xoGift Guide 2019: Gifts For The Self-Care Enthusiast
Self-care looks different for everyone. Most importantly, self-care should include meeting your own needs, mentally and physically first, so that you can meet the needs of the outside world. It's less about self-indulgence and more about self-preservation. This catalog is dedicated to the self-care enthusiast AND the significant other who could use a little more self-care.
We decided to compile this list because no matter who you're gifting, they need some self-care items in their life. One can never have enough self-care. 2020 = self-full, not selfish. Shop on for some amazing recharging goodies!
Me Time: Dead Sea Soaking Salt
heritage1933
The benefits of scheduling me time are endless. Adding these bath salts to your scheduled bath will relax your body, ease stress, relieve pain and muscle cramps while also exfoliating dead skin. Prada's social media guru Candace Marie told us that she takes a bubble bath every single day as a form of self-care. "Because it makes me stop and say, 'This is my time.'"
Self-Care: A Day and Night Reflection Journal
Amazon
Tip: Self-reflecting three times a day makes for a happier soul. And this journal will keep you focused and aligned by jotting down your reflections. According to Insight Editions, "The journal offers a space to commit to your self-care routine with intention and dedication—helping you develop positive thinking, overcome challenging and stressful experiences and negative emotions, and cultivate a general sense of well-being and a healthy lifestyle." $13 sounds amazing for such a great product; talk about a good coin spent.
Tata Harper Aromatic Stress Treatment
Tata Harper's Aromatic Stress Treatment really creates a soothing feeling that promotes inner peace and serenity. A little goes a long way and it even aids troublesome migraines. With ingredients like bergamot, neroli, and sandalwood, it inspires a calming balance to soothe feelings of anxiety and stress.
The Gravity Blanket
I have added this item to my wish list because it's reminiscent of a forever hug. Many weighted blankets use Deep Touch Pressure (DTP) or Deep Pressure Stimulation (DPS) to improve relaxation with weighted materials like plastic pelts. Many consumers say that the beauty of the weighted blanket, or gravity blanket, is how it creates a comfortable cocoon that recreates the magic of getting a warm hug.
SELF CARE Candle for Self Love & Well-Being
Setting intentions are a major key in your self-care journey. ScentualGoddess.com is here to help you get it done with her Self-Care candle. The lid even reads inspirational affirmations to read aloud while burning the handmade soy candle.
Simple Pleasures Luxury Robe & Spa Set
Keep it simple with a luxury robe and spa set for that special loved one. This set has everything you need to create an at-home spa experience. From the body wash, bubble bath, bath soap, body scrub, body lotion to the plush bath robe, you can kick back, relax and ease your mind.
2020 Book'd & Black Planner
Book'd
Scheduling me time may sound extra but for most people, if you don't write it down, you can't make it plain. We are kind of obsessed with this specific planner because it's blackity-black-black. Not to mention, it also has pages devoted to Weekly Sections for: Call/Email/Follow-up, Sweat Plan, Prayer Target, Self-Care and Weekly Gratitude/Reflections Section. Planning daily practices of self-love and self-care while also maintaining a healthy work schedule can increase productivity and serenity.
Slip Pure Silk Pillow and Mask Travel Set
Slip
Whether you're on the road or in the sky, you'll need some help preventing bedhead and sleep creases. This set was made for travel but you can use the sleep mask for your daily night routine. We are sure the travel aficionado who uses trips around the globe as a self-care tool will love this gift.
Moon Essential Oil Diffuser
Urban Outfitters
Quickly transform your space, work or home, into a soothing zone of zen with a Moon Essential Oil Diffuser. It improves air quality, adding moisture to eliminate dryness while simultaneously enhancing the mood with the beautiful light to relieve fatigue and inspire creativity.
PLANT Apothecary GET HAPPY Bodywash
Don't worry, GET HAPPY or GET IT ON! Using geranium and peppermint, PLANT Apothecary created body washes to alleviate oiliness and dehydration. The luxurious lather and perfect scent wakes you up and covers you in pure happiness. It's perfect for the self-care babe that has sensitive skin as you can use this product from head to toe.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
7 Home Decor Choices That Promote Wellness
What Self-Care Looks Like To Black Girl Beautiful Founder Nikia Phoenix
How This Business Owner Is Loving Herself Through Fibroids
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images