Before You Make A DIY Sex Tape, Read This.
I've got a question. Have you ever done a sex tape before? C'mon. If you haven't, don't act like you've never considered it before. I mean, it's not like all of us don't have at least a little bit of voyeurism (the desire to watch someone undress or have sex) and/or exhibitionism (the desire to be watched doing the same) in us. It's just that, most of us know to be out here peeking through random windows or stripping out in public is against the law. That's where learning how to make a sex tape comes in. The cool thing about it is it's a wonderful compromise.
So, just how do you pull it off? First, make sure that you make the tape with someone you totally trust, both in and out of the bedroom; that's what's most important. Once you've got the leading man for the starring role, all you've got to do is check the following 10 things off of your DIY sex tape list and you should, literally, be totally good to go.
How To Make A Great Sex Tape
1. Use Your Smartphone. And an Action Camera.
What's a sex tape without equipment, right? If all you're planning to do is record a couple of minutes and immediately delete the footage, your smartphone is really all that you need. But, if you want to go all out and record a semi-masterpiece that you can keep for a while, it's best to have your phone and something along the lines of a camcorder or action camera too. Your phone can catch the close-up shots while a camcorder or action camera (with the help of a tripod) can pan away and get the full view of what you and yours are doing.
As far as which is better (a camcorder vs. an action camera), the choice is totally based on personal preference. While a camcorder can give you high quality, even while holding it with one hand, an action camera is typically cheaper and comes with a ton of mountable options. (A list of the best camcorders is here while a list of some of the best action cameras is here.) Oh, and if you're really serious, you'll probably need to edit your video once you're done. If you're a newbie, you can check out a list of some of the most user-friendly editing software that's currently on the market here.
2. Install Some Orange Light Bulbs
Next to a good camera to shoot your sex tape with, pretty much any professional videographer or photographer will vouch for the fact that getting the right lighting down is key.
To tell you the truth, it's actually best to go with natural light, which means shooting your tape in the daytime (morning sex, anyone?), but if you'd prefer to do it at night, go with some orange light bulbs. It will create a softer effect on camera and also reduce any scars or marks on your skin that might cause you to be a little self-conscious.
3. Pull Out Some Props
Take your sex tape up a notch with the help of a few sex props. You can incorporate something that's already in your house—like your washing machine or kitchen counter—or pick up something like a sex pillow, some handcuffs or a mattress restraint. It really all boils down to how creative and/or risqué you want to get…and how entertaining you want your video to be.
4. Create a Soundtrack. Possibly a Script Too.
Something that can make a sex tape super sexy is some really great music. I ain't gonna lie, when I recently saw a duck twerking video (yes, you read that right), after I almost choked on my spit from laughing so hard, the first thing I wanted to know was what song was the duck dancing to. It was a short bop called "Vibe" by an artist named Cookiee Kawaii. If you don't want incredibly slow or even romantic music, adding songs like that can make your sex tape not just erotic but fun too. You can either play music semi-softly in the background or you can add it to your video afterwards (click here to learn how).
Speaking of fun, if you're hesitant to do a sex tape because you're thinking that it would be mad awkward, how about writing a script to follow? If you go into everything from the mindset of acting, it can take some of the pressure off. It can also make it easier to get into the flow of the act as well. It's not going to Hollywood, so don't overthink it. Just develop a couple of characters, a brief storyline and some loose dialogue. Then wing it, literally, from there.
5. Dress Up
Unless you want you sex tape to be a real-life documentary, by all means, PLEASE dress up for the occasion. If there was ever a time to pull out your absolutely-over-the-top-lingerie-best, it would be now. In fact, ask your partner what he has always fantasized about seeing you in and wear that. If you want to get all technical and you're wondering which colors resonate best on camera, blues and pastels are pretty dope. So are shades of grey and green.
6. Pick Your Angles
Angles are important too. For instance, if you're aiming for getting a wide shot of you and your partner's bodies, it's probably best to prop up your camera on the side of your bed. On the other hand, if a close up of your genitals are more of what you're after, the camera being at the corner of your bed is probably what's best. Just remember that if you use a smartphone and camcorder or action camera, that will help you to easily get some wide shots and close-ups without overthinking or doing a lot of starting and stopping.
7. Do a “Practice Run”
Probably, one of the biggest mistakes that people make while shooting a sex tape is just pulling out their phone or camera and pushing record. That's what makes it really amateur-looking. You can avoid this novice faux pas by doing a bit of a test run before you officially record your own. Set your cameras where and how you want and then shoot a few seconds of video, just to make sure you've got your lighting and angles right. It would be a shame to put in all of that hard work while the camera is crooked or the lighting is so bad that everything is blurry or you can't see much of anything at all.
8. Incorporate Some Erotic Self-Focus
If you've never watched an Aliya Janell Choreography video before, you're missin' out. One of my favorites is her "Backin' It Up" one ("So Anxious" is really sex too); not just because the girls are absolutely killin' the dance moves, but because they know how to rock heels and work a camera. Those dancers are totally aware of the fact that facial expressions are super important when you want to nail a performance. Same goes for a sex tape.
If you're naturally camera shy, something that can bring out your inner sex kitten is practicing some erotic self-focus. If you're sitting over there like, "What the heck is that?!", no worries. I penned a piece on it not too long ago. You can check it out here.
9. Don’t Forget to Do Some Dirty Talking
What's a sex tape without some dirty talking thrown in? Always remember that one of the best things about a sex tape is not just that you're able to watch you and yours in the act but you're able to pay close attention to all that's being said too. If you'd like a little inspiration, Kinky Quotes is full of stimulating one-liners. Remember, only you and yours are gonna see the video, so…feel free to totally go off, sis.
10. Transfer. Or DELETE.
Leaked sex tapes. I'll be honest, when it comes to celebrities, a lot of times they're about as "leaked" as their music (meaning, it's called an accident when it really isn't). Still, sometimes it does happen for real and usually that's because their sex tape is out in a cloud somewhere. That's why it's best to either shoot the video, watch it and then totally delete it (if it's on your iPhone, remember that you've got to also delete it from your "recently deleted album"; if it's your computer, remember to delete it from your recycle bin).
Or, if you want to keep it for future viewing pleasure, transfer the footage to your computer (NOT a cloud) and make sure your computer is password protected.
That way, the only people who can see the tape are the ones you want to see it. I'm pretty sure that you can totally feel me on that. Happy sex shooting, y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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