Oral sex. While it's kind of the activity that everyone (or at least, almost everyone) does and yet doesn't openly talk about it all of the time, I feel like it's important that I provide as much information as possible on the topic. After all, knowledge is power, and the more you know about sex—all kinds of sex—the better. Well, when it comes to fellatio specifically, a couple of years back, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm". It touched on sperm from the angle of all of the ways that it can benefit your system—and chile, there are many.
Yet it's hard to take advantage of all that sperm (and semen; the fluid that holds sperm) has to offer if you can't stand that taste of it. You know it. I know it. Well, a way to take better control of how it resonates with your taste buds is to make sure your partner applies certain foods to his diet while avoiding certain others. If you'd like a quick cheat sheet of how to improve the taste of sperm, I've included five foods he should eat and five that he should eat less of. If he wants to get some, that is. (By the way, I'm gonna say sperm all throughout this; just know that semen is included in my thoughts.)
For sperm to taste better, he should eat: Celery
Celery doesn't taste like much of anything. That's why it trips me out that it has so many health benefits to it. Celery is good for you because it's a good source of vitamins A, C, and K, along with folate, potassium, magnesium, iron, and antioxidants. Consuming it can help to reduce bodily inflammation, and improve digestion and it can even help to lower your cholesterol levels. Plus, celery contains properties that can help to prevent cancer.
The reason why it tops the list of things that your man should eat is because, for one thing, the Vitamin C and phytonutrients in it will actually help to increase his sperm count and motility. Not only that but the Vitamin C in celery can also help to take some of the salty taste out of sperm. As a bonus, celery is also known to be an aphrodisiac food, thanks to the pheromones that it produces. Yep, celery can actually make you enjoy the scent of sperm more. Imagine that.
For sperm to taste better, he shouldn't eat: Dairy
Dairy is a bit of a controversial topic, although there is more and more data coming out that it's really not the best for us overall. As far as the belief that dairy strengthens our bones, it's actually more effective to up your Vitamin D dosage instead. Because dairy increases an insulin growth factor in our body called IGF-1, it actually has the ability to increase the cancer risk in our system. While studies have revealed the dairy doesn't actually produce more mucus, what it does do is make it thicker and more irritating. Dairy consumption also increases the risk of breakouts, prostate cancer in your man and ovarian cancer in you.
There are a couple of reasons why dairy is a no-no as far as sperm goes. First, it has the ability to decrease motility in men and even cause sperm to end up having an abnormal shape. Also, dairy has a tendency to alter to taste of semen (and not in a good way), not to mention that it can make your man gassy and…who wants to deal with that during sex. Uh-uh.
To improve the taste of sperm, he should eat: Mint
I don't know a ton of people who just chew on sprigs of mint. Still, fresh mint is something that you can put into your drinking water, smoothie or in some of the dishes that you prepare—and, of course, there is always herbal mint tea. It's well worth the effort because mint contains a fair amount of fiber, Vitamin A and iron. It can help to relieve indigestion ,irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and even improve brain function. Did you know that mint can even relieve cold-related symptoms (due to the menthol that's in it) and decrease breastfeeding discomfort? And, of course, it's one of the most effective ways to get rid of bad breath.
While there are some studies that spearmint and peppermint can slight decrease testosterone levels in women, when men consume it a couple of times a week, it does have a way of making sperm less acidic which can give it a bit of a sweeter, umm, aftertaste. So yeah, pick some up, the next time you're in the produce section.
To improve the taste of sperm, he shouldn't eat: Sulfur-Based Foods
Sulfur is an interesting mineral in the sense that our bodies aren't able to produce it; we have to consume it in order to get it into our system. Foods that are high in sulfur include garlic, onions, eggs, broccoli, cabbage, radishes, parmesan cheese and scallops—just to name a few. All of these foods are beneficial because sulfur can help to reduce the risk of heart disease, can lessen joint and muscle pain, can definitely clear up acne (I am a big-time sulfur soap fan) and it can also help to keep you from developing things like Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease up the road.
I'm pretty sure it takes no guessing why sulfur-based foods are the wackest when it comes to fellatio, though. Sulfur stinks—point blank and period. And it tends to pass along a bit of its odor while also intensifying sperm's somewhat naturally bitter taste. Yeah, hard pass.
For sperm to taste better, he should eat: Fresh Fruit
Fresh fruit tastes so good. If you've ever wondered which ones are the healthiest, some that top the list are grapefruit, avocado, pineapple, berries (basically all berries), watermelon, olives, oranges, bananas, papayas and cherries. All are high in antioxidants. All are loaded with fiber. All contain vitamins A, C, folate and phytochemicals (plant compounds). All are filled with water and low in calories.
Your man eating fruit is a good idea because the micronutrients in it will improve his sperm concentration. Plus, fruit can help to take the "bite" off of sperm (you know, the copper/sour taste that it sometimes has). Also, fruit has a way of making sperm taste better too; a little sweeter, even.
For sperm to taste better, he shouldn't eat: Red Meat
Red meat could really get its own article because there are so many pros and cons to it. For the sake of time and space, a pro is that it's really high in iron. Meanwhile, a con is it typically contains a lot of saturated fat which can lead to high cholesterol levels and heart disease overall.
The reason why your man may need to push the plate back more often on the sperm tip is because red meat can make sperm taste really salty (poultry makes it less this way). So, unless you totally dig that idea, a black bean burger might be what he should have leading up to, well, you know.
He should eat: Spices
Ginger. Cinnamon. Nutmeg. Cocoa. Rosemary. These are just a handful of spices that are really good for your health because they are rich in antioxidants, are able to reduce bodily inflammation, can help to lower blood sugar levels and so much more.
And why should you encourage your man to sprinkle some of these on his food? They are just one more thing that can help to pull some of the acid out of sperm so that it tastes a little sweeter. Not sweet like cake but definitely less tart and easier to…take in.
He shouldn't eat: Caffeine
I've said before that caffeine comes with its ups and downs as far as health benefits go. Today, let's just stick to the upswing. If you consume it in moderation (because it is a stimulant that is a drug that could lead to an addiction, if you're not careful), caffeine has the ability to (temporarily) increase your energy levels, burn fat, lower your risk of getting type 2 diabetes, protect your liver and can also put you into a better mood.
The reason why you should discourage your man from having more than a cup of java or scoop of coffee ice cream on a daily basis is because it can cause his sperm to taste pretty bitter. Kinda like licking a penny. And unless that's your thing, it's not.
He should drink: Wheatgrass
I'm not really sure if a lot of folks are thrilled with the idea of taking in shots of wheatgrass. Still, it does top the list of superfoods and when you see the benefits that it provides, it's easy to see why. Wheatgrass is a type of grass that is loaded with chlorophyll, antioxidants, and all kinds of nutrients. It's great for your health because it works to boost your metabolism; purify your blood; detox your system of metals; cleanse your liver; treat body odor; naturally heal symptoms related to eczema and psoriasis and boost your immunity—and so much more.
And how does it help out in the sperm department? Thanks to the high amount of chlorophyll that's in it, it can help to keep the pH level of sperm in check (which should be somewhere between 7.2 and 8.0) which makes it less acidic and more pleasurable to your taste buds.
He shouldn't drink: Alcohol
Last one. If you check out my article, "Liquors That Are Gluten-Free (& Beneficial In Other Ways)", you'll find that there are some health benefits to alcohol—and not just red wine. Shoot, the antioxidants that are in a lot of alcoholic drinks are enough of a reason to pour yourself a glass of somethin' a couple of times a week.
Just make sure that your man isn't tippin' a few bottles back before it's time to put some work in. For some reason, it has a way of causing sperm to taste sour. So, unless you enjoy sucking on lemons (no pun intended, of course), alcohol should be consumed right before "the act", not hours prior. Enjoy!
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (firstname.lastname@example.org) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
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