In season two of the hit drama series, P-Valley, we watched in awe as Mercedes (Brandee Evans) effortlessly glided up and down the pole, showing off her ultra-sexy dance moves in the privacy of her client’s home – dubbing it as the “Mercedes Experience.” If you’ve ever explored the idea of surprising your partner with a lap dance but cringed at the thought of embarrassing yourself, we’re here to help.
The good news is, you don’t have to be a pro to pull off a few sensual moves for your partner – you don’t even need a pole! If you’re interested in recreating a sexy moment from The Pynk or just looking to 'drop it like a thotty' for a lucky someone, we’ve talked to Zippora, a pole dance fitness instructor and personal trainer, for helpful tips on how to unleash your inner performer.
With over 10 years of experience, Zippora has performed stunt double work as Mercedes on the P-Valley pilot and as Anika Noni Rose’s character in BET’s The Quad. She’s also appeared in the music videos of Lil’ Baby and August Alsina, and has performed with Latto and Snoop Dogg. Keep reading for her pro tips on how to give a sexy lap dance to your partner.
1. Set the Mood
Giphy“You want your partner to be relaxed and ready to consume all of what your performance has to offer, so setting the mood for them will be a great way to help put them in that headspace. Try to cater to as many senses as possible. You can try dimming the lights and lighting scented candles,” Zippora explained.
“If they love massages, you could gently stroke a part of their body as you guide them to the location of your performance. You could also provide sweet treats and a beverage for them to graze on while you are getting ready. Remember, you are the mood so whatever you choose to create the ambiance, these are all mere accessories to help enhance your special moment.”
2. Assemble a Sexy Playlist
Giphy“The music will set the tone for your performance, so understanding what feeling you are looking to evoke and what level of energy you would like to bring is necessary in pulling your performance together,” Zippora said. “You also want to play with songs and rhythms that you find your body moves easiest to. Both an up-tempo and a slower cadence could work well, as long as it feels natural to your body. Some of my favorite artists who are setting the mood for me right now are Azee, Tanerélle, Giveon, Olafur Arnalds, dvsn, Sabrina Claudio, and the song 'SMTS' by Jeremih.”
3. Do a Quick Stretch
Giphy“Stretching plays an integral part in your performance because it allows your body to move at its fullest potential once it’s warm and loose. Dynamic stretches and movements are best to get the muscles warm and agile. Try to pay close attention to your shoulders for a variety of arm extensions, shoulder rolls, or any lifting you may include in your show,” Zippora described.
“Your waist and back are a dynamic duo that must have an honorable mention in warming up your body. Stretching these two areas will be key to bringing your upper half and lower half of your body together working in unison. After that, stretching your legs will give you the support you need to entice your viewer. Remember to keep your core engaged throughout the entire movement. Your body will thank you for this later while you’re giving all the energy in your performance.”
4. Pick a Seductive Outfit
Giphy“Choose something that accentuates your most desirable assets while also wearing something that you feel comfortable and confident in. An option could be eight-inch heels with an oversized t-shirt and a thong so that you can put those legs and glutes on display. Or you could try a revealing strappy bondage bodysuit with coordinating foot straps that allow you to flex your curvy silhouette while dominating and taming the moment,” Zippora said.
5. Perform Sultry Dance Moves
Giphy“Your body is a work of art that you are putting on display, so think of each sway of a curve, each point of an extension, each body roll, and every strut and pirouette as a brush stroke. Paint the picture of the story you are trying to convey to your viewer. Standing and facing your partner with arms extended overhead, for example, while rolling your hips then quick-turning your back to them following a deep bend over is a great way to get their attention and begin your expressively seductive story," Zippora explained.
She continued, "Opening your legs with pointed toes for a full spread and gently alternating bending each knee can make your performance more dynamic. However, you decide to create your choreography, move your body in a way that makes you feel sexy so choose movements that appear effortless, that visually give you the air of strength and makes you appear the most tantalizing.”
6. Be Confident
Giphy“The most important thing is to have fun. Try not to take yourself too seriously as this experience should be enjoyable without any stress. Be mindful of your breathing to relax your mind and body. The more relaxed you are, the more free and confident you will feel to truly be you,” Zippora noted.
“With regards to your partner, try to make the moment interactive to help sustain the engagement by giving your partner queues of when and where to look and touch. Knowing your partner is completely present and attentive, will provide you the strength and boldness to easily beguile and command the mood with indelible confidence.”
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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