
Jasmine Luv Met Her Soulmate By Shooting Her Shot, Now She's Married

If the year 2020 has taught me anything is that life is unpredictable. You think to yourself, "Oh I'll just try that new hobby tomorrow," or "I'll pitch my new business idea next month," or "I'll just ask that cute guy down the block his name another day." Nah, sis. This year has been the year to be a little more brave and take a risk in life and in love. But don't just listen to me, comedian and content creator Jasmine Luv is here to tell you that there is no time like the present.
Jasmine Luv is no stranger to going after what she wants. From leaving her accounting job four years ago to following her passion as a content creator, Jasmine has landed countless acting roles including a starring role in a recent BETHer two-part special directed by Vanessa Bell Calloway and Sheryl Lee Ralph called The Waiting Room. While Jasmine is following her dreams in her career, she is not letting her love life pass her by. Jasmine and her partner Corey, Tall Guy Car Reviews, recently got engaged and they couldn't be happier. Who knew a ring would be the result of a simple slide into this guy's DM? With this pandemic, a successful love story of hope after an action of bravery is exactly what we need.
xoNecole recently had a chance to chat with Jasmine on how her life has changed for the better after she #ShotHerShot. Here's what she shared:
xoNecole: What did the moment look like when you decided to shoot your shot at Corey?
Jasmine Luv: When I first saw him, it was at the gym. We were living in the same complex and when I walked into the gym I said to myself, 'Who is this young fella over here glistening with the sweats?' We locked eyes, but didn't say anything. So I continued my work out and left because in my mind, if he's not going to say anything, then I am not going to say anything. I got home and was talking to my brother about the guy I saw at the gym. My brother goes to the gym all the time, so he was bound to know who else goes to the gym a lot too.
After I described the guy to him, my brother told me that he was Tall Guy Car Reviews. So after he said that, you know us women gotta do our detective work. I Google-d him and found his page on Instagram. I'm scrolling and noticed I didn't see a woman in any of the pictures. At the time, I think I was going through a moment where it's Hot Girl Summer, I'm single and it looked like he was single. We live in the same complex, so I thought what the heck, I'm just going to shoot my shot. I did my due diligence and slid in his DMs. I have never done that before. I don't know what came over me, but it must have been God because it worked out marvelously.
"I did my due diligence and slid in his DMs. I have never done that before. I don't know what came over me, but it must have been God because it worked out marvelously."
What was that intro line you gave him that reeled him in?
Well, I sent him a message saying, "Hey neighbor, I see you live at the same complex. How are you?" He responded and then I asked him how was he liking everything so far. We kept conversing after that and he asked me if I wanted to meet up with him later on the rooftop. The rest is history.
Now, you and Corey have a successful YouTube channel, travel the world, and are engaged -- did you know that shooting your shot with him was going to be the beginning of your forever?
Never did I think in a million years things would turn out the way they did. Like I said, it was 2019, Hot Girl Summer, and I was just letting things happen. I wasn't expecting anything.
How do you navigate between both of your individual careers and the budding empire you are building together?
Everything worked seamlessly honestly. We both do the same things in our careers and that helps because we both know what to expect in each other's lives. I know individually we respect each other and when we can, we make time where certain days are "Our Days". For example, during the week, it's busy with running errands and shooting videos. At the end of the day, we do catch up and talk to each other about our day and give us that time together. But on Sundays, we do zero work. We are able to just lay in bed all day, watch movies, and eat fat food. That's how we do our self-care.
"On Sundays, we do zero work. We are able to just lay in bed all day, watch movies, and eat fat food. That's how we do our self-care."
Do you think you applied the “shoot your shot” mentality with your dream career?
I know I am a person that comes off as very straightforward. Shooting my shot with my career, that doesn't come as a shock. When it comes to business, I am very hands-on and direct. However, in my love life, I have never done that before, so that definitely comes as a shock.
What are three rules of thumb you think we all should apply in order to shoot our shots and live the lives we wish to lead?
Well, the first rule I would say is, don't be afraid to do it. I think as women we think, 'Oh, he didn't approach me, so I'm not going to approach him.' Because shoot, I was like that. But while I think it's true that men should pursue women, there is also nothing wrong with you making the first move. It's OK. There is nothing wrong with trying it out. We are in a new era and if you see a man and you think he's fine, you better go over there and tell that man you think he's fine!
The second rule would be to have fun with it. Try not to take the situation so seriously. We can psyche ourselves sometimes, but girl, it's cool to just have fun and be in the moment. The third rule correlates with number 1, but JUST DO IT (laughs). I know it's easier said than done, trust me I know. But as far as shooting your shot with a guy, I think a good ice-breaker is starting up a conversation about something you both have in common. With Corey and I, we have social media in common. So we were able to connect through that.
Why do you think women are hesitant to make the first move when it comes to what we want out of life?
I acknowledge that shooting your shot is not for everyone. I know I used to be one of those girls that would think, 'Hmmm I'm good on that.' I know a lot of people have told me that they have a fear of rejection and I believe everyone does. But I still think you don't know unless you try. So, I think it's OK to feel out of your element. No one was expecting the pandemic and how it has taken control of people's lives. But sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do with our own lives. Take back control. In 2020, it's a chance to try something new. With everything that is going on, maybe how you've done things isn't working anymore and you need to shift and do something different. Something that's outside of your comfort zone.
"No one was expecting the pandemic and how it has taken control of people's lives. But sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do with our own lives. Take back control. In 2020, it's a chance to try something new."
What is one thing you would tell your younger self that you wish someone told you about taking ownership of writing your own story?
Jasmine Luv: Well, growing up, I was always the shy girl. I'm honestly still shy to this day. But with moving out to LA, I was able to get out of my comfort zone a little bit and it made me more confident. So I would tell my younger self, "Don't be shy." If there is anything you want to do, you should pursue it.
Whether it's in your love life or your career, make sure you get out there, do it, and give it your all.
Keep up with their love story by following Jasmine's IG page here and check out the couple's YouTube channel to see more of their travels, wedding planning and more.
Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Luv
'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
There Really Is Such A Thing As 'Spring Cleaning Your Spirituality,' Sis
When you think about the fact that the spring season symbolizes things like newness, rebirth, and starting over, from a spiritual standpoint, it makes all of the sense in the world that religious-based fasts, including Lent and Ramadan, would transpire during this season as well. As I recently reflected on this fact, it’s what actually got me to really thinking about the term “spring cleaning” and what it represents — the thorough cleaning or cleansing of a particular area.
You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
Unsplash
Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
Unsplash
Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
Unsplash
I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
Unsplash
Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
Unsplash
Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Guido Mieth/Getty Images