Adulting is hard but packing up and moving from one living space to the next is even harder. As a young adult, leaving home to attend college 300 miles away, I was yearning for a change of scenery so much so I couldn't wait to pack my belongings and head to sunny southern California. With each transition, it wasn't an easy task, however, nine years and 10 roommates later, I finally have a place to call my own. As liberating as it is to be in a space that's all mine, this move is unlike any other. As a single woman, the responsibility of uprooting myself has been more challenging than I ever imagined. More than just saving dreamy home decor inspiration via Pinterest, making "my house a home" has been a process that's easier said than done.
As a professional fashionista, I'm naturally inclined to all that is aesthetically pleasing. While I've always envisioned the type of space I want to come home to every day, over the years how I see myself and the world has evolved tremendously. At the ripe age of 31, I want a personal retreat from the outside world and I'm determined to curate a space that is comfortable, inviting, warm and luxurious. At this moment in my life, a safe and tranquil environment is my top priority, one that is true to who I am inside and out.
To be at peace, I want to surround myself with furniture and decor that speaks to what inspires me.
Our home should be a true reflection of who we are and who we want to be but that's difficult if we don't know ourselves. Creating the perfect ambiance can be challenging so I enlisted the help of aesthetic entrepreneur Antoinette Arrington to help those of us on our journey by focusing on what matters the most when filling our space. When I first reached out to Antoinette, I was determined to find out how I can decorate my new apartment on a budget but as I began to speak with her, I began to focus less on saving money and more on personalizing my experience.
As an interior stylist and home decor expert, Antoinette shares tips on key elements that will bring life to any living space as well as inside advice on getting the home decor items you want no matter the price.
What’s the first step when curating the perfect living space?
"My philosophy as an interior designer and stylist is that you live in a house but you are home. The things that you surround yourself with need to be an outward manifestation of where you've been or where you want to go. It's helpful to hone into who you are inviting into your space and share the results of your standards with because not everyone is going to get it and abuse it. My home doesn't have an open door policy, that's rule number one. If you're cultivating a space that inspires you towards your intentions, you don't have to lay out the welcome mat."
Antoinette Arrington, LA-based Interior Stylist & Founder of Haume
How can one avoid being overwhelmed when starting from an empty space?
"[Your living space] should be for you first and if you keep that in the forefront of your mind, that will influence how you shop and what you spend because luxury is subjective. Quality is how well something functions, luxury is how it makes you feel. Before shopping, you have to decide how you want a space to benefit you."
"Take your time in curating. Live in your home without any furniture for three months. Figure out where the light is, how your place sounds, how the temperature changes, and where you'll spend most of your time. Think of your perfect day and furnish that first."
"It may not be one room. It may be taking a hot bath, listening to music, and afterward putting on pajamas fresh out of the dryer and that you're climbing into bed wanting to watch a Netflix show so you buy bath sheets and make sure you have everything you need to enjoy a clean bathtub and a waterproof speaker. It also gets easier when those rituals start to change a bit, for example, going from a workout into the bath which may lead to investing in a corner of your home into a yoga studio or a gym. If you take the time to think of what you do, it's giving you an opportunity to figure out what you want. What's calling you?"
Speaking of shopping, any advice on how to avoid wasting money on items that we like at the moment but end up conflicting with the overall vision of what we want?
"The biggest waste of money is buying something because it's cute but it doesn't work or buying something that works but you have to hide because you don't want anyone to see it. That's how you end up with garages and closets full of clutter. Also, know that your home is an evolving space."
"What you like in this season may change. Don't shop with the idea that you have to keep something for 20 years because you don't. Think of it as a museum which curates art. The Mona Lisa bounces from place to place, she's there for a time and then she goes off to the next and it doesn't disrupt her legacy or the experience of the art."
"Changing your home decor is an ebb and flow. Don't walk in the store and buy the entire display or every trendy piece, take your time and curate your home. Trust your own voice and instinct. Don't search for validation for friends and family. If you like something, buy it and if you don't like it it's OK, be informed with the retailer's return policy."
Strategies for investing in high priced furniture?
"You need to be informed of what things cost, especially with COVID-19, like delivery and lead times. Also decide whether you want to assemble it because that goes into cost, everything can't be DIY. You need to buy your time back. Are you going to enjoy the thing you put together and it fell apart? Will you get frustrated and never finish? When making big purchases, looking into platforms like 'Handy' or 'Taskrabbit' are fairly inexpensive when putting together your furniture. Find someone experienced in a product that you bought and while they're there, have them put together a bunch of stuff. There are a lot of ways to make your money work for you."
How can we surround ourselves with luxury home goods within our budget?
"Deciding what you want your life to look like and who you are going to share or not share with helps set your budget. Go to your dream store, if money is no object, add everything to the cart as if you were going on a shopping spree then go look at the cart. That puts the object in the forefront. People tend to see something, fall in love with it but hear the price and decide they are not worthy. It's completely emotional, it may not even be that you don't have the money, it can be offensive just to see the price because they haven't made the connection between quality, luxury, and cost. [The key is] changing your mindset to '[I'm] investing in myself and my life and my experiences,' instead of, 'This couch is an investment.'"
Where do you shop for quality home decor?
"My couch is from Living Spaces and people don't believe me when I share the link. I routinely shop at Target, CB2, vintage, and Etsy. I don't own or wear anything that is exceedingly expensive, it's the combination of how you experience me that gives you the idea that I'm investing in myself. I go to HomeGoods for coffee table books and kitchen organization items, great national brands that are cheaper than other big box stores. They also have a great condiment and organic food section. You can find great lamps and rugs as well. Get to know your local store and ask when they restock. Introduce yourself to the manager so they expect you if you're looking for something. Bring a picture of what you're looking for. I like Costco, Sam's Club and Big Lots specifically for outdoor furniture."
Courtesy of Antoinette Arrington
What are some accents that can elevate your at-home experience?
"Art can be expensive, however buy your favorite prints for a fraction of a cost, go to Michaels or IKEA for frames or get the piece professionally framed. When it comes to oversized art, paint it yourself for an abstract piece. If you see art you like but don't like the frame, change it or repaint it."
"You can buy a nice set of dishes which are inexpensive at places like CB2 or Ikea. Vintage cutlery from Etsy or really cute forks from Target. Cloth Napkins from World Market or CB2 are a couple bucks. Glassware is not expensive at all, they can be $10. You can buy really nice inexpensive glassware from CB2. You can start small. If you really want a nice plate setting, do it for you and eat lunch on it every day. Buy yourself nice forks and a couple cloth napkins and a pretty plate. You don't have to use champagne glasses for just champagne. Make yourself accustomed to using nice things and normalizing it. You wouldn't go to Crustaceans and use paper napkins and plastic forks. Hotels have glasses on the counter for you, nice lotions and pretty soap, do that at home."
When seeking inspiration for the overall aesthetic of our place, how can we bring our ideas together into one cohesive look?
"Having a design plan, the colors and textures you like as well as what you're drawn to. If you saw something in a store and thought about it all night, hopping in your car early in the morning hoping it's still there, what would it be? Buy those things. If there's a place you want to travel to, research how people there live and what their days look like. If it was Tulum, I'd have a hammock in my living room and no one could say anything to me about it. A corner with a hammock and a bunch of plants that reminds me of Mexico."
"When you travel, bring back a piece of art, a cup, mask, pottery or wall hanging and display it in your home. You can share experiences with your guests. Your home should be ground zero for everything you need to be. You shouldn't have to code-switch in your house or put on armor. You should be exactly who you are. Recognize yourself first at home and then go out in the world and introduce yourself to her."
"If you don't know who you are, you're going to let everybody tell you who they think you are."
I bought a Fiddle Leaf tree recently however I don't want to go overboard with taking on too many new responsibilities at once. What is your advice for new plant moms?
"Be honest and be realistic. Go to a local nursery, not a hardware store, even if you don't buy anything, ask someone who is accustomed to speaking with clients about their inventory and is well-versed on the types of plants and the type of lighting in your house that will help you make an informed decision. Tell them about your lifestyle, if you have air conditioning, if you're home a lot, will the plant get fresh air or if you'll need a grow light. All pretty plants aren't care-free. I would suggest something as low-maintenance as possible for your first plant."
"You will have to invest in plant food, repotting, and making sure it's watered. Start with one, something small that you access a lot so that if it dies, you'll notice. If your perfect day is sitting around with 15 plants taking care of their leaves and repotting, if that's calming, go ahead and jungle out. If that's not your thing, get an artificial plant that looks real. You don't have to have plants in your home."
Courtesy of Antoinette Arrington
What are gems to keep in mind when making a house a home?
"There is no one combination of things that makes a house feel like home. It's a combination of happiness, intention, patience and investment that's going to make it feel like a home to you. You took the time, spent wisely, and you're living a life that incorporates all of your belongings. Do your due diligence when shopping for your home, you don't always have to fill an empty spot. No more cutting corners, have an abundance mindset when cultivating your space, but take your time! Filling your space too quickly can be a sign that there's something missing inside of you."
For more of Antoinette, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Antoinette Arrington
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images