How To Maintain Your Mental Health & Sustain Healthy Friendships At The Same Time
It would be a complete lie if I told you that I was fine; even as I write this, I'm not fine. As a Black woman with pre-existing mental health issues on top of financial burdens, constant fear for my life and being afraid of being in a room with more than 10 people at a time, I can confidently say that life has been pretty stressful. One of the most stressful parts about all of this is that my relationships have suffered, and I don't necessarily mean my romantic relationship.
Throughout the past few months, my best friend and I have been going through a rough patch. Granted, all friends do at some point or another, but we were just mentally and emotionally no longer in sync. I began to retract from her, not vocalize what was going on inside of my own head and bury myself in my work. Not because I had any ill will towards her, but because I felt as though she was doing the same - not talking to me.
In my head, if I'm not your person anymore, you don't have the privilege of being mine. Selfish, but unfortunately true.
Little did I know, she was lowkey feeling the same way about me. Small misunderstandings translated into escalated arguments; we would go for days without speaking and our friendship had only functioned simultaneously for the first time in months when we put together a digital conference. All of the RSVPs and YouTube replays could not compensate for our true underlying issues in our friendship. Even with our first successful business partnership, it was a very surface-level friendship and we never spoke with one another about our personal lives.
While trying to keep my mental health afloat, I feel this innate obligation to always check on everyone around me and constantly be in go-mode. Truth be told, I needed someone to check in on me and I needed to be a better mental health accountability partner. Pulled from my own personal experience, check out my advice on maintaining your mental health and healthy friendships when everyone is going through it:
Ask Each Other How You’re Doing And Mean It:
It's easy to send a "Wyd" or "What's up?" text when starting off a conversation, but when you're asking, be genuine. If you're not ready to actually have your friend possibly unload and you're just asking how they are for a meaningless segue into the heart of the conversation, I suggest not asking. Mental health check-ins are extremely important in functional healthy relationships, especially during heightened times of racial injustice and social distancing, so make time for one another to truthfully spill the tea on how you're actually doing.
Give Each Other Grace:
Everyone is going through it right now - especially as a Black woman. My best friend works a full-time 9-5 and I'm a full-time freelancer so, needless to say, we've both got our hands full. Give yourself and your friend time to feel everything that you're feeling and know that everything you're feeling is completely valid. If they don't answer your text messages or FaceTime calls when you expect them to, that doesn't mean that they no longer f*ck with you. If it's been a couple of days, sure it's normal to be concerned, but extend the olive branch and allow them to reach out when they're ready. It's OK to want to be there for your friend, but don't be too pushy or overbearing.
Open And Honest Communication Is Key:
If you're anything like me, you don't like to talk about your problems in your friendship or face them because then the problems don't exist; they are merely a figment of your imagination. However, failing to communicate doesn't solve problems, it creates them. Don't be afraid to bring your concerns about the friendship to one another, even if it means a few awkward pauses in between monologues. This person is your friend for a reason, so you should be able to come to them about anything - especially if this is your best friend and your main confidant. It's always tough to be honest about some snags in your friendship - I mean, look at Issa and Molly. Once you tap into that open communication and honesty, the hard part of actually addressing the problem head-on is over.
This Is Your Friend, Not Your Enemy:
Admittedly, my best friend and I have both been extremely moody, but it's not because of one another. Life is happening and it's happening to the both of us individually, which translates and trickles into our friendship with each other. Just because you may feel as though everything is slowly crumbling at the tips of your fingers, that doesn't mean that your friendship has to. I don't know who needs to hear this, but your friend is your friend for a reason. They're there to help and support you through whatever you're going through and they're not the bad guy here.
You're battling your own demons and it takes a lot of inner strength. Sometimes battling internally can alter your reality, including who is against you and who's for you. One thing I can assure you of is, projection is real, but don't create problems with your friend and push them away just because you're going through something. That's not fair to them.
Put Yourself Before The Friendship:
This sounds backwards, I know, but hear me out. You can't pour from an empty cup and you can't drive a car with an empty tank. Take time to assess where you are in life, where you want to be, and what kind of friend you can afford to be to everyone without stressing yourself out. Be honest about your ability to be a friend to others if you're not truly taking care of yourself. Once all of your ducks are in a row, you can swim on down through any body of water. Until then, you can expect to drown before you get to the deep end.
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This article is in partnership with Lexus.
Luxury is often defined by someone else’s standards. But what if the finer things in life looked different through the lens of those crafting and shaping Black culture?
In Redefining Excellence, a two-episode short-form video series presented by Will Packer Media in collaboration with Lexus, we dare to broaden how we think about luxury. Here, it’s not just about the price tag. Luxury is a practice.
At its core, Redefining Excellence is a celebration of intention woven into every detail of how we live: our joy, our spaces, our craft, but also our rituals of care. These are the Black creators who not only give the best to themselves in what they build, but also pay it forward to the communities around them.
Through their vision, they embody the same precision and artistry that Lexus embraces when in pursuit of a higher standard, the Standard of Amazing.
In Episode 1, “Ingredients of Success,” the series follows chef, restaurateur, and Lexus Culinary Master Kwame Onwuachi, whose artistry is imbued with rich cultural storytelling. We see him wander purposefully through a garden, gently testing the ripeness of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Luxury isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about being intentional with your choices and craft,” he says.
The article continues after the video.
“Now, because of my work and the ingredients I use, luxury means something different. I am boldly setting a new standard of amazing and innovation.”
As he chops vegetables, plates vibrant dishes, and loads the finished product into the sleek Lexus LC Convertible, he continues, “For me, luxury means ingredients that carry memory… dining experiences and locations that honor the stories that raised me and feel like us.”
In Episode 2, “The Texture of Luxury,” the lens turns to founder and CEO of CurlyCon LA Ava Pearl, whose ingredients take a different form. As the trunk of her Lexus LX 700h lifts, she says, “When I think of luxury, it isn’t expensive, it’s expansive.” The scene shifts, and we watch Ava lay down a bouquet of fresh flowers upon entering her home before using aloe vera leaves to prepare gel by hand.
The article continues after the video.
“When I was younger, I thought luxury was something you bought. Now I know it’s about living up to a higher standard… Black women have always defined what’s next, setting the standard for beauty, luxury, and excellence.”
Like Kwame, she builds with intention, pouring care into the details, believing, like Lexus, that “luxury isn’t just a finish, it’s a standard. One that’s built to amaze.”
Through these stories, Redefining Excellence serves as a reminder that the journey is not just about the destination, but also the ingredients you choose along the way.
Watch both episodes now and learn more about how Kwame and Ava set their own standard of amazing.
Featured image by xoNecole/Will Packer Media
Cardi B Said What She Said About Offset & Moving On
Cardi B is no stranger to keeping it all the way a buck with fans about her personal life. The "Safe" rapper is someone who's going to hear the internet fodder, and instead of dodging the questions, she'll be the one front and center, standing ten toes down in the controversy, so there's never any confusion about her position. Her latest sit-down with Call Her Daddy was no different. While promoting her new album, Am I The Drama?, Cardi was yet again an open book as she shared how she felt about her marriage to Offset.
In particular, despite all the drama, she didn't regret the love they shared.
"Even in the long marriage that I was in, there’s a lot of things that I regret, and there’s a lot of things that people are gonna be like, "You see, you wasted your time,’ but I don’t feel like it was a waste of time," Cardi revealed. Also in the interview she went on to explain that their relationship had several “separation moments” before it officially ended in her eyes, largely due to Offset’s infidelities.
“I really just don’t regret anything. It is what it is. If your heart is not ready, it’s just not ready,” she said. “I felt like I was getting really sick and it’s like, ‘Alright this is dead.’"
Why Cardi B And Offset Aren’t Officially Divorced Yet
But if you're wondering why the divorce papers haven't been signed yet, Cardi says she's not the hold-up. Like she raps on the track "Magnet" from Am I The Drama?, "Got my baby daddy actin’ like my baby mama," the rapper made the reason clear during a recent Spaces conversation. It's Offset dragging the process.
"The only reason why I'm still married is because somebody wants me to pay for their taxes," Cardi admitted, adding that her estranged husband is holding her "hostage" and demanding millions and one of her properties. "I’ma fight for that. This is not no love s---. I’m not gonna stop living my life."
And live her life is exactly what the 32-year-old is doing. With the new album already doing numbers and her recent legal victory, earlier this month Cardi announced that she has even more blessings to celebrate. She's expecting her fourth child, her first with boyfriend Stefon Diggs. After some speculation from internet sleuths, Cardi confirmed the baby news in a sit-down interview with Gayle King for CBS Mornings.
Cardi’s New Chapter: A Hit Album And A Baby On The Way
"I''m having a baby with my boyfriend, Stefon Diggs," she told Gayle in the interview, sharing she was "excited" about becoming a mom for the fourth time.
Cardi has three other children. Together with Offset, they share 7-year-old Kulture Kiari, 4-year-old Wave Set, and one-year-old Blossom Belle. Despite the relationship being fairly new and some of Stefon's own questionable headlines regarding a paternity lawsuit for a child he allegedly welcomed earlier this year, Cardi is on cloud 9 with her NFL player beau. Stefon also has an 8-year-old daughter Nova from a previous relationship.
The pair were first romantically linked in late 2024 and went public with their relationship earlier this year.
"I'm happy. I feel like I'm in a good space. I feel very strong, very powerful that I'm doing all this work — but I'm doing all this work while I'm creating a baby."
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