

Even though this month consists of two of the most popular days of the entire year—Christmas and New Year's Eve—I recently discovered that December features another day of observance; one that surrounds doing one of my absolute favorite things on the planet—taking a bath. Well, in the spirit of all that is pampering and luxurious, guess what today (December 5) is? It's officially National Bathtub Party Day (#BathtubPartyDay) which is all about encouraging us to forego the five-minute shower that a lot of us take on the way to work and, instead, choosing to get very up close and personal with our tub instead. How awesome is that?
What's really special about this is the fact that, aside from the pure relaxation that comes from taking a long soak, there are lots of health benefits that you can get from spending time in your bathtub too. Bathing increases blood circulation, reduces pain and body inflammation, soothes achy joints and muscles, detoxifies your skin and even helps to balance out your hormones. Plus, if you decide to bring a guest into the tub with you, well, like they say—the more, the merrier!
So, before heading home tonight, do yourself a favor and stop by a store to pick up some of the following items; ones that will turn your bathtub party into one that you—and yours—will not soon forget.
Soy-Scented Candles
A big part of what comes with having a luxurious bath time experience is setting the right mood. Something that can help you to do that is turning off your bathroom light and lighting some candles instead. I recommend going with soy ones because they burn longer and cleaner (which means they are better for the environment).
If you're going to bathe alone, get some scented ones that will help you to relax—lavender, rose, jasmine, lemon and frankincense are all wonderful de-stressors. If your boo will be joining you, go with scents like vanilla, pumpkin, sandalwood, ylang ylang and orange are surefire ways to light your libidos right on up.
Plants and/or Flowers
Something else that's a nice addition to bathing is making the room as tropical as possible; especially during the fall and winter seasons. You can do this by bringing a couple of plants and/or flowers into your bathroom and either placing them on the toilet or—if the plants are tall enough—beside it. My recommendation would be to get two bouquets of roses. You can use one to set the atmosphere and you can pull the petals off of the other to place into your bathwater. Not only will the petals make you feel extravagant, DIY rosewater will make your skin silky soft as well.
92-Degree Bath Water
Earlier this year, I penned a piece entitled "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?". One of the things that I touched on is what the temperature of your bathwater should be. According to a lot of health experts, it's best if your water is lukewarm; based on something that I recently read, 92 degrees qualifies as being that. But if you want to make sure that your water isn't too hot or too cold, test the temperature with your wrists rather than your fingers before getting into the tub. Your skin is more sensitive on your wrists, so you'll be able to get a more accurate read by using them.
Bath Salts
As far as what you should actually put into your bath water, don't sleep on bath salts. Not only are they able to detox your system, they also can boost your immunity, soothe your muscles, balance the alkaline levels in your body, increase your energy levels and, because it's currently cold outside, bath salts are able to relieve any congestion that you might have too.
If you're wondering what kind of salts to get, it all depends on what you want to accomplish most. Epsom salt is a great detoxifier. If your body feels tired and drained, peppermint salts will revive you. Looking for salts that will treat dry skin? Go with some almond or orange ones. Or, if you want the kind of salts that will effectively treat skin conditions like psoriasis, eczema or acne, opt for some seaweed bath salts. As far as grain size, the smaller the salts, the more effective they are. Oh, and bath salt colors play a significant role as well. Cooler hues tend to offer a more soothing effect while warm colors are more prone to energize. Just make sure that you go with bath salts that are made from sea salt; they are the ones that will give your body the most benefits.
By the way, if you'd prefer to make your own, all you need is some Epsom salt, sea salt, baking soda and your favorite essential oil (or oils). You can check out a pretty simple recipe here.
Essential Oils
Something that can give you a great aromatherapy experience is if you add a few drops of essential oil (no more than 20 drops is best) into your bathwater. Although pretty much any kind will do, if you want to clear up your nasal passages, go with eucalyptus; bergamot reduces stress; chamomile will help to relax you; rosemary increases blood circulation (which automatically makes it an aphrodisiac oil); cinnamon contains antispasmodic and analgesic properties that relax muscles and even help to clear up chest colds; neroli promotes a good night's rest, and clary sage reduces symptoms that are associated with anxiety.
Bath Pillow
Something that can totally change the way that you soak and bathe is investing in a bath pillow. Not only do they help to support your neck, back and shoulders, some studies cite that they can increase your ability to relax while you're in the tub by as much as almost 85 percent. This link can provide you with some fan favorite brands. Or, if you want to run by a local Bed Bath & Beyond on your way home, look for the Luxury Spa Bath Pillow. Home Depot has a Soft Comfort Spa Seat Cushion too.
Bath Gloves and DIY Shower Gel
Personally, I'm a fan of using bath gloves in order to wash up; that's because I am able to comfortably reach all parts of my body. As a bonus, bath gloves are an easy way to exfoliate while I'm washing up. As far as what you should wash with, if you add some shea butter, glycerin and xanthan gum to the castile soap that you already have, you can lather up with a wonderful-feeling homemade shower gel (cop the full recipe here).
Red Wine
Thanks to the antioxidants, flavonoids and polyphenols that are in red wine, you'll be doing your body a real favor if you treat yourself to a glass of it while you're in the midst of enjoying your bath time. The key is to have no more than 4-5 ounces (per day) and to get the kind of wine that will be the most personally beneficial for you. If tons of antioxidants are what you're after, look for a madarin wine. If you'd prefer less sugar and calories, pinot noir has your back. Also, if you want to know what kind of red wine is healthier overall, dry is better for you than sweet.
An Ultra-Plush Towel
Something else that's super important is the kind of towel that you decide to hop out of your bathwater with. If you like super plush towels, ones that are made out of Turkish cotton and are 820-gram are probably gonna be your best bet. Or, if you'd prefer the kind that will dry your skin quickly and also won't take forever to dry on your towel rack, opt for a towel that is made out of microfiber.
If It's Gonna Be a Party for Two:
Shower First
A husband once told me that the only way that he will ever take a bath is if he takes a shower first. Personally, I don't do that when I'm alone, but if I were to share a tub with someone, that's how I would get down too; especially since taking a bath with another person isn't really about getting clean…if you know what I mean. And who wants to soak in each other's dirty and dead skin cells for thirty minutes or more? Yuck.
Besides, as far as the showering first part goes, it's not like you can't make some things go down while you're scrubbing in the shower. Shower sex was actually one of this year's biggest sex trends, so why not literally go out of 2019 with a…bang?
Less Bubbles, More Milk
If your plan is to get "dirty" before getting clean, it's probably best to lay off of the bubbles. Between all of the moving around in the water, they can prove to be a little irritating if you and yours aren't careful. Instead, swap out the bubbles for some homemade bath milk. It has a way of naturally exfoliating your skin and making it really soft as a direct result. (There's a great recipe for it here.)
Music (or ASMR)
Don't ask me how I ended up reading "Chance the Rapper Made You a Bath Time Playlist", but all things work together and it did remind me to put play some music on the list. If you're bathing alone, this is another way to get into a relaxing mood.
However, the reason why I reserved this for the "party of two" section is there's a study that says music makes sex better because it actually enhances our sense of touch.
Sounds like a good enough reason to bump some R&B if you ask me. Or, if you'd prefer to feel like you're caught up in a wind or rainstorm, YouTube has plenty of ASMR videos that you can play which I also think is pretty hot.
An Aphrodisiac Drink—or Two
When you're alone, have some wine. When someone is joining you, serve up an aphrodisiac drink like Cupid's Kiss, Ginger Mango Granita, Mango Jasmine Bubble Tea, Mexican Hot Chocolate Martini or Saratoga. All of these contain at least a couple of ingredients that officially make the aphrodisiac list and between all of the wetness and closeness, just imagine what an alcoholic libido booster can do for the two of you.
Waterproof Lube
Just one more thing. If you do plan on gettin' it in while you're bathing, it's a good idea to keep some waterproof lube by the side of the tub. Water has a way of washing off your natural wetness, so you need something that can replace it, just so the sex remains wet 'n wild rather than dry and uncomfortable. Astroglide is a popular brand that you should be able to find at Walmart. Enjoy your time in the tub. You (and yours) deserve it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes
5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself
8 Insanely Good Sex Positions That You've Probably Never Heard Of
I've Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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