

Vaginas are dope. That's why I write about 'em so much. I like to provide tips on how to care for them, facts that you may not know about them, ways to keep them as youthful as possible, how to properly wash them, foods that you should feed them, what to do if yours is stressed TF out—the list really does go on and on. Well today, in honor of being just a couple of weeks away from Christmas, I thought it would be a good idea to offer up a wish list on behalf of every vagina owner who is reading this right now. Because, when you really stop and think about all that your vagina—and vulva and clitoris—do for you, don't you think you should put together a little stocking with your vagina's name—relatively speaking, of course—on it? Me too, sis. Here are 10 gift ideas that your va-jay-jay will be oh so very thrilled with. I can promise you that.
1. Some New Panties
As we all prepare to go into a new year, an article that I wrote for the platform, a couple of years back, that I would encourage you to check out sometime is, "When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?" You might be floored by how much stuff you should've tossed—chile, years ago. When it comes to panties specifically, did you know that we're all supposed to get new ones every six months? A big part of the reason is because between passing gas and the washing machine, our panties eventually end up with tiny amounts of fecal matter that remain in them and can ultimately lead to an infection. So, if some of your panties have been in your life, shoot, since your college years, I can confidently speak for your vagina when I say that it's begging for you to treat it to some new underwear this year. At least 12 pair. Oh, and organic cotton is best if you want your vagina to "breathe", by the way.
2. A Menstrual Cup
As I sit here waiting to go into menopause (I'm not kidding; at 46 and in total peace about not birthing children, every time my period rolls around, I'm like "REALLY?!"), something that I wish I took more seriously, hell, years ago, is menstrual cups. I've been using one for many months now and it truly is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Since most have the expiration date of a decade, I don't have to spend money on pads (which makes them economical and good for the environment). When I make sure that it's "sealed in" properly, there is absolutely no leaking. Also, since they're made from silicone and adjust to the shape of my body, I don't feel them at all.
While there is a learning curve when it comes to putting a menstrual cup in and taking it out (without making a mess), I really could do an entire commercial, TED Talk and novella on the benefits of having a menstrual cup in your life. If you don't own one yet, it's a stocking stuffer for your vagina that you definitely will not regret.
3. An Herbal Heating Pad
If your period comes with cramps that would make you say all of the worst cuss words, if only you had enough strength to do so, I'm pretty sure that you probably already have a heating pad. This year, take it up a notch and cop yourself an herbal one. The cool thing about products that have all-natural herbs in them is the aromatherapy benefits are unmatched. Aromatherapy reduces stress, soothes discomfort, strengthens immunity, induces sound sleep and even kills bacteria.
And the great thing about a lot of the herbal heating pads that are currently on the market is you can zap them in the microwave for 60-90 seconds and they're ready to go. An affordable one that's worth checking out is located right here.
4. Padded Biker Shorts/Panties
If you like to ride your bike or you're in a spinning class, do your vagina a huge favor and invest in a pair of padded biker shorts. Not only will they help to take stress and strain off of some of your lower pressure points, they can reduce any irritation that can occur from all of the friction that comes from riding too. Another great perk? Padded biker shorts tend to absorb more moisture than regular ones, so that your nether regions don't cause you to end up with a nasty lil' yeast infection. Give thanks.
5. Vulva Exfoliant
Something that I don't think gets brought up enough is the importance of exfoliating—not your vagina (the inner tube that extends from your vulva to your uterus) but your vulva which is the outer part of your vagina (the outer skin that is around your vaginal opening). If you're prone to getting ingrown hairs there or you notice that your skin is slightly scaly or discolored, something that can help is a vulva exfoliant. Certain brands on the market that can help you out include Bikini Bump Blaster Ingrown Hair & Bikini Bump Eliminator, Grumari Body Exfoliant or (a personal favorite because it's Black-owned and I totally dig the name) Nookie For Your Cookie Scrub.
6. Sweet Almond and Avocado Oil Blend
When it comes to keeping the skin of your vulva nice and moisturized, it really doesn't get much better than sweet almond oil. That's because it's an oil that contains vitamins A and E, along with omega 3-fatty acids and zinc. Vitamin A helps to produce new skin cells, Vitamin E supports the healing of damaged ones, fatty acids prevent premature aging (yes, our vulva can age, just like the rest of us) and zinc has anti-inflammatory properties that can fade any scarring that you may have. If you add to sweet almond oil, some avocado oil, its Vitamin E, potassium and lecithin will help your vulva to produce more collagen while keeping its skin super smooth too. This non-irritating blend is ideal as a lubricant (only if you're NOT planning on using a condom; oil and latex do NOT mix) or if you want to apply an all-natural moisturizer to your vulva after stepping out of the shower or bath.
7. Rosemary, Mint and Parsley
This is definitely the cheapest recommendation on the list, but that doesn't make it any less relevant or necessary. Now listen to me on this—the belief that foods can make your vagina tastejust like them is about as ridiculous as thinking that there is a product that can repair your hair's split ends (there's not). The reality is that, for the most part, vaginas taste like a combo of water, metal (blood), salty/sour (sweat). Based on how much water you consume and the time of month it is, some of those tastes may be stronger than others—and all of them are perfectly natural and normal.
That said, there are foods that can make your vagina taste less acidic and/or smell more inviting. For instance, try drinking water that has some rosemary, mint, and/or parsley leaves in it. Because rosemary is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-microbial, mint is a great detoxifier and parsley is loaded with antioxidants, putting one or all of these into your water can help to make your vagina smell and even taste more refreshing (still like a vagina, though which is just fine).
8. Nonporous Sex Toys
Looking to get yourself a new (or upgraded) sex toy this year? If so, please make sure that you go with one that is nonporous. Not only do they feel a whole lot smoother, since they are also water-resistant, you can enjoy them in the bath or shower. Actually, though, those are not my main reasons for making sure that this goes on the list. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out in these streets who don't clean their sex toys as often and/or thoroughly as they should. As a result, bacteria gets stuck up in them and—I'm pretty sure I don't need to expound on where that can lead (eww). Nonporous sex toys make this a non-issue. So, although you still need to cleanse those bad boys, you significantly decrease your chances of irritating your vagina in a major way if your toys are nonporous to begin with.
9. At-Home pH Balance Kit
I'm pretty sure that you know, at least a little something about what a pH balance is. Still, just to make sure that we're all on the same page, the simplified technical breakdown is it's the balance that lies between the acidity and alkalinity levels that are within your system (for the most part, your lungs and kidneys play a key role). When it comes to your vagina specifically, a healthy balance is somewhere between 3.8-4.5. When it's too acidic (above a 4.5) or too alkaline (below a 3.8), it can result in an overgrowth of bacteria. One way to proactively prevent this from becoming an issue is to test the pH balance of your vagina from time to time. You can do this by taking an at-home pH balance kit.
And what if an at-home test does reveal that your va-jay-jay is a little "off-balance"? Well, if you're not noticing any itching, burning, or irritation (and you've been having safe sex), drinking more water, taking some probiotics, eating garlic (it is a powerful anti-fungal food), using condoms (semen can throw off your pH balance), getting more exercise, sleeping naked (so that your vagina can breathe) and de-stressing are all things that can help to bring your balance back. If you'd like to get yourself a few pH balance tests, some options are here, here, and here.
10. At-Home STI/STD Kit
Here's the deal about STDs. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are approximately 20 million new STD cases annually with half of them being people between the ages of 15-24. Y'all, not only is that a good enough reason to wear a condom during sex, it's also a reminder of why it's important to get tested, preferably every six months, too. And when it comes to a new sex partner, if you want to be extra sure that they're "I'm good" is accurate, there are at-home STI/STD tests that you both can take. Many of them, you can take in five minutes and get your results back within one business week. I won't lie to you, at-home STI/STD tests aren't the cheapest things on the planet (they are roughly around $100). But if they can assure you that you and your partner and your vagina are safe—isn't it worth it? I totally agree. Happy Christmas (Va-jay-jay) Shopping, y'all!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Saweetie On Healing, Self-Discovery, And Why She’s "Dating Her Career" In 2025
Saweetie is stepping into 2025 with a renewed sense of purpose and self and an unwavering commitment to her career. The 31-year-old rapper is the cover star of InStyle’s Spring 2025 music-themed digital issue, where she opens up about her transformative journey to Africa, how she’s embracing divine timing, and why she’s leaving distractions behind as she gears up for the release of her debut album.
While 2021 appeared to be a year of big wins for Saweetie career-wise, the "NANi" artist didn't hide the fact that the year also marked a "traumatic time" for her life as she navigated heartbreak following a very publicized relationship. At the time, shaving her head was her way of starting over.
Recalling her headspace back then, she told InStyle, "I thought life would get better, but girl, life just kept life-ing… Surrendering to God and the universe has actually gotten me places. I used to be a control freak. I used to try to micromanage everything. I think we resort to micromanaging everything because we feel helpless."
In the time since, Saweetie has been deep in her introspection work, embarking on a self-discovery journey to Africa inspired by a DNA test that revealed she had 51 percent African ancestry. What she found as the result of the life-changing trip was not only a professional evolution but a spiritual one as well.
"In Africa, they're all going with the flow, they're not rushed. What I found is [that] when you surrender to divine timing, everything falls into place, rather than trying to force something to happen,” she shared with the publication. “I feel like I found my voice in Africa," she said later.
Saweetie's evolution didn't stop with her voice, in fact, her time abroad allowed her to heal and peel back layers of self-protection she had unconsciously built. She continued, "I think that's why I've been soul-searching because I wanted to have pride in who I am as a woman. Like, where do I come from? What do I believe in? What do I stand for? What do I not stand for? What do I love? What do I not love?
"And because I went through a lot of those emotions in Africa, it helped me pull back so many layers of this wall that I put up…"
Speaking of what she loves and what she doesn't love, Saweetie also gave a glimpse into her romantic life and let it be known her relationship status is "dating her career." While the "Richtivities" Queen has had her fair share of high-profile relationships, she is entering her focused era.
Saweetie shared that in the past, she let herself get "slightly distracted" but she now proudly proclaims that anything in her life that isn't right can go left because it's alignment over everything. "Anything that may be trying to compete with my goals, with my ambitions, with my priorities… I no longer second guess my career and if you can't understand it, then respectfully, get out of my way."
For the full cover story, check out InStyle's Spring 2025 digital issue here.
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