selling out 3k copies and I self-published it. I dreamed about writing a script and I'm doing that now and I know it will manifest.
I don't question anymore, I just do the work and wait for the universe's timing.
On how motherhood led her back to her first love:
I also used to be a ballet dancer, when I became a mother I had to give that career up temporarily to move back to Ohio to raise my child. Once I was there I was spending more time writing and creating. It was challenging because it took my life in a different direction. I ended up creating a children's book and that pushed my career into a whole new direction.
@watermeloneggrolls
On the most important thing motherhood has taught her:
We really don't know anything (laughs). Everything we thought we knew can be challenged and changed.
On what scares her about being a parent:
I'm scared every day. They keep changing and growing and as soon as you master one age they change and get older and that brings new challenges.
I just take it one day at a time and understand that I must evolve with them.
On prioritizing her children's individualism:
I respect them and treat them as humans and not my little robots. They will understand that by me allowing them to be themselves, I've given them the greatest love possible, which is freedom.
@watermeloneggrolls
On how she practices self-care:
By telling my kids and husband no when I feel overwhelmed. It's important my daughters understand that being a mother does not mean we have to over exhaust ourselves.
On her relationship with her mother:
My relationship with my mother was and is very strong. Very open and very encouraging. She's always supported me and pushed me to be my greatest self. She taught us to be respectful, to question and research.
To do things because they mean something and not because everyone else is doing them.
She taught us about mental, spiritual and physical health. I've used those exact tools when raising my children.
On how her mother inspires her:
My mother, she is constantly inspiring me because she hasn't stopped growing or learning. She calls me and tells me things she did wrong, things she wished she did differently and challenges me to read and learn from my mistakes as well as hers. She is growth, and that gives me so much inspiration to do the same.
For more of Ashley and her darling little ones, follow her on Instagram.- Moms Who Inspire: Ashley Sirah Nicole Chea - xoNecole ›
- I Married The Man Of My Dreams Twice - xoNecole ›
Christine Carter is a voice for millennial moms (and uniquely, young black female professionals and mothers). She has been featured in and guest contributed to several global digital publications, including Forbes, TIME, Health, Ebony, Black Bride, Inc., Women's Health and many others.
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Want To Add Retinol To Your Skincare Routine? Here’s Where To Start.
Magic products. Secret serums. Glass skin in a bottle. We’ve all heard the claims of skincare brands that promise to solve all of our skin’s needs with just one product added to our rotation. And while it’s easy to veer into “product junkie” territory when trying to find the right creams or serums to correct your skin’s needs, over time, it can become frustrating when you still don’t see results.
But if there’s one skincare ingredient that can deliver an all-in-one solution to most skincare concerns, it’s retinol.
What Is Retinol?
As the darling of the skincare space, retinol is a vitamin-A derivative that is used to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improve skin texture, increase collagen production, and enhance cell turnover, leading to smoother and more youthful-looking skin.
How Does Retinol Work?
Retinol, which is commonly found in creams, serums, and other skincare formulations, works in several ways that benefit the skin. It promotes cellular turnover by encouraging the removal of old skin cells and the production of new, healthier ones, improving skin texture and reducing fine lines. Additionally, retinol stimulates collagen production, which combats wrinkled skin and helps to unclog pores, making it an effective ingredient to use against acne and enlarged pores.
Because the body can not produce vitamin A on its own, it needs to be provided through dietary intake and topical application to the skin via skincare products.
How To Start Using Retinol
Because retinol is an active skincare ingredient, it’s important to start adding it into your skincare routine gradually and taking note of your skin’s sensitivity and how your skin responds to it. If you're new to retinol, it's advised to begin with a lower concentration (at least 0.25% retinol) and allow your skin to acclimate by starting once a week or every other night.
As your skin becomes more accustomed to retinol over time, you can then gradually increase the frequency. After a few weeks, you may be able to use it every night, but some people may find that using it every other night or a few times a week is sufficient.
Always listen to your skin and pay close attention to how your skin reacts to the usage of retinol. Experiencing dryness, redness, flaking, or irritation while using retinol is normal, but it could be a sign that you may be using retinol too often or at too high a concentration. While it can be frustrating to go through the trial-and-error phase of using retinol, adjusting the frequency of use or switching to a milder formulation can yield the best results while minimizing potential side effects.
And, of course, always use sunscreen.
To get you started on your retinol journey, here are some of the best beginner-friendly retinol serums and creams to try out for yourself:
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Featured image by Renata Angerami/Getty Images