

The coronavirus pandemic has unquestionably affected small businesses in a myriad of ways. From working remotely to dwindling revenues, regular processes are becoming a thing of the past as COVID-19 has forced business owners to significantly scale back their operations.
While the federal government recently rolled out a $2 trillion economic stimulus plan intended to aid US business and the American public, small businesses and entrepreneurs are currently struggling to make ends meet. While designed to slow the spread of the virus, social distancing has stripped small businesses of their in-person customers and all but shattered their cash flow. For many independent business owners, from photographers to hairstylists, the effects of the global pandemic can be challenging, if not devastating.
While undoing the effects of the coronavirus will be a much larger job, not all hope is lost. There are several ways that we can help still support our local businesses. We asked a variety of small business owners how people can aid their companies while we power through these tough times.
Jane, Founder of Nolaskinsentials
"Nolaskinsentials is a millennial, plant-based, cruelty-free skincare brand. We offer a variety of skincare products that cater to all types of concerns as well as skin types. To help provide our customers with accurate/personal recommendations, we also offer free skincare consultations as well!
"We're an e-commerce brand, so it's nothing out of the ordinary for us to continue shipping packages to our Nolababes. In terms of getting orders out in a timely fashion — that has been delayed due to the pandemic. However, we're still trying our very best to make sure everyone receives their items as safely and as quickly as possible.
"Our main concern right now is the safety of not only our customers, but everyone that this pandemic is currently affecting. With that being said, we feel the best option is to stay home and shop online for the things you need, skincare included. The safety risks are significantly lower than having to go out and publicly shop. With so many shortages of products from bigger brands, this is practically the best time to shop small businesses — we're fully stocked and ready to push out orders!
"In terms of remaining positive, I've been able to spend more time with my family for one. I also make it a point every morning to meditate and listen to my body and find out what it is I need to continue pushing through. My customers motivate me as well, they give me the extra 'umph' I need to get through the day. Because, well — acne doesn't stop just because we're in shambles. They truly keep me going, without a doubt."
Gabrielle McBay, Chef, Entrepreneur and Content Creator
"I provide private chef and boutique catering services. My business has definitely experienced unexpected change. As a chef, I work with people and events and now that everyone has been ordered to stay at home, all of my events for most of the year have been cancelled. I'm not sure when the next time is that I'll be able to work...and that's something that I don't think anyone can plan or be ready for. People can patronize small businesses during this time by supporting or sharing their products and services. Many businesses are trying to find new ways to reach customers online.
"Along with being a chef, I'm also a content creator. When COVID-19 started, I wrote a cookbook in 10 days with my followers on Instagram. I wanted to give people an easy cooking guide that will help them feel more comfortable in the kitchen, especially during this time. Patrons can support me by purchasing my new digital cookbook,You Have Food at Home.
"To be honest, it's been challenging to be calm and positive every day. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had my moments or been scared of what the future looks like. One thing I've been doing is giving myself grace to feel. It's OK to be sad or frustrated. But it's not OK to be consumed by fear and sit in worry. My faith motivates me to keep going. I trust God, above all things."
Dr. Alison Mitchell, MD, Founder and CEO, Renewed Hair Co.
"We provide clinically proven restorative hair care products that are 100% organic, non-toxic and yield results in the first 30 days. Our pioneer product, the Renewing Hair Elixir, combats a plethora of hair issues including hair loss, scalp irritation, balding, stunted growth and overall hair health.
"Thankfully, our products are made in the US, so we have been able to stay stocked. We have intensified many processes with our manufacturer and fulfillment company to ensure the utmost sterility and safety for our customers. We have, however, incurred delays in shipping times and processing of orders due to minimum personnel working at our centers. This pandemic has prompted us to be intentional with communication to customers and offering relief with reduced pricing during this time.
"There are many ways to support small businesses like ours during this time -- outside of making a purchase. Sharing a story about our products, liking and commenting on our social media pages and telling others about our hair care products are great ways to support. Also, when considering personal care while at home, giving thought to using Renewed Hair Co is hugely supportive.
"This company was founded on faith, and that same faith is what we are standing on to get through this difficult time. We began with a mission to help others solve devastating hair issues and through this pandemic our desire will remain the same. Though times are tough, our loyal customers still deserve to keep their hair healthy and flourishing. We know that this will pass, and we are determined to weather the storm until it does."
Kia Marie, Owner and Lead Event Planner for Kia Marie Events
"Kia Marie Events services includes event planning, event design, event management and one-on-one mentorship in event planning. It's the home for exclusive events for people who love to be elegantly entertained.
"We all are going through some form of change. I'm encouraging my clients to postpone their events instead of canceling. So far, we've postponed two events and two weddings into the fall season and the summer of 2021. The positive change is that I've been able to look at my business as a whole. I'm in the process of a rebrand and this has given me some time to enhance the Kia Marie Events experience for our clients.
"During this time, it's important for small businesses to let their past, present and future customers know that they are still in business. We can support small businesses by purchasing gift cards, online shopping, supporting local meal delivery services and sharing business offerings through social media platforms. If you have income coming in, invest in your business by signing up for memberships, coaching and industry educational courses. As for Kia Marie Events, we ask that clients support by postponing their events instead of canceling them. We are here to help our clients navigate and manage this process.
"When it comes to staying positive, I read daily affirmations, check on my circle daily and invest in my business. I also take breaks when needed. At first, I was bogged down with making sure my business was OK. But God has already confirmed that He has that part covered. So, for me keeping my head high, spending time with my family and keeping in touch with like-minded people keeps me calm and balanced."
Miriam Milord, Founder and Creative Director for BCakeNY
"BCakeNY is a custom cake studio located in Brooklyn, New York. Founded in 2009, we are dedicated to creating specialty cakes for all occasions. Our mission is to transfer our clients' vision into extraordinarily unique and delicious cakes. Our store front in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn is a community staple and we have been serving our clients over a decade now.
"BCakeNY has been majorly impacted by the pandemic. We mainly create cakes for large events like weddings and birthday parties and to keep people safe it was necessary to implement social distancing and ban large gatherings. For us this meant massive cancellations and layoffs. We had to immediately adjust to the new customer need of small cakes for at-home celebrations and virtual parties. We are working with a small staff now, from 18 down to five. It has been a tough adjustment, but we appreciate that we can still provide a service and jobs for a few employees.
"We support our neighborhood businesses by ordering in from restaurants or purchasing gift cards for friends and family. Small businesses are suffering, and we are trying to support our community as best as we can. We are offering smaller-sized custom cakes that can be ordered online for delivery or pick up. We also ship and deliver cake jars. When you order on our website, you can also donate a cupcake to our healthcare workers which we deliver to our local hospitals every week. Times are difficult for everyone and if you can't purchase from your favorite small biz right now, you can always support them by simply liking and sharing their social media posts.
"My employees and clients keep me motivated, we want to continue to provide jobs and joy. Birthdays still happen every day and smiles and joy are so needed right now. We work hard for that every day, despite the uncertainty of these times."
Fatima, Makeup Artist, Content Creator and Beauty Influencer
"I offer beauty services to clients for weddings, fashion shows, photo shoots and special events. With this being prom, graduation and wedding season, my appointments have been postponed until further notice.
"Some of the most effective ways to support small businesses during this time is to like and share their social media content as well as purchasing their products. Being home more allows me time to work on my craft, brainstorm and research different things that inspire me.
"What really keeps me motivated is the people who are still reaching out to me and letting me know when this is all over, they still want me to be a part of their most memorable moments."
Mecca Gamble McConnell, Photographer
"My company, Mecca Gamble Photography, offers brand photography for women of color. Due to the stay-at-home orders, I can't shoot, and I've had to cancel, reschedule and refund a number of shoots and upcoming events.
"Customers can support my business by rescheduling or booking future dates on the calendar. Right now, I am really leaning on my faith and my family. Professionally, I have a group of colleagues who support me and keep me encouraged. During this time, I am enjoying the opportunity to learn new things."
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Featured image via Mecca Gamble McConnell/Instagram
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'Black Girl Magic' Poet Mahogany L. Browne Talks Banned Books And The Power Of The Creative Pivot
You know you’re dealing with a truly talented and profound voice of a generation when the powers that be attempt to silence it. As a poet, educator, and cultural curator, Mahogany L. Browne has carved out a powerful space in the world of literature and beyond.
From penning the viral poem, “Black Girl Magic,” to writing Woke: A Young Poet’s Call To Justice (a book once banned from a Boston school library), to becoming the 2024 Paterson Poetry Prize winner and a poet-in-residence at Lincoln Center—her path exemplifies resilience, reinvention, and unapologetic artistry. She's published more than 40 works and paid the bills with her craft, a divine dream for many creatives seeking release, autonomy, and freedom in a tough economic climate.
A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
60% Of Couples Skip Intimacy On Their Wedding Night. Please Don't Be One Of 'Em.
Anyone who knows me will absolutely vouch for the fact that one of my favorite things to do is learn about Hebrew culture (because Christ was a Jew, after all — Matthew 27:11). And since marital covenant is also a profound passion of mine, combining the two is loads of fun — this includes when it comes to understanding an old tradition known as yichud.
Back in the day, immediately following the wedding ceremony, a new husband and wife would leave their guests for approximately 18 minutes (bookmark that) in order to consummate (bookmark that too) their marriage. Once they did, then the reception could officially begin. Y’all, that is how much intimacy was immediately prioritized between two spanking new newlyweds.
Fast forward to today — le sigh — and while the tradition isn’t really upheld anymore, in my opinion, perhaps it should be. I say that because, did you know that, when it comes to wedding night copulation, less than 40 percent of couples make that a priority these days?
And while, on the surface, that might not seem that much of a big deal, if you sit tight, I’m going to explain to you why, as a marriage life coach for over 20 years at this point, I 1000 percent believe that it is — a much bigger deal than many people would ever imagine.
Keeping yichud in mind, let me first take a moment to break down why you should consummate your marriage as soon as possible following your wedding; then I will follow that up with providing a few hacks to make sure that you have the mind, body, and spirit to actually do so.
Remember What “Consummate” Means
Let’s start off with what the word “consummate” actually means. You know, the same way that it irritates me when people who are dating say that they are monogamous instead of exclusive (check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”), it also low-key irritates me when unmarried people who have sex for the first time say that they “consummated” their relationship. Why? Because consummate has specific meanings, and that ain’t one of them.
To consummate actually means “to complete (the union of a marriage) by the first marital sexual intercourse.” Back in ancient Jewish times, this was a really big deal because, more times than not, the couple was having sex for the very first time with one another (oftentimes, it was their first time being alone together as well).
These days, it’s been reported that only 10 percent of men and seven percent of women between the ages of 22-34 are still virgins; however, even if you’re not a virgin and shoot, even if your wedding night isn’t the first time that you’re having sex with your partner, the word “consummate” still applies because it’s the first time that you will be having sex with him as your husband and you as his wife — which is still a different kind of intimacy (check out “10 Wives Tell Me What They Wish They Knew About 'Married Sex'”).
I say that because…do you know what else consummate means? It means “to complete (an arrangement, agreement, or the like) by a pledge or the signing of a contract” and “to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill.” In other words, saying your vows isn’t what fully completes your wedding day — consummating your marriage is.
Let’s keep going…
Prioritize “Completion”
Okay, so by the literal definitions of consummate, a husband and a wife complete their union of marriage by having sex. By doing that, it brings their new kind of relationship into a state of perfection and fulfillment. It also makes their formal marriage arrangement complete. That is how important consummating your marital union is — so, why in the world would you not want to prioritize that?
Especially when you stop to think about the fact that complete means things like “having all parts or elements; lacking nothing; whole; entire; full”, “finished; ended; concluded,” “having all the required or customary characteristics, skills, or the like; consummate; perfect in kind or quality.” Hmph. Looks to me like the wedding vows, the exchanging of rings, the jumping of brooms, the reception — none of this results in a marriage getting into a state of “lacking nothing” or the day being “finished” or the marital relationship “having all of the required and customary characteristics” like SEX does.
That’s how essential it’s supposed to be seen and treated in a marital relationship (sexless couples, please remember that and also check out “10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important “ and “How 10 Couples Reignited Their Sex Lives After Facing A Sexless Marriage” ). And THIS is why it’s so unfortunate that 60 percent of couples don’t see it this way.
Honestly, I’d venture to say that it’s because most haven’t even thought about how paramount the word “consummate” actually is and yet, again, as a marriage life coach (and someone who speaks on marital covenant A LOT), it’s my job to make sure to put as many engaged couples (or folks who want to be married someday) on notice — because if you can make sure that you take your wedding pictures, that you dance at your reception and that you hug the folks who you haven’t seen in years…you can certainly make time to PERFECT YOUR UNION with your spouse.
Hmph, let me tell it, if you do that on your wedding night, it will remind you to prioritize it during the rest of your marriage. It’s a foundational principle that deserves high respect and much consideration. And what if you’re like, “I hear you, Shellie, but I always hear that people are usually too tired for sex on their wedding night”? You know a saying that gets on my nerves and yet here, it does somewhat apply: “If you wanted to, you would” — and I believe that if you take the word “consummate” literally and seriously, you will make a way, no matter what. I do have a few tips to help you out, though.
Get Rest the Night Before
Hands down, the two top reasons for why couples don’t have sex on their wedding night are either because they were too tired or they were too drunk. I’ll hit the drunk thing in a moment; however, when it comes to the tired thing — listen, I get it. Fewer days are going to be longer and take more out of you than your wedding day will. I will say this, though: the couples I know who waited until their wedding night, they somehow found the energy (because they had something new to look forward to) which means that, again, what is important to us, we certainly will make time for — and it’s important to see sex, in marriage, as not just a fun activity but a supernatural mental, emotional and spiritual bond:
"There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.'" (I Corinthians 6:16 — Message)
That’s why it’s so important to, instead of staying up all night giggling and cackling with your friends the night before your nuptials, that you actually get some rest. Also, even though I know you want to avoid any bulge and bloat that you can, make sure that you at least snack on some fruit while getting ready the next day. Both of these things will help to give you fuel in order to get through the day — and night. So will one more thing…but let me tackle being drunkety-drunk-drunk matter first.
Toast. Don’t Get Drunk, Though.
A wedding reception is one big party that is being thrown in your and your beloved’s honor, and you should take in every moment of it. That doesn’t mean that you need to toss back multiple tequila shots and participate in every toast at every table, though. Listen, it’s no secret that having too much alcohol in one’s system can affect a man’s stamina (and not in a good way) and can have your sex drive on a roller coaster ride (also not in a good way), not to mention that it could cause you to pass right on out.
So, in the spirit of completing your marriage (again, literally) — how about sipping on champagne during the formal toasts and leaving it at that? After all, you’ve got bigger matters to celebrate…later on.
Don’t Be the Last One to Leave Your Reception
There are two weddings that I remember attending in my lifetime where the husband and wife honestly couldn’t care less about their reception. LOL. During one wedding, the couple basically ate the cake and did the bouquet and garter toss all at once; hell, I don’t even remember them eating anything. I was actually in the wedding party and didn’t get to say “goodbye” either. They were outta there. Another couple? They didn’t show up to the reception at all! They actually recorded a video that ran during it where the husband said, “I know what salmon tastes like. I’m trying to figure some other things out.”
Meanwhile, another wedding that I went to where the couple lived together prior to their wedding day? Since the wedding and reception were at a plush hotel, many of their guests were staying at the same spot. So, after the couple shut down the reception, they then went hotel room hopping until wee hours of the morning. When I asked them what in the world they were doing, the bride literally said, “Girl, we’ve lived together for years. We can have sex any time.”
See what I mean? See what happens when you don’t fully grasp how important consummating your marriage is? It’s not “just sex” anymore — it’s perfecting some things. So yeah, definitely don’t be the last two people to leave your wedding reception, especially if you sense that you are starting to run on fumes. You need to do something more important than being the last people on the dance floor — and you already know what that thing is.
Book Your Honeymoon Flight for Later in the Day (or the Following One)
Another reason why many couples don’t consummate their marriage on their wedding night is because they are rushing to go to bed so that they can catch their honeymoon flight. For this, honestly, it’s wiser to wait until the evening of the following day, if not the day after that. Not only will that give you time to “complete” your union, but afterwards, you can get a lot of the rest that you crave.
I’m telling you — if there is one thing that far too many couples do when it comes to their after-the-ceremony plans, it’s put unnecessary pressure on themselves by putting together a super strict schedule that they really don’t need. You’re married now, and whatever location you’re going to isn’t going anywhere. RELAX. HAVE SOME SEX. RINSE. REPEAT. THEN LEAVE.
Keep Your Expectations Realistic
Okay, one more thing about the whole “it’s important to consummate” point, and then I’ll be out of y’all’s hair. It actually circles back to the yichud tradition that I mentioned in the intro. Remember how I said that Jewish couples were left alone for 18 minutes? Well, in some of my other sex-themed content, I’ve shared that many couples are more than fine with intercourse lasting somewhere between 7 and 13 minutes.
My point? Listen, nowhere in this article did I say that y’all had to have 90s R&B sex the first time that the two of you come together as husband and wife. I simply said that you need to consummate the relationship, and I’m pretty sure that you both can muster up at least 10 minutes to make that happen. All of the “all night long” stuff — yeah, do that on your honeymoon. However, making sure that “oneness” transpires, so that the perfection of your union is established? That needs to happen as soon as possible.
____
An author by the name of Abhijit Naskar once said, “Sex is not just about going in or letting in, it is really about welcoming your dearly beloved into the deepest regions of your psyche, which are inaccessible to anybody else.” Truer words could not have been said than when it comes to a husband and wife.
Sex ain’t “just sex” in a marriage, y’all. It’s far more than that.
Consummate that thing. Down the pike, you’ll be oh so glad that you did.
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Featured image by Giphy