
Yeah buddy. I'm willing to bet a week's worth of groceries that you did not wake up this morning and think to yourself, "You know what would be cool to read about on xoNecole today? Hymens." But you know how we get down. If it's something that pertains to women, we are going to do our darnedest to write about it. And since hymens are something that we haven't covered yet, we thought—hell, why not?
Anyway, here are 10 things that I found to be interesting about hymens. If nothing else, chalk it up to being your "something new" for the day.
1. A Hymen Is a “Fringy Membrane”

Let's begin with what the hymen actually is. It's basically the membrane that marks where the external part of our genitalia (vulva) stops and the internal part of it (vagina) starts. Aside from menstrual blood, it's very difficult for anything to (comfortably) enter or exit the vagina when the hymen is whole. It's also worth mentioning that the hymen is kind of like a fringe of tissue, that's located approximately 1-2 cm inside of the vagina; one that semi-loosely covers the vaginal opening instead of being a "lid" that is fully intact over the vagina. Some researchers say that the hymen is simply leftover tissue that came about during fetal development. One more thing—it's the same color as the inside of your vagina, making it close to impossible to see or even feel it.
2. The Hymen Comes from the Root of the Greek God of Marriage Whose Name Is Also Hymen

While a lot of scientists claim that the hymen serves no purpose, a part of the reason why it's associated with virginity and religion is because the Greek god of marriage also has the same name. Do with that lil' coincidence what you will.
3. Cherries (Hymens) Don’t “Pop”, They Stretch

Although a newborn female baby starts off with a hymen that is rather thick, they do tend to thin out over time. And while the phrase "pop the cherry" is a popular one, the reality is that many women do not bleed the first time they have sex. The reason why is because their hymen is usually already super thinned out or "dislodged" by a tampon or some form of athletic activity by then (which is why a partner cannot feel the hymen if they penetrate you with their fingers or their penis).
Now what can happen is you might experience some slight bloodshed if your partner happens to stretch or tear the skin that comprises of your vaginal opening. That has more to do with the entry to your vaginal walls and less to do with your actual hymen, though.
4. Virginity Exams Are a Joke

Most of us can recall the T.I. ridiculousness last year when he talked about going with his daughter to the doctor to make sure she was still a virgin. I had that happen to me once; parents, don't do that. It's violating as hell and it's not something that we ever really "get over". Anyway, not only can this kind of doctor visit damage your relationship with your daughter, it's pretty much a total waste of time too. As we already discussed, a separated, dislodged or even outstretched hymen is not a clear indication that someone is no longer a virgin. Matter of fact, some women aren't even born with hymens, so basically, vaginal exams are a colossal waste of time.
5. You Can Get Pregnant with an Unstretched Hymen and Without a Penis Entering You

Something that's always really important to keep in mind is sperm can swim like nobody's business. Because of that, yes you can get pregnant with your hymen still in place and yes, you can also get pregnant without experiencing any penile penetration. If sperm happens to come into contact with your labia at all while you are ovulating, while the chances are slim, sperm can spill into your vagina and fertilize one of your eggs. A good thing to know if you're one of those "abstinent dry humping" kind of folks.
6. Hymenal Tags Could Be the Cause of Sexual Discomfort

Once the hymen stretches out or tears, there are oftentimes skin tags that remain known as hymenal tags. They aren't uncommon and are typically extremely small. However, sometimes the friction of your panties, masturbation or intercourse can irritate these tags, causing them to swell, making sex uncomfortable (if not flat-out painful) as a direct result. Sex, tampon use or any activity that involves straddling can cause these types of tags. A pelvic exam is pretty much the only way to detect them and, in many cases, with the help of cold compresses and ibuprofen, they heal in their own time without any type of medical intervention.
7. It Is Possible for the Hymen to Close Up Over Time

I know someone who lied to her husband and told him that she was a virgin when she got married when she was absolutely not. I think about her every time I read about women who sign up for hymenoplasty which consists of either repairing a torn hymen or even putting one there that never existed so they can bleed the first time that you have sex. After all of the myths that we just debunked, for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would spend the money or put the energy into going that route (healthy relationships are based on honesty and trust and the right man can handle your sexual past).
Besides, if you haven't had sex in a while (a few years not a couple of months) or you're a postmenopausal woman who has never had a vaginal birth before, it is quite possible for your hymen to "tighten back up" anyway. It's not because it grew back. It's actually because, since nothing is there to stretch it out, it healed and repaired itself. Free of charge.
8. A Hymen Can Actually Withstand Childbirth

As with labias and vaginas in general, no two hymens are the same. Not only that but some are super fragile and dissolve very easily while others are very thick and strong. So strong in fact that some are even able to remain in place, even after a woman has a vaginal birth (this revelation came, thanks to the book Virgin: The Untouched History by Hanne Blank).
9. If Sex Hurts, Don’t Automatically Think Your Hymen Has Something to Do with It

Whether it's your first time having sex, you are "returning to sex" after a long hiatus or you're currently with a new partner, while sex can sometimes be a little uncomfortable (based on the size of your partner, the positions you are in or how tense you are), it really shouldn't be all that painful. If that's what's happening, especially on a continual basis, don't chalk that up to your hymen showing out on you. Consider other possibilities like you're not wet enough, you've got a urinary tract infection (or some other underlying medical condition), you're allergic to the lube or condoms that you're using or, your muscles aren't as relaxed as they need to be. Again, remember that your hymen is usually not super thick once you're at the point of having sex, so if the experience doesn't feel all that great, it's best to attribute what is going on with something other than it.
10. Certain Animals Have Hymens Too

This last one, I'm just sharing because it's random as hell. Apparently, not only do women have hymens but so do certain animals. Horses, whales, elephants, moles and hyenas are just some of the animals that have them. Some scientists believe that whales have them to keep water from creeping in after mating while others say that mammal hymens help to keep bacteria out of the vagina.
Yeah, hymens are a bit of an enigma, no doubt. Still, your Creator made sure they existed for a purpose. If nothing else, they are one more thing that makes a woman a woman. That alone is a reason to be thankful for them. A moment of silence for all hymens, please…thank you.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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It’s probably been over the past 2-3 years that I’ve become hyper-focused when it comes to applying certain chemical exfoliants known as acids to my skin. Personally, I’ve come to really appreciate ones like mandelic acid and hyaluronic acid because they have a way of softening my skin, brightening it up and really evening out my complexion overall.
In fact, on my skin, they have been so effective that they have caused me to wonder what would happen if I applied some of them to my hair too — and boy, was it an experiment that paid off big time!
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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