Ciara Opens Up About Growing Into Her Confidence & Gives Advice On Finding Your Equal

When you think about positive women in the music industry who can be looked to as role models, Ciara should come to mind. The wife, mother, and businesswoman have leveled up in all areas of her life and her story has served as an inspiration for many women. Fans have witnessed her growth from her “Goodies” days as the princess of Crunk&B to becoming an international superstar. Now, she has ventured into other spaces such as skin care, fashion, education, and more.
The “Better Thangs” singer covered the Sept/ Oct 2022 issue of Ebony and got candid about motherhood, working with husband Russell Wilson, and overcoming challenges she’s faced in the music industry.
Ciara on Growing Into Her Confidence.
“In the beginning, it was challenging living my life in front of the world. It made me way more guarded. Even when you have your ugliest moments that you wish no one else could see, you don’t have a choice. My philosophy is to run towards my fears and the things that make me uncomfortable, so I was running for a while. As a young girl coming up in this industry, I was carrying so much on my shoulders. Eventually, I was like, 'You know what, this is who I am and either you like it or you don’t.' I can’t live my life based off what someone thinks, or someone else’s comments. Then suddenly, I’ll start thinking that in my mind because words are powerful.”
“I’m also spiritual, so I am who God says I am; no one can take that away from me. When you reach higher heights, the hate grows greater—it doesn’t stop. But baby I’m hater-proof. And even when people say negative things, I think to myself, 'God bless you. I understand you could be going through something, but I’m going to love.' And guess what? I’m good. My family loves me. I’m good. God loves me. I’m good. There’s nothing you can say that’s going to alter that or make me feel any different.”
Ciara on Finding the Right Partner for You.
“Don’t ignore the signs. Sometimes we want to make things happen with people who only check off a few boxes. Conversation is everything. The first day my love and I talked, I had never had a conversation like that with any other person. You have to really listen to what people are saying. How do they talk about people? How do they love themselves? How do they love others? Are they spiritual? Do how they think align with your thoughts? All these things tell us a lot.
"When you have that common-ground connection, it’s more than half the battle. It’s less about words—because people will sell you a dream—and more about what they do. You have to see who someone truly is. And time does tell a lot, you know? But at the same time, the truth could be right in front of us and we’re just not opening our eyes. Don’t be afraid to be disappointed. I know I’m not perfect, but things work perfectly right for us. I believe there’s a person that’s perfect for everyone.”
Ciara on Working with Husband Russell Wilson on Their Fashion Brands.
“It’s so much fun because we’re doing it together. The great thing is that when he and I do anything together, we get to have a little bit of work and play. Luckily, we’re equally yoked and our visions are aligned. We have a big vision to create successful businesses. The ultimate goal is to build billion-dollar businesses. For us, this is about creating legacy brands. We have dreams to impact in every way possible. And there’s also a family component to it—we want to afford our kids the opportunity to possibly continue our legacy and work for the House of LR&C one day.”
Ciara on Motherhood.
“Being a mom is my most favorite job of all jobs. It’s work, day in and day out, and it is not easy. But it’s so worth it. My family has given me my why. I look at my husband, and I’m inspired every day. I’m even more driven because of my children; they make me feel like I’m doing something more in life. Life isn’t only about success. I feel very blessed that I’ve been able to win awards and make hit records. But you know, it only lasts but so long. That’s just the truth of it. Don’t get me wrong, legacy is forever, but the bond and love that I have with my family is even greater than anything I can be given.”
Ciara on the Advice She Would Give Herself After Having Her First Child.
“The journey I went on in front of the world was not the most comfortable. I felt so vulnerable in that moment. What I learned is to embrace the vulnerable times head-on. Looking back on [that] moment in my life I would tell myself, 'You’re doing good girl. Everything’s going to be alright. There’s good in what you’re going through, even in our toughest times.' There’s a scripture I love in the Bible, James 1:2-4, ‘Consider it pure joy when you face trials and tribulations because the testing of your faith produces perseverance.’ It’s the reason I named my label Beauty Marks Entertainment. My idea was that all of the scars you get from the obstacles you face in life are your beauty marks. All those moments that didn’t feel so beautiful and felt like a flaw are actually beautiful.”
Ciara on the Challenges She’s Faced with Stardom.
“When I was young, I wore my heart on my sleeve. What I realized is when it comes to business, not everyone’s going to be as sincere as you are. That was a challenge for me along the way because in some rooms not everyone deserves to know everything or for you to give them every part of you—you must be selective. It took me a second to understand that, especially as a businesswoman. I learned to take my emotions out of it because business isn’t personal. The moment I did it was game-changing.”
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
There is a very specific reason why I decided to write this article before the holiday season officially gets underway. It’s because I once read a study that said it’s quite common for most Americans to double the amount of alcohol that they consume between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
It makes sense when you stop to think about all of the holiday parties, time off, and moments spent with loved ones that transpire around this time of year. And while there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying some mulled wine, real-deal eggnog, or peppermint martinis, because your health is something that never “takes a vacation,” I thought it was important to share with you some of the benefits (pros) and challenges (cons) that can arise from alcohol consumption.
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
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‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
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