What inspired me to write this piece is very simple. Most of us spend at least 6-8 hours in our bedroom, so I personally think that it should be the most invested room, décor-wise, in the entire house. Like me? I've worked from home since 2000 and I spend a ton of time in my living room. It's pretty warm and cozy, no doubt. However, the time I've slowly put into making my bedroom the way it is now? Whether it's a catnap or retiring for the evening, I'm literally thrilled whenever it's time to go into that space. And that's because of how I've decorated it.
Spring is the time of year when a lot of us do some cleaning and adjusting to our surroundings. If your bedroom is "cool" yet you know, deep down, that it really could be much better, here are some inexpensive ways (like literally under $50 a pop except for the wake-up light which is around $150) to make your bedroom the one room in the house that evokes so much calm, peace and beauty that you almost, quite literally, can't stand it.
1. Buy Yourself a Wake-Up Light
Unlike a lot of people I know, I actually like it when daylight savings time causes us to "fall back". That's because I enjoy the fall and winter seasons, including the fact that it stays darker longer. Which is why I have blackout curtains hanging up in my bedroom; to me, the darker it is when I retire for the evening (or try and catch a nap), the better. Yet regardless of the time of year that you prefer, something that you might want to invest in is a wake-up light. The long short of it is, it mimics sunrise in order to ease you into light instead of "jar" you with it. Some come with alarm clocks and lighting settings that makes it easier on your eyes to read before turning in. If this is something you'd like to add to your bedroom, there is a list of some really great ones right here.
2. Install Some Color-Changing Light Bulbs
Speaking of lighting, overhead lighting is pretty much the worst when it comes to your bedroom. In the daytime, go with natural light (if you don't want anyone looking into your bedroom from the outside in, you can always get your bedroom windows professionally tinted, so that you can see out and others can't see inside). At night, how about some LED (LED ones last longer and are better for the environment) color-changing light bulbs? Some also mimic the sun by being warmer in the morning and evening and cooler in the middle of the day. However, a more dramatic spin is to get the kind of bulbs that literally change to a variety of colors. Some are even remote- or voice-activated (I know, right?). You can read up on some of the best of the best by checking out The Spruce's "The 7 Best Color-Changing LED Bulbs of 2021".
3. Get Bedding That’s in Calming Colors
Color psychology is very much so a real thing. So when it comes to creating a warmer and cozier space in your bedroom, adding colors that are proven to calm you is your best bet.
Lavender symbolizes serenity, grace and silence. Blue-grey is all about sophistication and elegance. Dusty pink evokes femininity and beauty. Sage green is rooted in wisdom, peace and growth. Beige promotes internal peace of mind, simplicity and warmth. Taupe represents modesty, maturity and dignity. Sea blue is all about calm, inspiration and health. And pale orange represents creativity, happiness and encouragement.
These are just some of the colors that can help to calm your senses, even if you use them as merely accent colors to your overall bedroom décor.
4. Fill a Diffuser with Lavender, Bergamot or Vetiver
It's one thing to have a room that is visually beautiful. You're taking it up a few notches to have one that smells absolutely amazing. As far as your bedroom goes, scented soy candles are one option. Only, if you're someone who doesn't open up your windows a lot (for continual air circulation's sake) or you forget to blow your candles out, well, you can see how problematic that could become.
The alternative? An essential oil diffuser. Not only is it safer but the overall benefits are numerous. Essential oil diffusers are able to help to relieve anxiety, boost your immunity, calm your senses, eliminate odors and improve the quality if your sleep—all things that you definitely want to transpire in your bedroom, right? As far as some of the best scents to use, lavender reduces your blood pressure and heart rate and helps you to sleep better, bergamot eases the feelings that are associated with anxiety and stress and, vetiver calms nervousness, helps with anxiety and is even an oil that has a reputation of helping with healing that is associated with emotional trauma.
5. Put a Faux Tree in Your Bedroom (or Hang Some Ceiling Plants)
Without question, one of the best additions to my bedroom is this tall faux plant that I have in one of my corners. There's something about it that makes me feel really peace-filled and relaxed. And just why is it fake? Although I did grow up with quite a few plants in my home, I don't really like the upkeep that they require. And since a lot of stores have some pretty impressive fake ones these days (lots of arts and crafts stores have them, for instance), I decided to take the low-maintenance route.
Speaking of greenery, another awesome option is to hang some plants from your ceiling. You can put up some literal ones (you can check out a MasterClass on how to do that here) or you can find some fake greenery vines (also at arts and crafts stores) and come up with creative ways to hang them. If you want to do something like a vine wall, a sistah broke down how she did it on YouTube. Check it out here.
6. Design a Floral Accent Wall
Speaking of stuff on your walls, if flowers are more your thing, another great idea would be to DIY a variation of your own floral accent wall. You could go to the same arts and crafts store that you would get a faux tree or some fake greenery from for some of your favorite blooms. I actually checked out a video from a sistah who made one for her wedding out of fake flowers from The Dollar Tree, chile. If you want to see how she pulled it off, all you need to do is click right here. Another sistah did one in under 20 minutes (I know, right?). You can see how she did it by going here.
7. Add a Window Treatment That Includes Fairy Lights
Again, I'm someone who prefers to sleep in pitch darkness. However, I do find something really inviting and beautiful about bedrooms that have fairy or twinkle lights somewhere in it. If you're either over the way your bedroom window currently looks or you've been trying to figure out how not use the starkness of your overhead lighting so much, a cool idea can be to add some fairy lights to your curtains. If you adore that idea yet, at the same time, it seems like it might be a bit of a fire hazard, no worries—there are window curtain lights that exist. They're pretty affordable too. You can read more about them by checking out Penlight's article, "12 Best Window Curtain Lights (Buyer's Guide)".
8. Put Down a Faux Fur Rug
Something that I semi-recently purchased for my own bedroom is a big ole' faux fur rug. It's honestly one of the best investments I've made for my home in a hot minute because it definitely makes my bedroom space look and feel cozier. Plus, since it's right beside my bed, I like the way it feels on my feet when I wake up. I found mine for around 40 bucks. Everywhere from Walmart and Overstock to Wayfair and even Etsy carries them.
9. Purchase a Cable Knit Throw
Pretty much, in every room of my house, there are throw blankets. I like how they can help to bring a pop of color to any room. Plus, it doesn't matter what the weather is like outdoors, I'm the kind of person who likes to snuggle up underneath one while I'm listening to music or watching television. Well, the kind of throw that looks really beautiful in a bedroom is a large cable knit one. If you're someone who likes to knit on your down time, you can start now and probably have a nice-sized-non-rushed one ready by fall (some step-by step instructions are listed here). Or, if you'd rather have one right here and now, Walmart, Target and home improvement stores sell them. I'm gonna be honest, though. Some of the best ones I've seen are on Etsy's site. Just go there and put "cable knit throw" in the search field.
10. Hang Up a Self-Love Mission Statement
Something that will easily—and instantly—make any room more aesthetically appealing is artwork…or at least something on the walls. Let me tell it, bare walls are the absolute worst. And while mission statements are traditionally reserved for places like home offices, I want to encourage you to consider creating one that you can design, blow up and frame to hang either above your bedroom or on the wall across from it (so that you can look at it, every morning that you wake up). The theme should be self-love. A literal mission statement about why you deserve to love yourself and how you will go about doing it on a daily basis. It is time and effort well-spent.
11. Put Some Throw Pillows (on the Floor)
I don't know about you, but I used to have corners of my room that were barer than I would like for them to be. The dilemma is, I didn't want to put any furniture there because it would take up too much space and I already had things that I needed like a lamp. For me, the solution has been big throw pillows.
It's another wonderful way to add a pop of color that you might like without going to overboard. And it's another easy way to make your room feel warm and peace-filled without spending a lot of cash in order to do it.
12. Create a Reading Nook
Reading in bed is great. Still, if you'd prefer to use that space solely for sex and sleep, how about making yourself a little reading nook? All you need is a small table, a comfy chair and little things that will personalize the space like perhaps a plant or some flowers; a footstool; some candles; a mug (so that you have something to put your favorite drink in); a reading lamp and anything else that will encourage you to go over and make time for (at least) a chapter a day. I've even seen someone turn a closet into a nook (you can see it for yourself here). It's the perfect final touch to making your bedroom tranquil and beautiful.
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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