Ancestral Practices of Nonmonogamy in African Cultures

In many African societies, relationships were traditionally structured in ways that defied Western monogamous norms. Polygamy, for instance, was a common practice in several cultures, rooted in community building and mutual support rather than possessiveness. Highlighting historical practices like these can show the cultural lineage of ethical nonmonogamy in the Black diaspora.

Polyamory in Afro-Caribbean Spiritual Practices

Certain Afro-Caribbean spiritual traditions, such as Vodou, Santería, and Ifá, emphasize communal love and relationships that transcend monogamy. Practitioners often speak of building large, inclusive networks of love and care, which align with polyamorous ideals.

Modern Polyamory Advocates in Black Communities

There are some notable voices in today’s Black polyamorous and ethically nonmonogamous communities like Kevin Patterson, author of Love’s Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, which addresses the intersections of race and polyamory.

Ahead, find a list of celebrities who lean into the polyamorous lifestyle.

1. Willow Smith

Willow Smith has been an outspoken advocate for ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory, sharing on Red Table Talk that she values the freedom to explore multiple loving relationships. She sees it as a way to break traditional molds and focus on emotional honesty. “With polyamory, I feel like the main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that's what everyone around you says is the right thing to do,” she said.

2 & 3. Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Willow's openness about nonmonogamy may come as no surprise, given her mom, Jada, has hinted at a flexible perspective on relationships. While not outright identifying as polyamorous, Jada has discussed nontraditional approaches to love and partnership.

"Jada never believed in conventional marriage ... Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship," the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air alum told GQ in November 2021. "We have given each other trust and freedom, with the belief that everybody has to find their own way. And marriage for us can't be a prison. The freedoms that we've given one another and the unconditional support, to me, is the highest definition of love."

4. RuPaul

RuPaul, the renowned drag queen and creator of RuPaul's Drag Race, recently disclosed that he and his husband have an open relationship. "It’s just realistic. There’s no such thing as monogamy with men,” Ru said in an interview with the New Yorker. However, due to his celebrity status, he expressed that he no longer has a reliable "circle of people" for intimacy.

5. Kehlani

In 2018, musician Kehlani tweeted that they were a "lil poly pansexual," but it was unclear to fans whether they were identifying as polyamorous or polysexual.

In 2020, during an appearance on The Breakfast Club, Kehlani clarified that they had been in an open relationship with their former partner, YG, when questioned about alleged photos of him kissing another woman outside a club. "That wasn't a rule-breaking situation. I just don't feel like getting online and deeply explaining that that is not a situation that matters to me then I gotta deal with everybody coming at my mentality about an open relationship."

6. DeRay Davis

Comedian DeRay Davis has been open about his polyamorous relationship, or "throuple," including appearances with his partners Coco Crawford and Caro Peguero on The Real and his Oxygen show Living with Funny. Davis emphasizes that he doesn't view himself as a "player" and prioritizes open communication and comfort in the relationship. He had been with one partner for five years and the other for two and a half at the time of his 2017 interview on The Real.

7. Nick Cannon

Nick Cannon, a vocal advocate for open relationships, has fathered multiple children with different women while practicing consensual nonmonogamy. This excludes his two eldest children, who he shares with his ex-wife Mariah Carey. During a 2021 interview with Vermilion County First, Nick said, “That’s a Eurocentric concept. The idea that you’re supposed to have this one person for the rest of your life. The idea that a man should have one woman. We shouldn’t have anything. I have no ownership over this person.”

He continued, “If we’re really talking about how we co-exist and how we populate, it’s about what exchange can we create together. I understand the institution of marriage, but if we go back to what that was about … it was to classify property,” he argued.

8. Jidenna

“When I first started I had the basic dream of threesomes. But then I realized I really wanted to have a romantic relationship with another woman,” Jidenna admitted to Teyana Taylor on Bumble's Luv2SeeIt in August 2022. He shared that he initially explored polyamory to satisfy his sexual curiosities.

Jidenna is currently in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend, whom he met when she was dating two other men. “Right now, people look at me and [my exclusive partner], and they’re like ‘Wow, y’all are monogamous.’ and I’m like – maybe! But we reserve the right to evolve. Our agreement has license to change; we can change whenever we want.”

9. Janelle Monáe

Like many stars, the “Float” singer spilled her tea on an episode of Red Table Talk. She came out as non-binary and confirmed that she’d been in a poly relationship before. “I wasn’t ready to have my family question my personal life or get calls from people who still look at me as Little Pumpkin — that’s what they call me back home,” she shared. “I needed to talk to my dad, who was just great. My sister knew already because I’ve been in monogamous relationships; I’ve been in polyamorous relationships. But I knew that I couldn’t be Little Pumpkin. I couldn’t be little Janelle.”

10. Omarion

Omarion expressed openness to polyamory on Club Shay Shay, stating that he believes his future partner or partners will seek him out. “She finds me. It’s been a while since I’ve actually been in a ‘girlfriend-boyfriend’ type of relationship. But I think a private life is a happy life. I believe that she finds me.”

The artist went on to say, “It might be ‘shes.’ ‘Shes’ might find me. Plurals. ‘Shes.’ I’m just saying if I really thought about my lifestyle and being with me—the pressure of being with me and it just being one woman. I don’t know if that exists. I don’t come from a traditional standpoint. I feel like I’ve definitely tried the traditional way, and I don’t know if that’s for me.”

11. Ne-Yo

Ne-Yo has five children from previous relationships: three with his ex-wife Crystal Renay and two with his ex-fiancée Monyetta Shaw. After his divorce from Crystal, Ne-Yo publicly acknowledged his involvement in a polyamorous relationship, stating that he had discovered monogamy wasn't the right path for him.

Society dictates that one should be with a single partner, get married, and remain together permanently. Ne-Yo clarified that he is not criticizing marriage or those who have made it work for them. He emphasized that while monogamy may be suitable for some, it is not the right fit for him. This realization has brought him a sense of relief and liberation.

In an episode of the YouTube show Lemon Drop, the singer discussed his polyamorous lifestyle with event planner Karleen Roy. "I realized that I've not been living my truth for a very, very long time. I'm living it now, and you could tell my skin is glowing." Ne-yo went on to say, "I'm in a great space, great space, mentally, emotionally, and everything else. I'm in a really good space, and I realized that everything is not for everybody. I know you've heard that said before. It is some of the truest shit that anyone has ever said."

Historical Figures Who Broke Monogamous Norms

Figures like Zora Neale Hurston and Langston Hughes, though not explicitly polyamorous, lived unconventional love lives that rejected strict monogamous boundaries. Their stories illustrate the longstanding tradition of challenging societal norms around love and relationships.

While Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera weren’t in a relationship themselves, their work within the queer Black and Brown communities in the 1960s and 70s created spaces where nonmonogamous and nontraditional relationships thrived. Their advocacy normalized diverse expressions of love within marginalized communities.

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