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Six Things Women Wished Men Knew In Dating

Women are not as complicated as many men make them out to be.

Dating

Women are not as complicated as many men make them out to be. Sure, women have their emotional moments and sometimes their heart can be as guarded (with good reasons) as the Great Wall of China. However, they are pretty straightforward about what they are looking for in regards to dating and commitment.

In fact, here are 6 things most women wished men knew in dating.

1. Women are attracted to men who are proactively on their journey towards WHOLENESS.

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No one likes a mess and more specifically, cleaning up after one. Despite what culture may have the world to believe, a majority of women are attracted to men who have taken the time to learn about themselves, reflect on their past mistakes and are on their healing journey. There are various perspectives around what defines wholeness, but what many men do not know is that we do not expect a man to be 100% healed because healing is a never-ending journey that requires work. A man who is proactive and intentional with his self-development is usually emotionally available, and that is certainly attractive.

2. Women want men to be OVER their ex/exes.

It does not matter how fabulous, purpose-driven, intelligent, or beautiful a woman is; if the man is not completely over his ex, then she stands no chance. There are no exceptions for this and when women make excuses for it, they tend to find themselves in situationships or left empty in the end. Therefore, many women find great comfort when men speak of their ex/exes in past tense, as well as with no animosity or bitterness in their tone of voice.

3. Women want men to communicate, not carry an interview.

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A majority of women value verbal communication (via phone or in person) not "interview questions" that are often exchanged through texting. Most women will agree when I say that we do not like the "tell me about yourself" or "what do you like to do" question. They desire real communication that cultivates knowledge, vulnerability and genuine passion that is sparked. So when men ask women those "safe" questions, they actually learn less about who they are.

Instead, some women would prefer the following questions:

  • If you could wake up to your dream job, what would your typical day look like?
  • What are your current thoughts around {insert current event}?
  • I see you are very devoted to your faith. What was that journey like for you to get to that place?

4. Women want men to specify if the FIRST outing is a date or not.

An outing is something that friends or acquaintances do but a date is a person's way of investing their time, energy, and sometimes money (for the big ballers) to evaluate if the person is worth getting to know on a more romantic level. If a woman is looking for something serious, she does not want to spend ample time assuming that the intention of the outing is genuine interest when in reality, it is just a hang out and chill type of outing that may continue for a couple of days, weeks or months until someone "better" comes along.

Therefore, women desire and deserve to be validated on whether or not the outing is a date or just hanging out. That information allows a woman to determine how she should navigate that outing, if she chooses to go. If a woman is told that you guys going bowling is a casual outing, do not be surprised if you see her flirting with a guy at the concession stand or playing the staring game with a guy in the next lane.

5. Women are nurturing by nature but they like to be nurtured.

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When God created women, he added a nurturing bone in her body and from then on, women have been known to be one of the most nurturing people on earth. While nurturing others is greatly beneficial to their partner, women still have a strong desire to receive it. When a woman is nurtured correctly and consistently, the walls surrounding her heart comes down. She most likely finds you to be her safe place since you have set a welcoming atmosphere for her to be vulnerable to you.

6. Women find consistency to not be overbearing when the interest is mutual.

Consistency will NEVER get old or become outdated. Women are attracted to effort from men. As a result, it provides women a space to lower down her walls. In essence, women must be proven through consistent actions that you are worth opening up to. If consistency is lacked, progress usually will not be made.

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