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#xoProposals: Ashley and Chea Prove Love Has No Color With This Beautiful Engagement
There's something special about a man that's willing to share his birthday with you.
When your boyfriend decides to propose on his day, you know he's the one.
Ashley and Chea didn't have marriage in mind when they began dating six years ago, but for the couple, being happy and committed to one another was their end goal. Ashley tells xoNecole her story of planning a birthday/going away party with her girlfriends for Chea, as the two planned to move across the country from Columbus, Ohio to Orange County, California.
In the midst of giving details to her loved ones, Ashley had no clue what was going on behind the scenes as Chea was planning to pop the big question on his own birthday. The couple let us in on one special someone who knew about the engagement all along–their six-year-old daughter, Amirah Lee, who was able to build a daddy-daughter bond over the big secret. Ashley also opens up about who she had envisioned marrying, but why she's more than content with who she's planning on spending the rest of her life with.
“I was set on marrying a black man that burned incense and listened to Lauryn Hill and Dwele in the late hours of the night like myself. Instead, Chea came into my life with every topical difference possible. Our souls have always been aligned and that is what spoke to our hearts when we met."
Grab a tissue, delve into Ashley and Chea's engagement story, and see just why she said yes.
Coming from two totally different lifestyles growing up, what did you see in Ashley six years ago?
Chea: I saw a number of strengths in our differences. She is unmatched in her willingness to love and give. Her love and loyalty is so strong and honest. She gives all of herself to me and the people she loves. Seeing how she treats others is such a telling story of a person's nature. There is nobody more honest with their feelings than her.
This is an ability I learned in my youth. My parents are different; different ethnicity, nationality, personality, and age. My parents divorced when I was three-years-old, so there were two different parenting styles and lifestyles I was exposed to during my childhood. I picked the qualities that I agreed with from each parent like a la carte at the cafeteria. This is the culture that the younger generations exhibit–Generation A La Carte. Take what you want and make the best out of it.
In your story you said you had envisioned being with someone who was the opposite of who Chea is. When did you throw all of that out of the window and fall in love with him?
Ashley: Luckily for me, Chea and I were friends for about four years before we ever dated. I was able to get to know him on an honest and authentic level. I didn't even realize he liked me until one of my friends told me. He is one of those people who is nice to everyone so I never second guessed his gestures or advances. My mom is actually the person who told me to date him. She told me to, “forget about what I thought I wanted and to allow what God wanted for me to come into my life."
On a day where people came to celebrate you, you flipped the script and now share an engagement date on your birthday. Why did you decide to do it then?
Chea: In hindsight, there are so many reasons why it makes perfect sense. For starters, I'll never forget our engagement date and anniversary! But more importantly, the date was a great setting to share our news with everyone important to our family. People attended to celebrate my birthday and our going away party as we were moving the next week from Ohio to SoCal and after about six years, it was due time for me to ask Ashley to marry me. Basically everyone that needed to be there was in attendance, and I was able to surprise everybody with the engagement, and most importantly, Ashley with her ring.
You were definitely surprised at the proposal. How were you feeling when he asked you to marry him?
Ashley: Well initially, I hid behind my six-year-old daughter because I was overwhelmed [laughs]. I honestly wasn't expecting him to ask me to marry him, especially because we were about to move across country for his new job. However, when I finally looked up and looked him in the eyes, I just felt loved. A very honest feeling of being honored by the man I dedicated myself to years ago.
How many people were in on the secret, and what did you say to your daughter to keep her quiet for so long?
Chea: Jerreau is one of our close friends that I brought in on the arrangements to make sure I addressed all of the fine details. Aside from the usual suspects being our parents, Amirah our daughter was the only other person that knew about the engagement ring. She was the first person to see the ring when I purchased it about two months before the engagement party. It was a risk telling her, but she is smart and mature enough that I saw it as a challenge for her. We talked about the importance of everything and it being a surprise. She loves being challenged and luckily she kept the secret well.
Give us a peek into your wedding day. What's it looking like? Are you going big or small?
Ashley: A peek into our wedding day would be a peek into our personalities and love. There will be 150 guests, bigger than I initially wanted but smaller than the 350-guest list it could have been. The best way to describe it would be an urban, industrial, vegan, earth friendly day. The reception and ceremony are both being held at Strongwater Food and Spirits in Columbus, Ohio our hometown. It has cement floors, exposed bricks and beams, bistro lighting and large windows. I'm doing a simplistic decoration of succulents and vintage books. A dessert table with all of Chea's favorite candy and Rum Mule as our signature drink. It will be laid back with lots of love, variations of tacos and really good music. I know our guest will leave feeling like they just left a party at our home–a very intimate wedding experience.
What do want your daughter to know about love?
Chea: Love is a byproduct of the positives you give in life to people, nature, the universe, etc. Love is the positives of living. So don't focus on finding love, focus on living your life with love. The rest will come.
Ashley: I want my daughter to always know that love is healing. Love is something that inspires you to be better and do better. An energy that holds you accountable and responsible for yourself and others. It can be challenging but never demeaning or destructive to your spirit or body. I want my daughter to know that as long she loves herself and from that comes respect, she will receive what she projects.
[Tweet "Don't focus on finding love, focus on living your life with love. The rest will come."]
Check out Ashley's big moment on Chea's big day below.
Do you have a tear jerking proposal story that you would like to share? Contact us at editor@xonecole.com, Subject 'Proposal Story.' Include photos and video (if possible)!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Is it just me, or do our bodies have an “If it’s not one thing, it’s another” vibe as we get older? And lately, new or recurring skin conditions have been yet another thing to add to the growing list of “WTF is this, am I dying?” When it comes to seborrheic dermatitis, it’s one of the most common skin issues, impacting 3 to 10 out of 100 people, per the National Institute of Health. You may have heard of it, been diagnosed with it, or will relate to this article and finally feel seen and relieved that there’s a name for what you’ve been going through.
We’re breaking down everything you need to know about seborrheic dermatitis, from what it is and its symptoms to shutting down a few common myths, and of course, how to know if you actually have it. Let’s get into it.
What Are The Signs?
You may be experiencing seborrheic dermatitis if your skin, eyebrows, scalp, or facial hair has dandruff, irritable skin patches, or flakes, according to the Mayo Clinic. More specifically, and on the verge of TMI, oily skin with flat white or yellow scales may also be a sign.
When it comes to rashes, it’s likely they’ll show up in a ring-like form (which is called petaloid seborrheic dermatitis). For the melanated folks, rashes may appear darker or lighter (per the National Eczema Association, people of color may get a more intense flare-up with lesions on the hairline and discoloration), while those with fair skin may experience red rash areas.
Where Is It?
While seborrheic dermatitis can occur on various body parts, it’s frequently seen on the scalp, according to the NEA. The Mayo Clinic notes that the condition also pops up on oily facial and body areas like the edges of one’s nose, eyelids, and eyebrows, as well as the chest and ears. Skin can appear inflamed with rashes and patches, and the scalp will typically battle with relentless dandruff.
Seborrheic dermatitis can be super irritating and frustrating, but fortunately, if you’ve been diagnosed, it doesn’t lead to permanent hair loss, and it isn’t contagious, The Mayo Clinic states. In fact, with doctor-prescribed treatment or products like special shampoo, it could disappear or at least reduce flare-ups.
What Triggers It?
It’s difficult to pinpoint what specifically causes the condition. The Mayo Clinic points out that it could arise thanks to too much oil in the skin or the presence of Malassezia, a type of fungi. Commonly, things like fatigue, weather changes, and stress also play a role. More serious conditions that can trigger it range from Parkinson’s and depression to HIV, as well as the aftermath of life-altering events like a heart attack.
Bronchitis, strep throat, the flu, tonsillitis, and ear and respiratory infections are also known to cause flare-ups, along with skin issues like bruises, sunburns, scratches, and bites, per the Cleveland Clinic.
Interestingly enough, the NIH notes that seasons changing has a role too. Seborrheic dermatitis can disappear in the summer months, and then make a comeback like it never left in the winter.
Who Does It Affect?
Unlike many other things we go through as women, seborrheic dermatitis is actually more common for men, according to the NIH. It often appears for the first time in the young adult years or for those who are older than 50.
What About Psoriasis Though?
Seborrheic dermatitis is often compared to psoriasis, and for good reason. They both impact the skin, especially the scalp area. They can both also leave scaly patches on the skin, flakes on your hair, and cause itching. However, they’re not identical. Healthline notes that areas of seborrheic dermatitis flareups are typically easier to remove compared to psoriasis. Psoriasis also tends to be sorer and more tender, while seborrheic dermatitis can itch or create a burning sensation.
Let’s Clear The Air
There are a few rumors about the power of seborrheic dermatitis and what it can cause. So let’s break down the truth for a second. According to the NEA, this condition is not cancerous, nor does it indicate or increase a higher risk for cancer in the future.
Just a reminder, it doesn’t cause hair loss, nor is hair loss a symptom. If you are experiencing concerning hair loss, it is likely a sign of something else.
How Can You Treat It?
Seborrheic dermatitis can be treated pretty easily (praises be). Certain medicines like shampoos with tar, anti-inflammatory creams that include steroids, creams and shampoos with antifungal agents, or creams that feature salicylic acid, can be applied to the inflamed area to help resolve the problematic area, according to the NIH.
Just a note though: As tempting as it is to cover up scaly patches with heavy foundation or concealer, experts with the NIH actually advise against it as it can clog your pores. However, a light foundation can be used occasionally, along with skin care products that aren’t too oily to help temporarily conceal it.
A unique type of sunscreen also isn’t needed. You can use what you typically would before stepping out into the sun. And your skin soaking in a few extra rays could actually help your skin.
Should You Self-Diagnose?
As tempting as it is to make an appointment with Dr. Google, The Mayo Clinic advises you to call your actual physician if the condition interrupts your sleep, makes you lose focus throughout the day, contributes to anxiety, or simply doesn’t go away with at-home remedies. Simply put, it’s always best to check with your doctor to ensure you’re actually experiencing seborrheic dermatitis and get the treatment you need to help monitor or prevent it.
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