November is a time of maintaining your strength and opening your heart. This is the month to stand in your empowerment, trust the guiding force of your heart and the intuition it brings, and get inspired by where you are headed right now. The month begins in the midst of Eclipse Season, with the final eclipse of the year occurring in Taurus on November 8th. This Total Full Moon Lunar Eclipse also happens to be the Blood Moon of the year, signifying an empowering, transformational, and somewhat intense time for the collective. Changes and transformations are inevitable this month, but what you do with what is occurring will be the biggest game changer of it all.
Scorpio Season always brings a little more intensity and revelation, however, without this time the world would know no depth. Scorpio takes us to places we need to be and uncovers the mysteries we have been pondering. On November 16th, the energy begins to move into Sagittarius as Venus enters this fire sign. With Venus in Sagittarius until December 9th, love goes on an adventure and is a little harder to grasp for the time being. Venus in Sagittarius loves its freedom and shows us the importance of having fun, living with an open mind and heart, and trusting your intuition first and foremost.
The Sun moves into Sagittarius on November 22nd, and with Sagittarius Season here, this is the time to have a little more fun with life after a heavy emotional time in Scorpio Season and to explore your world. Sagittarius Season is when travel is heavy, the vibes are inspiring, and when perspective is everything. There is a New Moon in Sagittarius the very next day after Sag Season begins, and the more you can focus on the positive opportunities and paths that are opening for you right now, the more that can come. This New Moon is a time of gathering your strength, remaining optimistic, and walking into new doors.
As November comes to a close, Jupiter in Pisces moves out of retrograde and goes direct on the same day of the New Moon, on November 23rd. Jupiter is the planet of blessings and good fortune, and in direct motion, it’s able to bring that. You can expect some positive experiences at the end of the month, and karma coming around to bless the world again. Jupiter in Pisces is all about creativity, compassion, and your belief systems, and by the end of the month, there is more freedom to explore, engage, and live free. November overall is a month to release doubts and trust the process.
Aries Horoscope for November 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about overcoming fears, Aries. With Scorpio Season underway, and the Sun currently moving through your 8th house of transformation, there is a lot to process this month. You are uncovering new truths and are also seeing what’s been holding you back in the process. The revelations that are appearing in your life are changing the path ahead for you, and it’s about letting go of what’s leaving you feeling trapped rather than as free as you should feel.
On November 22nd, the Sun moves out of Scorpio and into fellow fire sign, Sagittarius. When the Sun is in the same element as yours, you feel more aligned with what is occurring and there are fewer hiccups on your path toward success. The Sun moves into the adventure zone of your chart, and with a New Moon in this area on the 23rd, you will be leaving this month feeling inspired, hopeful, and with some new plans set in motion.
Taurus Horoscope for November 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for the month is to expect the best for yourself, Taurus. Don’t let fears or insecurities get the best of your mind this month, and remember to take the time to decompress and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There have been a lot of things happening regarding your love life this year, and this month things are coming to a head here. The more you can focus on what you want rather than what you don’t, the closer you will be to where your heart is.
The Full Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse happening this month on November 8th is occurring in your sign, and you are moving through a major release in your life. This month is all about releasing what doesn’t feel like you anymore and knowing that you are supported in this process. Stand by the decisions you are making for yourself and your growth right now and know that sometimes it’s about you looking out for yourself and putting your goals first.
Gemini Horoscope for November 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a beautiful month for you, Gemini. Some happy and fortunate outcomes are coming through for you in November, and it’s about time you are given this grace. This is a month to believe in your dreams and your ideas and to move forward with the plans you have set up for yourself this year. Have confidence in what is happening for you, take care of your responsibilities, stretch your wings and fly!
Moving further into the month, the Sun moves into your opposite sign Sagittarius, and enters your 7th house of love. The end of November and into December is one of the most important times of the year for your love life and your relationships, and you are seeing progress and commitment in this area of your life right now. The New Moon on November 23 is a good time to set your intentions for your future in love and what you want to see come about in your relationships. You are love, you are loved, Gemini.
Cancer Horoscope for November 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a time of exploring your options, Cancer. With the Sun currently in a fellow water sign, Scorpio, you are flowing through this time with curiosity and faith. This is a month of taking a look at where you’ve been, where you are now, and the path you want to create for yourself moving forward. Remember though, the past often looks better in hindsight, and there are so many gifts and treasures to appreciate right here and now that you don’t want to lose sight of.
The Lunar Eclipse this month on November 8th is highlighting your friendship zone, and you are seeing some changes regarding your community, friendships, and social circle. Clarity is coming in, and you are seeing transformations regarding your foundations here so that you feel the true support and connection you are looking for. Anything that comes up for you this month is about acceptance, growth, and letting go; and this month overall is all about finding your balance between what’s been and what is.
Leo Horoscope for November 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour heart is experiencing some new beginnings this month, Leo. November is a fresh start for you, and your relationships are seeing the blessings of this new beginning. Your heart has been opening to something new, and this is an exciting month for you. Through the journey of self, you have been on this year, you have rediscovered some important insight within that has positively changed the relationships in your life and your view on them. November is your time of seeing something new and positive take place.
With a Lunar Eclipse in your career and reputation zone on the 8th, and a New Moon in your house of romance on the 23rd, you are balancing what you are putting out there, and the love that is coming in. The revelations that are occurring this month are enhancing your life for the better, and your intuition is especially strong right now. Happiness and love are your priority in November, and there are plenty of experiences for you to enjoy this month, Leo.
Virgo Horoscope for November 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of seeing positive culminations and growth in love, Virgo. You have trusted the process, listened to your heart and opened your mind to a new experience than before. The thing about karma is that it works in your favor when you allow it to be, and this is a month of seeing the tables turn for you for the better. You are sharing the love and receiving it, and the contentment and joy you are feeling in November are worth everything you have been through this year, Virgo.
We have a Lunar Eclipse in fellow earth sign Taurus on November 8th, and this eclipse for you is a time of seeing things in a new light, following through on an adventure, and of spiritual growth. New doors are opening for you this month, and you are on a path of love. Communication is also a prominent factor in your life right now with the Sun in your 3rd house of the mind until the 22nd, and November overall for you is a time of opening your heart and enjoying how far you have come.
Libra Horoscope for November 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of awakening for you, Libra. There are some major changes and transformations that you are moving through, but they are ultimately creating a much-needed breakthrough in your life. Your guidance for the month is to know that it’s not always about what’s happening, but rather about how you are handling it. Remember to show up for yourself and to trust that you do know what you need and what you don’t. The more you can let go and flow with change, the more you can succeed right now.
The last eclipse of the year is occurring on November 8th and is moving through your house of rebirth. Something is transforming in your life on the deepest levels, and your heart is guiding you to safety. Know that what falls away from your life this month will be replaced by something better, and that it’s important to speak up for yourself and how you are feeling this month.
Scorpio Horoscope for November 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about choosing wisely, Scorpio. You begin the month amid Scorpio Season, and you are making some final decisions on where you want to be for the rest of the year and beyond. You have been moving through a lot of different experiences that have made it harder to choose for yourself and feel confident in your inner knowing. This month is all about giving yourself the power to choose and remembering that no decision is a decision, and get moving on your dreams.
With the Sun in your 1st house of self until November 22nd and a Lunar Eclipse in your 7th house of relationships on November 8th, you are finding your balance between what you need, and what others are asking from you. Notice what takes you away from your center and what keeps you there, and align with what your true values are in life. Things get really interesting once Jupiter moves out of retrograde and goes direct in your house of romance on November 23rd, and you are leaving the month entering a time of positivity and inspiration.
Sagittarius Horoscope for November 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a breakthrough month for you, Sagittarius. You are noticing the mental restrictions that have been in your life recently and are putting the worries and fears to rest once and for all. This is a month to take action on what has been inspiring you, and about being your biggest advocate and supporter. Know that once you decide on something the whole universe conspires to make it happen for you, and with this perspective, you can tap into your inner courage and confidence more.
The second half of the month is all about you and all about shining in your truth and glory. Venus, the planet of love, moves into Sagittarius on November 16th, Sagittarius Season officially begins on November 22nd, and there is a New Moon in Sag the next day on November 23rd. You are seeing previous blocks in your life being lifted, and your path ahead is feeling a lot more abundant and stable than it has been. This is your month to put yourself first, pave new paths, and be bold.
Capricorn Horoscope for November 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleAbundance is yours in November, Capricorn. Patience has been a key theme in your life this year, and this month you are seeing the fortune that comes from this place of confidence. This is the month to nurture yourself, others, and your dreams, and to open up to a blessing. You deserve to feel lavish, to treat yourself, and to enjoy your life in its entirety. There is a sense of feeling extremely grateful for where you are in life right now, and November is a magical time for you.
The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening in fellow earth sign Taurus is happening in a romantic, happy, and creative zone of your chart, and this further signifies the exciting month that is ahead of you. The love that is coming full circle for you is everything you have been hoping for, and you have your people around you to enjoy it all. By the end of the month, the Sun moves into your 12th house of endings, and you are closing out a chapter in your life and preparing for a new one.
Aquarius Horoscope for November 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of seeing growth and progress financially, Aquarius. You have been setting all the right intentions, putting the work in, and focusing on your growth and you are moving through a time of success. Even with the added responsibilities that are on your plate right now, you have everything you need to succeed and you are inspiring those around you to believe in themselves and their dreams as well. Find your balance between work and love, and trust that you can have it all.
Your career zone will be highlighted until November 22nd, when the Sun will enter your 11th house of friendship. Over the past year, you have been making headway in your working life and professional goals, and by the end of the month, you are ready to have some more fun and connect with some new people. There are positive opportunities for connection and new doors opening for you, and November 23rd is a good day to set your intentions and believe in your creative approach. November overall for you is about claiming your blessings, Aquarius.
Pisces Horoscope for November 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month where you can take a deep breath, and shine, Pisces. Past challenges and blockages in your life are falling away from your experience, and you have more freedom to move forward right now. There is a lot of activity in your life in November, but you have been looking forward to this type of movement and excitement. This is the month to remember that time is of the essence, to consider where you are heading right now, and to take action on your goals.
One of the most important transits of the month is occurring in your sign on November 23rd, and that is Jupiter moving direct in Pisces, after being in retrograde since July. With Jupiter moving forward in your sign until December 20th, you are entering the luckiest time of the year for yourself, and this time is all about showing up and showing out. If there is anything you are looking to create, manifest, or bring forward, this month is the time to do so, Pisces.
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Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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