

While checking out a panel on a podcast earlier this week, a guy asked a question that I’m pretty sure others have wondered before, yet didn’t really know who to ask. Although I’m paraphrasing just a bit, he basically said, “My trainer said that the sign of a healthy man is he wakes up horny, hungry and happy. On the horny tip, do women have the male equivalent of morning wood?”
Ah, so glad that you asked, my dear, because the answer is actually “yes.” And because there is such a thing as a “hard-on for a woman,” it is my opinion that people really should engage in more morning sex — but I’ll get into all-a-dat towards the end of this piece.
If you’ve been rockin’ with me for a while, you know that I am good for sharing, what I consider to be water cooler (do offices still even have those?) content — you know, random facts that folks probably don’t know. And today, the topic is the flip side of morning wood for the fellas, which just happens to be something that is known as “morning bean” for the ladies.
Always Remember That Your Clitoris and a Man’s Penis Have a Lot in Common
Hey, get mad/triggered if you want to, yet I am always fascinated whenever I see women teasing and taunting uncircumcised men on social media. For one thing, it causes me to wonder if they do regular vaginal self-exams (check out “Why You Should Give Yourself A ‘Vaginal Self-Exam’”) and/or any vaginal mapping (check out “Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey”) — because if you do like sis says in the video below and take a mirror down to view how God made you, you might see some extra skin that you didn’t know was there yourself.
Not only that but clitorises and penises? Oh, they have a helluva lot more in common than either a lot of us know about or care to admit — including foreskin.
Am I serious? Absolutely.
For starters, science speak says that “The human penis and clitoris develop from the ambisexual genital tubercle.” And, as some fetuses develop more androgens, a penis emerges; without those androgens, a clitoris is fully formed. However, since they both start off in a similar way, a penis and a clitoris have, well, similarities.
An uncircumcised penis has foreskin while a clitoris has a clitoral hood. Both the penis and the clitoris grow larger during puberty. The penis and clitoris both contain erectile tissue in them as well — and this means that when they are sexually stimulated, they both become erect. And that, right there, is where the term “morning bean” actually stems from.
The Technical Name Is Nocturnal Clitoral Tumescence (NCT)
Okay, so when a guy wakes up in the morning with a hard-on, the technical term for that is called Nocturnal penile tumescence (NCT). It happens thanks to a combination of a man’s sleep cycles, his nerves, how his blood is circulating throughout his system, and the fact that his testosterone levels tend to be elevated when he is just waking up.
Meanwhile, the female version of this is called Nocturnal clitoral tumescence (NCT); it’s basically what transpires whenever a woman’s clitoris is doing the same thing and the slang term for this is…yep, you guessed it: morning bean (I’m pretty sure that the wood vs. bean comparison is pretty self-explanatory).
So, why have a lot of us never heard about this before?
There are probably several reasons; however, the one that tops my mind is since so much of what makes up a woman’s clitoris is inside of her body, when a clit becomes erect, it’s not nearly as noticeable as when a man’s penis does. Now, that’s not to say that if you really know your body, you aren’t able to pick up on some of the morning bean — or clitoral erection in general — signs, though.
For instance, morning beans can cause your clitoris to become extremely sensitive to the touch and, since they do fill up with blood, the part of the clitoris that you do see does tend to get larger (how much varies per person). Morning beans also tend to cause your clitoris to become darker in color (due to the extra blood) and could result in your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) becoming fuller/swollen as well. And just how long does this experience last? Well, reportedly, morning woods tend to subside after about 30 minutes. For us? As long as we are being sexually stimulated or aroused, a morning bean will stick around.
So, there you have it: just like men wake up with erections, so do women. And what is my greatest takeaway from this very fact? Well, although the best time of day to have sex has a lot to do with personal preference, if the man in your bed wakes up with a hard-on, I wouldn’t waste it if I were you. See, while society has had you thinking that he’s the only one who oftentimes has sex on his mind in the wee hours of the morning, now you know that your body has some dirty thoughts of its own that it would probably like to get off — more often than you would think.
Because it’s not like there aren’t some real bona fide benefits to engaging in morning sex…
Why You Should Absolutely Make the Most Out of Your Own Morning Beans
Although I did share all of what I said as a “something new for the day” fun fact, any time I can get y’all to get the most out of your bed, you know that I’m gonna do it. And yes, morning beans can definitely take your sex life to new heights.
I say that because:
Morning beans will (probably) make it easier for you to cum.Testosterone is a hormone that is present in both men and women (albeit much higher in men; the opposite goes for estrogen); this means that if it is elevated in men in the morning, the same goes for us. And the hornier one is, the easier it tends to usually is to orgasm. Give thanks.
Morning beans will intensify your orgasms. It can’t be said enough that the more blood that is circulating inside of your genitalia, the more likely you are to not just climax, but have more intensified orgasms too. And chile, if that ain’t a motivator for morning sex…what freakin’ is?
Morning sex will de-stress you. Say that you’ve got a presentation to make, a heavy deadline, or just a long day that’s ahead of you. Wouldn’t it be great if you could go into what lies ahead as calm and relaxed as possible? Sex can help to make that happen because it’s proven to reduce cortisol levels, so that you’re in a greater state of tranquility.
Morning sex will help you to be more energized and in a better mood. Didn’t sleep well, and so you’re exhausted? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and so you’re not in the best of moods? Sex can resolve both of these matters, thanks to the fact that copulation helps to stimulate feel-good hormones and endorphins. Hmph. Sounds better than the usual cup of coffee hack to me (check out “Your Morning Coffee May Be Causing More (Health) Issues Than You Think”).
Morning sex will make you feel more connected to your partner. I tend to mention oxytocin quite a bit in my content, so you’re probably quite familiar with the fact that it helps to bond you to your partner. Well, since oxytocin is at an all-time high during sex (and especially orgasms), if you want to feel especially close to your man (as he feels the same towards you) while the two of you are apart throughout the day — yep, you already know: get it in.
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Listen, I don’t know if you will ever run into someone who asks about clitoral erections — i.e., morning beans. If they do, though, now you have a thorough answer to offer.
And either way, now you also have a reason to let wood and a bean work together to wake you up instead of that dreaded alarm clock.
Again, sis. Give thanks.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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Meet Kiara Walker: The Bold New Voice Giving Men A Safe Space To Be Real On ‘xoMAN’
Kiara Walker was born to entertain. Her childhood experiences helped shape her destiny as a media personality, and now she’s taking her talents to xoNecole.
A Dallas, Texas native and Atlanta transplant, Walker will host the newest Will Packer Media and xoNecole production, xoMAN podcast. This fresh podcast series provides a platform for authentic and transformative conversations that bridge the gap between the introspection men crave and their real-life experiences.
xoMAN started as an Instagram Live series and is now a full-cast production, with Walker as the host. Initially, she was skeptical about joining as the new host of xoMan. Not because she doesn’t have the chops to thrive in the role, but because coming in on something that wasn’t her original idea initially seemed daunting for the media personality.
However, since she loves a challenge, the CockTales: Dirty Discussionspodcast host embraced the task with an open heart and mind.
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“I was like, this is a cool concept, so I’m so glad that they decided to turn it into a podcast,” Walker tells xoNecole. “It’s been interesting to take somebody else’s idea and try to turn it into a thing, put it together, and bring it to fruition. I am anxious, nervous, and all things, but above all, I’m excited.”
When xoNecole's managing editor Sheriden Garrett approached Walker to take on the position, it felt like fate. She had previously attempted to get Garrett on her CockTales platform about six or seven years ago due to her expertise in the love and relationship space.
“I was like, wait, y’all listen to the show? And you want me to host a show where I’m only talking to men? And I’m listening to them and not giving them a hard time? I say that because sometimes I feel like, on my show, I may come off like I don’t even like men," she says.
"I love men, but it can be frustrating sometimes on that platform, social media, and other places when they continue to regurgitate the same rhetoric about what I like to call Twitter topics, like constantly talking about who’s paying as a man, as a woman. You should do this. You should do that…It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
A Howard graduate, Walker almost didn’t enter the world of media after listening to advice from elders who said she would make a great lawyer because she loves to debate topics and sometimes argue (haha).
"It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
After traveling to the nation’s capital to study political science, Walker soon discovered that her only motivation for becoming an attorney was the potential income and witnessing how boss women like Erika Alexander’s Maxine Shaw character on Living Single would look in their suits as career women.
“I realized that this was for real,” she says, studying law at Howard. “This is a lot of work, and when you think about what you do, I was like, this is not a performance, and I just wanted to talk. I wasn’t trying to defend anyone.”
A visit to a fair showcasing the different organizations on Howard’s campus, combined with her affinity for celebrity gossip and entertainment news, ultimately led Walker to explore a radio career. Soon, she auditioned for a show and landed the gig. By the spring semester, she was on the radio, ultimately leading her to switch her major to journalism with a concentration in broadcast news.
Soon after earning her degree in the field, Walker decided she didn’t want to do anything related to hard news. Instead, she became involved in lifestyle content. She used her friends' love of hearing her stories to motivate her to get into podcasting.
The rest is, as they say, history.
“Before podcasts became what they are, I was in a living room with a microphone before ultimately moving to a studio and refining the show. I loved it and knew people were listening because I monitored the analytics and everything," she explains.
"When we decided to do a live show, the show sold out in two weeks, and I was so nervous. I was like, 'Are we ready? Are we gonna be able to sell out this venue?' We didn’t have any sponsorship. We were still independent and had to front the money for everything.”
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“When they sold out in two weeks, not only did I price my tickets too low, but I thought, wow, we’ve got something. I was like, people spent money to hear me and my co-host talking about our shitty love lives. This is wild, all from an idea in my head. It made me feel like I was on the right path and encouraged me to stop doubting myself. I have imposter syndrome," she reveals.
"Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do. I love it. No matter how many sleepless nights I have, I will continue to have bags under my eyes until the end of time because I’m enjoying it.”
"I have imposter syndrome. Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do."
In between garnering a strong social media presence for her work as a podcast host, lifestyle influencer, and beyond, Walker has managed to use her many gifts and talents, like cooking, and most importantly, giving a strong opinion about the things she does (or doesn’t) believe in to carve out a lane of her own.
As she embarks on this chapter as the host of xoMAN, where she has already spoken with actors Devale Ellis and Skyh Black and Dear Future Wifey podcast host Laterras R. Whitfield, Walker hopes that it encourages people, especially women, to look at their male counterparts from a different perspective.
“I hope that anyone listening can listen to the first few episodes, hear how different each man is, and learn to let down whatever preconceived notions you have about me or a specific man, whoever it is in your life," she says. "Just listen, talk to them, ask them how they feel, and listen with an open mind, without thinking that you already know what the answer is.”
“I just hope that people learn to, again, not put people in boxes and make the other person, whoever it is, men specifically for this show, but sit down and talk with an open mind and listen to understand, not to respond. Help someone feel safe.”
xoMAN officially launches on Tuesday, June. 17.
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