Tonya Lewis Lee's Hulu Documentary 'Aftershock' Investigates How To Reduce Black Maternal Mortality

Black women take center stage in April, celebrating International Black Women's History Month. In addition, April 11-17 sheds light on Black Maternal Health Week to raise awareness of the disparity of mortality rates among Black women compared to their non-Hispanic white counterparts. The discussions surrounding Black maternal mortality are becoming more mainstream with Baby Dove joining Sista Midwife Productions, "a birth advocacy, training, and consulting agency," to comprise a comprehensive list of the Black Doula Directory.
Tonya Lewis Lee has become a staunch advocate of ensuring that the American public is cognizant of alarming statistics that show "Black women are three times more likely to die from a pregnancy-related cause than White women" even though 80% of "pregnancy-related deaths in the U.S. are preventable," according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Bias, racial and gender inequities are prevalent in the American healthcare system, including other disparities such as "quality healthcare, underlying chronic conditions, and structural racism," all impair marginalized patients from having the same opportunities to receive care to uphold their "economic, physical, and emotional health," the CDC reports.
According to the organization's report, approximately 700 women die in the U.S. from pregnancy or various other pregnancy-related complications. Recently, in Detroit, Michigan, Alona White, a 25-year-old mother, died after giving birth to her second daughter; White succumbed to an emergency craniotomy that caused her brain to bleed. As a patient at Ascension St. John Moross, White underwent a C-section, a medical procedure that Lee’s documentary Aftershock also explores and shows the financial benefits hospitals and doctors reap from this particular surgery, even though it may not be conducive to the birthing process.
Lee, who co-directed and co-produced with Paula Eiselt, discusses through her documentary Aftershock about Black maternal health and places several human faces to those victimized by this growing health crisis. The Hulu doc, which is a part of the streaming service's Onyx Collective, initially premiered at the 2022 Sundance Film Festival in the U.S. Doc Competition and was awarded the Special Jury Award: Impact for Change. Aftershock follows Omari Maynard and Bruce McIntyre, who both lost their partners, Shamony Makeba Gibson and Amber Rose Isaac, during childbirth, and how the two men, along with other family members, are in the streets providing advocacy and activism to eradicate this epidemic.
Using her background as a former human rights attorney, a spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, and an author of the children's book Please, Baby, Please—which she co-wrote with her Academy awarding-winning husband, Spike Lee, she uses her platform to heighten the conversation of Black maternal health.

L-R Omari Maynard and Bruce McIntyre
Photo courtesy of Onyx Collective
xoNecole: Based on your research, what are the factors causing Black women's death in most hospitals? The documentary did expound on it, but if you can say it in your own words.
Tonya Lewis Lee: First, I want to say that most of these deaths happening with Black women from childbirth complications are preventable. When we were making the film, 65% of these deaths were preventable. Since then, a new statistic has come out that says 85% of these deaths are preventable. When you asked me what we discovered in our research about why this is happening? First and foremost, what keeps coming through is very clear that Black women are being dismissed and ignored when they express pain or discomfort or something is not right. A lot of these deaths are postpartum.
It's frustrating because it's not like women aren't seeking help, as you see in Aftershock. The two families that we cover, the two women who passed away, each of them were seeking help from their healthcare providers. Unfortunately, their calls for help were dismissed, minimized, and ultimately led to their death. I will say that what tends to happen is there is either too little intervention too late, or there tends to be too much intervention done too soon, which, unfortunately, often causes these deaths.
xoN: Is this something that residents are taught in medical school because, like the doc pointed out, the founder of gynecology J. Marion Sims, believed Black women don't feel pain? Is this ideology still continually introduced in medical schools?
TLL: My understanding, and I've heard, anecdotally, that it is still taught in med schools today that Black people do not suffer or have the same kind of pain that white patients do, which is insane to me that we're still having these conversations. I empathize with doctors because I think they are trained in such a way--it's a patriarchal, technocratic system. They go through rigorous training, which is great, but they're also kind of dehumanized doctors, when they're going through a process so that by the time they get to their patients, they often inadvertently treat their patients in the way they have to rush, let's get through to the problem. What's the problem? Let's solve it.
I'll go back to the question you asked before about what's causing these deaths also, is that [birthing] is not woman-centered, and what I mean by that is, when a woman is giving birth, as opposed to listening to her desires and how she wants to give birth and who she needs in the room, what is she doing and how is it working for her? Unfortunately, a lot of times, it's more on the doctor's schedule, what works for the doctor, and what's efficient for the doctor. Why do we lay on our backs and put our legs up? Well, because it's easier for the doctor to get in there than allowing a woman to move around during her labor to help the baby work its way down. So the baby gets in position, and she's able to do what she wants to do. I think that a lot of education works against the natural birthing process.
xoN: Regarding the medical schools, is there any way we can change how they're instructed? How can we upgrade their curriculum on how they handle Black maternity?
TLL: I agree with you, and I will say, at least some of the good news; I see that with Aftershock, we've been invited by medical schools to bring the film. We were at Harvard and Columbia [to show the film] to their residents and converse with me, my co-director, and the film's protagonist. To your point, they need to be educated; differently, they're beginning to understand that and are looking at it [but] it's going to take a little bit of time to turn the ship. But at least there's a conversation that is starting to happen, but I completely agree with you that med schools need to start thinking about how they teach maternal care.
And again, even the midwifery programs, too, because I am a big advocate for midwives. Yet, they're not enough midwives in general in the United States, and they're certainly not enough Black midwives. So, to that point, we also need to work on the pipeline of doctors, obstetricians, and gynecologists, because there's a shortage of doctors. There's a shortage of nurses, and certainly Black nurses and doctors. We want to think about who's going to med school and how we cultivate them so that we have a workforce that can care for all of us.

Photo courtesy of Onyx Collective
xoN: To add to that point, maybe there should be a movement to have Black owned hospitals. Many Jewish communities have their own doctors and ambulances. Is that also something we need to start putting on our agenda to start creating Black-owned hospitals in these cities with a high Black population?
TLL: I think we can [have] Black hospitals; we're talking about education in general. Our issue as a community is whether we need more resources or we need to focus the resources in that way. It's worth thinking about. Looking to our HBCUs, our Black students, bringing them through to get us to a place where we could create that kind of thing. I don't think it's a bad thing. A study showed that when Black doctors treat Black infants, they have better outcomes. So I think a movement towards ensuring that we have more Black doctors, more Black nurses, a robust Black health care system to begin with, or at least doctors. Having an awesome Black hospital that's important for us would be amazing because we do not have the resources to do that.
xoN: How can we change policy as it relates to the health of Black women when they're giving birth? What can we do?
TLL: Well, the good news is policies are moving through Congress right now, the Momnibus bills, its pieces of legislation, a group of bills. One in particular that is great that I believe recently passed is making sure that women have Medicaid coverage through their first year of birthing; I think it's important that we deal with women a year postpartum because, again, as I said earlier, most of these deaths do happen postpartum. Many women who don't have coverage get lost, and they don't see doctors thereafter or are not seen. We need to ensure policies that make sure that women have the support they need. For example, doulas get covered by insurance companies and Medicaid as well.
I think midwives are really important to this process; the United States is the only industrialized nation that does not have midwifery care at the center of women's health care. So we need to ensure that when women go to midwives, they can get reimbursed. So those are some policies that can have an impact. I will say voting matters because our politicians, locally at the federal level, but particularly locally, and our state and local governments are the ones that drive the policies and our communities around birthing. I think, as individuals, we need to be out there voting, ensuring women can get the support they need.
Also, to the voting piece because many hospitals in the Black communities have been divested from [offering] the services, if they do have maternal health care at all. They don't have a lot of services. So we want to make sure that our hospitals and our communities are well-resourced so that they can provide the care they need for people, especially when they're in distress.

Photo courtesy of Onyx Collective
xoN: What was your experience when you gave birth to your children?
TLL: I appreciate that question. It's interesting. When I gave birth to my children, my daughter is now 27; my son is 25. I didn't know about midwives. So I had a wonderful doctor who was a friend of the family. But even then, I look back with a little frustration because my water broke, I went to the hospital, my family was there, and it was like, 'We can just move this thing along, let's get you on Pitocin get you going,' and I did that and stayed in the hospital overnight. Then the contractions were coming hard, as they do, especially when you're on Pitocin.
They suggested that I have an epidural, which I had. Then, my lips started to numb because they told me I was only supposed to be numb from the waist down. But I was beginning to feel numb over my entire body. I told my anesthesiologist to turn it down, my lips were numb, and she kept saying, 'Well, no, if I turn it down, I have to turn it off, and you're gonna feel pain.' I was like, I need to feel something because I'm now not feeling anything. I had to get nasty with her and didn't want to do it. Because you're laying there, you're vulnerable; I couldn't move. My mother and sister were there, and then they started noticing my oxygen levels were getting weird. I was like, 'You need to turn it off, and I had to get nasty for [the nurse to] finally turn down the anesthesia so that I can at least feel something. Thank God everything was fine, and my daughter was fine. Similarly with my son, a different doctor this time, by the way, both Black women, lovely people, but in a system, right?
With my son, the same thing happened; similarly, my water began to leak, and I was saved in a way by the nurse because at one point I was pushing, and the doctor was like, 'Okay, his umbilical cord is around his neck, his shoulders are stuck,' and she just stopped. The nurse said, 'This may hurt a little bit,' She put her hands on my stomach and pushed my son out. Again, I was fine, thank God, and the children are fine, but in retrospect, I wish I had allowed my body time to do what it wanted to do, and I think I would have been fine. I don't think I needed Pitocin. I don't think I needed the epidural if I had done it that way. But that's the way I did it back then.
But I joke with my daughter that by the time she's ready, I'm ready, and we're going to get it right this time because I don't think that surviving birth is what it should be. I think we should thrive in our births and be able to have beautiful birthing experiences that are not with trauma. And I'm not saying they don't have pain, but I believe that the pain that one goes through is what we're supposed to go through. I don't think women should suffer. But as Helena Grant, the midwife in our film, says that when a woman is birthing a baby, she's not just birthing a baby, she's birthing a mother, and it's a rite of passage that we have to go through to get on that other side. So we are prepared to take care of this young life we've just brought here.
xoN: How can women protect themselves when pregnant or about to give birth in this environment?
TLL: First of all, shop around for your healthcare provider. If you go to a health care provider and you don't connect with them, then keep looking for that health care provider that is right for you. First and foremost, ask as many questions as you can ask. Remember that you're in the power seat, you should be empowered; you're about to go through something amazing. Make sure you get the support you need. No [woman] can be doing everything in the moment of labor and birthing.
So make sure you have the right energy and people around you who can advocate for you and support you the way you need during your birthing process. I was with these people through the process of this documentary. I was able to be up close and personal with people grieving from a loss but activated by the loss. I was able to be up close and personal with people going through the birthing process themselves, trying to figure it out for themselves as well. So it's been quite a journey.
Aftershock is now streaming on Hulu.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Keith Williams
Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
More Than Gratitude: 7 Signs You're Struggling With Contentment In Your Life
If Thanksgiving happens to be your favorite holiday — or you just happen to be a longstanding participant of it — then there is one tradition that you are probably familiar with. Usually, before everyone eats, each individual expresses at least one thing that they are grateful for. I actually think that is one of the best things about the holiday because it reminds people to slow down and really reflect on how to be in the moment and think about the blessings that they have. And that, my friend, is what gets folks into the mindset of knowing how to be…content — even if it’s just for a brief moment.
Contentment. By definition, it’s the state of not only being “satisfied with what one is or has” but also “not wanting more or anything else.” And you know what? Although it might not be a popular aspiration of many, it is a sign of spiritual maturity on certain levels. After all, it is the Apostle Paul who once said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:19 — NKJV).
Being content is about not complaining. Being content is about learning to be comfortable in your present circumstances. Being content is about choosing to find joy and fulfillment, on some level, and in some way, on a daily basis.
Personally, I dig all of this so much because when you have mastered true inner contentment, it creates stability, self-awareness, and a type of resilience that makes you…shoot, powerful beyond measure, if you ask me. Because when someone knows how to “find the good” and “make peace,” regardless of what is going on around them, they truly are unstoppable. Yeah, on so many levels, contentment is the ultimate life hack. It’s something that each and every one of us should aspire to become: completely and genuinely content.
Thanksgiving is basically moments away at this point. In preparation for that time of self-reflection, pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some soft music, sit on your coach, and then ask yourself, “Am I content?” If you’re not sure (or you need the definition unpacked for you just a bit more), here are seven signs that you may not be…and yet, there is no time like the present to do something about it.
1. You’re Super Impatient
GiphyHonestly, putting another Scripture right here could be all that is needed in order to bring this point to a swift and abrupt end. Which one? I Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, starts off with “Love is patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). Yeah, if you want to know if you love yourself and love yourself well, how patient are you…including with yourself? Throughout the years, I have shared one of my favorite definitions of "patient" in several different articles: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” For me, it’s a blaring reminder that mastering patience isn’t just about waiting (more on that in a sec); it’s about waiting with grace.
Content people can do this because, on some level, they know how to apply the John Piper quote, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Another way of looking at this is people who can wait well — without complaining or getting annoyed by delays or challenges in the meantime — get that in order for things to truly come together, there are lots of moving parts…some that they don’t even know about. And so, if they want the best outcome, yes, waiting well is oftentimes not just involved; it is required.
Impatient people don’t get any of this. That’s why they are so stressed out all of the time.
2. You’re Worried About Things You Can’t Control
GiphyThis. Past. Election. Chile. And then the cabinet that that man is putting together as we speak? I don’t even want to get my blood pressure up, expounding on it. Let me just pivot by adding one more Scripture — because it is beyond fitting: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Although worrying is something that pretty much everyone does at one point or another, one of my favorite quotes on it is by an American humorist by the name of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” And really, when you stop to really think about worrying, isn’t that the truth? For one thing, all worrying does, by definition, is cause you to torment yourself by focusing on things that aren’t even going to happen (somewhere between 85-90 percent of the time, in fact; there is actually a science on that) or trying to control things that are beyond your control.
If being a worry wart is your internal struggle, my advice would be to look at life this way: If you’re worried that you’re about to get written up for getting to work late again, leave your house earlier — you can control that. On the other hand, if you’re worried that you’re going to get laid off before the holiday season ends, so long as you’ve been doing your best (which is also something that you can control), please put your energy elsewhere because that is something that you can’t control.
And I promise that when you choose to be calm and confident over worrying yourself to death, that can help you to manage what you can’t control so much easier. Oh, and your health will thank you, too, because worry is attached to things like insomnia, muscle tension, headaches, overeating, and drinking too much. All this over things that probably won’t happen in the first place? Yeah, sis…(choose to) relax.
And by choosing to chill out, there is some contentment that follows because you will see the good as much as, if not more than, the potential bad. Trust me.
3. The Past and/or Future Consume You
GiphyOn the heels of the Scripture that I just provided for the previous point, it also applies to this one. You know, back when I was doing some intentional research on forgiveness, I always appreciated the insight of author Gary Zukav: “Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot change.” While this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hold people accountable for what they have done, it does help you to be compassionate with those who are truly sorry (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amend Isn't Made”) because, no matter what has transpired between you and them, one thing they can’t do is go back into a time machine and change it.
And you know what? When it comes to the mistakes — or, let’s be real, sometimes they are conscious poor decisions — you have made, you can’t either. So, why let their misdeeds or your own consume you to the point of internally destroying you?
Then there’s the future. What if you get robbed? What if your mom gets cancer? What if your husband files for divorce? Girl, if you are caught up in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, you are definitely gonna drive yourself up the wall! And this is why so many mental health experts and platforms are all about encouraging individuals to live in the moment. You can do this by meditating, taking breaks from social media (and the news), journaling, doing things that you enjoy (instead of waiting to put them off), and resting.
Listen, one of the best things about choosing to only focus on the here and now is you can find little things about it to be content with — and that helps you to be/become more content overall.
4. You Always Think About Wanting More
GiphyAlthough it certainly wasn’t my plan for this piece to be so Scripture-heavy, I’ve got to flow with what immediately comes to mind and, for this point, the verse, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) is it. And just what does it mean to be greedy? A greedy individual isn’t just low-key obsessed with getting and having more — please catch it — they are also quite EAGER.
Eager folks also tend to be impatient. Eager folks are perceived by others as being very intense (and not in a good way). More times than not, eager folks haven’t really mastered how to take a moment to appreciate what they do have because all they care about is what’s next. And when you’re in a state of that kind of, well, anxiety…how could it not affect your quality of life? I mean, really.
And what if you read all of that and said, “I’m not greedy; I’m just ambitious” — listen, there is nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to obtain them. However, an ambitious individual knows how to find balance. If they get a promotion, they will schedule a vacation to celebrate it. If they just got a new car, they are not in a rush to get a new house until they can financially afford it. If they were just proposed to with a really nice ring, they aren’t hounding their new fiancé about setting a date within the next two weeks.
People who always want more, without taking the time to enjoy what they already have, are never going to be content. Why? Because there is always something else that you can want…even if you don’t need it or it really isn’t the time for it. Meanwhile, content people get that it’s a good thing to not go after everything all of the time; that it’s far wiser to embrace what is already before them — because some folks don’t even have…that.
5. You Compare Yourself to Others
GiphySomething that I actually get asked fairly often is, do I feel “some type of way” that I do so much work in the realm of marriage when I’ve never been married myself. The short answer is “absolutely not” because I know that I could’ve been married, a few times over, at this point; however, I am just as intentional about not wanting to be divorced as I am about being in a healthy marriage, not just “a marriage.”
I’m grateful to be in that head and heart space too; otherwise, I would be out here comparing myself to other people — and there is nothing good, healthy, wise, profitable, or beneficial about doing that. In fact, science isn’t a fan of playing the “keeping up with the Joneses” game, either.
According to science, that can ultimately do things like lower your self-esteem, cause you to only see the bad/negative things in your world (in comparison to other people), and it can jack up your perception of what’s really going on with other people. For instance, if you’re 33 and comparing yourself to your friends who are already married and parents, you might want to talk to them about what their day-to-day, beyond their IG posts, is like.
Because while prayerfully, their life is filled with many blessings, if they are being totally honest with you, they will also share that you’ve got some “pros” to your life too (honey, there are some real benefits to being single; check out “If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions.,” “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'”). Content people get that every season does — because it’s true.
6. You Don’t Verbalize Gratitude Often
GiphyThere is someone in my world who I actually try to avoid as much as possible. It’s not that she’s not smart, and honestly, she’s one of the funniest individuals that I’ve ever known (and I’ve known her for most of my adult life). It’s just that…she is always wanting something, and I find that to make her a very draining individual. Lawd, even as I am typing all of this out, I’m trying to recall a time when I’ve heard her say, “thank you” for something (no joke), let alone express any form of genuine gratitude. She’s just got such a sense of entitlement that whatever she does receive, she thinks she’s owed and what she doesn’t have, she believes that something is wrong if it hasn’t arrived yet. Geeze, what a horrible type of existence.
You don’t have to take my word for it either because there is plenty of data out here to support that people who don’t take the time to be grateful for what they have ended up being unhappy, more stressed out, in more physical pain (yes, literally) and definitely more negative than everyone else — which would explain why people don’t like hanging out with them as much.
So, since this is the time when gratitude is the theme of the season, think about what you are grateful for when it comes to what you’ve accomplished this year, then write it down and post it up somewhere. Then, as far as the individuals, for whom you are grateful for — send them a handwritten note, get them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop, or even just call to tell them.
One of the most beautiful things about being in a state of contentment is it reminds you of a lot of what you already have. It really is enough…for now…in this very moment.
7. Being (and Living) Satisfied Is a Foreign Concept to You
Giphy“Tubi movies” really is a complete sentence. LOL. And yes, sometimes, when I’m taking a writing break, I will check out some of the most…I-wouldn’t-normally ones, just to lend my support. In walks Never Satisfied with its own self-explanatory meaning. Y’all, it really is oh so true that there are folks out here dealing with some unpredictable and sometimes even truly dire consequences — and it’s all because they didn’t know how to sit down somewhere and learn how to be satisfied with the people, places, things, and ideas that they already have.
That said, I am indeed a quotes gal, and one of my favorites on the topic of satisfaction is by actor Christopher Reeve: “Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take,” and although I don’t do what I’m about to do often (because I try to take Matthew 6:1-4 very literally and seriously), I’m going to illustrate what he said about satisfaction by sharing a recent situation.
This past week, a nurse practitioner (I prefer those to doctors) diagnosed me with wrist tendonitis for the first time in my life. If you knew how many keystrokes that I do a day, you’d probably be shocked that it took this long. Anyway, as I was waiting in line to get a prescription, a young Black man was basically freaking out because his insurance was refusing to cover his own meds. According to what he was telling the pharmacist, he always only pays $5; however, this time, they were charging $62, he simply didn’t have it, and the insurance company was not picking up.
As I watched him shaking and sweating while saying that he really needed it today and fretting while talking to his mom on the phone, I offered to cover it — and after going back and forth with him for about three minutes, I did. In my mind, although I didn’t plan on spending about $85 (total) that day, the little inconvenience that it was costing me was nothing in comparison to how much it was going to benefit him — I could tell from how he and his mother reacted (even the pharmacist mouthed “thank you so much”), and that is what made it money well spent.
To help someone who had no way of helping themselves in the moment? That brought me a lot of satisfaction because it’s nice to lighten someone’s load while leaving it to karma to handle it. ALL OF IT.
And that’s why I thought it was best to wrap all of this up with a reminder that being satisfied is being content. And when you can be so satisfied with your life that you want to help others? That is a level of contentment that is truly unmatched because you start looking for ways to bless others simply so that they can feel just as content as you do.
____
Our culture? It really is never satisfied, which explains why a lot of people are so miserable. SMDH. You don’t have to be like the masses, though. This Thanksgiving, please purpose in your mind (and heart) to be(come) more content. It will make you a rare gem that benefits everyone and everything around you.
Including yourself, sis. No doubt about it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 28, 2024









