Growing up, my parents always told me to save my money. Did I always listen? Of course not, but it’s one of the pieces of financial advice that I remember. I was also told not to depend on credit cards. I often saw my parents use their debit cards to pay for everything, and it wasn’t until I got older that I learned how to use credit cards to my advantage.
While talking to Natalia Brown and Dasha Kennedy, I learned I wasn’t the only one who grew up with similar teachings. Natalia serves as the Chief Compliance and Consumer Affairs Officer for National Debt Relief (NDR), and Dasha is a Financial Wellness Board Member for NDR and also runs the online platform The Broke Black Girl. Together, they are educating Black women and others on debt, the good and the bad.
They each have had their fair share of unlearning to do after going through rough patches that eventually started them on their financial wellness journeys. During our interview, Dasha and Natalia debunked myths about debt and broke down the many things that helped them on their way. One of those myths is that debt is bad. While using credit cards to make purchases on things you can’t afford and will be unable to pay back isn’t a good method, leveraging debt is, especially when building wealth.
Leveraging Debt
Dasha fell into debt after going through a divorce. While she was always told not to depend on credit cards, it became her only way of survival. However, after going through that experience, she continues to share her story and provide tips on how to get out of consumer debt and use credit cards to your advantage.
“This is something that I've talked to my audience about as just a simple way to decide on leveraging debt, using debt in a way that is going to make you more money. So being in debt, whether it's you know, credit cards to pay for a class or a certification or you need to get financing for a car, like using debt in a way that is going to help you make more money in the long run,” she says.
“So then, as you make more money, you will want to be able to pay off, you know, the debt that you took on, and on top of that, your income as a whole would have increased. So that's one way to leverage debt to build wealth or money by taking care of things or expenses that you need that could catapult your career, help make, you know, income even it's like investing in like a small business that you want to do.”
“This is something that I've talked to my audience about as just a simple way to decide on leveraging debt, using debt in a way that is going to make you more money. So being in debt, whether it's you know, credit cards to pay for a class or a certification or you need to get financing for a car, like using debt in a way that is going to help you make more money in the long run.”
Research
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Debt specialist Natalia recommends that people put the same amount of effort into researching credit cards and debt as they do everything else. She explains by sharing something someone told her. “I used to do more research on a pair of shoes or you know, Amazon shopping like I go straight to the reviews and people do that without even thinking about it,” she says.
“You put a lot more effort into researching the things that you want when you're making a purchase; you can do the same exact thing with like Dasha said, is this credit card the right credit card for me? I drive a lot, so I should have a gas card, right, versus a points card because that doesn't transfer the gas, right? So, you should look at every single aspect of your life. And when you're getting to a point of using it (credit) as a tool, make sure it fits your lifestyle and do as much research as you would, you know, a new car or a wedding dress or whatever those important things are that you've done a lot of research in. You should do the same thing with your debt situation.”
Shift Your Mindset
“It was realizing what I was doing was not the right way. Because I was sticking to what I was told. And I was in a predicament, right? And there were some social pressures, right? You're supposed to do certain things as a woman,” she explains. “You're supposed to get married, have kids, and all these things, and I was following this traditional Caribbean path. That without all the right tools to understand what I needed to make that successful. So it was realizing, you know, if I keep going this way, it's only gonna get worse. So I have to do something different.
“And it was that moment that I decided just like Dasha said, to not be ashamed of it, not to hide it. I made a pact with myself. It was actually 12 years ago; it popped up on my Facebook memories where it said I'm gonna change my life this year. And I just focused on that any way that I could. I made mistakes along the way, but I learned that you know, you learn from mistakes. You can't do everything perfect. And over that year, I decided to change my life."
When she began working for NDR, she learned more about financial literacy, which further enhanced her journey. She also found out that she wasn’t alone and a lot of women are or have been in similar situations. She was no longer blaming herself for having debt and was finally letting go of the shame around it.
“It was realizing what I was doing was not the right way. Because I was sticking to what I was told. And I was in a predicament, right? And there were some social pressures, right? You're supposed to do certain things as a woman.”
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“That's actually when I started with NDR is when I decided to make that shift, right. And one of the myths I had to get over was it was my fault. It was not my fault. There are so many reasons that people end up in debt,” she says. “It could be medical, it could be a divorce, like Dasha. It could be, you know, just not having the financial education.
“At the time, it was not taught in schools, right? I just barely had a macroeconomics and a microeconomics class in college and it was only because I was in accounting that I knew how to balance a checkbook. So, it's one of those things where I just really had to let go the the shame of it, just like Dasha said, and move on, right, and take control and be confident or at least learn how to be confident as I got more knowledge.”
Finding Safe Spaces
As Dasha was learning more about financial literacy, she relied on community, particularly online. The self-proclaimed financial activist created The Broke Black Girl, which started off as a Facebook group and now has become a popular online destination that shares tips on saving, investing, building wealth, and much more.
“For me, when it came to shifting my mindset, it was finding community online, finding places that validated me. At the beginning, I had to create my own space because I didn't easily come across some that approach debt or just money as a whole in an empathetic way in an understanding, meeting you where you are type way, which is what led me to create The Broke Black Girl,” she explains.
“But then as you grow and you learn, and you find more resources, you find more communities, and I also mentioned like resources like NDR that understands that debt is not a morally wrong thing, it's not something that you should feel ashamed, excluded from having certain conversations about money and getting the help."
“But then as you grow and you learn, and you find more resources, you find more communities, and I also mentioned like resources like NDR that understands that debt is not a morally wrong thing, it's not something that you should feel ashamed, excluded from having certain conversations about money and getting the help."
She continues, “So, for me, when it came to the shift in my mindset, it was really finding communities and resources, and organizations that validated my experience. So before I could even start with any tools or tips, I needed someone to validate that I wasn't crazy, that I was making this up, and I think that was a huge play in me learning to look at debt and just money different as a whole.”
Natalia and Dasha are passionate about educating others on financial literacy. Through NDR and their personal efforts, they are hoping to make a positive impact in the lives of others and help them avoid the same mistakes they made. For more information about NDR, visit nationaldebtrelief.com.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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