Y’all…Y’ALL. Even though I am an oh-so-very-proud card-carrying member of the Gemini club, I make it no secret that my favorite month of the year is October. With that being said, I live in Nashville, and so I can’t tell you how much the October that just passed totally disappointed me on the weather front. Most days, we were still clocking at around 80 degrees (what the hell?!) easily (hmph. And some folks still don’t think that global warming is a “thing”…amazing).
Now that we’re nestled into November, I’m starting to see more fall-like weather. In fact, the day that I’m actually penning this, the high will be in the 50s (awesome), plus it’s raining (even better). Since I work from home, I adore everything about what’s happening outside because, to me, it is the quintessential type of autumn experience — and the perfect backdrop to pen a piece like this.
Okay, so getting into the spa thing. Did you know that approximately 25 percent of Americans have never visited a spa before? What in the world is going on? As someone who has been, more than just a few times over the years, the kind of pampering, indulgence, and stress-releasing that a formal spa visit provides — let me put it to you this way: if you’re someone who makes New Year’s resolutions, please add making a professional spa appointment to your list. There is nothing like it.
In the meantime, I’m going to share some things that you can do, from the comfort and convenience of your home, that can help you to create your own kind of wonderful spa-like oasis — all fall-themed, all super satisfying…on so many levels. Trust me.
Autumn Vibes: How to Create a DIY Fall Spa Retreat at Home
1. Fall-Themed Scented Soy Candles
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Something that I’m always going to have in my home is some candles. I like the sensual lighting that they provide, along with the calming scents that they offer. The reason why I’m always gonna shout out soy candles is because they burn cleaner and last longer. So, before we get deeper into all of this, let’s start with the importance of getting yourself some candles (or a new set). In keeping with the fall theme — pumpkin, cinnamon, vanilla, apple, pomegranate, pine, sandalwood, bergamot, fireside, and ginger (or gingerbread) are just some that will give your home a super cozy feeling as you’re in the process of treating yourself.
2. A Fall-Themed Mocktail
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Some of the more high-end spas are going to make sure that there is some wine or champagne along with some fruit (and maybe even a light meal) that’s ready and waiting for you. So, why not mimic that experience by serving your own self a cocktail or mocktail (a drink that doesn’t contain any alcohol in it)? It can be something as simple as sparkling apple cider or as “extra” as a ginger grapefruit refresher (recipe here), pumpkin spice espresso mocktini (here), sparkling cranberry mocktail (here), pear rosemary mocktail (here), or some non-alcoholic mulled wine (here). And that’s just a small sample of how many options like these are at your Google disposal, chile.
3. A Fall-Themed Bouquet of Flowers
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Something that I used to do at the beginning of the (traditional/biblical) Sabbath (which is Friday sunset to Saturday sunset) is get myself a fresh bouquet of flowers as a way of celebrating the “ceasing of creating” (which is what Shabbat literally means). I need to get back into that because not only do fresh flowers make any space look prettier, they are relaxing, they improve our moods, and they help us to see things in a more positive light (research backs all of this).
So, set the scene for your at-home spa day by also picking up some flowers that are currently in season. Some of those include chrysanthemums, sunflowers, petunias, roses, canna lilies, Japanese anemones, African daisies, asters, coral bells, and violas.
(By the way, if you’re gonna go the professional florist route, Saturdays and Sundays are typically when they’ve got flowers on sale, while Mondays are the day when they typically restock everything.)
4. Fig and Honey Face Mask
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Okay, so from here on out, all of the treatments that I’m recommending are ones that consist of ingredients that are in season right now; ones that you can easily make from home.
That said, let’s start with how the combination of figs and honey is really good for your skin. You probably already know that figs contain fiber that can help to keep you regular; figs are also able to keep your blood sugar levels where they need to be. However, did you also know that figs are high in antioxidants that can help your skin to produce more collagen?
Some studies say that figs are great at fighting dermatitis. As far as honey goes, there are properties in it that fight bacteria (honey is actually a really good all-natural pimple spot treatment), help to brighten your skin, and can even help to fade acne scars over time. So, why not treat yourself to a fig and honey face mask?
Recipe: Fig Face Mask for Healthy Skin
5. Or a Pomegranate and Papaya Face Pack
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Another popular fruit right through this time of year is the pomegranate. It’s a bit irritating to open up, but it’s worth it once you do. Pomegranates have a whole lot of protein in them (over four grams per serving), fiber, vitamin C, folate, and antioxidants. Eating them regularly can help fight heart disease, reduce inflammation, and even give you more endurance during your workouts.
Skin-wise, pomegranates are known to effectively treat hyperpigmentation and acne and decrease signs of aging. If you bring papaya into the skin-treating mix, it will soften the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, as well as help to keep your breakouts under control.
Recipe: Pomegranate & Papaya Face Pack for Glowing Skin (this uses the oils, by the way)
6. Vanilla Extract Skin Toner
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If you want to read the origin story of vanilla extract, it’s actually pretty interesting; you can check it out here. As it pertains to what we’re discussing today, as much as most folks only think of it as a way to flavor food, there are all kinds of health benefits that come from vanilla (in this form) as well. Vanilla extract can help to soothe coughing, decrease anxiety and depression-related symptoms, and even help to relieve period symptoms and sleeplessness.
As far as beauty goes, vanilla extract also can help to promote hair growth, slow down the appearance of aging, and keep your skin looking radiant and healthy too. That’s why I definitely had to make sure that vanilla was added to the DIY spa treatment list of recommendations. There are simply too many reasons to not overlook it.
Recipe: Vanilla Body Spray Recipe
7. Pumpkin Hair Conditioner
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Pumpkin contains a crazy amount of vitamin A (per serving) and fiber. It’s also a pretty good source of vitamins C and E, iron, and potassium. If you want to consume pumpkin for your health, it’s full of antioxidants, strengthens your immune system, lowers your cancer risk, and it can help to strengthen your bones. Your hair will appreciate this particular fruit because pumpkin is also a good source of alpha-carotene, potassium, and zinc; all of these nutrients help to soften dry hair and promote hair growth at the same time. So, if you want to pamper your hair too by also turning your spa day into a wash day (check out “Here's How To Make Wash Day Less Of A Headache”), a pumpkin hair conditioner will be delightful on a few different levels.
8. A Chrysanthemum Bath
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Without a doubt, one of the most popular flowers of the fall season is chrysanthemums. Sure, they’re pretty to look at, yet did you know that some people consume this flower in tea form because it is able to help reduce body inflammation, lower high blood pressure, and even help with weight loss? Since the properties in this flower are also high in antioxidants, and they can help to make you feel more relaxed, why not throw a couple of tea bags into your bath water?
Or, if you want to take things up a notch on the pampering tip, I found a company that sells a product that contains chrysanthemum flowers, ginger lemon, and sea salts, all for a pretty reasonable price here.
9. Fall-Scented Cuticle Oil
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Cold weather can do a real number on your hands as far as dryness is concerned. And here’s the thing — dry hands can lead to raggedy cuticles or, even worse, hangnails. That’s why it’s so important to keep your nail cuticles moisturized, even in between manicure appointments. So, while you’re in the process of doing all of this pampering, don’t forget to either pick up or make some of your own cuticle oil. It’s not hard to DIY some of it. I’ll even do you a solid by including a recipe that has an in-season floral scent in the recipe: rose.
10. Pumpkin Foot Scrub
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Thanks to the zinc, copper, and multiple forms of vitamin B, pumpkin can be really nourishing to your skin. It protects from UV ray damage (the sun is still out when it’s cold, y’all), can help to improve the texture of your skin, improves cell turnover (so that you get newer skin faster), and can soften the skin too. Keeping all of this in mind, if you’ve got dry feet and/or cracked heels, get them all the way together with an all-natural pumpkin foot scrub. When you’re rubbing your toes together (or on someone else) to keep warm at night, you’ll be so glad that you did.
Recipe: Pumpkin Pie Foot Scrub
11. Cranberry Foot Massage
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Next to pumpkins, probably the most popular fall-related fruit is the cranberry. On the health and well-being tip, cranberries are a solid source of protein and fiber, they contain compounds that help to keep your vision strong and your liver in good shape, and you probably know that they can help to treat UTIs as well. Since cranberries also contain quite a bit of vitamin C, antioxidants, and anti-inflammatory properties if your feet are exhausted and you want to give them a bit of a boost, why not massage them (did you know that foot massages increase blood circulation, ease tension and help to relieve pain and discomfort too?) with some homemade cranberry oil (with the base ingredient being cranberry seed oil)?
Recipe: Cranberry Orange Body Oil
12. Pear Lip Scrub
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I’ve always appreciated a good pear. I also like that they represent things like abundance and longevity. Anyway, they are another fruit that is in season during the fall, so try and get some so that you can get in on benefits like improved gut health, a lower diabetes risk, improved heart health, and lots of vitamin C and potassium. Since pears are also hailed as “the ultimate” when it comes to being a wonderful skin exfoliant, moisturizer, and lip treatment, that’s why you definitely should try your hand at making your own pear lip scrub. I’ve done it before and have had absolutely no regrets.
Recipe: Pear & Sugar Lip Scrub
BONUS: A Faux Maple Tree
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If there’s a signature tree for the fall season, it’s probably the maple one. It represents things like strength, protection, and endurance. You know, something that I have in a couple of rooms of my house is faux trees. I adore everything about them because they help to “warm up” my space (visually). A tree in your bathroom can definitely help that room to feel more comfortable in the most unexpected ways.
If you want to test it out and see, add a faux maple tree to that spot. You can usually find smaller ones for under $30 (on Amazon) and under $70 for “miniature” large trees (if that makes sense — an example is here on Amazon too). Stores like Michaels (here) tend to carry them this time of year as well. I promise you that it’ll be hard to get out of the bathtub of yours with that addition being close by.
BONUS: Velvet Sheets
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I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who immediately wants to take a nap after getting pampered or pampering myself. If you want some bedding that will make you feel absolutely luxuriant, how about some sheets that are made out of velvet (or velvet fleece)? They look rich, feel super soft, are hypoallergenic, pretty easy to maintain, and will definitely keep you warm on those super chilly autumn nights.
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Listen, I’m not gonna let y’all off the hook as far as booking a professional spa appointment goes. However, as you can see, indulging yourself in your own place isn’t a bad idea either. After all, your home is your sanctuary space. So, this fall, why not spoil yourself with some pampering? As the year is starting to wind all the way down, I’m pretty sure that you’ll wholeheartedly agree with me when I say that you’ve totally earned it. Amen? Selah.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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