As much as I like cold weather (and I do, unapologetically so), I have learned that it's not the best for my hair. For one thing, did you know that warm temps are far better at holding in moisture than cold ones are? Another problem is freezing weather and wind can cause the cuticles of our hair to lift which can result in hair strand damage and/or hair not being able to hold conditioning products in for very long. Also, when it's cold, that can lead to more frizzing and dryness; especially because we tend to be indoors more often with our HVAC units set to warmer temps.
All of these reasons are why it's so important to be proactive when it comes to caring for your hair during the fall and winter seasons. So, if you're looking for a few ways to do just that right about now, I've got 10 tips that will safely carry your tresses right on past Valentine's Day — and then some.
1. Do Some Pre-Pooing
Even if you use a sulfate-free shampoo (and I hope that you do because other than clarifying your hair, sulfates can be extremely drying), when you're a Black woman, it's still a good idea to pre-poo your hair on every wash day. Since it can be difficult for the natural sebum from your hair follicles and scalp to run down the entire shaft of your strands (due to your super curly texture), that's why your hair tends to be drier than other ethnicities. Then, when you bring shampoo into that mix, that can dry your locks out even more. One way to head that off is by pre-pooing — applying an oil to your hair, before shampooing. This works well because it softens your hair, makes your conditioner more effective and it significantly reduces the detangling process, so that there's far less breakage (which is a great thing because wet hair is pretty fragile).
As far as the best oils to use, I like avocado a lot because it's got a great reputation for containing properties that detangle, deeply moisturize, and even heal dandruff. Still, pretty much any oil of your choice (argan, coconut, grapeseed, olive, almond, etc.) will work. Just split your hair up into four sections, generously apply the oil, let it sit for 20-30 minutes, and wash and rinse as usual. You will immediately notice a difference.
2. Give Your Hair Herb-Infused Hot Oil Treatments
Something that I've been doing this year that I enjoy so much is making my own herb-infused oils. If you check out the article, "12 Natural Ways To Get Your Skin To Glow All The Way Up This Summer" that I wrote for this platform, #5 breaks it down for you. For now, I'll just say that this kind of oil is bomb because you can customize the herbs and oil(s) that you want in order to pamper your skin or, in this case, your hair.
Anyway, remember how I said that cold air can cause cuticles to take quite a beating? One way to avoid this is treating your hair to a hot oil treatment because it helps to seal your cuticles. Not only that but the heat of the oil will stimulate blood flow to your hair follicles which will strengthen your hair over time. Plus, hot oil treatments are great at reducing split ends and alleviating dry scalp. Applying a hot oil treatment every other wash day is cool. For tips on how to do it properly, check out YouTuber's Mia Nicole's video here, Leilani Iman's video here, and tatenda's video here.
3. Apply a Leave-In Conditioner
Even though I am big on deep conditioning (especially over the past couple of years), something that I wish I had been doing for even longer than that is applying a leave-in conditioner. Because my hair soaks up moisture with the quickness (no matter what the season may be), applying a leave-in (usually on freshly washed hair and right before I blow it out) has helped my hair to retain moisture for days on end. As far as if you should apply it every day, honestly, I think it depends on if you go with a cream or a spray (a spray is usually much lighter). Also, it's important to keep in mind that "too much of a good thing" can result in a lot of build-up and residue on your hair. Personally, on wash day and maybe once a week is more than enough in my opinion. The bottom line here is to use some, especially during the cooler seasons of the year. For tips on choosing the right leave-in for your hair and its needs, check out Naturally Curly's "Top 20 Leave-in Conditioners."
4. Use a Cream-Based Thermal Heat Protectant
Listen, I would audibly scream it in your ear if I could — ANY TIME YOU APPLY HEAT TO YOUR HAIR, YOU NEED TO USE A THERMAL HEAT PROTECTANT FIRST! It adds and seals in moisture. It reduces frizz. It provides a layer of protection from the heat. Just make sure during this time of the year that, unless you have very fine hair, you go with a cream rather than a spray base. While I can't recall her name, shout-out to the sales associate at one of my local Sally's Beauty Supply stores who told me that cream gives better and longer-lasting coverage than a spray. She's exactly right. I can totally notice a difference between the two since switching over to creams.
5. (Temporarily) Ditch Serums
As with most things in life, hair serums come with pros and cons. On one hand, they help to control frizz, reduce detangling and create an unbelievable amount of shine. On the flip side, they can create a significant amount of build-up, can weigh your styles down and, because of the chemicals in them, cold weather can actually cause serums to make your hair feel really stiff. The solution? Well, just like it's best to go with a cream-based thermal heat protectant when it's cold outside, it's a good idea to style your hair altogether with something that is more of a cream-base so that your hair feels softer and is easier to manage. That said if you absolutely must go with a serum, use one that is oil-based instead of silicone-based. You will be able to avoid the "stiffness" easier that way.
6. Shower in Warm (Not Hot) Water
I'll agree with anyone who feels like nothing feels better than a long hot shower after coming in from the freezing cold. Here's the problem, though — because your hair is pretty porous, if hot water hits it, that can result in it dehydrating your scalp and stripping your strands of the natural oils that they need in order to thrive. So, if "hot you must", avoid shampooing in the shower. And wherever you wash your hair, go with warm for the washing and cool for the final rinse. Cool water is something else that is great when it comes to sealing your cuticles right on up.
7. Protect Your Ends
A lot of the Black women I know will actually put their hair into a protective style during the summertime either because they are traveling a lot or they simply don't want to be bothered with thinking about it. But you know what? Fall and winter are ideal for braids, twists, wigs, and weaves because they are so good at protecting your hair — especially your ends — from inclement weather. Speaking of your ends, because you won't be able to retain any inches (check out "Let's Gain An Inch A Month Of Hair Growth 'Til December, Shall We?", "This Is The Way To Properly Care For Your Hair While Rockin' A Wig" and "If Your Hair Keeps Breaking Off, You're Probably Doing This.") unless they are able to remain healthy and intact, definitely make sure that you seal them on every wash day. All this means is you plan to apply some extra oil to them (after conditioning your hair), so they won't get dry and brittle as quickly. For tips on how to properly seal your ends, check out Simply Julia Lauren's YT video (here) and ulovemeg's video (here).
8. Make Vitamin E Your Hair’s Best Friend
Something that will definitely support your hair's health on all fronts is Vitamin E. The potent antioxidants in it will help to moisturize your scalp and soothe it if it's irritated or itching. It's the kind of oil that is extremely hydrating. If you're looking for an oil that will help to restore hair loss, there are studies to support its ability to do that. Vitamin E can also give your hair a lot of shine.
For all of these reasons and more, it's a good idea to make sure your diet contains foods that are high in Vitamin E (like almonds, broccoli, spinach, sunflower seeds, butternut squash, avocado, and kiwi), that you use hair products that contain Vitamin E and that you massage your scalp with some 100 percent pure Vitamin E oil, once a week, too.
9. Drink Herbal Teas
A couple of years ago, I penned "These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave" for xoNecole because, it's important to remember that, when it comes to keeping moisture in your hair, it needs to happen from the inside out, just as much as it does from the outside in. One of the things I mentioned on this list is herbal teas because 1) teas are a great way to hydrate your hair and scalp and 2) teas are very popular around this time of year. As far as the kind of herbal teas that are especially good for hair health, some of those include rosemary (it increases blood circulation to your scalp); lavender (it reduces dandruff and soothes an itchy scalp); ginger (it reduces hair fall); peppermint (it encourages hair growth) and red clover tea (it adds additional moisture).
10. Use a Humidifier at Night
I've been saying, on repeat, that since it appears that COVID isn't going anywhere, any time soon, it's really important to invest in a humidifier. You can read all about why by checking out "10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall." As it relates to your hair, specifically, sleeping with a humidifier at night is an effective way to restore the moisture that your HVAC unit may be zapping from your hair. Since I've been using one, it's kind of wild how my scalp has been itching less and my hair has been feeling less dry. It's one of the best hair (and skin) investments that I've made in a long time as I prepare for all that fall and winter have in store. If you don't have one, treat yourself. You — and your hair — won't regret it at all.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
TikTok Says To Put Diaper Rash Cream On Your Face. Is That Good Advice?
Geeze, by the time this article actually runs, there could easily be 15 more updates on what’s happening with TikTok. Hey, I’m not exaggerating either because you’d literally have to be living under 10 tons of rocks to not be aware of all of the controversy surrounding it; especially when it comes to its impending ban.
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
___
Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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