On a warm Friday evening, a few months before we found ourselves at the departure end of the Murtala Muhammad airport in Lagos, Nigeria, my husband and I finally sat down to figure out where to spend our Christmas holiday. We had put it off for a bit, procrastinating like we always do, but with only a few months left until the holiday season, it was now or never.
We wanted none of the fast-paced life that being in our city, Lagos presented. The year had been incredibly long, so we were choosing to ease into the new year in a slow, languorous way. Cappadocia in Turkey was high on our list, but eventually, we narrowed our options to the African continent. We are both Nigerians and fiercely proud of our African heritage, so we wanted to immerse ourselves in and enjoy more of what the continent had to offer.
Soon enough, we settled for Senegal for the diversity of its offerings: Senegal is home to 7 UNESCO world heritage sites, the tallest statue in Africa, has some of the most beautiful beaches, and is rich in culture and history. Many people visit Senegal solely for Dakar, its capital city. But if you search a little deeper and open your mind a little wider, you will discover that Senegal has more to offer than Dakar.
In our case, we explored two other cities in addition to Dakar, and looking back, I honestly can't imagine experiencing Senegal in any other way.
Saly
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our first stop was the beautiful beachside resort area of Saly, located in the Thiès region of western Senegal. We were welcomed into Saly by the most gorgeous sunset I had ever seen. It seemed to stretch for miles, following us on our ride to the hotel, dipping in and out as the roads winded as if to let us know that there was even more beauty awaiting us. Saly is a top tourist area in Senegal, and it is immediately clear why when you visit. It has the most gorgeous sunset and beaches, all ingredients for the perfect vacation.
Quick history tidbit: Saly was originally a Portuguese trading post known as Porto de Ale, which became Portudal, and later Sali Portudal.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
As we pulled up to our hotel taking in the last sights of the glorious sunset, the waves in the far-off distance crashed against the beach, and we felt completely at home. Starting our Senegal city hopping with Saly couldn’t have been a more perfect choice.
Although we spent a good chunk of our time in Saly indoors rejuvenating, we eventually ventured out to take a walk and feel the pulse of the city center. Neon lights and signs wishing people a happy holiday told us that this is a city that really values the people that it welcomes.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
We also visited the Reserve de Bandia nature reserve which is about 15 kilometers from Saly and houses a lot of wild animals and over 120 species of birds. We opted for a private park guide instead of the group tours, so we went through the place in good time. Right opposite the reserve is their lion ranch. We found out about this much later, so sadly we didn’t get to see the lions.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our stay in Saly was truly invigorating, albeit short, so we couldn’t do a lot of things but we made sure to visit the arts and crafts market to find a bit of Saly to take home with us so that our trip here is forever memorialized.
Saint-Louis
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our next stop after saying goodbye to our beautiful beach house in Saly was the island of Saint-Louis (or Ndar as it is called in the Wolof language), a city of brightly colored buildings, horse-drawn carts, and a charming rustic vibe. Saint-Louis is a good four-hour drive from Saly; not exactly the most scenic drive, but not the worst road trip we have been on either (and we have been on many).
In Saint-Louis, the influence of the colonizers is still visible. Albeit on the cusps of debilitation, the buildings are mainly colonial-style architecture, and as we later learned, have been intentionally preserved that way. (It is against the city rules to alter the building’s original external features.)
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Despite the long road trip to Saint-Louis, we were enamored by the city’s narrow roads, distinctive architecture, and laid-back vibes. Life seemed to move slowly in Saint-Louis, but we had zero complaints about this. It was exactly what we needed.
Quick history tidbit: Saint-Louis was the capital of Senegal from 1673 until 1902 and French West Africa from 1895 until 1902, when the capital was moved to Dakar. From 1920 to 1957, it also served as the capital of the neighboring colony of Mauritania which shares a border. The island of Saint-Louis is also a UNESCO world heritage site.
One thing we immediately noticed in Saint-Louis is the sheer number of people milling around in the streets, ready to approach you to make a case for whatever service or products they offer. And so it happened that on our arrival to Saint-Louis, whilst still trying to move our luggage from the trunk to the foyer of our hotel, we managed to make acquaintance with a convenience store owner and secure a date with an English-speaking tour guide for the next day.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
On our first day, we did a short walking tour of the city to find somewhere to grab lunch, but ended up learning about a concept called “slow food.” In Saint Louis, a good chunk of the restaurants there practice “slow food,” a concept hinged on a quality over quantity disposition, where meals are prepared lovingly with fresh produce and with a slower approach to cooking. Consequently, these restaurants open much later in the day. It was interesting to see a shift from fast food consumerism, but my stomach didn’t appreciate the late opening times.
Because Senegal borders the Atlantic Ocean, fish is a key part of their cuisine. Three beloved dishes in Senegal are Thiéboudienne (Senegalese jollof rice), Yassa, and Mafe. Whatever you do, make sure you don't leave Senegal without trying Thieboudienne, Bissap (Hibiscus juice), and Bouye juice (juice from the Baobab tree).
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
The next day, we had a simple breakfast and headed out with the tour guide for a horse-driven half-day tour of the island. He took us through the city and showed us the different facets of the island, pointing out the landmarks and noteworthy sights such as the Governor’s Palace, the cathedral and grand mosque, and the fishing village. It was particularly sad to see the effect of climate change and the subsequent decay in some parts of the city, especially in the fishing village.
We also visited the art studio of Meissa and Bassirou Fall. Our tour guide pointed it out during the tour as a must-see, so we visited the next day and it was truly magical. Meissa and Bassirou Fall are a father-son duo who make unique art sculptures from discarded bicycle and motorcycle parts.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Some say that a visit to Saint-Louis is not complete without visiting the Djoudj National Bird Sanctuary (a day trip) and the Langue de Barbarie (a half-day trip) but we opted out as we didn’t want to pack too many activities into our vacation.
At night, we’d walk to the Faidherbe Bridge and marvel at how beautiful it looks when lit up. The Faidherbe Bridge is a road bridge over the Senegal River that links the island of the city of Saint-Louis in Senegal to the African mainland. You’ll cross it when driving into Saint-Louis but it is definitely worth a visit at night when it gets lit up.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Dakar
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Ah, Dakar! Dakar was a love-hate experience for us. It reminded me a lot of my city in Nigeria: Lagos. They both have the same chaotic energy and buzz in the air, with little glimpses of magical moments that make you think it’s really not so bad after all. Leaving Dakar for last was an intentional decision because it was going to be the place with the most activity for us. We had a list of places we wanted to see but eventually only managed to do two out of the four places. There are only so many activities you can fit into a trip when you have just three days to spend.
Quick history tidbit: In 1902, Dakar replaced Saint-Louis as the capital of French West Africa. From 1959 to 1960, Dakar was the capital of the short-lived Mali Federation. In 1960, it became the capital of the independent Republic of Senegal.
On the top of our list was the Monument de la Renaissance (The African Renaissance Monument), the tallest statue in Africa which was erected to mark Senegal’s 50 years of independence. After surviving the many steps that led to the front door of the statue (think of it as a mini hike), we paid an entrance fee and were ushered in.
Inside told a story of Senegal, the African slave trade, and its journey to freedom/independence. We also got to see some unique artworks and crafts owned by the then-president of Senegal, Abdoulaye Wade. Afterward, we took an elevator to the top of the statue for a bird's-eye view of the city.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
The next day, we set off to visit the highly acclaimed Goree Island (Île de Gorée in French). Goree is a beautiful and picturesque island with a not-so-beautiful past. It was the site of one of the most important slave trade ports in West Africa where millions of enslaved Africans were taken through to never return again. Now, it is a UNESCO World Heritage site and houses a community of about 1800 permanent residents.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Goree attracts over 500,000 tourists yearly who visit for its history or solely to enjoy its visual aesthetics. But one thing is for sure, Goree Island is definitely a key part of anyone’s travels through Senegal so it felt fitting to end our time there with it. The next day, we packed our bags and said our goodbyes.
It was time to return back home.
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Featured image by Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock