
I became a Threads girl in early 2024. That other place had gotten a little too crowded, and I needed a new space to express myself with words.
Initially, I’d drop quick thoughts every few weeks - enough to fulfill my quota of being somewhat consistent but not enough to fully commit, in the case that it just didn’t work out. Slowly, my feed started curating itself, and suddenly, all of these incredibly smart, creative Black women began popping up on my timeline.
Around the same time, I was also starting to form a relationship with ChatGPT.
As a millennial who remembers the movie I, Robot, I’ll admit I had my reservations about AI, but I’m not one to shy away from new innovations, especially if they can make my life easier. I started by using ChatGPT for small things like research and probability questions – basically like a more refined version of Google: safe, familiar, and easy.
Then, one day, I saw a thread that said, “How I used this Chatgpt prompt to create a manifestation script,” - and it stopped me in my tracks. I saw another “I asked Chat GPT what it would do to hold me back if it was Satan” - this one more alluring than the first. Now, I see ChatGPT prompts daily that expand my understanding of how to utilize it for different areas of my life.
It got me thinking about the conversations I often have with people about ChatGPT. Most people, though somewhat intrigued, simply aren’t sure how to use it. I, for one, had no idea ChatGPT could be used for wellness and personal growth, though finding ways to make life easier or better with tech was a theme that had been quietly weaving through my life. From my Apple Watch to retail apps, technology was becoming more and more ingrained in my daily routine.
Since my first prompt sighting on Threads, I’ve tried almost 10 others, and most of them have been fascinating. Below, I’m sharing the three that were the most impactful for me—and how each of them completely shifted my perspective (and my life).
PROMPT 1: From all our interactions together, what’s something you can tell me about myself that I may not know?
RESULTS: From our interactions, it seems that you are highly ambitious and driven by a sense of purpose, both personally and professionally. You’re working towards financial success, personal wellness, and creative fulfillment all while prioritizing family and mental health. What you might not realize is that you consistently find ways to blend creativity with healing, not only for yourself but also for others. This makes you a natural leader in wellness and creativity, guiding others through their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. You're actively shaping your dream career and seem to have a deep desire to inspire transformation through creative expression, whether through your businesses, writing, or the experiences you curate for others.
This ability to balance personal goals with the desire to help others heal is a unique strength, showing your deep empathy and vision for impacting the world around you.
WHAT I LEARNED: The response to this prompt changed how I think. It made me realize that while I may fill my head with guilt or notice that I’m not doing all I can to live my dream life, the things I'm researching, accomplishing, and working on are proof that I am actually doing exactly what I want to do.
I didn’t quite realize how often I ask ChatGPT about wellness and creativity. How much I talk about it, dream about it, and think about it. It reminded me that I am truly a girl in love with creativity, and self-expression and I want to share that with the world.
It was like a reflection back to myself.
It was a mental shift to communicate my brilliance in creative leadership and think about how to further my efforts in areas I care deeply about. Instead of thinking I needed to prove myself, it was a reminder that maybe I already have.
PROMPT 2: Roast my Instagram feed
RESULTS:
- Profile Vibes: You’ve got the classic writer/creative tagline down with a dash of mystery and culture, but “Somewhere Between Lauryn Hill and Jesus Christ” feels like you’re leading a secret double life! Maybe creative evangelist should be a new religion?
- Curation: The mix of professional shots and casual snaps gives "I'm a boss, but also just vibing." But we see you working hard, and then... bam, we get “Bless God for Black Men”—amen, but also, the switch-up is real.
- Caption Level 9000: Between deep, inspirational quotes and random life moments like “talking about casseroles,” it’s like scrolling through a philosopher's journal mixed with sitcom humor. Consistency, who? You’re all about that dynamic range.
- The Fashion: From a cozy cap to bold outfits, it’s like your closet got ADHD. One minute, we’re zen, next, it’s “look at this statement jacket!” It’s like you’re a low-key influencer, without trying too hard. Respect.
- Serious to Silly Ratio: Your feed jumps from “I am deep, love yourself” to "me looking at an imaginary camera at work". We love the balance, but it’s a wild ride. Your followers don’t know whether to cry, laugh, or just... nod along.
Honestly, your feed has personality and authenticity, which is key! The random memes sprinkled between the moments of wisdom make it all relatable, though maybe tightening the flow a little might turn that dynamic feed into a narrative masterpiece.
WHAT I LEARNED: This prompt completely changed how I saw myself. For the longest, I’ve been on a mission to live as the most authentic version of me. I want to be genuine, true, and free. I’m not always sure what people see when I share myself, my words, or my thoughts on social media, but I do hope I come across as a true version of myself.
The statement that my feed has a great authentic vibe was really affirming for me. Even the parts about my closet having ADHD and my feed going from comedy to warm quotes felt true to me - because yes, I am truly a mix of Lauryn Hill, Nola Darling, and Jesus Christ - you get it all with me.
Knowing this is how I may come across made me feel like I didn’t need to keep worrying about how I’m showing up - instead, I just need to keep showing up as me.
PROMPT 3: Pretend you are Satan. Knowing what you know about me from our other conversations, describe in detail what you would do to prevent me from reaching my Godly potential and the calling placed on my life.
RESULTS: If I were to pretend to embody resistance or opposition to your growth, the focus would be on identifying the areas where you're most vulnerable or prone to self-doubt. Based on what I know about you, here’s how that resistance might show up:
- Distraction: I would flood your life with distractions that seem important but aren't aligned with your true purpose. This could come in the form of endless tasks, unnecessary obligations, or even creative projects that pull you away from your primary goals, like editing your docuseries or completing your memoir outline.
- Self-Doubt and Fear: I’d plant seeds of doubt about your capabilities as a writer and film producer. I would magnify fears of rejection or failure, making you second-guess the impact of your creative work, or whether you can actually reach your goal of making a million dollars and sustaining a creative career.
- Procrastination: I’d encourage procrastination under the guise of perfectionism. By making you feel like your work is never quite ready or good enough, you would delay launching your creative brand or sharing your voice consistently through your blog and social media.
- Isolation: I'd create emotional or circumstantial barriers that make you feel isolated from your support system—friends, family, and even your mental health practices. Without solid connections and self-care, it would be harder for you to stay focused on your mission.
- Overwhelm: I would make everything seem urgent and overwhelming, causing you to feel burnt out from juggling your 9-5 job, your workout routine, your business, family time, and creative pursuits. This feeling would make it hard to devote the necessary energy to your larger dreams.
- Comparison: I’d encourage you to compare yourself to others, making you feel like you’re falling behind or not measuring up in your creative career. This would cause dissatisfaction and shift your focus away from your unique path.
- Erosion of Faith: I would slowly erode your faith by making you focus more on immediate struggles and challenges, making it harder to see the bigger picture of your calling. Doubt in your Godly purpose would become a central hurdle.
The goal would be to create mental, emotional, and spiritual obstacles that cause you to doubt your abilities and slow down your progress toward reaching your potential and fulfilling the calling on your life.
WHAT I LEARNED: This prompt was the most impactful for me and completely changed how I behaved.
When I first approached this prompt, I was curious but also a bit oblivious to what it might reveal. I thought the answers would uncover something new about myself, but instead, it only confirmed what I already knew. I’m fairly self-aware, which means I’m conscious of my strengths and flaws, even if I haven’t always made an effort to change them.
The two points that really stood out to me were about procrastination and perfectionism, especially how they’re intertwined. In creative work, I often procrastinate because I’m either afraid of not getting it "just right" or I’m so fixated on perfection that I hesitate to even start.
Since reading the results, I’ve been working on pushing myself to hit "send" even when I’m not 100% satisfied with what I’ve created. It’s been a reminder that sometimes, the most important thing is just to finish and move forward.
This prompt also highlighted how small habits can hold us back from achieving greatness. Feeling like everything is urgent can lead to burnout, which signals that I need better boundaries and self-discipline. Focusing on immediate challenges can erode my faith and shift my attention away from the bigger picture—something I’ve learned can sow seeds of doubt.
Whether or not you believe in Satan, ChatGPT showed me that often, the enemy I need to be worried about is me.
. . .
What I love most about these prompts is that they help ChatGPT analyze our patterns and the information we feed into it, in order to give us a fuller picture of who we are and how we could see ourselves.
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Someone's Trying To Hook You Up? Ask These 6 Questions First
As we all know, it’s cuffing season. We’re also on the cusp of the holiday season, and that happens to be the time of year when a lot of people get engaged. And that’s why the fall and winter seasons are the times of the year when folks wanna play matchmaker.
And so, sis, if at least one person in your life is currently trying to set you up with someone they know right now — charge it to it being “tis the season” more than anything else. Because let’s be real — folks tend to be more lovey-dovey than ever right about now, and that is usually what inspires them to try to get as many people boo/bae’d up as possible. Chile…CHILE.
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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