6 Challenges All Newlyweds Should Expect In Their First Year Of Marriage

Adjusting to "Hidden Habits"

If you lived together before getting married, this one won't be as much of a factor. But if you waited until after the ceremony to become "oneness roommates", chile, this point alone can be the ultimate kind of culture shock.

Nothing says the-mystery-is-gone like sharing a bathroom with someone, doing another person's laundry, or finding out the hard way how they handle mucus when they have a cold, or what their clean-up strategy is during their period.

You can love someone all day but hair shavings, bodily fluids, and how they clean a tub can make still finding them sexy a challenge. It might be gross to think about but the sooner you accept this reality check, the better off you and your marriage will be.

Getting Some "Me" Time In.

One of the coolest things about being single and in a serious relationship is you can get "me" time and "us" time without there being any stress, strain, or drama. But once you're married, you're accountable to your spouse when it comes to how you spend your time, in a way you never really were before.

Keeping this in mind, the healthiest married couples I know are not the ones who are constantly attached at the hip. It's the ones who love being around each other and can give one another space to hang out with their friends and even spend time alone.

For the record, "giving space" also means not blowin' their phone up while they are out with their friends or spending time alone. Things grow in sun, not shade. It's an act of love (and trust) to give your spouse some space sometimes.

Embracing the Maturity of Married Sex

There is an element of selfishness that comes with having sex when you're single. Even if you are in a relationship, it still basically boils down to doing it on your terms and on your watch. But when you're married and sharing a bed with someone, it's important to not be selfish when it comes to coitus.

If they like morning sex while you prefer it at night, set your alarm clock once a week to wake up an hour earlier. Even if footie pajamas and a tattered scarf is comfortable, you know it might not exactly be aesthetically-pleasing so compromise with some boy shorts and a tank top. Don't just wait until you're in the mood to get some; talk to your spouse about what both of your expectations are.

When you signed up to be married, you signed up for sex to not just be about you and your needs. Embracing this reality can help to keep your bedroom — and libido — in check.

Setting Boundaries with Loved Ones

I take being in someone's wedding pretty seriously. The rare times I've been in one, almost all of the couples can vouch for the fact that I was the one who was crying, almost more than anyone else.

It's not that I wasn't happy for my friends; it's that I knew things were about to change. No more hanging out at all hours of the night. No more talking on the phone for hours on end about absolutely nothing. They had a spouse now. Therefore, adjustments had to be made as it related to how we spent our time together.

A lot of people don't factor this point in prior to marriage. And so, after becoming one with their spouse, parents are still all up in their business and friends are still calling and texting all of the time.

Life didn't only change for you after saying "I do". It did for your family and friends as well. If you don't discuss what the new normal will be with them, some may disrespect your boundaries. Even if it's unintentional.

If you let that slide long enough, things could get ugly. At the very least, super uncomfortable.

Budgeting

One of the leading causes of divorce continues to be financial issues. This is one of the reasons why going to premarital counseling is so critical. If you guys can't discuss credit card statements, student loans, and credit scores before getting married, I'm not so sure you're ready to become husband and wife

Also, if your financial plan is to get your spouse to fix your jacked-up situation, that also gets major side-eye.

You've got to work together to create a financial plan, figure out what your spending priorities are, and how to get (and stay) out of debt. When you were single, all of this was on you. When you're married, you've got a financial accountability partner — whether you want one or not.

If you're not willing to accept that, yeah…things are about to get really interesting — and by that, I mean difficult — for you. And yours.

Learning the Virtues of Patience and Forgiveness

I know the more popular definition of patience is learning how to wait, but the one you need most in marriage is "bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation." Your spouse ain't perfect. Neither are you. You both are going to provoke and annoy one another. Sometimes misfortunes and painful things are going to happen. This is especially the case since you'll be living together and sharing so much of one another's lives. That's why forgiveness is paramount.

I've said in other articles that if you, as a single individual, know you're not good at forgiving folks (this includes not holding grudges and bringing up things that you already said you've dropped), you need to remain single until you get better at it. No matter how awesome your beloved may be, they are gonna disappoint you, hurt your feelings, and piss you off — including during your newlywed years.

Love is patient. It also forgives. Master that and your marriage will be easier — and healthier — than some couples that have been together 10 times as long as you! Trust me on this one.