The whole subject of code-switching, as it stands now, makes my skin crawl, especially when I see other Black women promoting it as a positive thing to do. And as grown-ass working Black queens, especially those of us in fields that are majority male or majority white, we've all done some form of code-switching.
When you totally change the way you speak, your mannerisms, your tone, or any other way of communicating, you've earned your place in the Code-switching Club, sis. And if you're among the scores of Black women who have felt they've been forced to code-switch simply to survive and pay the bills, let me tell you now: I chose, a decade ago, to never code-switch to the point of inauthenticity and mental turmoil again, and today, I'm challenging you to do the same.
Before we go any further, let's get into more about what exactly code-switching involves. Research has found that people find code-switching "professional," and that the act can indeed "facilitate career advancement, connection and other forms of success." As much of this can be true since code-switching comes with its rewards, I have found, as a Black woman who has worked in both corporate and small-business environments, that the definition and sacrifice of self for us goes way beyond just speech.
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In my experience, if I spoke too loudly, I was labeled "ghetto" or "uncouth." If I spoke too much with my hands, used slang, or didn't enunciate every syllable, I'd be considered unreliable, uneducated, or not trustworthy. If I used analogies that are smart but rooted in "urban" or Black culture, I'd sometimes be laughed at like I was the company comedian.
Code-switching has been found to take an "emotional toll" on Black professionals especially. The motivation behind code-switching involves being accepted in environments where you feel you have no choice but to blend in or totally change who you are during your office hours just so you can pay the bills or advance up the ladder.
This involves fighting against what is called "stereotype threat," and can "undermine motivation and trust and cause underperformance." We all know that as Black women, communication goes beyond just our words and phrases, into the way we use gestures, dress, and our overall powerful swagger. For us, the promotion and rewarding of code-switching (both passively and overtly) are stifling, discriminatory, and, dangerous. It's also rooted in bias and white supremacy. Yep, I said it.
It's one thing to be respectful, eloquent, graceful, and emotionally intelligent. Those are all amazing leadership qualities and skills that are necessary for anybody in any business or social arena. But it's a whole other thing to put Black women in a monolith and force them to totally change who they are every day--- women who are already disenfranchised in the workplace, face double discrimination, are disproportionately underrepresented in the C-suite, and already have to fight to "lean in" and take up space.
So how did I thrive by not code-switching? Here's how I navigated my rebellion against an age-old so-called norm in the workplace:
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1. I aligned myself with organizations, opportunities, and companies that were a fit for my personality, career goals, and values.
I like to change up my hair without a bunch of judgments and questions, and I'm okay with bluntly letting someone know that I'm not in the mood to explain why or how. I like to use slang (hell, even patois), and I talk with my hands. I laugh heartily and I'm passionate about what I do, so yes, sometimes my tone is louder than a whisper. I have a deep Virginia country accent or a very-suspect Trinidadian-Jamaican one, depending on the situation. And all of the clients and publications I work with respect and love those things about me.
Not all Fortune 500 companies are created equal when it comes to truly facilitating diversity and inclusion, both in good and bad ways, but you can indeed find a company where you can just be yourself (whatever that means for you) while doing work that is impactful, challenging, and rewarding.
Go on informational interviews, ask questions about diversity resources and company culture, connect with others who work for your dream brands to get a sense of what it's like in the office, and look up folk on LinkedIn to discern if that company's mission, values, and vibes match with your goals and values.
Also, why not look outside of the corporate realm and work for smaller brands, nonprofits, or startups? I've found that I have the most freedom to just be me working with entrepreneurs or companies that aren't yet at the 500-global-locations stage. Many of the companies I've worked for or with were either Black-owned or women-led, and I've had the most fulfilling career experiences with those types of companies simply because their goals, way of doing business, and priorities were similar to mine.
2. I got real with myself about my personality and communication styles in the workplace--the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I'll be honest here: I've had to get some major mentoring and even pursued a master's degree to learn how to better communicate as a leader. I've found that when I feel slighted or upset, for example, I'm more apt to be super-disrespectful and off-putting, which indeed is unprofessional and alarming to co-workers and clients. I know I'm a good leader, love to help people, and have the experience to guide others, but I keep it very real with myself when I fall short and the actions I need to take to improve.
While code-switching can be demoralizing in certain situations, sometimes we have to confidently know ourselves in order to determine when it's necessary and when it's not.
For example, I've found that raising my voice or tightening my tone can be problematic if a difference of opinion happens, so I've learned to smile, take a deep breath, think first, listen clearly, then respond. I also know I have a strong presence in any situation, and my energy when I walk in a room is super-noticeable. It's a bittersweet gift. (I have always been bossy, and I've had to play leadership roles in my household since childhood, so that can also be misunderstood or taken the wrong way.) Thus, if I really want to serve or get people to endear themselves to me, I can be a bit more graceful in my approach or try not to immediately criticize or correct someone.
The key realization here, though, is that these are all self-improvement actions I take, as a human being, after consistent self-reflection, therapy, training, and journaling, not trauma responses due to being afraid of embodying some unfair Black woman stereotype.
If you're not sure of your strengths and weaknesses as they relate to your workplace communication and experiences, try an assessment like CliftonStrengths, talk with a trusted workplace bestie or mentor, or hire a career or life coach to troubleshoot scenarios and process through your communication styles.
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3. I stopped taking jobs just for the money and focused on my ultimate lifestyle goal and purpose.
I know, I know. This can seem challenging for many of us who have bills to pay and other very expensive obligations. Hear me out: So, instead of staying in a workplace or employment situation, that for me, became toxic simply due to the fact that the culture just wasn't a good fit, I went freelance and decided to take my risks there. If I had to work a customer service or remote tech job in between---just to pay the bills--- yet still have the freedom to seek out the real fit where I could be myself, so be it.
Just as some of us can sacrifice to get that six-figure job at a place where you're okay with cutting off your braids, turning into a whole different character, or wearing a black wig over those red curls (not judging sis; I see you and love you!), some of us must sacrifice in order to reach our end goal of radically saying no to doing those things.
It's everyone's right and unique journey as to what they deem important in order to reach their career goals (which connect to life quality and vision) and being able to wear my hair and nails the way I want, respectfully speak when and how I want, and having the freedom to communicate in ways that are both effective and genuine to me is more important in the grand scheme of things. (Also, these freedoms allow me to connect with the audiences I feel called to serve, thus, I have no choice but to do so.)
I spent years just not being myself, paying so-called dues, and have felt the negative residual effects of doing that. It's wasted years that I could have used pouring into becoming the best, most authentic version of me, and it was a relief to finally say, "Nope, pick somebody else. I'm not the one anymore." And you can, too, sis.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023