Life can have its amazing moments of joy, advancement, and fun, but there are other not-so-fun challenges that we have to face in order to advance and grow. Ending something that is not serving you is one of them, especially when it comes to your career. Sometimes, you won't be forced out of a job that you've outgrown or simply don't like. You'll need to walk away.
Quitting a job can be a scary thing to even think about doing, especially when you have bills and other obligations. It can be even more difficult when you're comfortable, making a nice amount of money, and seemingly have a dream life, but you've been called to something else. You just don't feel fulfilled, or there's a push to go in another direction.
Well, allow a few bits of information to encourage you to replace fear with factual empowerment: First off, many Black women in today's work environments consistently face discrimination, micro-aggressions, underemployment, and unequal pay. In fact, 2 in 5 Black women have left jobs due to the aforementioned reasons. (That's 40 percent, y'all.) And they've survived and thrived, going on to other jobs, starting businesses, becoming full-time stay-at-home moms, digital nomads, or pursuing other destinies.
I once quit a job even after finally being promoted. I got tired of watching and reporting on others fulfilling their highest entrepreneurial dreams, and I wanted to try self-employment for myself. I felt God pushing me to take charge of my own advancement.
There were several confirmations of this in the form of getting more invites to speak, to host events, and to consult entrepreneurs outside of the usual work I'd done with that company. It was just time. While I would have loved to have advanced further within that company after the promotion (and it was something I'd been working hard toward for the past 7 years working there), I just knew that I had to go.
A decade later, I'm still self-employed, and while it hasn't always been a glamorous, dreamy journey, leaving that job to transition into this life was the best decision I ever made. As my now 94-year-old Granny always told me, "Life goes on. Your survival doesn't depend on a job. Use your brain. Make yourself happy. Go live life."
If you're struggling with taking the step to quit your job and move on to the next phase of your life, here are 10 affirmations to give you the boost you need:
1. "I have the tools, knowledge, and faith to land on my feet."
Your training, education, and experience are invaluable and can be used for many different things. Tap into the power of that and think about your options based on those factors.
2. "I am unique, talented, and experienced, and my skills are needed."
Skills are valuable to companies, especially when they're specialized. Remember what you bring to the table.
3. "I am confident that this is indeed the right time."
God often confirms things for us after telling us. You might be watching a TikTok video and feel a bit of discomfort observing someone you follow taking a risk in their career. You might be inspired by a movie you're watching, and you can't sleep after. You might have responded extremely negatively to a typical email your boss sent you that almost took you over the edge. You might meet a new bae who keeps encouraging you to start that business. The timing is always divine.
4. "I have been given all that I need to succeed."
This is often said, and I've known it to be true: You have everything around you to succeed. Even when quitting a job and doing something else seems too "big" of a thing to do, if you really tap in and look around, you'll notice the resources you have that you might have ignored or overlooked before.
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5. "I can be smart with my money and set up an exit plan that will work."
Exit plans are a thing, and they work. The fact that this concept exists and women have found success after resigning from a job tells you there's a tangible thing you can lean on to quit in a way that doesn't leave you high and dry. You can literally map out the steps you'll take to ensure you have a safety net once you quit and follow it in order to confidently walk away.
6. "The future will reward me for the positive steps I take today."
This one is key. What we do today definitely affects our future, and sometimes, the longer we wait to do something, the more unsavory the future consequences. Whenever you take steps to ensure the future, you would be proud; it's always a win.
7. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so I will not fail."
This affirmation has a Biblical foundation. Simply the belief that we all were made wondrous beings and, as a human with infinite potential, that you are a creation of supreme reverence and respect, this affirmation is powerful. If you embody this belief, your steps are ordered, bold, and unstoppable, so there's really no space for succumbing to fear.
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8. "I can make bold steps and fulfill my highest potential."
If you struggle with the courage to quit a job, this is the perfect fake-it-'til-you-believe-it affirmation. You'll need to repeat this to yourself and push forward with a sense of near-delusion until this becomes a strengthening mantra. As the popular saying goes, "If you can't beat fear, do it scared."
9. "I am always protected, loved and cherished by the Most High."
Tap radically into faith when fear gets you down. You have to have a sense that you're always taken care of and that your destiny is protected. You're loved divinely by God, so you will always land on your feet one way or another. You are indeed blessed and highly favored.
10. "I can sustain success because I am resilient and savvy."
Think of a time in the past, before you got the job you have now. Didn't you apply and get rejections then? Didn't you have bills to pay then? Didn't you do well in that interview and get the gig, out of hundreds of other applicants? Well, what's different about today? You've gotten through before, and you will again.
You'll be a bigger success. You'll see lucrative change. You'll walk in your purpose. You'll serve. You'll make another company money and negotiate a better salary. You'll create more art and finance the life you want. You'll close more deals. You'll lead more initiatives. Why? Because you're that girl and been that girl. 'Nuff said.
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In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
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If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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