When it comes to the tech world, minorities are often underrepresented and underestimated. A quick search about Silicon Valley will reveal that diversity is a big issue from the cubicles to the boardrooms, so it's no surprise that when it comes to seeking investments for our own businesses, we have to fight harder and shine brighter just to prove our value. And it's not just a race thing. In an article on Silicon Valley's diversity problem, Fast Company stated, “when played recordings of the same investment plea read by a man and a woman, people preferred the man's pitch by a two-to-one margin." Ouch.
But the thing about being overlooked is that when you do make noise, people look your way. And one woman in tech is making sure that she's not only talking the talk, but successfully paving the way for others to be heard as well.
Courtesy of Tina Fitch
As it turns out, letting go of an old idea allowed for the birthing of a new one. The opportunity to rebuild her personal connections with family and friends led to a vision of building a platform that would allow people to reconnect in a digital way. While pregnant with her second child, she conceived the idea for Hobnob—a mobile-based invitation app that helps users create beautiful event invites that can be sent via text in less than 60 seconds.
“I could be pregnant on a farm in the Pacific and still be connected, but at the same time I found that even with all of these social networks and all of this advancement, people just seem to be more and more isolated, and it was ironically harder than ever to actually be social."
Recognizing a need for technology that enabled real life moments to be experienced and shared in a unique way, Tina got to work on once again bringing her idea to fruition. But launching a start up, even a second time around, would prove to be no easy feat. For one, she was no longer living in the investor-friendly city of Silicon Valley, meaning she had to put her money where her mouth was in order to prove that she wasn't just a one start-up wonder. And as a minority woman in an industry where our presence may be seen but not always felt, she had an equally difficult challenge of representing the next generation of women entrepreneurs set to disrupt the tech sector.
Photo Credit: Hobnob App
But being a girl boss means making it happen despite any opposition, so it's no surprise that this past February, it was announced that Hobnob raised $2.25 million in seed funding from a handful of notable investors.
In an industry that's quick to evolve but slow to embrace, Tina hopes to see more women and minorities continue to make their voices heard by fearlessly going after the big bucks to help back innovative ideas. We had a chance to chat with the CEO on how to successfully snag seed funding for your business, why starting small can lead to bigger opportunities, and why it's important that we break into spaces that we're not typically invited into.
1. Build It And Let Your Results Speak For You
"We basically started [Hobnob] on our own because I felt like the best approach for me is to feel like you have something tangible that people can interact with and see what your vision is. Everyone has to be a good storyteller as an entrepreneur, but results are also the best storyteller. I take raising funds very seriously, meaning you're basically asking someone else to trust you with their hard earned money and you're committing to delivering for them.
"I wanted to make sure that whatever product that they were investing in we felt was truly viable, and that there was a real need for it in the market. So we basically self-funded it to our first beta version. And then we tested it out in Hawaii and it expanded to the U.S. and once we started really getting traction and we saw such a diverse user base jumping onto it, that was when I started having investor discussions because then we realized there was something there."
2. Talk To Friends And Family First
"Seed funding will normally come after friends and family round. A lot of times we have an idea, but maybe you have savings if you're self-funding and just fund yourself while you're building it. But sometimes if you need a little bit of money you can ask friends and family to buy in on your dream, or trust you and support you."
3. Find The Right Type Of Investor For Your Business
"Seed funding is what I'd consider the first professional round with people who have experience investing, and there's a range of people who can participate. There's what you call angel investors, where individuals invest their funds, and then there's people called Micro Venture Capital (Micro-VC) investors, who are venture capitalists but tend to have smaller funds and they're entirely focused on these seed rounds where they can get in for pretty low amounts of money and still have significant ownership, so they're making small bets with potentially big outcomes.
"Then you have traditional venture capitalists, and we happen to have both angel and venture capitalists in our seed round where they have funds in the billions of dollars, but they still realize that the best outcomes that they have are typically with companies where they got in early. So even large VCs are really interested in the right companies and the right people at a very early stage."
Courtesy of Tina Fitch/Hobnob
4. Decide What Is Best For Your Business: A Loan Vs. Seeking Investors
"There are several differences to obtaining a business loan vs. investors for your business, but I'll focus on the three main ones in my view: A loan requires repayment with interest ('debt'), but doesn't give up equity in your company. An investor gives capital to grow to the company in exchange for ownership (i.e. 'equity'). An entrepreneur may not want to give up any piece of her business since, rightfully, she'll be the one slugging away day after day to build it. But some types of businesses - such as ones that require more capital to grow before they can be cash-flow positive and self-fund, or don't have the assets and collateral to obtain a competitive loan, or can benefit from the reputation or connections from a particular investor - can be bigger with a venture investment than without. In other words, you can have a smaller piece of something large, vs. 100 percent ownership of something small or, worse, bankrupt.
"A loan, just like anything obtained on credit, has a repayment/recovery schedule. You should have a strong level of confidence that you will have the cash flow to repay that loan on the terms they require. A venture investor typically is investing in you as much as the company – and may be more accepting of changes to business plan, as long as she remains informed. An investor is going to feel like a partner in the business, and is ideally in it for the long-term play. On the flip side of that, when you qualify for a loan, all the lender cares about is that you repay per their terms. They don't want to influence your business. An equity partner often will want to feel some level of influence and have some level of ongoing insight to your business decisions. So you have to evaluate any equity partner the way you'd evaluate any long-term relationship – very seriously, and based on multiple levels of compatibility and trust.
"This is the most important in my mind: you should only seek out and accept venture funding if you have the intention of bringing them a significant return on their investment. In other words, you should have a plan in mind that will either reap healthy ongoing dividends or a 'liquidity event' – in other words, a sale or public offering – a way for that investor to get their investment back plus the increased value you've built in the business and their shares over a reasonable period of time. 'Lifestyle businesses' are great – those are businesses you want to build primarily to support yourself and your family, perhaps the community of employees you maintain – but aren't designed to reward investors with a higher return on their investment than, say, if she had invested in the stock market or real estate. You should be able to approach investors with the confidence that you aren't asking them for a favor, you are offering them an opportunity – and you need to be authentic and committed to making that message reality."
5. Repeat Customers Can Be Just As Valuable As Showing Profit
"In the case where you have a product or service where you're selling something, definitely the best thing to have is a happy customers and repeat customers. We picked one of the hardest areas to focus on, which is consumer mobile pre-revenue, meaning we don't even sell anything right now. We're basically a free service, and that's honestly a very challenging space to pitch so I think what a lot of investors are banking on is a product that they can try out themselves and if they see a need for it and they like your approach to a product—they feel like the design is beautiful and elegant and efficient—it's almost like the product is the window into your soul and your perspective.
"Everything we built was really geared towards having a beautiful user experience that really translated in the product, so the investors could see and feel that. Also, at the same time they could see that it's really a broad diverse user base that was coming onto the service, and we didn't do any kind of paid advertising—we didn't buy customers. It's called organic growth where they just recommended it to each other and they invited other people to share in it, and they found it on their own and started using it. So to have straight organic growth from such a diverse user base was something that the investors also saw and were really excited about."
6. Treat Investors Like It's A Marriage
"When you're starving for funds, it's very easy for people to be tempted to take money wherever they can get it, and there's no judgment there. I understand that it can be a real struggle and you want to build your business, but it's really like a marriage. Especially in recent years, there are very few overnight success stories. You have to go into the relationship thinking that it's a marriage and you're going to have good times and bad times and you want to pick a partner that's going to be a solid and supportive partner during those bad times as well, so you do have to be selective and it's not just a question of you pitching yourself to them, they should also be pitching themselves to you or you should be evaluating them in that way."
7. Bring Tech Investors to You
"It's funny because I wondered if people would be reluctant to invest in us or if they'd take us seriously, but I think a few things have happened as a result of being [in Hawaii]. One is I feel like we're able to develop a product without the money mentality. We were able to really build and design for the people that we wanted to reach, and Hawaii being such a diverse community ethnically and culturally, it's really a true melting pot, that I feel like it positively influenced our product and how we were able to reach different types of people on the mainland and elsewhere.
"The other thing that I realized was that for the first time big name investors are also recognizing that diverse teams, and that also means geographically diverse, have a different perspective and so they're really to look elsewhere and take a gamble on companies. But again seeing that you have a solid product and customer base or potential. So I feel like they recognized wow you guys were able to build a really beautiful product that's reaching a diverse user base and it's growing organically and you're in Hawaii, that's probably all related, and that's something interesting and intriguing."
8. Recognize Your Power As A Minority
"Hispanic and African American women are the fastest growing entrepreneurial segments in the country growing at rates of 133.3 percent and 191.4 percent respectively from 1997 to 2007. Combined they represent more than two million of the roughly eight million women-owned businesses in the country and more than $14 billion in gross receipts. Further, African American and Hispanic women are three to five times more likely to start a business than their white counterparts (read more).
"I think the reasons for this are powerful: when you don't see the company cultures or products and services that reflect your world view or experiences, you are motivated to build them yourself. Minority women are woefully underrepresented across almost every executive segment in the country – but we are a powerful demographic. So we are harnessing that power and creativity and creating opportunities."
"There are some great resources to read and readily available online. I wish I had some these standardized Series Seed documents when I started by first tech startup – in the past (and even now) several companies get gouged by law firms when trying to set up their first investment. This doesn't need to happen, and I find that if most honorable investors will agree to these types of standardized terms with only minor adjustments, at times. Being a minority, you should be like, wow, I have a powerful weapon, in that I have a particular advantage.
"If you are interested in raising capital for your business, here are a few amazing resources: Serie Seed, Raising Venture Capital For The Serious Entrepreneur, Small Business Administration, MBDA Grant Competitions, [and] Seed Accelerators & Groups."
Find out more about Hob Nob in the video below:
What would your dream start-up be? Are you making any moves to make your business dreams come true? Let us know in the comments below!
- Getting A Small Business Loan, 5 Steps - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
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Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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