

Y'all, if there is any phrase that could serve as the official one for 2020, it would have to be, "Whew. I need a drink!". So, while it's still basically burning up outside, I figured it would be (no pun intended) cool to share with you some alcoholic recipes that center around two themes—summertime and your sex drive. All of these either feature a fruit that is in season during the summer season or they're the type of drink that seems best served during the warmer times of the year. Plus, all of them have ingredients (including alcohol which automatically lowers our inhibitions) that can make you want to enjoy a sunset and then—an even longer night.
So, if you'd like to kick back and enjoy a drink that tastes good and will make your sex life even better, make sure to bookmark this article. That way, next time you go to the grocery and liquor store, you'll know just what to get to boost your libido way up!
1. Kiwi Blackberry Summer Sangria
(Recipe by Yummy Mummy Kitchen)
- A bottle of white wine
- 12 ounce can or container of berry juice
- 3 very ripe kiwis, peeled and sliced
- 1/2 cup of blackberries
- 1/3 cup of loosely packed fresh mint
Put all of the ingredients into a large pitcher. Stir until well mixed with a wooden spoon. Then refrigerate until you're ready to drink it.
I personally don't know anyone who doesn't thoroughly enjoy a tall glass of Sangria. Well, if you want to try one that will help to totally get you in the mood, this one will do it. First up, kiwi (for the record, some are in peak season from March thru June while others are from June thru August), is packed with Vitamin C. Not only does Vitamin C play a significant role in keeping your immune system nice and strong, it also helps to keep hormones like androgen, estrogen and progesterone balanced. Plus, Vitamin C has a pretty good reputation for boosting sex drives and increasing fertility as well.
Then, when you add blackberries (which are their ripest between June and August) into the mix, the Vitamin E (along with Vitamin C) that are in them can increase blood circulation throughout your body (including when it comes to your genitals), intensify your orgasms and can even make you hornier if your libido has been lower lately.
Oh, and of course, the white wine helps. That's because wine contains ethanol which is a type of alcohol that stimulates the part of your brain that regulates your hormone levels and elevates your sex drive.
(As a heads up, I changed the mint from ½ cup to 1/3 cup because too much menthol can actually decrease testosterone levels in some people. If you want to just use it as a garnish, that's cool too.)
2. Chilled Mexican Chocolate Cocktail
(Recipe by Rick Bayless)
- 2 ounces of chilled Mexican hot chocolate
- 1 ½ ounces of añejo tequila
- ½ ounce of ancho chile liqueur
- Shaved Mexican chocolate (for garnish)
Put all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 15-20 seconds. Double strain into a martini glass and then add chocolate for garnish.
OK, so I'm kinda already thinking that you've heard somewhere that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. The main two reasons why are because 1) chocolate contains tryptophan which helps to build serotonin; that helps to increase sexual arousal in both men and women, and 2) chocolate has the organic compound phenylethylamine in it; it helps people to feel more attached to one another. As far as tequila (which is made by steaming the agave plant) goes, well—if you've ever had a couple of shots of it before, you know how it can quickly get you to turn up! Many Mexicans consider it to be the strongest of all aphrodisiacs (chile). Chilling this drink makes it the perfect summer deck cocktail.
3. Champagne Ginger Cocktail
(Recipe by The Seasoned Mom)
- 2 teaspoons of grated fresh ginger
- 1/2 cup of granulated white sugar
- 1/4 cup of water
- A pinch ground cinnamon (optional)
- A pinch ground nutmeg (optional)
- 1 bottle of summer champagne
Place a fine mesh sieve over a large bowl. In a small saucepan, combine ginger, sugar (along with the cinnamon and nutmeg, if you wish) and bring everything to a boil while stirring the mixture for two minutes. Pour the syrup through the sieve. Refrigerate the syrup in a glass bottle. When you're ready to serve the drinks, put a tablespoon of the syrup into a champagne flute and fill the glass with champagne. Serve immediately.
If you didn't know that ginger serves as its own aphrodisiac, now is as a good a time as any to bring that fact up. It's the kind of plant that is great for men as it relates to their strengthening their libido and improving their sperm quality. One study even revealed that ginger is a natural way to help treat erectile dysfunction. And, if you add it to a nice rosé—which is more "summery" than say, a red wine—it can feel light and festive. Oh, and while adding cinnamon and nutmeg is totally up to you, cinnamon is a sexy scent that is able to warm up your body in a way that simulates feeling aroused while nutmeg is a stimulant that has been associated with natural ways to treat infertility.
4. Grapefruit and Cucumber-Infused Cocktail
(Recipe by Modest Marce)
For the cucumber-infused vodka:
- 1 cup of vodka
- ½ cucumber, sliced
For the cocktail:
- 1 ½ ounce of cucumber infused vodka
- 1 teaspoon of white sugar
- 2 ounces of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
- 1 to 2 ounces of sparkling water
- ½ cucumber, sliced for garnish
In order to infuse the cucumbers with the vodka, place both ingredients into a glass jar and let everything sit overnight. The next day, strain out the cucumber slices. Put the vodka, along with all of the other ingredients, into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 30-40 seconds. Then pour the drink into a glass that is filled with ice and serve immediately.
For the most part, the top of the year through August is the best time to slice open a couple of grapefruits. On the libido-boosting tip, it's a fruit that is loaded with Vitamin C, folic acid and antioxidants. The combination of those nutrients is able to increase your sex drive. Plus, if you're a woman who has been experiencing a low level of estrogen, this is a fruit that can actually alter the enzyme aromatase, so that the testosterone in your system can be turned into estrogen. The cucumbers in this drink contain Vitamin B3 to keep you and your partner's hormones well-balanced. If you wanna kick things up a couple of more notches, try some Lust Vodka. You can read why I say so here.
5. Spicy Ancho Chile Daiquiri
(Recipe by Vine Pair)
- 1 ounce of rum
- 1 ounce of Ancho Reyes Verde
- 1 ounce of lime juice
- ½ ounce of simple syrup
- 1 cup of ice
Combine all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake them for 30 seconds and strain them in a serving glass. Add a fresh chile (if you'd like) for garnish.
Limes are at their best if you cop them between May and October. Since they're considered to be a citrus fruit, they can help your sex life out because they've got vitamins B and C, along with potassium and folic acid. Vitamins B and C are great for maintaining overall sexual health, folic acid keeps women's reproductive health intact and potassium can help to keep your blood pressure low so that blood circulation flows freely and your partner's erections remain strong and long.
6. Gin Cocktail with Honey and Lemon Cordial
(Recipe by Simply-Delicious-Food)
- ¾ cup fynbos honey
- 2 cups water
- ¾ cup muscovado dark brown sugar
- Juice and zest of 4 lemons
Put all of the ingredients into a saucepan and bring them to a boil. Turn down the burner and allow the mixture to simmer for 15 minutes until it turns an amber color. Remove the mixture from the heat and allow it to completely cool down. Then strain the lemon zest. Pour the liquid into glass bottles and refrigerate until the drink is cold. (This should last for a couple of months if you keep the bottles in the refrigerator.)
Lemons are also a citrus fruit. But aside from the other libido-boosting benefits that I've already mentioned, there are a few more reasons to want to get more lemons into your system when it comes to improving your sexual health and, ultimately your sex life. Lemons are able to assist in detoxifying your system; the less toxins you've got, the easier it will be for your blood to flow through your system. Lemons also contain anti-inflammatory properties that can support your man's erections to last longer. Lemons can kick your metabolism into overdrive and, thanks to the citrate that's in them, lemons can help to reduce any bodily pain or discomfort you might be feeling too. Plus, if you add a little bit of honey into the mix, honey can make the drink and its after-effects that much sweeter due to the B vitamins in it that will assist in the production of your partner's testosterone as the boron that's also in it will elevate your estrogen levels, just a tad.
7. The Summer Fling
(Recipe by I'd Rather Be a Chef)
- 1 bottle of rosé
- 10 strawberries, sliced
- 1/2 lemon, sliced
- 2 1/2 cups of lemonade
- 1 bottle champagne or cava
Put the sliced strawberries and lemons into a glass pitcher. Then add the champagne and lemon, cover the pitcher, and put the mixture into the freezer so that it can marinate for at least 4-5 hours. Next, fill your champagne flutes up halfway, topping your glasses off with champagne or cava.
Honestly, May and June are the time of the year when you're almost guaranteed to get a deliciously sweet batch of strawberries, pretty much any time you go to the store. But if you purchase some now until summer ends, you should still be alright. Good thing too because strawberries top the list of being a super sexy fruit. Besides them being sexy to watch someone eat, strawberries are another fruit that are high in Vitamin C. Not only that, but strawberries are full of zinc; zinc can help to increase your vaginal lubrication while keeping your partner's sperm nice and healthy. The aphrodisiacs in these types of berries can increase blood circulation too, including the blood that goes down to you and yours' genitalia and—well, we already discussed that that can do. #wink
8. Saratoga Cocktail
(Recipe by Cold-Glass)
- 1 ounce of brandy
- 1 ounce of rye whiskey
- 1 ounce of sweet vermouth
- 2 dashes of Angostura bitters
- A couple of orange slices
Combine all of the ingredients into a glass bottle. Then pour into a chilled cocktail glass that's filled with ice cubes and garnish it with a slice of orange.
This drink gets its own shout-out because bitters are also a wonderful detoxifier. As a bonus, bitters have also been attributed to helping to alleviate back pain and stomachaches. This is great to know if your head wants to get some, but your body isn't totally into the idea—just yet. A couple of glasses of this and you could be good to go in under an hour or less. So, drink up while the summer is still super hot (and can get even hotter), sis!
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
"I Was A Bad Husband": Devale Ellis On Love, Growth, & Showing Up Differently
Long before Devale Ellis became known for his radical honesty online or as an actor starring in projects like Zatima, the Brooklyn native was a young husband figuring out what it meant to lead. Now, as a father of four and husband to his wife Khadeen for 14 years (15 years on July 4), the author of We Over Me is opening up about the real-life lessons that have helped shape him into the man he is today.
In a recent episode of xoNecole's xoMAN podcast, Devale sat down for an unfiltered conversation with host Kiara Walker about marriage, masculinity, and how fatherhood ultimately saved him from himself. The former NFL player held nothing back as he spoke candidly about the work he did to unlearn outdated ideals about what it means to be a man, and how learning to be emotionally present was a catalyst for change in his 22-year relationship with his wife.
"I was a bad husband because I wasn't present emotionally."
"I know this may come off as misogynistic," Devale shared in the episode, "but I feel like it's the responsibility as a man to pay for everything." It was a belief that was shaped by his father who taught him that to provide for a woman, especially one you're creating a family with, is a non-negotiable as a man.
Devale recalled the words of his father: "What if she gets sick? What if she deals with postpartum depression? What if the child has issues and someone needs to be there? My father was like that’s your responsibility. Don’t put that on nobody else…"
"My pops don't believe in the 50/50 bullshit. My pops ain't with that," he continued. "So I took that on. Of course, now times have changed, but that’s just my way of looking at it. So since that’s my way of looking at it, I make sure every morning my wife wakes up, she don’t gotta worry about the lights coming on, you know, who’s paying the rent. But also, I make sure that I’m present."
Still, it wasn't always like that for the Dead-Ass podcast co-host. Devale admitted that at one point he identified as a "bad husband" because presence wasn't always as important to him as providing, given the "old-fashioned way" masculinity was modeled to him.
"I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally, you know what I’m saying. I wasn’t present spiritually. I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources because I was too focused on that one linear thing, ‘I gotta provide.’ And I learned that after about five years of marriage and after we had our second child that I had to be more."
“Being a man is about being consistent.”
Change doesn't happen overnight but Devale's revelation marked a turning point in his marriage and relationship with Khadeen overall. From the moment, he began to shift from the man he was used to being and evolve into who he aspired to become as a husband and a father. In doing so, the transformation became a catalyst for deeper connection and service.
He explained, "In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me..."
His outlook on what it means to be a man and masculinity as a whole also leveled up. "Being a man is about being consistent." No longer did he define masculinity as primarily providing financially for his wife and family, but it also meant providing an emotional presence, a spiritual presence, and most importantly, an understanding that leadership wasn't about control, it was about care and consideration.
Speaking of care and consideration, Devale would eventually make another choice that many men shy away from...
Choosing a vasectomy out of love for his wife
After having four sons, Devale and Khadeen once thought about having a fifth child in hopes for a daughter. But everything changed for the couple when Khadeen experienced postpartum preeclampsia. The health scare solidified their decision to be done with family planning, and although hormonal birth control was on the table, Devale didn't want to put that responsibility on Khadeen who began experiencing iron deficiency from heavy bleeding and blood clots.
"I was like, 'Bro, so I almost lost you twice, you've had three natural births, two at the house, okay, this is my time now to take over as a man and say, 'I'll get a vasectomy.' Because I don't want you to have to deal with birth control so let me be the one on birth control."
Despite the stigma and concerns of having a vasectomy, which he goes into detail about on the xoMAN podcast, the move proved to be yet another example of Devale's preferred method of leadership, one where he strives to choose empathy over ego.
"Fatherhood made me a better person."
Similarly to the way he beams when talking about Khadeen, there's a gentleness that undercuts the more serious aspects of his personality when he speaks about his sons: Jackson, Kairo, Kaz, and Dakota. In the episode, the former athlete shared, "Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do life all over."
In regards to being a father, he shared that "fatherhood made me a better person," which is the heart of the title of his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself. As he raises four Black sons into Black Kings, Devale shared that he is mindful of the legacy he seeks to leave behind. "A part of Black masculinity to me is showing kids that they matter. That they deserve to be loved."
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by Ray Tamarra/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock