Hmph. I was just telling a friend of mine last night that when it comes to periods, I don’t think that women get even one full week off from dealing with them. There’s the PMS week that comes before it. There’s the week that we’re on it. There’s the week that we’re recovering from it. There’s the week that we’re ovulating. DAMN.
And when you really sit and ponder the fact that a period is something that we have to deal with for several decades of our life — well, I don’t know about y’all but there is a conscious and constant pursuit on my part to find as many ways as possible to keep from totally losing it (due to being irritated by it) until my cycle passes.
Preferably, I like my remedies to be as natural as possible. If you’re on the same page, here are 10 all-natural things that you can do (that I can actually vouch for) that really can keep you sane whenever Aunt Flo (as grandma used to call her) comes to town.
1. Take Some Evening Primrose Oil
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If there’s one oil that I wished that I had gotten into my system a helluva lot sooner than I actually did, it’s evening primrose oil. Not only does it help to heal and prevent acne, ease up eczema-related symptoms and make skin super moist and supple from the inside out, but it’s also a beast when it comes to making PMS symptoms and cramping more endurable.
Thanks to the high amounts of the fatty acid gamma-linolenic acid (GLA), along with the vitamins B6 and E that’s in it, evening primrose oil helps to reduce bloating, minimize breast discomfort, alleviate headaches, and can help to make menstrual cramps less intense. As a bonus, it’s great for menopause-related symptoms like hot flashes, insomnia, and even hair loss.
The key is to not wait until your PMS symptoms arise to get into your body. If you want to see the best results, it’s best to take evening primrose oil all month long.
2. Put Some Fresh Roses in Your Room
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If there’s one time of the month when you certainly shouldn’t hesitate to pamper yourself, it’s when your period arrives. That’s why you should put a vase of fresh roses in your room (preferably red — no pun intended).
Aside from how the sight of them can help to calm you, did you know that the scent of roses is highly therapeutic too? Yep, aromatherapy is pretty powerful and there are studies to support the fact that taking in the scent of rose can actually help to reduce period pain. Dope.
3. Consume Less Foods…More Often
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The bigger the meal, the more energy it requires your body to break it all down in your system. Listen, your body is already taking quite a beating when you’re on your period, so give it a break by eating smaller meals. At the same time, try and consume smaller ones more often, so that you can get the fuel that you need to not just get through your cycle but function as normally as possible in the process too.
For the record, this doesn’t give you license to go to every drive-thru within a 10-mile radius of your house. Junk food can actually make your period worse. This brings me to the next point.
4. Eat Iron-Rich Foods (and Cook Them in a Cast Iron Skillet)
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Did you know that every time your period rolls around, you lose around 1 mg of iron? If you’re a heavy bleeder, it can be 5-6 times that much. That’s why it’s super essential that you consume iron-rich foods, in preparation for your cycle and while you’re on it. Dark leafy greens; red grape juice (the pure kind not the cocktail); dried fruit; lentils; oats; red meat; pumpkin seeds; quinoa; shellfish, and dark chocolate all fit the bill.
You know what else does? Cooking in a cast iron skillet. I own one and maybe it’s the Music City (i.e., southern) in me, but I don’t know anyone who takes cooking seriously who doesn’t. And just how does it help you to get iron into our system? Believe it or not, the iron in the skillet actually helps to transfer iron deposits into your food. Just one more solid reason to grocery shop before your period and why cooking more instead of eating out is best for you — all the way around.
5. Also, Consume More Anti-Inflammatory Foods
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Here’s something that makes a lot of sense (although I’m not sure how many of us actually give it as much thought as we should) — anti-inflammatory foods can help to make cycles easier as well. Long story short, prostaglandins mimic hormones. They are responsible for things like inflammation and uterine contractions. So, when you consume foods that fight against inflammation, that can make your menstrual cramps less severe. Foods that top the anti-inflammatory list include berries; salmon; green tea; peppers; grapes; tomatoes; olive oil; broccoli, and almonds.
6. Avoid Alcohol. Embrace Magnesium-Rich Smoothies.
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One more thing as far as your diet is concerned. To be frank, science is still doing quite a bit of research on whether or not alcohol should be an absolute no-no during your period. However, what we do know is alcohol dehydrates the system and dehydration undoubtedly makes cramps worse.
Aside from water and herbal teas, if you’re a fan of smoothies, this would be the time of the month to enjoy a few extra (preferably homemade) ones. Make sure they’re magnesium-rich while you’re at it. The reason why is that it’s a mineral that decreases the discomfort of cramps, increases blood flow, and helps you to sleep better.
Foods that are good sources of magnesium include bananas; spinach; avocados; yogurt; kiwi; raspberries; cantaloupe; papaya, and dark chocolate — all of which are beyond delicious when it comes to ingredients for smoothie recipes.
7. Rub Some Clove and Cinnamon Oils onto Your Abdomen
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Imma tell y’all what — if you ever have a toothache, get yourself some clove oil. It will knock that ish right on out! That’s thanks to its powerful anti-inflammatory properties that can also reduce puffiness, sagginess, and fine lines. Cinnamon oil is loaded with antioxidants and acts as an astringent which makes it an ideal ingredient for a DIY skin toner (just make sure to dilute both oils with water and/or a carrier oil because they are too strong to be applied alone).
Anyway, as far as periods go, the anti-inflammatories of the cloves and cinnamon are proven to reduce period-related discomfort when you apply a mixture of them directly to your abdominal region. If you blend 5-7 drops of each to one cup of olive oil (it’s an oil that also decreases period pain), warm it up and gently rub it in that area, you should feel relief within 30 minutes or less.
8. Take Naps
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According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a nap that lasts either between 15-30 minutes or 90 minutes (yep, that one…LOL) can help to reduce daytime fatigue, increase alertness and help you to be more productive (cat naps on lunch breaks anyone?). And you know what? All of this applies to you when you’re PMS’ing too. As a bonus, prioritizing naps during that time of the month can also help you to stay in a better mood — so don’t look at extra sleep when you’re PMS’ing and on your period as a luxury; science backs that it is absolutely a necessity.
9. Give Yourself a Lavender Foot Massage
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Something else that you shouldn’t sleep on (pun intended) is either getting a massage or giving your own self one during this time of the month. If you apply pressure to your inner ankle, it can ease pain just like massaging your abdomen area will. Not only that but a good 10-15 minute foot and ankle massage can help to increase blood circulation, release toxins and reduce your stress levels too.
If you really want to take things to another level, apply a blend of lavender oil to a carrier one like grapeseed or sweet almond oil, zap it in the microwave for about 10 seconds, and rub the oil on your feet as you’re massaging them. The scent of lavender provides a calming sensation. Plus, lavender oil helps to reduce anxiety, relieve depression and improve your quality of sleep.
10. Sleep in the Fetal Position
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Last one. A lot of us continue to sleep in the fetal position because when we were in our mother’s womb, we developed that way. If you’re not one of those individuals, you might want to consider trying to do so when you’re on your period. From what I’ve read and researched, it helps to reduce pressure in the abdominal area which makes cramps less intense.
The more you know, sis. The more you know.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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