Life can have its amazing moments of joy, advancement, and fun, but there are other not-so-fun challenges that we have to face in order to advance and grow. Ending something that is not serving you is one of them, especially when it comes to your career. Sometimes, you won't be forced out of a job that you've outgrown or simply don't like. You'll need to walk away.
Quitting a job can be a scary thing to even think about doing, especially when you have bills and other obligations. It can be even more difficult when you're comfortable, making a nice amount of money, and seemingly have a dream life, but you've been called to something else. You just don't feel fulfilled, or there's a push to go in another direction.
Well, allow a few bits of information to encourage you to replace fear with factual empowerment: First off, many Black women in today's work environments consistently face discrimination, micro-aggressions, underemployment, and unequal pay. In fact, 2 in 5 Black women have left jobs due to the aforementioned reasons. (That's 40 percent, y'all.) And they've survived and thrived, going on to other jobs, starting businesses, becoming full-time stay-at-home moms, digital nomads, or pursuing other destinies.
I once quit a job even after finally being promoted. I got tired of watching and reporting on others fulfilling their highest entrepreneurial dreams, and I wanted to try self-employment for myself. I felt God pushing me to take charge of my own advancement.
There were several confirmations of this in the form of getting more invites to speak, to host events, and to consult entrepreneurs outside of the usual work I'd done with that company. It was just time. While I would have loved to have advanced further within that company after the promotion (and it was something I'd been working hard toward for the past 7 years working there), I just knew that I had to go.
A decade later, I'm still self-employed, and while it hasn't always been a glamorous, dreamy journey, leaving that job to transition into this life was the best decision I ever made. As my now 94-year-old Granny always told me, "Life goes on. Your survival doesn't depend on a job. Use your brain. Make yourself happy. Go live life."
If you're struggling with taking the step to quit your job and move on to the next phase of your life, here are 10 affirmations to give you the boost you need:
1. "I have the tools, knowledge, and faith to land on my feet."
Your training, education, and experience are invaluable and can be used for many different things. Tap into the power of that and think about your options based on those factors.
2. "I am unique, talented, and experienced, and my skills are needed."
Skills are valuable to companies, especially when they're specialized. Remember what you bring to the table.
3. "I am confident that this is indeed the right time."
God often confirms things for us after telling us. You might be watching a TikTok video and feel a bit of discomfort observing someone you follow taking a risk in their career. You might be inspired by a movie you're watching, and you can't sleep after. You might have responded extremely negatively to a typical email your boss sent you that almost took you over the edge. You might meet a new bae who keeps encouraging you to start that business. The timing is always divine.
4. "I have been given all that I need to succeed."
This is often said, and I've known it to be true: You have everything around you to succeed. Even when quitting a job and doing something else seems too "big" of a thing to do, if you really tap in and look around, you'll notice the resources you have that you might have ignored or overlooked before.
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5. "I can be smart with my money and set up an exit plan that will work."
Exit plans are a thing, and they work. The fact that this concept exists and women have found success after resigning from a job tells you there's a tangible thing you can lean on to quit in a way that doesn't leave you high and dry. You can literally map out the steps you'll take to ensure you have a safety net once you quit and follow it in order to confidently walk away.
6. "The future will reward me for the positive steps I take today."
This one is key. What we do today definitely affects our future, and sometimes, the longer we wait to do something, the more unsavory the future consequences. Whenever you take steps to ensure the future, you would be proud; it's always a win.
7. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so I will not fail."
This affirmation has a Biblical foundation. Simply the belief that we all were made wondrous beings and, as a human with infinite potential, that you are a creation of supreme reverence and respect, this affirmation is powerful. If you embody this belief, your steps are ordered, bold, and unstoppable, so there's really no space for succumbing to fear.
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8. "I can make bold steps and fulfill my highest potential."
If you struggle with the courage to quit a job, this is the perfect fake-it-'til-you-believe-it affirmation. You'll need to repeat this to yourself and push forward with a sense of near-delusion until this becomes a strengthening mantra. As the popular saying goes, "If you can't beat fear, do it scared."
9. "I am always protected, loved and cherished by the Most High."
Tap radically into faith when fear gets you down. You have to have a sense that you're always taken care of and that your destiny is protected. You're loved divinely by God, so you will always land on your feet one way or another. You are indeed blessed and highly favored.
10. "I can sustain success because I am resilient and savvy."
Think of a time in the past, before you got the job you have now. Didn't you apply and get rejections then? Didn't you have bills to pay then? Didn't you do well in that interview and get the gig, out of hundreds of other applicants? Well, what's different about today? You've gotten through before, and you will again.
You'll be a bigger success. You'll see lucrative change. You'll walk in your purpose. You'll serve. You'll make another company money and negotiate a better salary. You'll create more art and finance the life you want. You'll close more deals. You'll lead more initiatives. Why? Because you're that girl and been that girl. 'Nuff said.
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Credit: Malcolm Roberson
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My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
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‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
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