Zendaya and Tom Holland are one of the hottest young couples in Hollywood. After being cast together in Spider-Man: Homecoming in 2016, fans were hoping that the two were more than just co-stars due to their on-screen chemistry, and after years of speculation, fans got their wish.
It’s been said that the best relationships start off as friendships and it looks like that’s the case with Zendaya and Tom. They both met while filming Spider-Man and in an 2017 interview with People, the English actor referred to Zendaya as his best friend.
“We are like the best of friends. She’s so great and amazing,” Tom said. “I’m a little worried [about dealing with fame … but] Zendaya is super famous and she’s been through this, and I just call her up and say, ‘How do I manage being famous?’ I’m very glad I have a friend like her.”
Zendaya and Tom Holland: A Relationship Timeline
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
Adorbs!
However, it seems that they have been in an on-and-off relationship as they have been linked to other people since initially sparking romance rumors in 2017.
The Disney alum reportedly dated her Euphoria co-star Jacob Elordi in 2020 and Tom was rumored to have a romance with family friend Olivia Bolton in 2019. But like any on-and-off relationship, they found their way back to each other.
Here’s a timeline of Zendaya and Tom’s relationship:
2016
The 28-year-old actress made her first appearance on her now beau’s Instagram back in July 2016. While it appeared like an innocent pool day with friends, this could also be looked at as the beginning of their romance.
2017
Wait wait...my favorite is when it says we go on vacations together HA! I haven't been on a vacation in years!😂😭🤣hbu @TomHolland1996 ??? https://t.co/zSkvcfzzTa
— Zendaya (@Zendaya) July 13, 2017
@Zendaya Does the press tour count 😂😝 https://t.co/2WsstZPyde
— Tom Holland (@TomHolland1996) July 13, 2017
While Tom said that he and Zendaya were just friends in the People July interview, another source claimed that they were more than that. The source said that they began dating while filming Spider-Man.
“They’ve been super careful to keep it private and out of the public eye but they’ve gone on vacations with each other and try and spend as much time as possible with one another,” claimed the source. “They’re both really ambitious and they challenge each other — but, most importantly, they make each other crack up. They seem to have a really similar sense of humor and love joking around together. They have great banter back and forth.”
However, both of the actors denied the claims on Twitter. “Wait wait...my favorite is when it says we go on vacations together HA! I haven’t been on a vacation in years! hbu @TomHolland1996???,” Zendaya tweeted. Tom retweeted her and wrote. “Does the press tour count?”
The rumors didn’t stop there. In December of the same year, Tom had an outing with Zendaya and her parents. Page Six reported that the actress’ parents seemed to be “charmed” by the Englishman.
2018
Both Zendaya and Tom were pretty lowkey this year, sans a couple of Instagram posts Tom shared of the Dune actress. In May, he praised his “mate” for her MET Gala look. “All hail the queen. Killing it mate 🙌🏻,” he wrote.
Later on in September, he wished the Euphoria star a happy birthday. “Me, myself and the birthday girl. Happy birthday mate - keep killing it and paving the way for the rest of us ♥️,” he shared on Instagram.
2019
David M. Benett/Dave Benett/WireImage
In 2019, the Spider-Man co-stars were reportedly dating other people. Zendaya sparked dating rumors after she was spotted vacationing with her Euphoria co-star Jacob in August 2019. Tom was also seeing Olivia.
2020
Paparazzi caught Zendaya and Jacob kissing in New York City in February, but they never confirmed that they were a couple. Tom, however, broke up with Olivia, but seemingly confirmed that he was back off the market after he shared a photo of Nadia Parkes on Instagram.
2021: Tom and Zendaya are back together.
Zendaya playfully shading Tom in a since-deleted tweet back in July.
In July 2021, paparazzi photos of Zendaya and Tom kissing appeared online, which sent Twitter in a tailspin.
Esteban Camarillo/Instagram
A month later, the pair were spotted attending a wedding together in Esteban Camarillo's IG Story, a fellow guest at the wedding. In regards to romance rumors, Tom and Zendaya kept it cute and still on mute.
However, a source told US Weekly, “They’re both not one to make their relationship public. They’re private when it comes to dating so any photos that have come out would’ve just been them going about their business and not knowing photographers were around.”
In September 2021, not one to shy away from shouting out Zendaya when she's slaying, Tom shared a photo of him and the beauty on his Instagram. "My MJ," it read, "have the happiest of birthdays. Gimme a call when your up xxx."
A month later in October, while on a promo tour for the box office smash Dune, Zendaya took a BFF test with co-star and best friend, actor Timothée Chalamet. One of the questions the BuzzFeed series asked was about their biggest celebrity crushes.
Timothée cheekily responds for Zendaya by saying, "Easy. Tom Holland." To which Zendaya laughs knowingly before answering the same question for her co-star. The adorable moment starts at 1:01.
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
It wasn’t until December 5, however, that they made their first red carpet appearance as a couple. They were all smiles as they attended a photocall in London for their film Spider-Man: No Way Home.
After news broke of their relationship, the actors openly gushed about each other during interviews. Speaking with GQ in November, both Zendaya and Tom spoke highly of each other.
“Having her in my life was so instrumental to my sanity,” Tom said. “She is so good at being the role model for young guys and girls. When anyone comes up, like, ‘Can I have a picture?’ it’s never a bad time. Whereas my initial reaction was: ‘Why are you talking to me? Leave me alone.’”
Zendaya shared, “The equal sentiment [we both share] is just that when you really love and care about somebody, some moments or things, you wish were your own…"
“I think loving someone is a sacred thing and a special thing and something that you want to deal with and go through and experience and enjoy amongst the two people that love each other.”
2022
Compared to the red carpet moments and spotlight much of their No Way Home press tour was in 2021, Tom and Zendaya kept their relationship out of the public eye in 2022, except for putting engagement rumors to rest here and there and PDA-filled paparazzi photos.
There was one rumor though that Tom flew 4,000 miles from where he was filming The Crowded Room in New York to Budapest where Zendaya was filming the Dune sequel just to visit his girlfriend. You can see the proof of that here.
2023
Tom and Zendaya may be all about keeping their relationship out of the limelight as much as possible, but private doesn't mean secret and 2023 was a year where the private pair dropped hints about their love through sound bytes. "Our relationship is something that we are incredibly protective of and we want to keep as sacred as possible. We don’t think that we owe it to anyone, it’s our thing, and it has nothing to do with our careers," Tom shared with The Hollywood Reporter in 2023.
He also referred to their relationship as something he holds "most sacred" in his life, later sharing in an interview for Jay Shetty's podcast that he and Zendaya "both feel very strongly that that is the healthiest way to move on as a couple."
In a September 2023 interview with Elle Zendaya echoed those sentiments, sharing how she feels about Tom and "protecting her peace" by holding their relationship close to her chest. "Parts of my life, I accept, are going to be public. I can’t not be a person and live my life and love the person I love. But also, I do have control over what I choose to share. It’s about protecting the peace and letting things be your own but also not being afraid to exist," she told Elle.
Also during that month, the two were spotted amongst A-listers enjoying Queen Bey's bday show during the Renaissance World Tour for date night.
2024
Date night in November 2024
Tom Holland/Instagram
With Zendaya's 2024 flawless back-to-back press tours for Dune: Part Two and Challengers, and Tom's stage role in the West End production of Romeo and Juliet and the release of his non-alcoholic beer brand Bero, there was no shortage of moments where the couple showcased their love for one another in their own way.
From very public Instagram Story displays of affection to holding hands behind the scenes at after parties or events, Zendaya and Tom were constantly spotted boo'd up and showing that their love was stronger than ever despite the lack of red-carpet appearances together.
In a February 2024 puppy interview with Buzzfeed, Zendaya gave her main man a massive shoutout when asked about "rizz" and said that his rizz works beautifully for her. "I think someone who has beautiful charisma, not on the Dune cast, but I personally—works for me—is Mr. Tom Holland. I’m more shy and kind of quiet, so it takes a little bit more to pull me out of my shell. But he’s great at just talking to people and getting to know people. You see him on talk shows and stuff like that. He’s just naturally very good at that. Whereas for me, I’ve definitely had to pull it out of me a little bit. So, he’s got that natural gift.”
2025: Zendaya and Tom are engaged
Zendaya attends the 82nd Annual Golden Globes Awards rocking what appears to be an engagement ring.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Starting the new year off strong, Zendaya sparked engagement rumors while walking the Golden Globes red carpet and sporting a sizable rock on her left hand that suspiciously did not match the vibes of the Bulgari jewelry she wore as accessories to the event. The rumors have since been confirmed with a source talking to PEOPLE, sharing that Tom has wanted to propose to Zendaya "for a while" and over the holidays was the perfect time to do it.
In a Dec. 18 interview for the Dish podcast, Tom teased his "secret" holiday plans with Zendaya for Christmas 2024 and shared that his hope for Christmas in the new year was that their families would be spending the holidays together. And now we know why. The actor had been planning to pop the question. He told the podcast, "I think what we'd like to start doing is rather than spending it with each family each year is bring the families together. That's what I think we want to do next time. This time, because we're both actors, we're terrible at organizing things, so it hasn't happened yet. The thought's there. The idea has been planted."
At the start of the year, comments Tom made in his cover story for Men's Health about respecting Zendaya's moment on red carpets by not walking them alongside her were making their rounds on social media, and now the couple we've all rooted for are engaged! In it, the 28-year-old actor said his reasoning was, "because it’s not my moment, it’s her moment, and if we go together, it’s about us." We love the way the Spider-Man star is never threatened by our girl's light! Congrats to the happy couple!
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Featured image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/WireImage via Getty Images
Originally published on December 14, 2021, but has since been updated.
- Tom Holland And Zendaya Relationship Timeline ›
- Zendaya and Tom Holland's Relationship: A Complete Timeline ›
- Tom Holland And Zendaya Addressed The Viral Kissing Paparazzi ... ›
- Zendaya and Tom Holland's Relationship: A Complete Timeline ... ›
- Zendaya and Tom Holland's Relationship Timeline: 'Spider-Man,' More ›
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July 2025 Astrology Overview
Uranus Enters Gemini
Uranus makes an important transit this month and enters Gemini on July 7 after being in Taurus since 2018. Uranus in Gemini is a wildcard, and anything can happen during this time. With Uranus being the planet of change, upheaval, and breakthrough, and Gemini being the sign of communication, there is a new opening appearing in life, especially regarding creative and business matters.
A few days later, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, grounding all the energy we have experienced the past month. This Full Moon is about creating space for more security, understanding, and purpose to enter your life, and to own your power in creating your dreams.
Saturn Goes Retrograde, Then Mercury
Saturn goes Retrograde on July 13 until November 27, and Saturn Retrograde brings a push towards growth, but also examines what has been restricting you from doing so. With Saturn currently in Aries, you may be feeling more challenged in standing up for yourself and your beliefs and owning your growth. It’s about reminding yourself how far you have come and knowing that things can get better for you at any moment.
A few days later, we have Mercury going retrograde in Leo, and this Mercury Retrograde is also feeling more personal. It’s about examining how you express yourself and live in your confidence, and overcoming miscommunication with others by showing up exactly as you are authentically.
Leo Season Begins, Chiron Goes Retrograde & Venus Enters Cancer
Leo Season officially begins on July 22, bringing more sunshine after the emotional waters of Cancer Season. Even though we are in Retrograde Season now, with the Sun in Leo, we find the power to overcome even the most trying times. On July 24, we have a New Moon in Leo, making this a powerful New Moon to set intentions for your inner power, creativity, hobbies, self-expression, and where you want to shine in life. Chiron goes retrograde on July 30, and Venus enters Cancer on the same day, and we leave July, entering a new door in love.
One that is more healing and passionate than before. Overall, July is a month of closure and one that is creating the new ground for more purpose, excitement, and love to grow. Keep reading for your Sun, Moon, and rising sign below to see what July has in store for you.
Jump to Your Sign
Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleA lot of things are brought to your attention this month, Aries. Neptune entered your sign this year for some time to come, and this month Neptune goes retrograde in Aries until the end of October. For you, this means you need some more time to process, understand yourself and your emotional world better, and you are clearing the fog. You are entering Retrograde Season with a deep inner clarity, but also an understanding that your healing doesn’t need to be rushed.
Mid-month, Saturn goes retrograde in Aries until September 1, and it’s important not to be hard on yourself right now. You have a strong urge to transform your life this month, but things may not be happening as quickly with the retrogrades in your sign. On July 30, Chiron also goes retrograde in Aries until 2026, and you end the month in introspection, with the need to take care of your health more. This month is a reminder that you can make plans, but divine timing will always have a say.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a month of closure for you, Taurus. You begin the month with Uranus going retrograde in your 2nd house of income, and it’s a good time to prepare for a rainy day. Uranus is going to be shifting the dynamics in your life when it comes to your financial investments, earnings, and sense of stability, and it’s time to open your mind to what is possible for you and your abundance in life. You are learning to be fearless when it comes to owning your authenticity, and knowing that who you are is unique and worthy of love.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon happening in your 9th house, creating an opportunity for travel plans to follow through, or you just feeling more adventurous in general. Mid-month is about letting go of old belief systems that don’t resonate with your heart, and clearing the way for the new to be built in your life. You end the month with Chiron retrograde in your 12th house of endings, and you are learning through what is transforming in your life.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are a powerhouse this month, Gemini. This is a month of achievement, success, and growing more deeply into your power. We begin the month with Venus entering your sign from July 4 until July 30, and love is taking you to new heights. This is a good month for making relationship developments, and for being received well. You are growing in your inner confidence and self-love, and this is creating more harmony in your partnerships as well.
One of the most important astrological transits of the year happens for you this month, and that is Uranus entering your sign on July 7, where it will remain until 2033. With Uranus now being in your sign, you are entering a journey of freedom, rebellion, self-expression, breakthrough, and immense change. You are dancing to the beat of your own drum and will be surprising others by how much life changes for you over the next eight or so years. We end the month with Mercury going retrograde in your 3rd house of communication, remember to think things through as you close out the month.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a month of communication, creativity, and self-expression, Cancer. Cancer Season is here for you, and you are moving through the month claiming your power, speaking from the heart, and balancing your needs with others’ needs in your life. The Full Moon of the month on July 10 is your opportunity to let go of anything that has been weighing you down in your close partnerships, and to create room for more stable, committed, and fulfilling love to enter.
On July 24, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be happening in your 2nd house of income, abundance, and self-worth. You are evaluating how you want to show up and ask for what you need, and are preparing for a financial breakthrough. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your financial world and to see new ways to create a stronger foundation for yourself here. We end the month with Venus entering your sign from July 30 until August 25, and love feels a little more intense, passionate, and purposeful now.
Your guidance for the month overall is to know that you are the magnet for the things you want in your life, and that you have the power to rise above and claim them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJoy is what this month is about for you, Leo. You are entering a fulfilling time in your life, where everything comes together for you better than you have ever imagined it to. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign this month from July 18 - August 11, but it’s not stopping you from enjoying your life and living out your truth. You are moving through this Retrograde fearlessly and learning more about yourself in the process.
Leo Season officially begins on July 18, and it’s your time to shine your light, Leo. With the Sun in Leo, you feel like your authentic self is being recognized and loved, and you are healing from a space of feeling like you have to do it all alone. A few days later, we have a Leo New Moon on July 24, and this is the time to set your intentions for your future and for how you want to show up in the world moving forward. July is your month of fulfillment through growth, compassion, and community, and for feeling like you have everything you need.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is all about perspective, Virgo. You are getting inspired this month, creating new plans for your life, and owning an adventurous side to yourself. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations for most of the month, July is a great time to manifest your dreams and to feel more powerful in creating your reality. Some Virgos could be traveling this month and seeing previous plans through, and you are gaining clarity on a lot of aspects of your life by doing things in a new way right now.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month and will be retrograding through an area of your life that has to do with healing, closure, spirituality, and your dream world. Pay attention to the messages you are receiving during this time, because they are guiding you towards your healing and personal empowerment. The New Moon on July 24 will also be highlighting your need to close one chapter of your life and begin another, and you are closing out the month with a new perspective in your heart and soul.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of fulfillment for you, Libra. A lot of things are falling into place for you in July, and you are owning your freedom and independence right now. Uranus enters your 9th house of travel at the beginning of the month, and you are entering a new journey in your life where you do things in your own way and when you break free of the status quo. You are growing so much mentally this year, and July is when the work you have done internally is being reflected externally.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home, family, stability, and emotional harmony, and you are finding your balance. This is a Full Moon of forgiveness, and one where you are recognizing the power in self-care and taking care of your inner world. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Leo, and you are seeing a breakthrough happen within your friendships, community, and support system. You have some exciting opportunities coming your way this month, and you are living life in your own way and on your own terms.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is about protecting your energy, Scorpio. You have been setting your intentions and creating the life you dream of, and it’s important to create boundaries from those who don’t understand your vision or support you right now. With Uranus moving out of your 7th house of love and entering your 8th house of transformation, after changing things up in your relationships for the past eight years, you are ready to break free from old pain, experiences, or uneasiness in love.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on July 18, and will be retrograde in your house of career. This is the time to take a step back, go over your goals, and give life time to catch up to your dreams. The New Moon on July 24 will be activating this same area of your life, and you are getting glimpses of what is possible for you and your sense of success as you end the month. Overall, your main message this month is to not give up on who you are and what you are building towards, and to know that you are on the right path.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a powerful month of growth for you, Sagittarius. You have the Midas Touch, and you are creating abundance in your life. With Venus and Uranus moving into your 7th house of love, partnership, harmony, and wealth, there are a lot of new opportunities coming your way right now. You are someone who is out-of-the-box and does things their own way, and this energy is serving you well right now and making you a magnet for new opportunities to enter your life.
Mid-month, we have a Full Moon in your 2nd house of abundance and self-worth, and you are feeling more appreciation and value in your life. Previous financial intentions and plans are coming to fruition for you now, and you are ready to let go of the self-doubt of it all. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this New Moon is asking you to take more creative risks and to trust that you are on the right path, even if it looks different than others. If it feels right for you, it probably is, Sag.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything comes to fruition for you this month, Capricorn. July is your month of achievement, closure, and claiming your power, and you are doing so confidently. The Sun is in your house of love and partnership for most of the month, and July creates a space of happiness and commitment within your close relationships. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, and life comes full circle for you. Everything you have been building in your life over the past year is being reflected to you now, and you are feeling a lot of gratitude for where life is today.
Mid-month, your ruling planet Saturn, goes retrograde, and this is shifting the energy in the home. Whatever dynamics that have felt a little shaky for you in the home or with family are being addressed now, and you are learning the importance of healing your inner world and doing the work internally. With a New Moon in your 8th house of transformation to end the month, you are getting a little more vulnerable in July, and it’s surprising others, but even yourself. This is your month of closing one door in your life in peace, and seeing a new one bloom in the process.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is about taking things slow and thinking things through, Aquarius. Relationship dynamics in your life could be causing some challenges or confusion, and it’s best to choose your battles wisely right now. With the Sun in your house of health and daily rituals for most of the month, it’s important to take care of your well-being before you try to fix anything else. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of healing, closure, and spirituality, and this is a good time to reflect on everything you want to let go of in your life right now and what you no longer want to carry forward with you into your new beginnings.
Saturn, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde in your house of communication this month, and over the next few months, you are going to be learning about the power of your words. Make sure you are only speaking of things you want to bring forth into existence, and be careful with jumping to assumptions right now. Before the month ends, Mercury goes Retrograde in your 7th house of love, and your heart is seeking forgiveness. Know that you can find clarity during this time by being honest with yourself and your heart.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThere is a lot to process this month, and your mind is healing, Pisces. July is your month of overcoming past challenges and letting go of habits and routines that don’t serve you in the long run. Neptune, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde this month, and will be bringing your attention to your values and income world during this time. This transit is allowing you to gain clarity on your financial reality, establish greater self-worth and confidence, and get inspired by what is possible for you and your sense of abundance in life.
On July 18, Mercury goes retrograde in your 6th house of health, and you are ready to let go of the daily rituals or working routines that have been limiting your personal growth in some way. It’s time to examine what your body, mind, and soul are asking for right now, and to have the power to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your overall well-being. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your 2nd house as well, joining Neptune, and there is a lot of healing to be done this month.
You are being asked to see yourself as a powerful, worthy, and loved being you are, and to know that you deserve to feel good about your life and to feel secure in what you are building for yourself and your future.
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When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
GiphyFrom grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
GiphyA part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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Featured image by Giphy