If there's one thing we know, it's that the relationship between a naturalista and her mane is filled with outstanding highs and sometimes embarrassing lows.
Some days, you feel like you're one of the JET Beauties of The Week. Other days, you just want to throw on a hat and disappear because your hair decided to do its own thing and show out. And we all know that dreaded feeling that comes the morning AFTER a bomb hair day. You know, the moment you take off your bonnet or silk scarf, shake out your hair, take a good look, and––yeah. We've been there sis, more times than we'd like to admit. But the good news is, you don't have to stay there.
Keep reading for some of our fave products that'll keep your second-day curls poppin'.
*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, xoNecole may earn a small commission.
Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls
Miss Jessie's
There's a reason why they call it jelly soft. If your curls are a little lackluster, dampen your hair or add a decent amount of this product to dry hair, scrunch for best results, and watch them come back to life.
Cantu Coconut Curling Cream
Cantu
If the smell doesn't get you sold, then the way this product enhances your curls will. This smooth cream lets your natural curl pattern shine through without weighing your hair down.
SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie
SheaMoisture
This product has been a staple for naturalistas seemingly since it first came out, and there's a good reason for that. It truly is one of the best curl enhancers for thick, curly hair. As a seven-year naturalista, this is one product that never does me wrong.
Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Fortifying Conditioner
Garnier
I firmly believe that one of the best ways to ensure good day-two hair, is to prep and properly moisturize it from the beginning. This brand is normally targeted towards our less curly friends but don't sleep on this conditioner. The fruit protein actively works to control frizz which sets you up for a smoother, sleeker finish once you get to styling.
Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Intensely Smooth Leave-In Conditioner
Garnier
We strongly suggest following up the Garnier conditioner with its leave-in companion. And that's because the infused Argan oil in both will help to seal in your hair's natural moisture while blocking out humidity. And with both systems working together, believe us when we say––your curls will look brand new.
Creme of Nature Pure Honey Curl Activator
Walmart
It's the shine and elongation for us. This curl activator not only keeps your strands looking silky smooth, it also helps elongate them, kicking shrinkage to the curb. And who doesn't want that?
Cantu Define & Shine Custard
Target
This custard gives you all the benefits of a nice, defined curls without the sticky buildup. It also keeps them soft and bouncy, no hard-crunch in sight.
SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Yogurt Leave-In Spray
SheaMoisture
When this line first came out, I had never heard of Manuka Honey. But honey, when I tell you this spray is the truth? Use this for a quick curl refresher to hydrate and reawaken your coils.
Eco Styler Black Castor & Flaxseed Oil Gel
Walmart
We know the jury is still out on whether or not we really rock with Eco Styler like that. But for those that do or those who are willing, this Black Castor and Flaxseed Oil version turns your curls from dry and dull to light and luscious with little-to-no effort.
Curls Blueberry Bliss Control Jelly
You aren't a true naturalista if you don't have this jelly in your stash. From your fave influencers to everyday babes, this product not only defines your curls but it holds the curl in place. That way your hair keeps its beautiful form day after day.
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Featured image by Shutterstock.
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Timeekah Murphy
Photo courtesy
xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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No matter the state you live in, your age, how much you earn for a living, or if you’re a chronic app dater, there’s a general consensus that something (anything) must be done to restore the hope of singles looking for long-term, fulfilling relationships. And as many of us hold on to the hope for an unexpected cross-encounter with our next love story, others are leaning on the side of giving up completely. But before throwing in the towel, it might be time to make a few adjustments.
Dating Apps Are In Their Flop Era, Making Connections IRL Is Where It's At
Alistair Berg/Getty Images
Many singles agree that spending their leisure time swiping through dating apps is out. What’s in is stepping out of one's comfort zone to make connections in the real world. Scary. We know. But unless you were one of the lucky few to find love on dating apps before its flop era or made a love connection from home during the pandemic, going about your dating life the same way is bound to render the same results: being single with a headache. And we want better for you.
It’s safe to say that constantly meeting strangers off the internet for a chance to find love has lost its charm, leaving singles open to the train, farmer’s market, the gym, or a friend’s house party to be prime real estate for matching up with potential partners.
This shift, as Marissa Nelson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and BLK’s Relationship and Intimacy Expert tells xoNecole, is due in part to a growing concern about the authenticity of online profiles — in other words: is what you’re seeing, in fact, what you’re getting? “From their profile picture, what they say they do, the height they say they are; it’s this fear of, ‘Am I really talking to who I think I'm speaking to?'” she explains.
On our journey to finding “the one” out in the real world, a common question is, “Where do you find the available singles?” The short answer is, everywhere. The long answer is at the grocery store, on a plane, during happy hours, at work, at a conference, on a solo vacation, or, as Nelson puts it, anywhere you are showing up as your most open and vulnerable self.
“You never know where the connection is going to come from, which is why it's even more important to be receptive, to stay open, be curious, and lean into your vulnerability,” she says. In fact, Nelson encourages singles to release themselves of the rigidity around finding the perfect person at the “perfect” place, because, in essence, there isn’t one. “We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people,” she says. “We have to be open to however love shows up.”
"We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people. We have to be open to however love shows up."
We all can relate to the fact that the idea of shooting our shot in real life is a lot more exciting than the actual act. The relationship expert explains that one of the greatest hesitations to us putting ourselves out there and taking a chance on love is rooted in the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “we’ve all been hurt” and most importantly, “we’re all afraid of rejection.”
That’s why Nelson suggests the following strategies to make the first move and find love in your everyday life.
1. Don't close yourself off.
“When you relax your expectations, you start to meet really cool people. Some of those cool people became friends and that makes your life richer because now, you have new friends and great people to hang out with. Even if it wasn't a love match, it can become a significant or meaningful friendship.”
2. Don't let your "type" hold you back.
“We all have a type. And a lot of women will say, ‘I like them tall. I like them like this or that.’ When we’re rigid about who we believe we ought to be with versus being open to people who might be more aligned with our values, we close ourselves off. Sure, you're not going to date somebody that you are absolutely not attracted to. But people have a lot of unwritten rules around who they will allow themselves to get to know, and I challenge people to challenge their rules because that can hold you back from expansive experiences.”
skynesher/Getty Images
3. Make the first move.
“I think that if we can be bold, be brave, and if there's somebody that's good-looking, catches your eye, or just seems like they have a good vibe, we can approach them with curiosity. Ask them how they're doing. Introduce yourself. It doesn't have to lead to all these things; you can just have chemistry and flow from there.”
4. Ask better questions.
“When you meet someone for the first time, asking them ‘What do you do?’ is not the best first question because that only tells you what they do for money, not necessarily what they're passionate about. To get insight into who that person truly is, ask: What are you passionate about in your life right now? What lights you up? What excites you? What are you working towards?”
5. Shift your mindset.
“We've all been hurt. And we can be guarded because we don't want to get hurt again. The brain is a very complex and brilliant system designed to keep us safe, and emotional survival is a real thing. We become super protective, and in that, we come up with a lot of different rules, paradigms, [and] belief systems. The biggest mindset shift is: how can we do our own work to know and believe that we are worthy and deserving of love.”
Whether you’re on a dating app or roaming your local Trader Joe’s, love is everywhere — and the abundance of love is available to us once we remove limiting beliefs that make it feel scarce and out of reach. Vulnerability, shedding our walls, and openness just might be the tweaks we need to snitch up the dating streets and watch it heal for the better.
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Featured image by LeoPatrizi/Getty Images
