

What It's Really Like To Have A Threesome
I've often thought about how I would go about a threesome, how I'd go about setting boundaries for myself and ensuring that it wasn't some socialized desire I took to meet my "freak" quota for my man (we all know one). Would I even be willing to incorporate a threesome into my relationship? As a single person looking in, I decided I'd rather be the third to another couple and leave the potential for messiness in their bedroom. But as a sex educator, the reality is that it can be done, but a threesome requires communication and healthy boundary-setting to ensure that things can be tucked away with a neat little ribbon afterwards.
For some, the boundary is simply: "The third can never be someone who we'd invite to the wedding." Either way, specificity is key and in this day and age, the possibilities are infinite. Couples and singles are seeking out a third partner through apps like Thrinder, swingers clubs, at random, or in the age-old direct message.
For the expansion of your mind, body, and soul, it's important to know that a threesome has the ability to be diverse. Despite the sexism we learned around MMF threesomes, it is in fact that and not a train. And we should reject the idea that a threesome ONLY ever occurs when it's FFM because...you guessed it...that's dated, patriarchal, sex-negative language.
It encompasses voyeurism (you'll see) and/or the use of accessories such as strap-ons and vibrators. It takes place inside throuples but also with a group of singles. Threesomes are whatever you make them...except foursomes (that's just group sex, point blank). They can be sexy, they can be awkward, spontaneous or premeditated. Just like sex with an indiviudal, you might be more comfortable in one scenario than another.
But, let's get into it. Here are 8 threesome stories featuring people on what threesomes are really like through their own experiences.
1.Watch me watch you...
"My boyfriend and I have a semi-open relationship. To be honest, I don't know exactly how to label it because I'm not into labels and everything (to me) is fluid, based off of impulse and how we feel at the time. I've always been interested in group sex/threesomes, mostly two men and me, and I made this clear to my boyfriend early in our relationship, however never was comfortable with acting on it [and I] didn't know how down he would be. Anyway, I'm very up and down sexually.
"There are times where I'm asexual, and then there's times when I'm hypersexual and can't stop thinking about sex and prefer 'riskier' behavior. It's supposedly tied to the fact that I have BPD, as suggested by my previous therapist. Well, when I was at the height of my adderall addiction, I was extremely hypersexual, unfortunately to the point I would fuck random niggas behind [my boyfriend's] back. (Yes, my boyfriend and I were OK with fucking other people, BUT we didn't officially talk about it so technically I was cheating.)
"One day, he found out, because I'm not one to hide shit well. He was extremely angry, as he should have been, but eventually he forgave me and then began to want to incorporate my desires into our sex life. We would invite people over, and I'd f*ck them and he'd watch. So basically, he never participated in the threesome, but he'd watch/tape; or he would not be there, and request that whoever is f*cking me would tape it all and then I would send it to him."
"I say all this to say... I feel like sometimes people don't talk about the uncomfortable TRUTHS about this lifestyle. In my case, it began to be an obsession. It also stopped being something that was on 'a whim'. He [my partner] started constantly asking me if I was talking to someone (to initiate sex) and asking me details of what I was talking about and asking me about times/days, all that kind of shit.
"To incorporate him in the mix, it started being overwhelming and like a second job at that point. And I think it was mostly because he ultimately wasn't completely on board with me doing this with him, but he was interested in the thought of voyeurism/threesomes/group sex but just not me doing it. Anyway, long story short, we don't do that anymore. And that was my decision, not his."
2.Tonight's the night...
"It was with a hetero couple I dated. I met them while teaching their son but they didn't pursue anything until after I had stopped teaching him. But I knew they had been attracted to me for some time. We were hanging out casually, perhaps that was the time I was taking to get comfortable and warm up. Finally, in February we all went back to their place.
"I was ready and in the mood. I said we having sex tonight. We started with some p*ssy licking. I asked each of them to take turns while I'd close my eyes and guess who was performing at a given time."
"After, I found myself sitting on his face while she rode her husband. After that, I gave her some good head and made her jizz in my mouth. I recall feeling excited, slutty (in a good way), accomplished, stimulated."
3.Almost doesn't count...
"I basically auditioned. I was sought after. She wanted a threesome, she started talking to me on her own. Then, we met up for dinner and took it from there. But I really didn't find her boyfriend attractive. Then they started talking about 'girlfriend' business, but I didn't like him so we made an attempt and the first time she got mad because he was touching me, so I Ieft.
"Then, shortly after, they broke up and she and I started messing around. That was great. I was nervous for the threesome activity though, [it's] not really my style, and no I would never do it again (laughs). Maybe with two girls."
4.It's instinct, I guess...
"First off, I'll say I'm a 'compersive' person, meaning I get pleasure out of my partner receiving pleasure. The prospect of a threesome came up after one of my female friends asked me about it, as she was attracted to us both. I set her and my partner up on a date without me, so they could see if they vibed. Apparently, it was a good time, but nothing ever really panned out from that. Then when we were out of town out drinking with some old friends, I asked if she would be down for a threesome with one of my friends, who I know, but isn't too close to me. He's also a nigga I know that's down for almost anything, plus he's discrete, which made him a good candidate.
"Me and him went outside the club to smoke a blunt in the car and I asked him if he would be down. [Though] my partner gets a lot of attention and I knew he would be down, he first responded like, 'Why me?' and I told him to just consider himself lucky. He was like, 'Aight sign me up, imma stop asking questions' and laughed. I told him to meet us at the hotel later. When my partner and I got back to the hotel and started getting ready for bed, I made sure she stayed up and mentioned that one of my homies would be coming over.
"When he got there, we thought it was a good idea to start rolling up. I could tell he had never been in a threesome before. Anxiety was in the air. So before the weed came out, I started making out with my partner, then I said to her, 'You should go show my homie some love too' and I directed her towards him and they started making out. She had on a little short nightgown and I put my hand up her gown while she was making out with him."
"He was still nervous (and had trouble getting hard, understandably), and I could see her getting anxious too so I ate her out, while she started giving him head (he was semi at this point). Then I turned her around and gave her some aggressive backshots until she came a few times while giving him head, and he started to choke her. She asked me if I told him she liked being choked, which she does, and I actually didn't. It was instinct, I guess.
"Anyway at this point everybody was on 10 and I backed away to let him put a condom on so they could fuck too. She's submissive, and says things like 'yes please,' which he finds hot. I recorded a bit, they both came, then he left. After he left, we fucked again which was probably the best sex of the night tbh, and went to bed. She was GLOWING the next day, and we debriefed over breakfast. The next two weeks she was hornier than ever, throwing the pussy at me even if I just looked at her. I think she really felt confident in herself as a sexual being and her sex drive was on another level for a couple weeks. I really feel like it was a win-win-win overall."
5.I wanna play...
"I went to the swingers club with the intent of watching, but it's hard to be hard-wired for horny and not want to partake. I think I also planned on watching because I didn't anticipate any Black people being there and white people weren't going to get me off. My curiosity got the best of me when the Black couple I had been keeping tabs on while they exchanged oral had suddenly left the room. True to my Sag, my ass went to explore the situation. I found them with the one other Black couple making out on the couches.
"They gave me permission to join verbally and as a sign of good faith she gave his dick some room to breathe so I could show them I was serious. We moved to a private room where she and I took turns eating one another out, and giving him head."
"Soon after, we had sex but not for long because I panicked, through my clothes on, and dipped out. Unfortunately, I was forced to bump into them for the rest of the night in the club. I would definitely do it again but I would put slightly more thought into it. More intention."
6.An invitation...
"Back in undergrad, one of my closest friends also happened to be my roommate. She was going through a bad breakup and after a night of my then-boyfriend and I listening to her whine about it, I randomly said, 'We're going to have sex now. You're welcome to join. That may help get your mind off of things.' With very little hesitation, she asked for 30 minutes to clean herself up (shave and whatnot) and not too long after that we all fucked.
"Having sex with my best friend and my boyfriend for my first threesome was great. Knowing that I trusted them and we all were very familiar with one another definitely made us all more comfortable. I do think my boyfriend was having a mental conflict. He wasn't able to keep a hard on with my best friend. After the threesome was over, he had to finish in our room with me. The days following were pretty normal. We laughed about it, but there were no awkward moments."
7.Fifty shades of submission...
"There's lots of things that aren't very sensual about my sexual experiences, especially when it has to do with swinger lifestyle stuff. I've been a part of the swinger lifestyle for about four to five years and started in Baltimore. When I moved back to Detroit, I never really sought it out because it was too close to home, work, etc. Post-breakup, I went to a lifestyle party in February with a friend. Initially, I was like, 'I really don't wanna do this but you know I'm really f*cking horny and I really wanna have a community dynamic of, not only being f*cked but seeing people f*ck.' So I went.
"The host, whose name was Vick, and there was a guy named X, as well -- while I was there, I ended up f*cking like three guys [and] I played with a girl. Although I wanted to f*ck X, I didn't for whatever reason but I did end up f*cking Vick. Fast forward, not too long ago this past fall, Vick is like, 'Come over, I really wanna f*ck you' and I'm like whatever because I know he's going to slut me out. He has a Dom nature.
"Like I'm going to feel like I can serve and please him, which gives me my release. He also has this house where he lives with guys which also turns me on knowing that others can hear me getting f*cks, I don't know, just another kink of mine. And so while I'm f*cking him, I end up biting my fingers, sucking on my fingers, sucking on his fingers. Basically indicating that I need another dick. I'm this horny, I wanna please, I want to be slutted out. But I'm not going to shy away from it, I needed to be myself and I needed a release."
"So Vick is like, 'OK, do you trust me to bring someone over?' Minutes later, X walks in! Obviously, I'm excited. He also has a Dom nature about him. At this point, I'm in heaven. I'm sucking X's dick. But I'm also on this tip where not only do I want to be pleased but I also want to see the manifestation of me giving and me serving and making sure I get the ultimate slut/sub trophy and that's cum, right? So I'm sucking him off, letting him f*ck. He's cumming on my face and Vick is watching like, 'Good girl, keep going. Please him like you please, daddy.' We're going back and forth and eventually Vick is like, 'You need to bend over so I can take your ass.' And I wanted it! I wanted all of my holes filled that day.
"And that ended up happening. X ended up laying back and Vick was like, 'You're going to try DP (double penetration) for us.' It was again a very primitive, raw experience around being a slut and wanting to get all of my holes blown out, wanting both of these men to please me and knowing that they both have this Dom, honestly, hood persona that I adore. Which is opposite of how people see me but this is what turns me on. I was gone in a beautiful way. I enjoyed every minute of it."
8.The perfect stranger...
"This one is pretty wild. I was at a friend's bar (he was the bar manager) and there was a guy in there visiting from New York for business. We were discussing everything he had done so far since he was there and he said he hadn't done much! My other friend had met me at the bar (we usually went every Monday to get drunk for free and eat). About two hours had passed and we had been chatting it up with the guy but my friend had to go home because he had work in the morning. Me and the visitor kept chatting it up and he told me his hotel wasn't far and he wanted to go out tonight because it was his last night in ATL.
"We get to this other popular bar, both drunk off our asses and we go to the bathroom together (this bar is one of those bars where you have to go to the bathroom with your friends or they may get lost, if you know what I mean). The next thing I know me and the guy are making out in the bathroom! He invited me to his hotel but I told him I needed to go home to change first. In actuality, I was going to pick up my roommate/the other friend from the bar earlier. I told the guy that my friend likes to watch and he was TOTALLY DOWN! I run in the house to wake up my friend and give him the tea, he was WITH IT!
"So we go back to the guys' hotel and me and the guy are doing oral while my friend went to use the bathroom. Next thing I know, I'm calling for my friend to come out of the bathroom, but before he could, me and the visitor went to the bathroom and I started giving oral to my friend! We made our way to the bed and had our way! The guy was vers so he f*cked me and my friend f*cked him. It was quite the experience! We end up staying the night at the guy's hotel. We had to come up with an escape plan to leave the guy's hotel before he asked for a ride to the airport. So I 'went to get the car' from valet, and texted my friend to come down, but to say he'd be back! Never talked to that guy again."
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Jodie Turner-Smith Files For Divorce From Joshua Jackson After Nearly 4 Years Of Marriage
2023 has become the year of celebrity breakups with headlines breaking left and right about celebs filing for divorce or ending high-profile relationships. The latest couple to announce their dissolution? British actress Jodie Turner-Smith. TMZ reported that Jodie has filed for a divorce from her husband, Dawson Creek alum Joshua Jackson.
As far as her reason for calling it quits, Jodie cited "irreconcilable differences," according to TMZ, and has requested joint custody of the couple's daughter, Juno Rose Diana Jackson. Late last year there were rumblings of there being "trouble in paradise" for the couple after the media realized they were no longer following each other on Instagram.
Those rumors were more than laid to rest when Jodie and Joshua went to the 2023 Oscars together earlier this year, and even more recently, when they celebrated her birthday together last month during the September unveiling of the Lotus Emeya.
Jodie Turner-Smith celebrates her birthday with husband Joshua Jackson at the unveiling of the new fully-electric Lotus Emeya on September 07, 2023 in New York City.
Brian Ach/Getty Images for Lotus
Despite seeming particularly happy and in love, perhaps the writing was already written on the wall even then. In the past, Jodie has been very celebratory publicly about her love for her estranged husband, even boldly recounting their love story for the books in a 2021 interview with Seth Meyers.
When Jodie and Joshua met, it was while at his birthday party in 2018. Their relationship was hot and heavy from the start, with Jodie openly noting that they began as a "one-night stand." During her 2021 interview with Seth Meyers, she jokingly referred to their love story as a "three-year one-night stand." She shared:
"First of all, I saw him before he saw me and when I saw him, I was like, 'I want that.' And then when he saw me, I just pretended like I didn't see him. He had to yell across the room to me, and I was wearing this T-shirt from a movie called Sorry to Bother You and [actress] Tessa Thompson plays a character called Detroit, and she has this T-shirt that says, 'The Future Is Female Ejaculation.'
"And so, he shouts across the room, 'Detroit!' He comes over and… does this really cute, charming thing that he does and just all night -- he just basically followed me around the party."
The couple were together from that moment forth, and even made things "Instagram official" less than two weeks later while on a dinner date. Joshua would later clarify to Insider that the night they met in 2018 was not a 'one-night stand' or a 'three-year one-night stand' like his then-wife joked but instead, it was "technically a three-night stand."
"It was sealed with a kiss that night and then we didn't leave each other's sides for, well, three years now," Joshua continued at the time.
In a July 2021 interview with Jimmy Fallon, Joshua dropped more details about the why behind getting married. He revealed that he didn't know he wanted to get married to Jodie until "the moment she asked me."
"She asked me on New Year's Eve. We were in Nicaragua. It was very beautiful, incredibly romantic, we were walking down the beach and she asked me to marry her."
He added, "I did not know [she would propose], but she was quite adamant and she was right. This is the best choice I ever made."
Joshua Jackson Reveals Jodie Turner-Smith Proposed To Him
Jodie received quite a bit of flack for proposing to Joshua because it goes against tradition and what society sees as acceptable for a woman to do to a man, and proposing isn't one of them. No matter how much time has passed, the viewpoints around who should do the proposing and who should be proposed to are still very traditional.
After being on the receiving end of such backlash, Joshua would later clarify to the media in a separate interview that it wasn't just Jodie's proposal to him that sealed the deal of them getting married, he proposed to her too. She might have initiated it, but Joshua followed through.
"I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist," he explained to Refinery29 that same year. "We were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic."
David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images
He continued, "And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, 'This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too].'"
"She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], 'You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.' And then, 'I would like the opportunity to re-propose to you and do it the old-fashioned way down on bended knee.' So, that's actually how the story ended up."
Joshua and Jodie would eventually marry in December 2019. Shortly thereafter, Jodie gave birth to the couple's first child, Janie, in 2020.
In a recent interview with Elle UK, Jodie shared the ways becoming a mother to Juno helped to heal her of her wounds from colorism she experienced in the past. "It's interesting because I had a lot of resistance to becoming a mother and, throughout my life, I always said if I were to have children, I wanted to have Black, Black babies so that I could affirm them as children with the love that I felt I needed to have been affirmed with by the outside world," Jodie shared with the outlet.
She continued, "Then I fell in love with my husband and we talked about having kids. I did have this mini pause, where I was like, 'She's going to be walking through the world not only having an experience that I did not have, but looking like people that, in a way, I'd always felt a little bit tormented by.' Now that I've got this little, tiny, light-skinned boss, I feel like it’s the universe teaching me lessons. I've been given a daughter who looks this way to heal my own conversations around colorism."
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