
Anyone who has turned 30 can look around and realize they might not have the same group of friends they had when they turned 20. Life happens, we relocate, we take on different journeys in life, and we just don't have the convenience of going across campus to binge TV. As much as we want to be the real-life version of Girlfriends – channeling our inner Joan, Toni, Maya, or Lynn, as we get older, our circle gets smaller and smaller. It might even turn into a triangle (or a line for those who just don't have time for the BS). Still, there's a type of friend that each of us needs during this phase in our life.
If we think our 20s are significant, our 30s are defining. But they can be the best years with these types of friends in your life.
1.Your Person:
This is your BFF, your ride-or-die. The Oprah to your Gayle. The Kelly to your Beyonce. We all need that one friend who just gets us. They've been with us through thick and thin and aren't going anywhere. They're supportive, but not afraid to tell us the truth out of love. They love us for who we are, and the feelings are clearly mutual. They know all of our secrets but would never reveal them because we know theirs too. You can be yourself around them, free of judgment, and they feel the same. It's the definition of a true friendship.
2.The Optimistic Friend:
Whether these are the years you'll experience life's biggest heartaches, or the happiest moments that will always make you smile, or both, you need a positive-vibes-only friend by your side. The optimistic friend is the one who always finds the positive in any situation. No, they're not wishing on rainbows and unicorns, but they understand that whatever is going on, you'll get through it. And they will always be there to remind you of that. They support you first and ask questions later. They're not perfect, but their attitude definitely inspires you to be better and have an amazing outlook on life.
3.The Reliable Friend:
Gone are the days of the flaky friend. Who has time for that? This isn't a push to just go and cut people off (unless you feel that's what you need), but when you're reflecting on the friendships in your life, who do you know you can depend on, no matter what? The reliable friend is a must-have in our 30s. This is a time in our lives when we're building our careers, our families, and our lives. The whole decade is a staple, and we need a friend who will show up and be consistent… and pretty much do what they say they'll do as we reciprocate the love.
4.The Beyond The Surface Friend:
Have you ever realized that some friendships that were once the closest don't really go beyond the surface anymore? Or maybe they never have. Some friendships are meant to be fun and exciting, but others are purposed to be more than social events and group chats. The beyond-the-surface friend goes deeper than the typical associate. You don't just talk about life, you do it together, no matter how much distance comes between you over time. This is one of the many types of friendships that take work. But when we have milestone moments, they're the ones who we want there with us.
5.The Adventurous Friend:
I literally have a friend who will ask, "Do you want to go to Aruba?.. Like, next week?" Sis keeps me on my toes! Obviously, seven days isn't enough time to plan or save for an international trip, but the type of friend who isn't afraid to be spontaneous is definitely needed during our 30s. They let us know it's OK to let our hair down and actually have fun! Everything doesn't have to be so serious all the time. Our best memories don't have to be the ones we plan. In fact, some of them are experienced on the fly when we least expect it. And we can live it to the fullest, thanks to our adventurous friend who isn't afraid to take a risk, try something new, and push us to do the same.
6.The Work Friend:
Who doesn't love a good work friend?! Someone who understands what you go through from 9-5. While the friendship starts out at work, sometimes it can grow into so much more. You might find yourself inviting them to your birthday parties, weddings, and baby showers. But the best part is, thanks to being around them basically all day every day, this is one of the friendships that are the most organic. You might only chat at work, or you could vent to each other after hours or during lunch. Either way, there's nothing like having a solid work friend in our 30s.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
My Female Friendships Were The Most Heartbreaking & Loving Relationships Of My Twenties
5 Things You Can Do Today To Be A Better Friend
What If You Love Your Friend… But Don't Like Her Anymore?
According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends – Here's Why
Featured image by Giphy
- The 10 Types of Friends You Should Avoid - JustMyTypeMag ›
- How Friendships Change Over Time - The Atlantic ›
- The 5 types of friends every African woman needs ›
- Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? - The New York Times ›
- 5 Types Of Friends You Don't Really Need In Your 30's ›
- Friends for life? Keeping friendships throughout your 30s ›
- 10 Types of Odd Friendships You're Probably Part Of — Wait But Why ›
- Study: The kinds of friendships you have in your 20s and 30s ... ›
- Types Of Friendships You Should Have By 40 ›
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
One thing that will never go out of style is the pride Black women take in showcasing and adorning our crowns. From sculpting braids to sleek bobs and curls for days, the girls are always playing with texture, color, and undeniable creativity—switching up our hairstyles like we do our moods. This season, hair is less about what's trending and more about expression. We're experimenting, evolving, and embodying every version of ourselves.
In partnership with SheaMoisture, this year's It Girl 100 celebrates the beauty of "Yes, And," an ode to the women who wear every side of themselves with confidence. These innovators remind us power and softness, heritage and reinvention, can beautifully co-exist. It's a call to own every layer of who we are. Because being an It Girl isn’t about choosing one version of yourself. It’s about saying yes to all of them.
Below, the women featured in xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025 are doing that—and then some—eloquently showing us how to say "Yes, And," to hair looks that always serve.
Luxe Layers x Serena Page
From braids and twists to platinum wigs, Love Island season six winner Serena Page continues to prove she can do it all, and do it all flawlessly. No matter the style, her hair game is undefeated. The softly layered middle-part with just the right amount of bounce is a classic Black girl hairstyle that gives inches without sacrificing body. It's a style that gives soft glam with a finish so seamless it could pass as a silk press—the kind of just-left-the-salon ease we all crave.
The Remix Cut x Ruesworld
When it comes to a short cut with attitude, Ruthann Palacios does not come to play. Known on social media by the moniker @ruesworldd, the content creator keeps her foot on our necks with the way she remixes her short cuts time and time again. Her recent sculpted, asymmetrical style is less of the "pixie" we're used to and more of a power move as she channels the bold innovation of '90s icons like Missy Elliott. This time, with extra length through her crown and right side, a sharp shorn left etched with box designs, and added length in the back, the hairstyle is equal parts edgy and architectural while being a look that's completely her own.
"I just told my stylist I wanted something cool and let them have full creative control with it," Ruthann told us of the hairstyle. "It channels my It Girl energy because I’m not afraid to take risks and show up boldly as myself, no matter the look." As a resident It Girl, it's clearly Rue's world—we're just living in it.
Fulani Flow x Kayla Nicole
Founder and podcast host Kayla Nicole's face card never declines, and neither do her statement hairstyles. One such look was her Fulani braids, a style that looked like it was made to be her signature. Originating from the Fulani people of West Africa, this traditional style features cornrows braided down the center of the head, with smaller plaits framing the face and beads or accessories woven throughout. Kayla's take on the tradition complete with center cornrows once again proved what we all know to be true: when it comes to heritage and repping for the culture, an It Girl never has to choose.
Top Tier Knot x Yana C.
Known to her followers online as @goldynaps, Yana C. is the queen of turning hair into her favorite art form. One of her latest looks feels like a love letter to '90s Black hair creativity. With Fulani-inspired cornrows braided flat and finished into bantu knots that line the center of her head like a crown, paired with a sleek straight sew-in flowing in the back, the style is equal parts nostalgic and next-level. And, of course, her signature ash blonde locks takes it all up a notch.
"This style was inspired by the ’90s—my favorite era for artistry in Black hair!” Yana shared with xoNecole. “My hair has always been such a notable part of who I am, and I love to express myself through it and make it an extension of my personal style. This style channels my It Girl energy because it’s a reminder that Black hair isn’t just hair—it’s art."
The look, which racked up major views on TikTok, is giving everything it needs to give. Because for Yana, self-expression will always make her the main character.
Sculpted Braids x Shema Love
Let Black girls be whimsical.
For content creator and creative visionary Shema Love, this hairstyle encapsulates that mood perfectly. The intricate, symmetrical design captures both the power and the playfulness defining this season's resident Black girl hair renaissance for It Girls everywhere. "I loved the whimsy of this hairstyle. I want to see Black women be allowed to experiment more with whimsy with our hair," Shema shares with xoNecole. "I love the symmetry of it and a look that shines from every angle. And of course, no style ever feels complete to me without my baby hairs laid."
Boho Boss Braids x Toni Bravo
Toni Bravo may be the "CEO of Blush," but she is also a resident slayer of hair looks. Whether she's rocking a custom install or a silk press, the content creator is making a hair moment just as often as she's putting us on to the latest beauty finds. But when she debuted her boho box braids earlier this year, she reminded us that every new hair alert hits just a little different.
Loose, free-flowing curls woven through intricate box braids add movement and softness to the tried-and-true style, creating a look that’s equal parts effortless and elevated. "I wanted something a little messy but just as intentional, and it was perfect. It channels the part of me that loves to have fun and switch it up while trying something new," Toni tells us about her look. "An It Girl knows that the best things are right outside of your comfort zone."
The low-maintenance meets high-impact style is one that channels Toni's booked, busy, and bossy era to a T.
Black Girl Bob x Maya Allen
Whether asymmetrical, curly, or blunt, there's something irrefutably It Girl about rocking a bob. With quiet confidence, it's a cut that commands attention. Beauty editor and expert Maya Allen has worn different iterations of the bob throughout the years, but this one—styled with a deep side part and cut just below her jawline—frames her face and enviable bone structure to perfection. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Maya dubbed her signature bob "a power cut." "It’s like a power suit for my hair," she added. "It makes me feel fierce and effortlessly chic without ever having to try too hard."
Fro The Culture x Zaynah
The afro will forever be a cultural statement. It's a style that represents the most natural state of our hair, a crown that often defies gravity whenever we choose to wear it. Content creator Zaynah understands the fro's power as a symbol of Black beauty and can be seen wearing her type 4 hair unapologetically in much of her viral social media content. Whether achieved through twist-outs, braid outs, wash n' gos, or perfectly picked, Zaynah's take on the afro hairstyle is full, stretched, and beautifully shaped. With it, she embodies not just It Girl energy with pride and confidence, but the freedom to take up space.
Pony Up x Kirah Ominique
As far as we're concerned, nobody does a ponytail quite like Kirah Ominique. The It Girl's It Girl has made the sleek, added-hair ponytail as signature of hers when she's not sporting braids or a slick-back bun. With her baby hairs laid, and every strand of her hair smoothed and locked into place, the hairstyle is a clean, sculpted serve that's as chic as it is fierce. The content creator and beauty influencer's ponytails are the perfect blend of playfulness and precision, a put-together staple in every It Girl's hairstyle arsenal.
In Her Copper Era x Keke Palmer
If "blondes have more fun," then the ladies deciding to rock copper are rewriting the rules. In recent years, copper has had a bit of a resurgence as a warmer, richer take on going lighter, and nobody's been owning that energy lately quite like Keke Palmer. This year, the host and actress debuted her now-signature hue in its boldest form yet: a tousled face-framing pixie that gives the timeless allure we've come to associate with '90s icons like Nia Long and Halle Berry.
As Byrdie put it best, "We've seen the shade at every length and in every style, but this one is truly something special."
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list here.
Featured image courtesy of Ruthann Palacios









